//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Science is Magic // Story: The Crossroads // by Ex-Nihilos //------------------------------// Chapter 7: Science is Magic Twilight’s mouth was agape, staring at her broken window and the shattered pieces of glass that littered the floor.         “Rainbow! What were you thinking?!” she loudly said as she trotted over to the remains of her window, “I thought you said you’d use the door!” She turned around and went quiet again when she heard Rainbow Dash speak. She froze when she saw her cyan friend standing in front of the formidable form of Captain Imperious, a pony who was supposed to be dead.         “Oh... uh..” Twilight started, “he’s... well... This is Captain Imperious. He used to be my bodyguard back in Canterlot and he... came by to visit! Yes, that’s right!”         Rainbow Dash blinked, “He’s tall,” she said.         “Um, well yes I suppose he is,” Twilight said, “Imperious, Memphis this is my friend Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash you’ve met the Captain already and the other pony beside him is Memphis.”         Rainbow Dash looked around the towering pony to see a tan pony with a deep black mane. He nodded sharply to her and muttered a “Miss” to her before he looked back down at the glass on the floor.         “Well nice to meet you both. I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!” Rainbow Dash proudly exclaimed, “So you two visiting Ponyville?”         “You could say that,” Raeg grunted.         Memphis didn’t respond but rather hopped over the broken glass to Twilight. “I’m sorry to make this a bit ‘o a rush ‘ere Miss Twilight but you were sayin’ you needed equipment?”         Twilight nodded, “Yes of course, the equipment for the tests I want to run is down in the basement. But come to think of it, since you’re already here I could probably just do the tests now and save everypony some time. Would you mind being my test subject for this, Mr. Memphis? I swear it won’t take long.”         Memphis frowned, hesitating a moment before he finally answered the eager eyes in front of him, “I reckon it’d be alright... I suppose. Lead the way then, miss.”         “Great! I can already think of what tests to run, oh if only Spike hadn’t run off like that. I could really use the help.” Twilight said as she trotted to the basement door with the stallion in tow.         “Well I suppose any other sane man would do right about the same thing if he got a letter like that only to see the subject of it glarin’ down on ‘im.”         Twilight stopped at the doorway to look at him. She blinked, “I... guess you’re right. Huh, didn’t think of it that way Mr. Memphis.”         Memphis shrugged, “You can do away with the mister part Miss Sparkle, I ain’t one for being formal to.” With that she descended the stairs with him in tow. Going down the stairs the echoes of what sort of tests Twilight wanted to run could be heard.         “Ah know more than two of those test you mentioned aren’t going to be comfortable,” Memphis called out, the worry slightly more evident from his usual calm and lethargic drawl.         And so Captain Raeg and Rainbow Dash were left upstairs, by themselves. Still slightly intimidated by the tall pegasus she slowly asked, “So how long have you known Twilight?”         “Pretty much since she became the Princess’ protege,” Raeg huffed, glancing up at the broken window for a moment.         Down below phantom colored lights appeared as the sound of a whirling machine was started up.         “Wow... so uh pretty long time, huh?” Rainbow Dash said, feeling the awkwardness of their conversation.         “Mhm,” Raeg said.         “How long you staying in Ponyville?” she asked him.         “No idea,” he replied.         Before Rainbow could go on though a sharp cry from down below reached their ears, “YEOW! Careful dere! Ah can still feel pain y’know!” A familiar voice gave a sincere apology over the sound of the machine before it started up again to drown out the talking and the occasional surprised shouts of pain.         Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but shudder at the prospects Memphis found himself in right now. She looked up to see Imperious staring down at her, she smiled nervously back, trying her best not to look flighty.         “So you used to be a royal guardspony right? Aren’t you guys suppose to be emotionless, you know like stoic or something?” she said, trying to revive the conversation despite the rather disturbing sounds down in Twilight’s laboratory.         “Not that kind of guardspony.” Raeg said. He narrowed his eyes then, “What makes you think I’m not emotionless?”         Rainbow gestured to his flank, “Well your cutie mark is an angry face. That’s not very stoic if you asked me.”         “Ow! I’m positive ya aren’t using that thing right, right there!” A shout from Memphis down below interrupted their conversation again.         “I really wonder what’s going on down there,” Rainbow said, looking over at the open door.         “I don’t want to know,” Raeg replied gruffly, staring down the same doorway as her. “OW! THIS IS NOT THE KIND ‘O TESTS AH HAD IN MIND!” “So what exactly is Twilight doing to that Memphis guy?” Rainbow asked.         “She said ‘tests’, I say torture.” Raeg grumbled. “I wouldn’t worry about it either way. He should be fine.”         “If you say so.” Rainbow conceded. “So where were you stationed before you came to Ponyville?”         “Northlands,” he grunted.         “DEAR GOD NOT THERE!” they heard Memphis shout from the basement.         “Really?” Rainbow asked, perking up. “Did you see any action?”         “Some.” he replied.         “What legion did you serve with?” she persisted         “Canterlot 501st.” Raeg said.         “The five-oh... “ she trailed off as she looked back to his cutie mark. “... first? You were with the Angry Legion!”         “Eeyup.”         “Oh man, that’s so awesome! You guys are the coolest!” she exclaimed.         Raeg looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What?”         “The Angry Legion, you guys are the Heroes of the Northlands!” she gushed.         “Is that what they’re calling us?” he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.         “Of course, you guys ended the war before it really even started! Oh man, you must have some awesome stories!”         Raeg snorted. “Sure, wanna hear about the time I got to watch all my men die?” he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.         Rainbow Dash seemed to deflate at his words. “What?” she asked.         “The 501st is dead, kid. They all died in the last engagement of the war.”         “But...” Rainbow stammered. “But you guys were heroes...”         “We weren’t heroes, kid, we were soldiers. We did what we signed up to do. We were just better at it than most ponies.”         “I’m sorry.” she said, quietly. “So you’re the only one left?”         “I... I’m retired, I guess you could say.” Raeg said.         “Oh. Is that why you’re visiting Twilight?” she asked.         “Uh... sure. Yeah, I just needed to see a familiar face, I guess.” he lied.         “Well if you’re gonna be in town for a while you should hang out with us.” Rainbow suggested. “It might help you get your mind off of... well that.”         Raeg just stared at her.         “Alright, how about this, you being a war hero and everything, why don’t I treat you to a night at the cider house? How’s that sound?” she suggested.         Raeg developed a thousand yard stare. “I could really use a drink right about now...” “Well now ya gone and done it lad, ya scared ‘er off!” Lucky brought his hoof to his face while letting out a sigh. “Ye too Chubs, what good did ya think would come of chewing on the mare's tail?!” Lucky didn’t wait for an answer, he just trotted over to the bench and sat down. His face lost its trademark smile and was set in a frown. Even a happy go-lucky seeming pony was scared off by them in less than 10 seconds flat.         Lucky turned to Abigail and said, “well it seems ye learned ‘ow to use magic. At least ya got the bloody maniac off the pony before ‘e did something we would all regret.”         Abigail nodded and looked back to Lewdy who was currently crying with his head in the dirt and pounding his hooves about. “Would have helped if I knew something sooner, but you’re right, at least I stopped something even worse happening. Do you think she’ll come back?”         Lucky chuckled a little. “I doubt it. That pony looked more scared than a nun on Saint Pattie’s Day,” Lucky shook his head, “for now it’s probably just best that we wait for Memphis and Raeg... and keep Lewdy under control.”         “Oy! Chubs!” Chubs looked at Lucky, “‘ow about you try to keep yeself under control next time lad? In the meantime, ‘ow about you just relax under a tree so we don’t have to keep an eye on you AND Lewdy.”         Chubs lazily lifted his head from the ground and said, “but it looked so tasty.” Lucky could see the drool coming from the stallion's mouth. Even it looked slow and fat.         “Er, right lad... right.” Haku stared in amusement as his group scared off another possible helper source of escape. Oh sure, Haku could have helped, but where would the fun be in that? No, it was always much better to just sit back and watch the explosions from the sidelines. And boy howdy, were there some explosions. The part where Chubs actually started to eat Pinkie? Oh man, that was priceless. The only question Haku had after the ordeal was if Pinkie’s tail really did taste like cotton candy like the internet said. “Now then,” Haku started, “What to do now?” The question gained the attention of the group, all staring at him. “Well, we just scared off- oh, Haku means- you all just scared off the happiest pony in the area. Nice going. Haku honestly doesn’t know where to go from here.” “What does that mean?” Lewdy said, still a little teary-eyed from their missed opportunity. Haku couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Well, Haku means that if we can scare the pony who giggles at everything scary, then surely there’s nothing to do now, right?” “What about the Zecora thing in that one episode?” Chubs asked, “She didn’t giggle then. Pinkie was nearly as scared as she was now.” Again, Haku chuckled, throwing his foreleg around Chubs’ shoulder, “Well Haku’s good man, that is indeed a good point. But then, Pinkie had friends. She was alone now. Back then, Pinkie suffered from a cousin of poison ivy. Now, She suffered from actually beings from beyond the grave. Back then, Pinkie giggled at how they were pranked by a by the forest. Now? Pinkie was spooked by zombie ponies. Actual zombie ponies.” Lucky opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, having to think this through a bit. “So what ye be saying lad, is that we’re all royally screwed now?” Haku turned to face the irishman/pony with a dead serious look. “We’re more than screwed Lucky,” Haku began, “We’re so deeply screwed into the wood, we may just have to get a whole new piece of plywood and a bag of screws just so we can start the project all overs again... that is, if we didn’t have Twilight on our side” Haku stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “Haku totally forgot about her.” The group let out a collective sigh, remembering their purple friend. Except for Chubs, who most likely sighed because he missed the taste of Pinkie’s tail. “And now,” Haku whispered, “We must play the waiting game.” A moment of silence past. “Good luck guys, I’m the regional champ” Haku stated, bringing on a bout of face-hoofing. “Don’t you lie, Haku.” ‘Quiet Brain, Haku has this in the bag.’ The melancholy and frustration Abigail felt over Pinkie being scared away quickly devolved into seething rage for Lewdy and Chubs.  Not that she really needed the help to dislike either of them, Chubs was a useless blob with the apparent grey matter of a single ant while Lewdy was, well, lewd (and also insane from three years of being trapped in a small unbarred prison, but that argument didn’t help to win him any points).  She hadn’t really formed an opinion on Loro or Haku; they were both quite odd but seemed mostly harmless.  Dominique, or Lucky Money as he had fashioned himself, seemed to be the sanest of their party.  Raeg was, well, a very angry pony.  It did seem odd that he was Equestrian born while the rest of them were human, but it would likely help them to escape their confinement if he had connections.  Memphis was an odd one too; he seemed as level headed as Lucky or herself, but Abigail couldn’t help but think that there was something behind his calm.  Either way, he was a reasonable person and seemed able to hold Lewdy in check.  Perhaps if he had been there, they wouldn’t have lost Pinkie Pie.  Lewdy just seemed permanently self defeating.  Certainly the type of pony you couldn’t take your eye o- Abigail came out of her reverie to the unpleasant sight of Lewdy, Chubs and Haku flinging pebbles and twigs at any passing ponies they felt they could reach.  “GRAAAAGH!  What are you doing?  Didn’t you want to get out of here?”  Abigail was shouting at the pack of idiots as she broke out into a gallop towards them. “Don’t get your non-existant panties in a knot, girlie,” said Lewdy in a surprisingly melancholy, yet still entirely acerbic tone.  “Nothing we do can affect them unless they let it.  Even if we break a rock over the fuckers’ heads it’ll just disappear and reappear where it started.  They’ll only barely feel a breeze.  Maybe they’ll think they’ve been tapped, or it’ll be like a cold burst of air hit ‘em.”  He shouted in frustrated rage as he chucked a rather sizable stone, hitting a pony square in the head from across the street. Abigail looked on in horror, expecting the pony to fall to the ground in pain, bleeding through a nasty wound.  Instead, the orange mare just shivered a little and went on her way.  The rock quickly disappeared from its landing spot, only to materialize at Lewdy’s hooves.  He picked it up again and hefted it towards a window, it seemed to pass right through and reappear once more in front of him. “Trust me, there’s nothing we can do to affect the living’s world.  I’ve tried it all, too.  I’ve dug ditches across the road to trap carts here that refilled themselves as quickly as they’re dug.  I’ve laid down in front of their carts only to be crushed without even being noticed.  WE - CAN’T - FUCKING - DO - ANYTHING - UNLESS - THEY - GODDAMN - LET - US!”  Each shouted word was punctuated by another stone ineffectually striking its target, Lewdy had clearly had too much practice at this pastime.  “So, unless you’re offering me some other way to distract myself,” he eyed Abigail in a way that was entirely uncomfortable, “I’d suggest you fuck off for a while.” Shaken, Abigail backed away from Lewdy.  He was much more emotional than he’d been before, she could have sworn she’d seen tears beginning to well up in his eyes.  The salvation he’d sought for three years had just walked right up to him - been in his hooves, even - only to be ripped away.  Abigail was honestly surprised that he hadn’t killed Chubs yet, for all the good it would do.  She decided to avoid the group and settled down under the tree and work on using magic.  There was nothing better for her to do, at any rate.         Twilight trotted up the stairs again after a time of silence once the tests were completed. She was frowning, a blush on her face from embarrassment. “Oh Celestia I’m sorry about the ectoplasmic test again Memphis. I didn’t think it’d turn out to be so... invasive.”         On shaky hooves Memphis trotted up after her, trying his best not to grimace from the uncomfortable experience he just endured, “It’s... fine Miss Twilight... just... I’d rather we never speak of that again.”         Twilight bit at her lower lip, “of course. I’m sorry again, I guess maybe I went overboard.”          “Again, rather we didn’t talk about it. Now then, did you find out everything you needed to know? I’d feel a bit better knowing I didn’t go through all that for nothing.” Memphis said, refusing to look her in the eye.         “Oh most definitely! Well you’re for the most part like any other pony except... well you don’t... oh how do I put this. If would seem your blood is actually ectoplasm and your body temperature is lower than that of a living pony. Your story is much more believable now with evidence. On top of everything else that’s happened... I think I finally believe your story.” Twilight after her many pauses said with a final exasperated sigh. “And I just wanted to say that... I’m sorry for all those times I walked past you both and didn’t even think twice about you. If I knew...”         “Don’t give it ‘nother thought Miss Sparkle. You aren’t the only one and honestly I wasn’t sure there was much you could do besides letting us walk around a bit. Even now I think this is just a respite if anything. Glad the others don’t have to deal with that loneliness we had to deal with in the start.” Memphis told her, his calm voice turning more solemn than stoic now.         “Well hopeless or not I can’t just leave anypony to suffer like that, I’ll find some way to make this all right!” Twilight exclaimed with determination, though faltered at the soft chuckling of Memphis, “What’s so funny?”         “Nothin’ Miss Sparkle, just I almost forgot how determined the young and living can be. You get ‘ta see from a different perspective on the other side, y’could say. Now then, let’s go collect the Captain and get back to the others.” He trotted towards the main library but stopped to look over at the lavender unicorn, “that is of course you still want to ‘elp a bunch of unusual ghosts such as ourselves.”         Twilight gave a curt nod, “Of course, let’s go.”         Returning to the main library Memphis made sure to kick away the glass on the floor into a clear pile by the wall so none of the ponies would cut themselves on it. Being dead he could afford a few cuts. The sight of the broken window again reminded the librarian of her irritation with the rainbow maned pony that sheepishly grinned back at her.         “Uh hehehe, sorry about the window Twilight, promise I’ll pay for it buuut I gotta go now, just dropped by to grab the new Daring Do book before I went over to Pinkie’s.” Dashing to one of the bookshelves she took a rather new looking volume with ‘Daring Do’ written in golden letters on its binding. Flying up to the window she waved back, “Nice talkin’ with you Cap! How ‘bout later tonight we go out for that drink at the Cider house? I’ll meet you there, bye!” And with a rainbow flash of light she was out the window again.         Memphis watched the space the cyan pegasus was in moments ago before he finally hummed, turning to Imperious he spoke slowly, “You realize that wasn’t a proper invitation; ya won’t be able to leave with that alone.”         “Well hopefully I can fix that,” Twilight chimed in.         “Hopefully so. Let’s get back now before we go ‘n give Spike a heart attack. Next chance we get we’ll need to apologize to the poor fella. Not everyday ya see the dead.”         “Pinkie Pie? Are you alright in there?” Mrs. Cake asked through the closed bedroom door. It had been a few minutes since pink pony had burst back into Sugarcube corner with her eyes brimming with tears and an uneasy shake in her step. She wouldn’t say what was wrong to her or Mr. Cake but instead put the cake she was supposed to deliver down on the counter and ran upstairs.         She’d been locked in her room ever since, sobbing.         Behind the door, Pinkie Pie was hiding under her bed, curled up with a blanket for protection. The desperate, crazed eyes of that green pony were still clear in her mind and the memory of a terrifying and evil mare was vivid to her again. She was scared. Just moments ago she’d stared death in the face and was nearly eaten by a ghost, the thought of ever going close to those crossroads again was enough to keep her hidden in the blankets beneath her bed.         Pinkie didn’t answer the voice at the door. Sniffing and clearing away the tears from her eyes with the blanket, she listened to the hoofsteps hesitantly walk back downstairs.