"No, the Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to write 2,200 words in order to upgrade her cutie mark. She already has 2,198 words and she refuses to add two more just to humor your sick, twisted notions of what an "achievement" is. Is my masterpiece not enough for you neeeeeeeighsaying fools? Shall Trixie demonstrate her superiority by showing you what a real achievement is? Perhaps Trixie shall tie you up with a magical rope? Or mayhaps Trixie could tie you up with a magical rainbow? Would you like Twixie to tie you up and then dye your hair a hideous color? Or Trixie could simply vanquish you like she did to the ursa major in Ponyville. Wait, why are you looking at the Great and Power Trixie like that? I am warning you, cease your transgression at once or Trixie shall tie you up with magic! Wait, you ponies want Trixie to do that? While making Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo cry? And having Twilight Sparkle make lusty eye batting motions at you? All while eating bacon? What is wrong with you ponies? You disgust the Great and Powerful Trixie, who has had enough of this!"
And then Trixie banished herself to the moon and lived happily ever after.