“Candy Floss Cannon, fire!”
“Bon Bombs, away!”
Outside her window, Colgate could hear the sounds of candy warfare being waged, the prize being control of the ponies’ wallets and their tastebuds, and she sighed. She could maybe reason with Bon Bon, but dealing with Pinkie required a lot more patience than Colgate had today. And it was often easier to simply let Pinkie Pie tire herself out.
Glancing out of the window of her office in an attempt to distract herself from the business of accounting, Colgate caught sight of Pinkie Pie. The mare was dressed up in full pirate regalia, complete with all manner of items woven and stuck in her mane and under her tricorner hat.
She was pushing around the Party Cannon, occasionally firing it off, and balls of Candy floss, or ‘Cavity-on-a-stick’ as Colgate called it, rained down on the foals to their eternal delight. Pinkie was followed by Rainbow Dash, also in pirate costume, and both Pinkie and Rainbow had giant grins on their faces. Colgate deduced that they’d been getting more sales than Bon Bon, or that they’d been sampling the stock.
There was a knock at Colgate’s door.
“Come in, Minuette,” she said, and the door opened to reveal an almost identical image of Colgate, though minus a decade or so, her mane done up in a bun.
“Miss Colgate? Shouldn’t you be out there?” Minuette waved her hooves in the direction of Mane street, where Pinkie and Bon Bon competed aggressively to see who could cause the most cavities.
“No,” said Colgate, picking up her quill again, “I’m not about to get in between Pinkie Pie and the happiness of her customers.”
“But all that sugar can’t be good for ponies’ teeth!” cried Minuette.
“I know,” said Colgate, “but you haven’t ever tried to stop Pinkie Pie before, have you?”
Minuette shook her head.
“It’s impossible,” said Colgate, “Once that mare decides on something, she tends to not listen to anypony else. And evidently, she’s decided that today, she is going to run around with a cannon full of candy floss and dressed up as a pirate.”
“I see, Miss Colgate,” said Minuette.
“Besides,” said Colgate, “this will actually mean we make more money. Everytime one of the candy shops in town has a sale, everypony rushes to the dentist a few weeks later from tooth pain.”
“That’s surprisingly diabolical of you, Miss Colgate,” said Minuette.
“It’s just a fact, Minuette,” said Colgate, waving her hoof about, “Now, unless there’s anything else?”
“No, Miss Colgate,” said Minuette, ducking back out into the reception area, and shutting the door behind her. Colgate sighed, and absentmindedly began to whistle a tune as she worked on balancing the books for the dental surgery.
“Drink up me hearties, yo ho,” she sung to herself, and then slapped a hoof to her face.
“Dammit, Pinkie Pie,” she muttered.