Chapter six: The past isn’t easy
Spitfire continued to hold the white mare in her wings until she was sure that she was really asleep, her breath going soft and steady. A small tear found its way down her muzzle, but she stayed silent. She had lied to her best friend, had told her lies about her feelings.
It seemed wrong, but at that thought, something shot into her mind. Spitfire promised she would never leave Vinyl hanging, and she was going to keep her promise no matter the cost. Even if the cost had to be her feelings. Watching the white mare in her embrace, she heard the door open and looked up to see Sassaflash stick her head in.
“Hey Spits... How is she?”
“Better and asleep now, don't worry.” Spitfire said, smiling slightly.
“We should let her sleep. Coffee sound good?” the turquoise mare showed small signs of a grin.
“Yep, definitely.” the wonderbolt replied, carefully laying Vinyl down onto her bed, trying her best to not wake her up.
Both mares left the room and went downstairs to the hospital’s cafe. It was rather small, but would serve its purpose. They both ordered a large cup of coffee and stayed silent until their order came, then Spitfire took a sip and sighed.
“Did you ever stop loving her?”
The question surprised Sassaflash who choked on her coffee. “Why do you ask?”
Spitfire took another sip and snorted. “Because I still do, and just told her a few minutes ago that I only wanted friendship. I said it so she could chase after that grey mare without thinking she would have to deal with me again.”
“I understand, I feel exactly the same way and would say the same if she asked.” Sassaflash tried to crack a smile, but it nearly instantly faded away. “I miss the old times, and would love to know if it could've gone otherwise.”
“You never told me about those old times, or how you two met, Sassa.”
“I didn't?”she looked at the yellow mare and noticed the interested stare.
“Not really, you two are keeping some secrets.” it sounded almost sad from the wonderbolt.
“Uhm, I'm sorry about that. I could tell you the story, but its rather long and boring.” the turquoise mare tried to play the topic down.
“Well, we’ve got time and I'm listening.” came the reply.
Sighing, Sassaflash placed her cup down and stretched her wings slightly. “If you insist... I think it was about nine years ago, and I still lived with my parents. Quite a sad time, I can tell you that. My parents wanted me to become some kind of weather engineer, so they sent me to Canterlot University.”
“Wouldn't Cloudsdale have been better for that?” Spitfire interrupted.
“Nah, not really, too expensive and all that stuff, you know. Weather stuff is always more expensive at Cloudsdale. Anyways, I’d just finished the first semester, and my friend Cloud Kicker invited me to an awesome party at a club the next day. I told my parents I forgot my notebook at her place, and I visited her to get more details.”
“You know Cloud Kicker? As in Cloud Kicker with lavender coat and lemon mane?” the wonderbolt seemed surprised.
“She's my oldest friend, why?”
“Because she's currently my second Lieutenant at the academy” she answered and Sassaflash's jaw hung open.
“I think we should talk about that later Spits. Anyways, where was I? Ah yes, so I visited her, trying to get some more information about the party. And guess who opened the door?”
“Cloud Kicker?”
“Nope, it was a white mare with a blue mane and purple shades on her snout....”
***
About nine years earlier in Canterlot
It wasn't really what I had expected, maybe Cloud Kicker's sister, but not a stranger that wore shades inside a house...
“What'cha want?” the white mare asked me, staying between the door frame.
“Uhm, I wanted to visit Cloud Kicker, is she at home?” I asked, slightly nervous.
“Ah-huh and you are? She stared at me, at least that’s what I thought, unable to see behind the shades.
“Sassaflash and you?”
“Huh you don't know me?” the expression on the mare’s muzzle fell slightly.
“I'm sorry, I don't think we have met yet” I tried to apologize, but the unicorn quickly turned and yelled inside the house.
“Yo Kicky, there's some weird, blue filly for you at the door.”
“My coat is turquoise.” I muttered, getting a bit annoyed
“What was that?” her head snapped back and she seemed to grin a bit.
“N-nothing.” I tried not to squeal.
Soon I heard some hooves and in the next moment Cloud Kicker pulled me inside the house, crushing me to the floor and hugging me tightly. Her orchid eyes stared at me, seemingly filled with happiness.
“Sassa, glad you came by. Please excuse my guest, she does not have any manners.” Cloud Kicker shot a glare at the white mare “Yo, her coat is turquoise, you should remember that.”
I knew that Cloudy was the only pony besides my family that could remember the colour of my coat. The unicorn snorted and left us alone while she walked into the kitchen.
“Don't mind her, she's unique.” Cloud Kicker laughed, hugging me once more before getting up.
“Who is she Cloudy?”
“DJ-Pon3.” came the answer from behind us. “Maybe you've heard of me, filly.”
The white mare was standing in the door towards the kitchen, a devilish smile upon her muzzle while Cloudy shot her a glare.
“Yo stop it Vi, you're only two years ol-” she was stopped by a hoof upon her muzzle.
DJ-Pon3, or Vi as Cloudy called her, shoved the pegasus away, seemingly starting to get angry for no reason at all.
“I’ve told you many, many times Kicky, Don't bucking call me Vi!” she snapped, pushing her hoof up to Cloud Kicker's chest.
“Okay, okay Vinyl sorry, stop it.” Cloud Kicker squealed, before muttering. “You never said why, but okay.”
The white mare stopped and turned around, letting me feel her stare behind those purple shades. At this moment, I really wished I could see her eyes or at least know what she thought. I know it was dumb, but my muzzle opened to speak.
“Why is it wrong if your friend calls you by a nickname?” I started, unable to shut it down.
She walked up to me, anger fitting her voice as she answered. “Because she doesn’t have any bucking right to use it and you better worry about your own stuff, got it?”
***
“I always thought you two were the best pals right away.” Spitfire interrupted the story.
Sassaflash wanted to continue, but lost her concentration. “Ugh Spits, could you keep these things until after my story? It’s hard to remember everything clearly.”
“Why is that?”
“Because the past isn’t always easy, Spits. Some parts of it hurt, so please, let me focus and finish.” Sassaflash sighed, gathering her thoughts.
“A bit for answering my question first?” the yellow mare threw in, an eyebrow raised.
“If you have to know it, Vi was much worse in her behaviour when I met her. The Vi you met was the nicer and calmer version of the one I met, trust me. Can I continue now?” Sassaflash didn’t like it, but she wasn’t about to lie. A nod made her continue the story.
***
“Whoa, whoa calm down” I said, backing away towards the wall.
The white mare stopped approaching me and looked away. “Don’t do that again. You seem okay, but if you cross the line you’ll regret it. You can call me Vinyl.”
Vinyl walked away from me, grabbed some white saddlebags at the door and intended to leave, but turned back to Cloudy and me, standing at the now open door.
“I expect you two tomorrow at the club, eight pm, and don’t you dare be late!” with that, the door was shut and we were alone.
Silence made it’s way up, reaching us both and I didn’t dare to ask questions about Vinyl. Oh trust me, I wanted to ask Cloudy various things, but something seemed wrong with that mare.
Cloudy was the first to break the silence. “She’s really unique, huh? Uhm, want some of the daisy sandwiches that are leftover from lunch?”
I nodded, but felt the urge to ask her my questions first. “How did you two meet?”
“At the club, three months ago. Things are quite difficult though.” came the answer from the kitchen.
Now I was interested. “And why is that?”
“Uhm, we’re friends with benefits, although we don’t really know each other.” she said, coming back with a small plate full of sandwiches on her left wing.
“So you’re… uhm doing you know what with a mare you don’t even really know?” I asked, getting a slight nod.
***
“Whoa, stop right there! Vinyl bucked with Cloud Kicker because of… nothing?” Spitfire asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
Sassaflash bit her lower lip, starting to get annoyed. “You could ask those things ‘after’ my story, you know? And yes, after what she told me, they were just… doing it.”
“It disappoints me a bit that she was into that stuff that early. At least she’s not doing it anymore today, at least not until she gets feelings for the pony or knows her.”
I nodded, gathering my thoughts back to the story but Spitfire interrupted me again. “Could you go right to the day after that, where you headed to the club with Cloud Kicker?”
“Cloudy had some interesting things to tell me about Vinyl, so listen Spits. I will just continue from the point you interrupted me. So, we ate our sandwiches and Cloudy talked a bit about different things and I got to know Vinyl better….” I started, watching Spitfire to make sure she wouldn’t interrupt again.
***
“She’s tough, loud, silly and messy, but she’s got her heart in the right place.” Cloudy managed to speak between bites of her sandwich.
I wanted to know as much as possible about that mare, But I wondered to myself why I was so interested in her. Trust me, never before had I had such interest in some pony, and so I asked the forbidden question.
“Why doesn’t she want to be called Vi?” I asked, blushing slightly but keeping eye-contact with Cloudy.
“Well, I only know part of it, but I guess you’re interested in her so I’ll tell you.” I blushed deep red, something that was quite easy to notice on my turquoise coat, and Cloudy snickered. “I can tell you like her a lot. So as for the reason, Vinyl has been a fillyfooler since early school. She tried various things, even with stallions before she came to the fact that they are icky, uncool and not trustworthy. She soon befriended with a mare named Beauty Brass…”
“They fell in love?” I asked, fascinated.
“Not instantly, but after a while. They went out, dated, and after a few months became a couple. Then… things went… insane.”
“Insane?” I just couldn't hold back..
“Beauty Brass went to Canterlot Academy and was interested in classical music, while Vinyl went to the same Academy and learned about electronic music. Soon they both became the opposite of each other and they just couldn't hold back any longer. They were fighting every single day, and soon it was too much. Beauty Brass said that Vinyl had to decide, her marefriend or her music. Vinyl had just gotten her cutie mark a few days before and just couldn’t decide, a bit later and Beauty Brass was gone. The reason why nopony should ever call her Vi again is that only Beauty called her that.”
“What happened after that?” the words came out of my muzzle before I could stop them.
“Something broke in Vinyl. She shut herself away from everypony, only taking relief in her music. That’s why she is like she is today. Strong outside, broken inside. I’m glad I could take her out of her shell, at least enough to become friends with her, but everything else I’ve tried to bring her back to life has failed.” Cloudy exclaimed, looking seriously at me.
Something inside me broke at these words, to me this mare was beautiful and I wanted to help her, but I didn’t have any clue how. I never thought about my feelings, and I told myself I would just like her a lot.
***
“Wow, and that’s also the reason why she doesn’t want a relationship, seems pretty clear.” Spitfire interrupted again. “Although she lied to me…”
“Yeah, Spits and thanks for interrupting me again silly. Wait… lied to you?”
“Remember the day I came to the club with the contract? You and Neon had to carry us home that night, and the next morning, Vi and I went to a cafe. We talked for a bit and what she said about the reason she isn’t into relationships is different than what your telling me. She said that she had not experienced true love yet, and that she loved you, but more as a friend…and that she felt kind of the same for me…” Spitfire ended and sighed.
“We can ask her later about that, but could you stay quiet now and listen? I’m about to tell you what happened at the club” Sassaflash said and continued with her story.
***
So the next day we went to the club, and we made it perfectly on time. We wanted to get in, but the bouncer blocked the way and said we weren't on the list for VIP-Entry, so we would just have to wait like everypony else. We weren’t really happy about this, but soon he returned with an apologetic grin.
“I’m sorry, why haven’t you tried to tell me that you’re friends of our DJ? Come in quickly, she wants to see you before the gig.” he said, pulling us inside and through the club.
It was simply huge, it my first time in such a giant club. A big stage and dancefloor were in the center, the dancefloor capable of holding hundreds of ponies for sure. He guided us through a small hallway which led into the VIP-Section, passing small couches and comfortable chairs. We soon stood in front of a small door and Cloudy tried to get in, but he reached out his hoof to stop her.
“Whoa hold on there, the DJ said only the turquoise pegasus is allowed to enter her area, you’ll have to stay here.” he said, nodding me towards the door.
Cloudy just gave me a confused look, but what the bouncer said shot through my head like an arrow. She remembered the colour of my coat, which was unusual. I wondered about what could wait inside, but I went in nevertheless. The room was dark, it seemed like her resting-room with a bed, a small set of drawers, and a door that I guessed led to the bathroom. She sat on her bed, even in this dark room her shades on her snout and snapped her head towards me.
“Glad you made it, Sassaflash was your name?” she asked and I nodded.
“I’m not good with long names, so I just call you Sassa. But hey, I’m impressed with myself that I remembered the colour of your coat.” she grinned at me.
“I was really surprised that you remembered it, and more surprised that you let me in but not Cloudy.” I tried to look behind her shades but to no use.
She stood up and walked towards me, her grin still around her muzzle. I tried to back away, but was soon stopped with the door against my flank. She walked closer and leaned in, her muzzle at my ears.
“I really do like you, too bad I’m not into such things anymore.” she whispered, her breath causing my ears to twitch.
“B-but you only met me yesterday! How can you already think such things?” I stuttered, but my heart jumped and told me I’m a bad liar, knowing I had similar feelings for that mare already.
“Hey, I’m not a pony that sits on her flank and waits for things to come. If I want something or somepony I get up and catch it, also I can tell from your breathing that you feel similar. I’m not a small, dumb foal ya know.” she snickered, leaning back and looking at me.
Or I thought she was at least, her shades were still covering her eyes. I felt the need to take her shades away and had already unfolded my wings, reaching for them, but Vinyl quickly drew back, shaking her head.
“No! N-nopony can see me without them, I’m a freak! They all get scared away or glare at me because of them.” To my surprise, Vinyl was clearly sobbing in front of me and I tried to advance on her again, but she quickly moved back faster. “I don’t want you to be scared and run away.” she whispered and my eyes widened.
“I won’t be scared away, and I’m definitely not glare at you because of them either. If you’re different, that makes you something special Vinyl, something that everypony should recognize and you should be proud of.” I said, trying to take away her fear, but it also was the truth.
The white mare stopped backing away and sobbing. She looked up, a small smile showing on her muzzle. “You really think so?”
“Of course I do!” I quickly stepped forward, passing the last void between us and closed my wings around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace.
At first she tried to fight it but after a few seconds she leaned in, whispering up my ear. “I hate this mushy stuff… I’m Vinyl Scratch, the best and loudest DJ in Equestria for Luna’s sake.”
“That doesn’t mean that you don’t have any feelings.” I managed to answer, then pulled her shades off with my hooves. She resisted at first, and then she just closed her eyes once they were uncovered, making me unable to catch a look at them. “Vinyl, open your eyes.”
She hesitated, but slowly her eyes went open, making my mind stutter and my heart jump. Her eyes were a mix between a nice ruby and dark crimson, giving her a beautiful, exotic look. I took my breath in, barely able to force my mind to think about anything else.
Vinyl looked at me and fear stealed it’s way onto her face as she backed away, shouting. “You’re just like the others, staring at me like I’m a damn freak! Go buck yourself and leave me alone!”
“Vinyl, stop! I’m not staring at you because I think you’re a freak! I’m staring at you because I think you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen!” I shouted back, a blush making its way up to my cheeks.
What happened next surprised me. Vinyl rushed forwards and pressed her lips on mine. I never expected that to happen, trust me. It ended as quickly as it began, and she turned her eyes down to the ground, her face shining bright red.
“I’m sorry.” she muttered, nearly inaudible.
“You don’t have to be, I like you a lot too.” I managed to say.
She kicked her rear legs into the carpet and looked up, a tear shimmering in her eye.
“Look, I really like you but…” she stopped, tears running down her muzzle.
“But because of what happened with Beauty, you don’t want to risk it happening again?” I finished her sentence.
Vinyl looked shocked, but nodded after a moment and tried to speak. “I’ve watched you for quite a while now, I have to admit. We didn’t just meet yesterday, sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Now it was my turn to look shocked. “Ah okay so you… wait, What?! Where?”
“School, we’re sharing physics class grade B, although I’m in the last semester and you’re in first.” she said, a sad smile appearing on her muzzle.
“I never saw you in one of those…” my mind started running around, trying to remember anypony in the class that looked like her, and then I got the clue.
“Wait!” my eyes widening as I tried to focus her. “You’re the white mare with the glossy, blue mane? You have light-blue trails in your spiky mane, how is that possible?”
“I’m trying to hide my cutie mark as well as I can and as for the streaks… magic. I’m not doing my mane before I go to school so I might look quite a bit different.”
***
“Wait, her mane is actually a normal, flat manecut with only shade of blue in it?” Spitfire interrupted Sassaflash, again.
“You’ve never seen it?” Sassaflash raised an eyebrow.
“Nope, not even after our nightly activities. Only her mane with the spikes and the light blue streaks in it.” the yellow mare seemed disappointed.
“I’m sure you could have asked, now let me continue and stop interrupting me, it really gets on my nerves.”
***
My jaw hung open wide, trying to imagine the mare in front of me as the shy one in my class. She never talked with anypony or did much more than her work. Now that I’ve thought about it, she had never spoken at all during school. But something just wouldn’t match up.
“Her eyes are blue and your’s are like rubies.” I said before I could stop myself.
Vinyl smiled wickedly and I felt heat in my cheeks as I realized what I had said. “Magic, once again, and do you really think my eyes look like rubies?”
I tried to answer her, but only some muttering and babbling left my muzzle. It also really wasn’t helping that she was coming closer, looking deep into my eyes, and I was lost in hers. My head said it would be so damn wrong, that there wasn’t such a thing as quick love and that I should just like her. But my heart pumped stronger and louder, calling my head a liar, and I felt myself moving towards Vinyl.
She kissed me, and this time I leaned in, ignoring everything in me saying that it was wrong…
***
“From that moment on I knew that I loved her. We met several times and our bond strengthened, although we never went further than some kisses and.. ‘Fun-stuff’. I accepted that she didn’t love me, nor ever could, so soon I accepted to be her best friend.” Sassaflash ended, smiling sadly at Spitfire.
“And how come she let’s you call her Vi?”
“Well, it was several months later, we enjoyed dinner on Hearts and Hooves Day and she revealed that I’ve been the only pony in a long time she could trust without hesitation. She kissed me and said I could call her Vi, if I wanted to. Vi reasoned it with the fact that I helped her get out of her shell. She also entrusted to me that she was thinking about suicide before I showed up...”
“Aww that’s sweet, except the suicide-thoughts of course, but you two are definitely more into these mushy things than me.” the wonderbolt started laughing, nearly dropping off of her chair.
“Shall I remind you all those mushy things you did for Vi back in time?” Sassa asked, glaring at her friend.
The yellow mare went silent in an instant, just smiling weakly at her friend. Sometimes Sassaflash wondered what was going on in that mare, she was just so random. At most times Spitfire kept her image of the unreachable and loud Captain, uptight, causing most ponies to avoid her. But in her free time with her friends, or alone, she was a whole different pony, and Sassa was always impressed by how the wonderbolt could keep up the act.
“What do you think of that Octavia?” Spitfire started, distracting Sassaflash from her thoughts.
“I haven’t really met her yet, but from what Vi told me she’s a nice mare, loves classical music, and is beautiful.” the turquoise mare said, trying to remember the things Vi told her.
“Well, if you ask me, she loves that mare…” Spitfire sighed and drank the last bit of her coffee.
“You do know that words like love, relationship and marefriend won’t go along nicely, we’re talking about Vi here, Spits!”
“I know that, but still, there is something going on. We should go back and watch over Vi.” the wonderbolt said and stood up.
Both mares went back to Vinyl’s room, slowly trotting up the stairs. They were lost in their own thoughts, thinking about Vinyl and what would happen in the future. Planning to give Vinyl a break and try to help her, they reached the corridor of Vinyl’s room. Every plan of theirs was cancelled once they spotted a grey mare about to knock on the white mares door.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Sassaflash muttered before spreading her wings and jumping towards the mare, leaving Spitfire behind with her jaw open.
A couple of moments later, Spitfire realized who the grey mare was that now struggled in Sassaflash’s hold.
“Octavia…?