Celestia lay in her velvet bed. The plush, violet fabric did nothing to make her feel more comfortable. Due to how wet she had been after coming out of the rain just minutes before, the bed was soaked through, leaving her on a miserable mess of a cushion. She didn't even want to think about what was happening because of the mud on her hooves. The golden pillow that was typically at the head of the bed had been tossed across the room, and now lay slumped against the door to the hallway. Throwing the pillow that she had been cuddling with had been a mistake, but she wasn't going to stand up to get it now.
To her right, the fireplace had been eagerly lapping at a pile of logs when she had entered the room—most likely set by her aides in anticipation of her return—but it had long since been reduced to glowing embers. To her left, the stained-glass window, adorned by a single shooting star, barely let any moonlight into the room. Add in how all of the candles had blown out when she slammed her door shut earlier and only the flickering embers and the tiny rays of candlelight from the hall illuminated the room.
Gripping the edge of the mattress, she let her tears continue to fall. “I cannot believe I let myself become such... such a fool tonight. Why could I not just... just act sensible?”
If she was expecting an answer from her ruined bed, she was going to be sorely disappointed. Instead, she was greeted only by the sound of her own sobs. Shortly after she slammed the door to her room, she had heard hushed whispers from the hall, though none of them had dared to try and console her or figure out what was wrong. She wished that one of them would have opened up the door and asked what was wrong. She desperately wanted to hit somepony with something right now.
The taps of hoofsteps sounded from outside her door. She stifled her crying and perked her ears up. However, after at least half a minute of this, the only sounds that welcomed her were the occasional, quiet pop from the dying fire. She realized then that she had been holding her breath, and released it in a haggard sigh. Did I simply imagine it?
It was then that a soft knock came from the door.
She stopped breathing again, only this time she was actually aware of her actions. Who would think about knocking on her door this late into the night, especially with the bedroom lights being out? She had planned on throwing something at whomever was stupid enough to disturb her woes, but for one of them to actually have the audacity to go through with it? Hopefully, whoever it was would simply take her silence as a signal to just go away—nopony that served her would dare enter her room while she was sleeping. Granted, if one of them did decide to disturb her sanctuary this late in the evening... well... hopefully that pony had his or her will documented.
There was another knock at the door. Louder this time. “Sister? Are you doing alright?”
Of course it is my sister. Coughing, she replied, “Yes, sister. I am... doing quite well. I was hoping to get to sleep soon.”
“We need to talk first. May I come in?”
Celestia quickly wiped her eyes. “Umm... I... do we absolutely have to talk now?” she asked, her voice as steady as she could keep it.
“In a purely literal sense? I suppose not,” Luna replied through the door, opening it immediately afterward. She heard her sister step into the room, but Celestia refused to look. Instead, she stared at the pitiful excuse of a fire remaining within the hearth. There was a pause from Luna at the doorway before the door shut, turning the room dark yet again. Another light soon returned, much more muted than before, flickering from behind Celestia. As the hoofsteps came closer to the bed, the light grew brighter, but just barely. Eventually, the hoofsteps got to her bed, and with the sound of a candlestick tapping against the floor, Celestia saw her pillow magically levitate in front of her face. “However, I do believe that you are in desperate need of somepony to talk to.”
Taking the pillow from Luna, she scooted over to the far side of the cushion, placing the pillow under her chest to give her some support. Still, Celestia continued to look at the embers. “What could anypony possibly need to talk about at one in the morning?”
Her sister slid up next to Celestia, pausing as soon as an audible squish came from the cushion. A couple seconds passed, but Luna continued forward, laid down, and pressed her side against Celestia's own. “Actually sister, it’s much closer to five.”
“Five?” Wow, I had been out much later than I anticipated. “And how long have I been in here?”
“Hmm... I would say... about thirty minutes? Possibly a little more? I am somewhat uncertain.”
“Half an hour?” Celestia rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Why did it take you half an hour to finally come check on me? One of our nosy guards finally decided to act? First time for everything.”
“Actually, none of the guards came to get me. Before you ask, neither did any of the overnight servants either.”
Furrowing her brow, Celestia asked, “Then how did you—”
“I found Pinkie Pie in the hallway, crying.”
Celestia lowered her head and closed her eyes. “I see.”
“Sister, what happened?”
Celestia tried to hear if there was a crackle from the embers. There was none. “Nothing happened.”
“Bullshit!” Luna barked. Celestia almost yelped at the word, whirling around to face Luna. Her sister was giving her a glare that could cut diamond. “Do you really think that I would believe that!?” Celestia couldn't find her tongue. “I woke up from you slamming the door to your bedroom. I came out to investigate what was going on, and I find Pinkie Pie sitting on the floor of the foyer . She was soaking wet looking at the large mirror in there, crying her heart out. I brought her into my room, dried her off, and asked her what was going on. Wanna know what she told me?”
Celestia looked to the side. “I can take a guess,” she muttered.
“She told me how she was a ‘real jerk’ to you and how she ruined her friendship with you! She told me how she wanted to show you how you were really a special pony to her and how she instead made you feel 'super-duper sad' when she said something mean to you..”
Celestia looked back at her sister, only to be met with the same menacing glare that Luna had been holding the entire time. “She... she did?”
“Yes, and I can tell you right now that that story was a lie. You and I both know that she would never say anything that would be insulting in the slightest. Even if she did, we all know that you have thick enough skin to take an insult.” Luna continued to stare right through Celestia. “What happened really?”
She closed her eyes and looked away. “I—”
Luna grabbed her head with a hoof, forcing Celestia to look into those blue eyes of hers. “Do not lie to me.”
Celestia matched her sister's gaze, trying to calculate what the best course of action would be in this situation. Luna's glare was horribly telling, but the light in the room was still as dark as night so her features were obscured. If Celestia wanted to, it would be entirely possible for her to make up a simple story of misunderstood words and her sister would probably buy it. Just let her emotions from the entire experience take over again, let a few tears fall from her eyes and just blubber about how Celestia was reminded of the time she had to send Luna to the moon or something. Luna would buy it.
She had her mouth half open before she stopped. Was she about to lie to Luna about something like this? Not only that, was she about to lie to her sister using what was undoubtedly the most damning scar in her history? That is what she, the Sun Princess, had been reduced to? Taking out her pain on others, then shifting the blame onto Pinkie? Was she really treating this like some political wheel and deal?
Celestia gulped, looking at the cushion between the two of them. Slowly, she trailed the tip of her hoof across the velvet, drawing random designs. Before she could finish her flower drawing, her hoof was covered by deep blue, stopping her motions. She never looked up, but she could feel the soft smile that Luna now wore. “Celestia, it's alright. I will not judge you.”
She nodded. Even with the reassurance, she could feel the heavy thumping of her heart against her chest and the shortness of her breath. “I... I think I might... like Pinkie Pie.”
As soon as the sentence ended, Luna let out an amused snort. Looking back up, Celestia sent the sharpest daggers at Luna. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Luna sputtered out, giggling all the while. “It is just... of course you like her. Everypony likes her. She is a nice pony and everything. A little on the energetic side for my own tastes, but very much likable.”
“No no no.” For a moment, the urge to slap her sister across the face was an intriguing one. “I mean that I... well...”
“Oooooh” Luna let out, her laughter drying up. “Well, umm, congratulations? I am confused on how this is a negative.”
“But I... just... can't.”
“You cannot?” Luna scrunched her brow as Celestia shook her head. “And... why not? I do not recall any law that would forbid or restrict you from engaging in romance, binding in matrimony, or any other activity I might have missed. Even if there was, give me five minutes and I shall make sure to change it myself.”
Her head sunk to the pillow beside her and she whispered, “Lemon Drop.”
“Lemon Drop? Oh! Lemon Drop! Hmm... Lemon Drop...” Luna whispered to herself, tapping a forehoof to her chin. “I've heard that name before... that's the name... of... your last love?”
Celestia slowly nodded. “My only love.”
“Is Pinkie that similar to Lemon Drop?”
“No, she is not.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “In fact, I dare say she was more similar to Twilight than anypony else I know.”
Luna rested her head on the pillow next to Celestia and said, “Alright. I still do not understand. What is the problem?”
Celestia rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “It is a long story.”
“So?” Luna rolled over next to her, allowing her head to bump into Celestia's. “If I recall correctly, the sun does not rise for about two hours. I have until at least then.”
“Are you sure you want to hear it?” She leaned to the right and rested the side of her head against Luna's. “I'm a bad story teller.”
She felt her Sister shrug. “I have heard griffins tell stories. I shall survive.”
Sighing to herself, she thought back to those memories. She gave herself a minute to gather her thoughts, then started. “Well... it was about five hundred years ago. It was autumn, I think. I met Lemon Drop when she was nothing but an aide charged with tidying up my bedchamber. It was on the anniversary of our... well...”
“Argument,” Luna offered.
She nodded. “Yes, our argument. I was going to spend it as I normally did: in my room, simply thinking and hoping you were doing well. That year, though, was a very tense year. Saddle Arabia's civil war was spilling over into Equestria and threatening to draw us into it, the Griffin Provinces were demanding we give them provisions to help them with their poor harvest or they would have to resort to force, the Buffalo Tribes were causing a lot of violence in our border towns, and the dragon Mesarth decided that Los Pegasus was part of his domain and we should cede it to him. I was a complete disaster, sobbing like...” Celestia shrugged, “...like I am now, I guess.
“Anyway, so I'm sobbing, and she comes into my room with a plate of sweets. I tell her to leave, but she doesn't. Instead, she just walks in, sets the tray down, lays in the bed with me, and lets me sob into her coat. We were there the entire night together, or at least until I fell asleep. I don't think she said a single thing the entire time. The next morning she was gone, but I had to know who she was. I eventually found out later that week, and... well... one thing led to another, and two years later, we were saying our vows. Needless to say, we never had foals, but that didn't matter too much to us. In fact, it was she that decided to found the Celestia School for Gifted Unicorns. She said that they were all our children.”
Smiling wider, she continued. “There was this one time, the two of us were going on a trip to the Buffalo Tribes out west to see to formalizing our treaty with them. We were taking an airship, which at that time was completely new technology. Now Lemon Drop, the dear, was probably the most curious pony that I could imagine knowing. More so than Twilight even. Well, she wanted to know how this thing worked, so she goes below deck and starts fiddling with the boilers and such.”
“Oh dear,” Luna whispered. “What happened?”
“Well... she wasn't entirely satisfied with just looking at the outside of all the pipes and engines. She wanted to know how the things worked on the inside. Of course, she also didn't want to bother anypony with her little questions. So instead of asking for help, she starts messing with the steam pipes and everything, and... well... she accidentally closed a valve that is supposed to remain open at all times. Well, that night, when we were all having dinner in the galley, there was a large bang from below deck. Apparently, every single boiler exploded.”
Luna smiled. “Every single one?”
“Well, I think every one. At the very least, enough so that the airship had to make a nice, hard landing in the middle of the desert. Damage was completely irreparable. To her credit, Lemon fessed up to the entire thing, though I think the only reason she did was because she knew that there wasn't anything anypony could do to her. I mean, I don't think anypony on that ship was dumb enough in anger to try and do anything to a princess! Fortunately, we were already nearly there anyway, but we still had to walk through the desert, deal with the meeting, and then walk all the way back. A trip that was supposed to take a week ended up taking three months because of a simple turn of a wheel.”
“Wow,” Luna whispered. “Crazy.”
“Yeah.” Celestia sighed, her smile faltering. “But those good times did not last forever. As the years went by, she started to move slower, take longer to learn things, and her magic grew weaker. We both saw and knew it, but we decided to just live out life to the best that we could together. She refused to have it any other way, for even then she still had many years. Yet, like all ponies, eventually... she...”
She felt a forehoof wrap around her shoulders. Shuddering at the touch, Celestia leaned into Luna and buried her face into her sister's chest. “I miss her so much Lulu. I can't... I can't go through that again. It... it killed a part of me. I... I just can't.”
“I see,” Luna replied, gently stroking a hoof through Celestia's mane. Celestia didn't let her tears fall this time. Instead, she simply shuddered in the comfort of her sister, relishing the contact that she desperately needed. “So, that's it?”
Celestia's heart fell. “What?”
Her sister continued to stroke her mane. “Your love life. You decided that forsaking romance in its entirety is the most optimal choice to live out your eons.”
“Yes! No! I don't know!” Pulling away from her sister, she looked straight into her eyes. “Luna, I... what should I do?”
“To be honest, I do not know for certain.” Luna rolled over to her hooves and stood—an action that drew a whimper from Celestia. Luna made her way over to the doorway, placing a hoof on the latch. “There are many questions and considerations to think about, but I cannot help you with them.”
Her sister opened the door, revealing Pinkie Pie.
“I believe you two need to discuss... many things. Oh, and please do not chastise her for listening in. I instructed her to do so.”
Those instructions provided, her sister let Pinkie stride into the room, removed herself, and closed the door. Celestia could barely bring herself to watch the pony at the door. Pinkie was shaking like a leaf barely attached to its tree. Whether that tremble was from depression, fear, or a mixture of both, Celestia was not certain. What she was certain of was that Pinkie was making her way toward the bed right this very second and Celestia herself was trembling in utter terror. Wordlessly, Pinkie's hooves let soft taps echo against the floor. She could hear Pinkie's speedy breaths alongside her own. Celestia wanted to look away, but some force greater than her own kept her eyes on the mare.
“Princess Celestia,” Pinkie whispered, pausing to gulp. “I... I'm sorry that I spied on you. I know that Princess Luna said for me to, but... I still feel wrong about it.”
“It is alright, Pinkie Pie,” she replied, her eyes frozen on Pinkie's face.
“Still, I shouldn't have been a mean spy pony.” The tapping from before continued, even with Pinkie not moving forward any more. It was only after a few seconds did Celestia realize that Pinkie was nearly dancing in place. It was not a happy dance. “I'm... I'm also super sorry for being a super jerk face.”
“No, Pinkie,” Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. “You were not the one that was being unfair. I acted very harshly to you earlier. Too harshly.”
“It's okay, Princess.” Pinkie's tapping stopped. “I... I get pretty cray-cray when I get super super happy and I don't think at all before I act. I mean, I sometimes forget that you're so... um... so...”
She smirked. “Old?”
Pinkie gasped. “I would never call anypony old! Especially to their face!”
“Wise decision.” She shook her head once more and forced out a single giggle. After that, the room grew quiet—the sole exception being the constant tapping of Pinkie Pie's hoof. Celestia still kept her eyes closed, not willing to try and figure out what Pinkie might be thinking, for she was much too worried about the mare finding out what she herself was thinking. Even if this wasn't a chess-match or a political deal, the tension was just as strong and the stakes even higher.
“Anyway,” Pinkie suddenly said, breaking the stalemate between the two. “I know you... umm... still love Lemon Drop, and I don't wanna trample on top of that. Like I said before, I'm sorry. I'll... I'll make sure I'm gone before—”
“Pinkie.” Celestia finally opened her eyes, letting her gaze fall upon the backside of Pinkie—the mare turning around just recently to face the door. “I... wait.”
She stopped, turning her head around. This time, when the mare spoke, there was a distinct quiver in her voice. “Y... Yes?”
“I don't...” Celestia trailed off, butterflies in her stomach ramming in all directions, refusing to allow her any time to stop and think about the right words she needed to say. Taking a deep breath to try and steady both her stomach and her beating heart, she tried again. “I... you're right, Pinkie Pie. I still love Lemon Drop, more than anything. But I... I think I like you too... I think.”
Pinkie slowly turned all the way back around, facing Celestia fully. “You... you do?”
“I think so. I mean, I like you, but I still love Lemon. It's complicated, weird, I have no idea what I'm saying, and it's completely unfair to you.” Celestia sniffed, wiping her nose. “I am making no sense at all, I know, but what I—”
“Hey,” Pinkie whispered, closing the gap between the two. Like trying to touch a fire, the pony reached out carefully and, with the lightest touch, laid her hoof on Celestia's cheek. “I think I understand what you are trying to say. Maybe. Just let Pinkie know what you want.”
She leaned into the welcome hoof. “I think I want to... try this. Maybe.”
“You sure?”
Celestia placed a hoof on top of Pinkie's and nodded. “Yes. I am certain. But... I am going to need to take this slow. Really... really slow. Are you... okay with that?”
“I can do that.” Pinkie immediately said as she nodded. However, after a few seconds, she stopped nodding and looked away. “Well... actually... I'm really really not the slow type of pony, but I'm going to try my hardest!”
Celestia leaned into the pink hoof more. “That is all I can ask for, Pinkie.”
Nodding her head, Pinkie whispered, “So... what do we do now?”
“What now indeed,” she thought to herself. What would a normal couple do after getting together? Should they kiss each other? Should they cuddle together? Heck, were the two of them even a couple at all? She did say that they were taking it slow, so maybe a few of those assumptions on what a normal couple would do now were not true. Yet, saying that the two of them were together only brought up a whole new slew of questions. Like, how slow was too slow? With so many thoughts going through her mind, it was only the beautiful sight of Pinkie's face—the single candle flickering its dim light across her features—that kept her true.
Her brain failing her, she decided to throw out everything and just go with what she desperately wanted most. Grinning, Celestia lit her horn and picked Pinkie up off of the ground. Even though Pinkie waved her legs around in her struggle, Celestia was undeterred in bringing Pinkie around the room. Carefully, she placed Pinkie at the far side of the bed—the only area not entirely soaked from her—and stood over her. With Pinkie on her back under her, Celestia couldn't help but to let her grin grow even wider.
Blushing furiously as she lay on her back, Pinkie gulped. “Umm... what are you doing?”
Celestia smiled wider. “This.”
Her hoof connected to the pink and fuzzy belly, immediately sending a burst of laughter from Pinkie's lips. Celestia laughed herself as she moved her hooves up and down along the stomach, relishing the gleeful noise that was filling the room. Pinkie tried several times to swat away the attacks to allow some respite, but her feeble defense was to no avail. Rubbing her forehooves all along Pinkie's belly, Pinkie was shown no mercy to the horrific torture that Celestia was bringing upon it.
Tears in Pinkie's eyes, she swatted at the hooves again. “Stop! Stop!”
“No,” Celestia replied, her hooves never slowing down as she assaulted the mare.
Celestia heard Pinkie sigh as she snuggled up closer, a smile firmly planted on her face. Feeling the warm body at her side, she pulled her wing tighter, forcing Pinkie to cuddle as tightly as she could with her. The sounds of the mare snoozing at her side was barely audible over the recently reignited fireplace, but signaled Pinkie's slumber nonetheless. The light of the fireplace's flame danced along the two of them, both warming and comforting them in its warm blanket.
Looking at the pink pony that was snuggled up against her, Celestia couldn't help but feel a warm fluttery feeling in her chest. It had been forever since she felt this way toward a pony. Sure, she had those occasional, lust-filled moments of ogling a random stallion or a mare every so often that any adult pony would have, but this was something deeper—something special. It was the warm feeling that reminded her of long ago, right around the time that she first started to get to know Lemon Drop. She didn't know if it was the same exact feeling that she had back then, but she was sure that she liked the fuzzy mood that it put her mind in.
Still, to assume that she was ready to dive headfirst into a relationship would the be gravest error one could make. If anything, she was the pony least ready to devote herself to a romance in all of history. Celestia couldn't bear to turn away from her past and what she had done back then, but she also couldn't bear to think about what she would do if Pinkie were to up and leave, leaving her all alone again. She couldn't love two ponies... could she?
Looking down at the mare under her wing, she knew that she was at least right in her decision to be with Pinkie in the first place. Past that, everything else was a haze. Could going about this relationship in such a slow fashion, especially knowing Pinkie, work at all? What if Pinkie wanted something more from it faster? Could Celestia handle that? So many questions; not many answers.
Celestia looked up at the window in front of her, making herself certain of at least one thing. “I promise Lemon, no matter what, I shall not ever forget you.”
A single snore escaped Pinkie's nose, startling Celestia out of her thoughts and drawing her attention back down. Pinkie was sleeping with a tiny grin on her face—a grin the mare almost always wore. With every breath, the bubblegum mane bounced. Celestia could barely make out Pinkie's eyes darting under her eyelids, most assuredly having a magical journey in Luna's Dreamscape.
The sun princess smiled. “But... I think... I think you'd be happy for me.” Snuggling deeper with the mare by her side, she closed her eyes and smiled. “Happy for us.”