Regarding Falling Villains

by naturalbornderpy


Chapter 14: Regarding Thin Bridges, Services, and Soft Bits

REGARDING NECESSARY INFORMATION

 

“How much does Discord mean to you, Fluttershy?”
                
I hadn’t meant to come across so direct to her, but I knew of no better source for answers. I only hoped the invite of tea would be enough to coax out some valuable information. Next came the hard part—dancing around my uncharitable motives.
                
Fluttershy sipped her hot drink with lemon wedge. “I would consider him one of my dearest friends, Sombra. I know from time to time he can be a little rough around the edges, but I’ve seen his good side enough to know the real him. He only needs to be nudged in the right direction every now and then.”
                
It had been four days since my abrupt mid-night swim and the draconequus hadn’t made a single appearance around town. I had a suspicion I was still being watched from a distance, although each bush I searched yielded nothing but twigs. I knew he would return. It was only a matter of time.
                
And I knew I had to be ready.
                
I asked her softly, “Would the rest of your pals consider Discord a friend, then? A true, true friend, as I believe the saying around here goes?”
                
At that, she gripped her cup close to her chest and stared at the table. She could have lied right to my face in that moment, but the unmistakable truth was clear on her. “I would hope so…” she started softly, “I mean, not as good of friends as the six of us, but I think so. He’s just not always the warmest of friend, as often as I think he could be.”
                
Attempted murderer? I thought bitterly. You don’t say?
                
I ran my hoof around the edge of my mug and asked casually, “Say Discord disappeared for a while. How badly do you think the six of you would miss him?”
                
Fluttershy would remain the odd pony out; every one of her friends, I believed, would more than welcome the sudden vanishing of Discord. No hearts would be broken and in need of mending. Fluttershy would be a different story. She would worry and she would cry. She would beg for us to look for him—the same thing she had done for me. It would pain me to see her in such a state, but I would only be doing what was best for everyone. I was sure they’d all understand when it was over. I’d only need to remind myself to buy Fluttershy a cupcake or the like when I broke to them the news: that Discord had spontaneously combusted when he tried to sneeze and belch at the same time. (I was sure something better would come to me before the grand event.)
                
Fluttershy came away from the table to meet my eyes. “Why would you ask me something like that?”
                
“I’m only musing, Fluttershy. I heard he’s not the most dependable of types, so in the large unlikelihood he should decide to depart for a time, I was only wondering how you would feel. I would also be curious to know how you’d all feel should I go away suddenly.”
                
I had learned of Fluttershy’s legendary stare only a few days after I’d arrived, when she coaxed a wayward forest animal from her home. I think I must have been getting something close to that, as most of the gentleness left her eyes and was replaced by a solid, unforgiving wall. Too bad no type of hypnosis had ever worked on me.
                
She asked openly, “Are you planning on doing something to Discord, Sombra? It’s obvious you two haven’t gotten along all that much, but I don’t want you two fighting for no reason. That’s just mean-spirited. You’re a far better pony than to do something like that.”
                
I wanted to tell her there was a good difference between mean-spirited and justified, yet held my tongue. Already I knew I had said too much and in all the wrong ways. I had never been the most restrained of speakers—I’d rather get to the core of the problem as hastily as could be.
                
I smiled at her. “Of course not, Fluttershy. I’m only concerned, is all. He’s hasn’t been around for a few days and I’m getting worried, same as you. I can only imagine in time, him and I will become the closest of pals. I mean… I can’t hang around with mares all the time, can I?”
                
She giggled, and the tension seeped from the room. “Somehow, Spike does.”
                
“Who?”
 

REGARDING THIN BRIDGES

 

The first evening I spent with Twilight was not some intimate encounter as I’m sure you were coming to expect, but rather a droll evening at Fluttershy’s alongside the rest of her friends. They chatted about their daily goings-on while I spent most of my time weaving in-between the kitchen and the living room. I made them all hot chocolate (third attempt that night—the only batch that didn’t have sludgy, floating chunks at the top) and without hesitation they drank. No fear of animal parts or foal tears in the slightest.
                
A small dragon by the name of Spike accompanied Twilight, and the second he entered the house I was tempted to kick him back out. Needless to say, I was a tad nervous around dragons. And wasn’t there still a chance this little reptile could be a draconequus in disguise? Apparently not. Although my feelings on dragons as a whole hardly wavered that night due to my brief conversations with Spike; I think it must be in their blood to at least be somewhat annoying.
                
Twilight sat in the middle of her friends—I welcomed the sight openly. I hadn’t meant to divide them like I had when I first entered town, but the sight of the six of them together again—along with the bright smile on Twilight’s face—made me feel much warmer than I had any right to be sitting by myself in the corner.
                
After each friend asked the rest what they wanted to do that night, Pinkie Pie made the decision for them. Since she had haphazardly stored a board game in her mane, she yanked it out to plop on the table. I had stopped trying to understand her chokehold on physics days ago, and my mental wellbeing thanked me for it.

Spike the Less Annoying Dragon joined in soon after and I, too, was invited to play. I had never heard of the game, much less its rules, so I opted to spend my time watching and sipping my drink. It was a decision I don’t regret. From the best seat in the room, I could see Twilight Sparkle as she returned to her former self, and all I wanted to do was watch.

The next morning, I went to Twilight’s castle without a worry in my mind. She had invited me over the previous evening and I had readily accepted. This was new, I thought. This was something in the right direction. I should have known things never shifted entirely in my favor.

“Sombra, I don’t mean to be so blunt, but you’re lazy.”

I had hardly stepped a single hoof inside the lavish castle, taking in each small decoration and design (along with all the oddly empty bookshelves), before she intercepted me with a quill and scroll. My morning’s original oatmeal had already been replaced by something sour.

“What?”

Twilight flipped a page and scanned a list. “Ever since you left Canterlot, all you’ve done is crash on Fluttershy couch and mope about. I know you’ve tried to help, but… so far, I’d hardly consider what you’ve done helping. But I think that’s only because no one’s given you the chance to not screw it up. So on that front, I’ll be helping you. I know you haven’t been fully reformed, as of yet—”

“Oh, please don’t make me go back to group!” I interrupted. “They make me talk… about feelings! And I’ve found much better cookies since I’ve left.”

She patted my head like a child. “I wouldn’t waste your time or theirs, Sombra. Plus I don’t think you’d gain anything by attending again. No, what I’m suggesting…” She paused. “Actually, that’s not right. What I’m forcing you to do is something called community service.”

I frowned. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Of course you don’t,” she said pleasantly. “From what I’ve heard, you don’t know a lot about the new world you’re living in, but that’s something we’ll get to later. Community service is when you help the ponies and the area around you.”

I frowned harder. “But, Twilight, that’s what I’ve been doing this whole time! It’s not my fault if no one requests my assistance after I’ve so graciously offered it!”
                
Twilight rolled her eyes and scanned her scroll again. “This time, I’ll make sure you don’t muck it up. I believe your heart’s in the right place, only perhaps… just not your head.”
                
I couldn’t frown any harder. “That hurts, Twilight.”
                
“That’s good, Sombra. That means we’re making progress. It also means you won’t forget my words anytime soon.” With far too much glee, she unfurled the rest of her paper to tumble to the floor. Dozens and dozens of lines with check boxes coated the thin monstrosity with abnormally exacting neatness. “Here’s a short list of helpful activities you can do around town. No more sitting and bugging my friends, and no more moping around while trading taunts with Discord. If you truly want to be my friend again, you’ll help out the town I live in.”
                
I stared at her list with rising dismay. Then I said the biggest insult I could think of. “Twilight, I hope you know you’re starting to remind me an awful lot of Celestia.”
                
She smiled at that. “Good. She was my teacher, after all. I’m sure by now more than a few things should have rubbed off. But don’t be such a sulk, Sombra. Lists can be fun!”
                
I told her, “Writing lists can be fun. Doing them… not so much.” It was then that a thought came to me. “You briefly mentioned Discord, Twilight. I had been meaning to ask Fluttershy something, but I doubt she’d want to tell me.” I licked my dry lips and came closer to her. “How did you and all your friends destroy him all those years ago? I only ask because it sounds like such an interesting tale.”
                
With her horn, Twilight folded her list and narrowed her eyes at me. I tried to smile in return.
                
She said, “We used the Elements of Harmony to cast him back into stone. Each of us held either a necklace or a crown and using the friendship between us, we were able to defeat him. Since he was perfectly preserved in stone, I wouldn’t use the term ‘destroy,’ either, Sombra. He only had to be stopped before he ruined all of Equestria with his chaos.”
                
I nodded eagerly. “That’s very interesting, Twilight. And where do you store your Elements these days? I can only image they’re gathering dust, since most enemies have vanished in the last little while.”
                
Her apprehension disappeared and she gave me a smirk. Not a good sign. “If I still had them, Sombra, I wouldn’t tell you where they were. They’ve become what you’re standing in now. Once Tirek was returned to Tartarus, the Elements became this place, in a way.” She raised a leg to gesture towards the ceiling. “Not a bad trade, if you asked me.”
                
“Oh…” I couldn’t stop my tacked-on grin from drooping. “Are the Elements the only way to destroy—”
                
“Defeat.”
                
“—defeat a draconequus?”
                
Twilight nodded. “As far as I know, yes. And that’s why we should all be thankful he’s chosen to be friends and not enemies with us.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m not going to ignore the nature of these questions, Sombra. Are you planning on doing something to Discord, right after you promised me you wouldn’t hurt anyone?”
                
It had been the plan, of course. That was before my half-baked notions of killing draconequuses had been crumpled into a ball and flung into the nearest dumpster.

I tried to add some gentleness to my face. “I only ask out of interest, Twilight. You said I needed to be brought up to speed with this new world, so I’m merely asking from a purely academic standpoint. Those who don’t understand history are bound to repeat it, correct? Nothing sinister under this tough exterior.” I grinned and wrapped a leg around her.

She pursed her lips. “I hope so, Sombra. For your sake.”

She levitated a thick text into my chest that fell to the floor. Its title read: “101 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS NEW TIME PERIOD AND YOU!” Underneath the garish name was its author—unsurprisingly: “Twilight Sparkle”.

I poked at the cover as if it would bite. “You wrote me a book?”
                
“I wrote Luna a book,” she corrected, “back when she first returned from her banishment. Since I found it unused in the Canterlot archives, she’d either finished with it or never read it to begin with.”
                
Option B, I guessed.
                
“But since it’s no longer being used, what better pony to give it to than the one-thousand year old sleepy-head living in Ponyville?”
                
I chewed on my tongue. “Thanks?”
                
“No problem.” She shoved the book into my chest along with her slowly unraveling scroll. “Now get busy, Sombra! There’s a lot of work to be done and I expect to hear good things from every pony you help. I will, of course, be grading you on all this.”
                
Once more she had reminded me of the pea-brained ruler known as Celestia. Her lists. Her tasks. Accomplishing what she set out to accomplish. Had I made a mistake? I thought.
                
Then Twilight pulled me in close for a reassuring hug and all dour thoughts evaporated from my head. “I’m sure you’ll do fine, Sombra,” she told me. “Just read the book and try to understand the differences between your time and ours.”
                
She pulled away from me. “And if you ever have trouble deciding what to do, just think: WWNMD.”
                
“What does that mean?” I asked.
                
“What Would Not-Me Do.”
 

REGARDING SERVICES

 

“…this world might seem like a scary and hard to understand place. Customs have changed and so has the art of cumbersome linguistics. No longer are words needed to be shouted forth for ponies to understand—conversations are now regularly held in a soft tone of voice.
                
“You may feel overwhelmed in your newfound surroundings, bearing witness to changes that may or may not make sense given what time period you came from. Yet have no fear, gentle reader! I, Twilight Sparkle, will aid you in your rediscovery of Equestria! Firstly…”
                
I skipped the rest of the introduction along with the author’s notes before flipping the back cover over. Only a single quote was printed near the bottom, from Spike the Less Annoying Dragon. It stated, “I’ve read this book six times now. Not by choice.”
                
Around midday I had crossed off close to a half-dozen objectives on Twilight’s services list. Unlike the scholarly assistance I was prepared to originally give out to the populace due to my vastly higher intellect, most of these tasks were of the physical variety. (And, as I’m sure Twilight’s reasoning went, Sombra-proof.)
                
Already, I had repainted the Apple family barn with help from Eeyup Pony. When the work was near complete (magic does takes a lot of the hassle out of it), I told my friend they should invest their bits in higher-end paint, thus saving them the need to repeat the same menial task.

To this, my friend said, “Nope,” and I knew I had hit a soft spot on the inwardly delicate stallion. I asked if he was all right and he quickly reverted back into his soft spoken shell. “Eeyup,” was all he managed to say.

I patted him on the back. “You feel the advent of newer technology may make your job and thus your position in life irrelevant, don’t you? Due to your close-knit family, you never thought of attaining higher academics, so apple farming naturally became your way of life. And now the prospect of becoming useless and unnecessary fills your soul with worry and dread, which is why you like to tackle most of life’s burdens all on your own.”

A lone tear rolled down his cheek and fell from his quivering jaw. “Eeyup.”

“You don’t need to say anymore, friend,” I told him gently. “I can read you like a book. And to you, this barn represents more than just storage for hay and the like. You look at this barn like a symbol for yourself. Each time you add a new layer to its fading exterior, you interpret it as a new and fresh barrier to hide behind. You don’t want anyone else to glimpse what lies beneath your fragile surface, so that is why only you like to paint it—with as thin a coat as possible each time.”

“Eeyup,” he croaked, and I knew we had made a breakthrough that day.

Eeyup Pony truly was the greatest friend that I knew absolutely nothing about.

Following that analytical encounter, I was invited to speak at the local schoolhouse on behalf of Rarity’s younger sister—the chance to meet a rare figure of history, or so I’d believed. Twilight had already laid out a short speech for me, and without much inflection or enthusiasm, I read it aloud. On the surface, the facts about my Crystal Empire were correct (I never thought of Twilight as the type to skirt away from possible research), but when I got to the “rightful” liberation by the “saviors” known as Celestia and Luna, I had to physically hold my tongue between my teeth until it bled. More than once, I had to remind myself who I was doing this for.

Then came the Q and A:

Foal 1: “Someone said you’re made of chocolate. Is that true?”

Sombra: “Yes.”

Foal 2: “Can I touch your horn?”

Sombra: “No.”

Foal 2 (again): “Can I please touch your horn?”

Sombra: “Quickly.”

Foal 3: “What’s it like to die?”

Sombra: “Stand where I’m standing and you’ll know.”

Foal 4: “Do you eat children?”

Sombra: “Only ones that ask too many questions.”

Foal 5: “Were you the pony that took me inside a candy store and wouldn’t let me leave?”

Sombra: “That’s silly. You’re being silly. Stop being silly.”

Foal 6: “In pictures you have a cape and some metal thing on your head. Why don’t you have those?”

Sombra: “They’re in the shop, right next to my patience.”

Foal 7: “My parents say you’re planning on running for mayor.”

Sombra: “I don’t know what that is, but it’s true.”

Foal 8: “Why don’t you try and take back your old Empire?”

Sombra: “Because I’m sure there’s enough suffering there already under Cadence’s tyranny.”

Foal 8 (again): “What makes you say that?”

Sombra: “From what I understand, she’s the Princess of Love—not taxes. The Empire will undoubtedly go bankrupt within a year, tops. I would hate to inherit such a mess.”
                
Foal 9: “Are you still a bad guy?”
                
I had rather been enjoying the string of questions followed by snide remarks, but this query gave me pause, coming from such a young filly.
                
“I…” I struggled for an answer—not only to be done with my visit, but for my own sake. I had told others I was good, and in the short while since I was set free, I had (if one were to bend the rules a bit) remained good. But was I really? Could I honestly consider myself good while plotting the death of someone labeled reformed?

“I don’t know,” I said eventually, before telling their teacher I was done. Then with more force than necessary, she showed me the door.
 

REGARDING SOFT BITS

 

Tired from that morning’s slog of “forced” assistance, I hurriedly scanned Twilight’s book of acculturation, every few paragraphs finding the need to stop in the street and curse. Things had changed quite a lot since my simple days, and I would say not for the better.
                
A new chapter entitled “Meat Is Bad” had been added to the mix, and I was sure I knew why. The rules in my old Empire were that most ponies stave away from meat. Since I had been the rare exception to the rule, I devoured freshly caught wildlife that I ordered my cooks to prepare just the way I liked it. There was—of course—more than enough to go around to some of my higher ranking officials, but I had always been a rather stingy individual. So that meant it all went to me.
                
If no one had the strength to oppose me, I thought, how could I be overruled?
                
Even with that in mind, I didn’t think everyone went completely vegetarian over the years.
                
Still, thinking of Discord’s tasty goat leg in-between my jaws almost made me whimper on the spot. No more meat. No more tasty blood and fat. An eternity without the simple joys of carnivorous delights. Thoughts like that made me wonder how long I could keep Discord’s carcass out of sight and on ice. Then I giggled in a way that made a few passersby hurry in their step. I thought mischievously, After all, I couldn’t get in trouble if there’s no evidence, could I?
                
I was so damn clever sometimes.
                
That was when I felt an alarming heat burning my back.
                
Closing my book, I wiped the sudden sweat from my brow and shielded my eyes. Before that sudden moment it had been a warm day at best, and now I found myself close to panting from the baking heat. Staring at the sky I finally noted the sun and its newfound location—a lot closer to the earth. And was it still moving closer to the ground, or only towards me?
                
“This can’t be good,” I mumbled, as I heard the ponies around me run in complete opposite directions.
                
“Hello—” was the last word I said in Ponyville that morning.
                
Poof!
                
“—Celestia,” I said to the white alicorn in front of me, her trademark smirk of indifference already sharp around the edges. I sat in her visitor’s chair while she sat pleasantly behind her wide desk; her ever flowing mane almost eating up the entire window behind her. The sudden sight of her caused a wave of unease, yet the cool interior of Canterlot castle helped solidify my resolve.
                
“Hello again, Sombra,” she began. “Having a good morning?”
                
“I was.” I tried to pry whatever information I could from her glare. The fact that I was in front of her told me that this meeting was bad—now the question was how bad. “Behead any non-believers recently?”
                
She ignored my barb. “I’m only curious to know how you’ve been doing since you’ve left, Sombra. I must say, things have been rather quiet around here. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. But now that you’ve relocated to Ponyville, the news of what you’ve been up to has been, I must say, rather dull.”
                
I still didn’t know if a trap was lying somewhere in wait. “As I’ve told others, I’m still figuring things out, Celestia. In the meantime, I’ve grown quite accustomed to the cozy little town. There’s no doubt in my mind you know I’ve been spending a lot of my time with the Elements of Harmony.”
                
“Yes, I know.”
                
“So you must also know that Twilight and I have spoken again—that we are friends once more?” It was so much fun saying those words.
                
“I… know that, too,” she said slowly. “But, truthfully, that’s not why I’ve brought you here.”
                
I tried to remain composed—to smile as though this weren’t an unwanted meeting with the single largest annoyance in Equestria. “Do tell, Celestia.”
                
From a pullout drawer, Celestia levitated a series of glossy papers—clear and colorful pictures filling every inch. How suddenly clear it had become why the Princess of the Sun had wanted to meet with me that day. Now I only wondered how many guards I’d need to kill during my escape out the back.
                
“I’m not sure when these were taken,” she said coolly, “but I’m pretty sure this is my sister Luna and you, fighting in a forest—together, at night, in the rain.” She pointed to a picture with a clearly visible Luna alongside an unfocused me. “At first I thought, ‘Oh, it can’t be him.’ But then I took a look at this one…” she pointed at a clearer one of myself, along with my giveaway horn, “and now I get the oddest feeling that this was you.”
                
I thought calmly, During the day shift, there are two guards outside Celestia’s office and three down the hall. If I dispose of them quickly enough, the rest will still be scrambling up the stairs by the time I jump out a window. With any luck, I’ll only break a single leg on impact.
                
“I hope you’re not thinking of running off, Sombra?”
                
“No.”
                
“Good. So can you explain these pictures for me?”
                
She leaned back in her chair with an expression that told me I was safe for the moment. Until I said something wrong, that was.
                
“Luna and I had a short fight in the rain on a single occasion,” I answered bluntly. “We exchanged taunts and sparred, then said our goodbyes. It was merely an exercise in fun.”
                
She smiled. “I’m sure you both had a lot of fun. Clearly.”
                
With a hoof she pushed forward one last photo—when Luna had kissed me on the cheek.
                
With one leg broken, I could then teleport to Fluttershy’s. She could reset the bone and I could catch a train out of Ponyville. With more luck, Twilight will come visit the new cave I shall forthwith call my home.

“Who gave you these shiny papers, exactly?” I asked meekly.
                
“No one. They were left on my desk this morning.”
                
I will eat your heart last, Discord. As small and tart as I’m sure it will taste.
                
Celestia shook her head, her eyes not leaving mine. “But that’s not what I care about, Sombra. I only care about the wellbeing of my younger sister, who I believe—for reasons unknown to me—has grown attached to you. I can only assume it is due to your shared love of combat and inexperience in this time and place.” She paused, then said thickly, “What are you planning on doing with her, Sombra? I warn you, should you break her heart—”
                
My eyes widened as I felt some strong aura of magic wrap around a very delicate part of me—not loving in the slightest.
                
“—I will not hesitate to rip off each and every one of your softest bits and ensure you live the rest of your immortal life without them.”
                
“Jealous, are we?”
                
She squeezed and I yipped in my seat.
                
“You really are foolish to poke fun at a time like this, Sombra. Tell me what is happening between the two of you.”
                
I sneered. “Nothing is happening, Princess. We had a completely consensual fight in the rain that ended with a kiss—a kiss supplied by your sister and not by me. Truthfully, I have no overwhelming feelings for her.”
                
Celestia leaned across her desk. “And why is that, Sombra? Are you saying Luna’s not good enough for a stallion such as yourself?”
                
I blanched and then choked on my spit. “What! You can’t do that! You can’t just set me up like that, Celestia! That’s not fair! That’s not fair at all!”
                
She smiled, and below me I felt those horrific sensations disappear. “I know, Sombra. I was only trying to get under your skin, as you tried to do to me so many times during your stay here. As happy as I am to hear of your lack of feelings for my sister, what worries me are her continued feelings towards you. The next time you see her… you need to let her down, as gently as you can. She is a wounded soul—the same as you, I would imagine—and more than anything, I don’t want to see her hurt.”
                
Celestia scooted the small pictures to the corner of her desk to dump in the trash. With a more ordinary expression, she turned back to me. “What I said about your ‘soft bits’ being connected to Luna’s heart also goes for what transpires between Twilight Sparkle and you.”
                
My cheeks flushed. “I have no idea what you mean.”
                
“Yes, you do.”
                
Before I could say another word, she teleported me from the room.