"So, Weaver, please explain to me, just one more time so I understand, exactly why we have a member of the aristocracy of Unicornia, a warmage no less, and her lover, the stallion who reportedly invented a safe teleport spell, in the basement of the Freehold Chancellery?" The tan stallion wearing chain and plate and armed with a shortspear stood in the door, switching his gaze between Cookie Dough, Celestia and Starswirl. Several other earthponies, including the Chancellor, goggled at Celestia over his shoulder, torn between fascination and abject terror.
"Sure thing, Captain Ironbutt!" Cookie Dough grinned maniacally.
"Ironflank, if you please, Weaver." The powerfully built warrior was rapidly approaching maximum exasperation, but his voice was a study in self-discipline, Celestia noted. "Captain. Iron. Flank."
"But it sounds much funnier that way! Oh, alright. So what were we talking about? Oh yeah! This morning, I picked up some really bad juju jangling up the warp and woof, in the form of eldritch and malign interstellar beings, hungry ones, moving through the loom with the intent of killing Measure Legscye here," she gestured at the seamstress with a dazed look on her face, "for some reason that I don't understand at all but they must be pretty desperate to get her if they risked opening a direct gate, but anyway when I got there she surprised me with a very effective scissor slash and disabled me for a bit and then went out her front door and I followed her and she was talking to P... uh, ponies, these two ponies right here, Equesse Celestia and Starswirl, who apparently had come to rescue her too and I wonder how they knew she would need rescuing and why they'd have an interest but moving right along, I couldn't leave them to get frozen by the Wendigos because they're kind of important but I can't tell you why, Weaver's Prerogative you know, and anyway it would have been really mean of me not to help them so after Celestia healed my wounds I shuttled all three of them with me back to the safe room because I needed to go to a place I knew really well that was far away and secure, and then we got cleaned up and had coffee and cake and oh yeah I ate a whole plate of cookies!" Her mad grin widened.
Celestia marveled that she hadn't needed to breath throughout that entire statement, then regarded Ironflank as he frowned and tried to parse through the massive run-on sentence. "I think I heard Weaver's Prerogative in there someplace, didn't I?"
"You betcha, Captain Ironbutt!"
Ironflank sighed, then turned to address the Chancellor. "Weaver's Prerogative, Chancellor Pudding."
Bread Pudding rolled her green eyes, shaking her straight, coal black mane. "I hate Weaver's Prerogative." The white earth mare wore a grim expression and turned to briefly consult with her fellow politicians, and they took turns glancing at Cookie Dough and Celestia. "I suppose we had better receive them properly then. I beg your pardon, Equesse, but this is highly irregular."
"That is an understatement, Chancellor." Celestia allowed a small smile. She hadn't known many earth ponies personally, but given that they were either farmers or menial laborers in Unicornia, they had a reputation as being simple, stolid and hard-working. It seems that the Freeholders were rather more sophisticated than Princess Platinum's court gave them credit for, insane Weavers aside.
"Please accompany us upstairs, Equesse. It's a bit more comfortable in the Assembly Hall." She smiled, but to Celestia's eye it was a wary smile. All of the earth ponies with the exception of Cookie Dough, had a similar expression, but Ironflank gripped his spear tightly.
These ponies were absolutely terrified of her. Why? She glanced at Starswirl who returned her worried look. "Very well, Chancellor." She walked forward, followed by Starswirl and a confused Measure Legscye, with a pronking Cookie Dough bringing up the rear. She ascended a spiral staircase, ducking her head and twisting her neck in a rather undignified manner, until she got to the landing at top of the stairs. The door was opened and she again ducked to get through the threshold.
She found herself surrounded by a dozen earth pony guards, spears at the ready. They all looked worried, as though they had been expected to fight a bolt of lightning or a raging fire with nothing but their spears. Celestia wasn't worried; her body shield was up. May was well be pleasant about all this. It isn't their fault. "Hello, I'm Celestia."
The guards stared. They were all large, powerful stallions, and she towered over them. She could swear that she heard somepony's knees knocking as the rest of the group filed out behind her. Until Chancellor Bread Pudding came up the stairs, the guards never stopped looking at Celestia.
"Oh, by rock and soil, stand down. It's not like you could actually do anything to her. She's not going to kill anypony," Bread Pudding gave Cookie Dough a hard look, and continued, "I don't think. So break it up."
The sergeant of the guard caught Ironflank's eye, and the captain nodded almost imperceptibly. "Yes, Chancellor. Right you lot, back to your posts. Except you, Broadhoof, you stay with me." An exceptionally large and heavyset reddish pony grunted and stood to the side while the rest trotted back to positions around the large hall, glancing suspiciously at the unicorns as they did so.
"Well now, this is a pretty mess." The Chancellor led them to an oval table where one chair was raised above the others, and turned around to sit it in. "Please sit down. Can I get you something?"
"I think we're all pretty full," Celestia said, taking a seat immediately to the right of Bread Pudding. Starswirl sat next to her as Cookie Dough led the still bewildered Measure Legscye to a seat on the other side and then sat herself, apparently fascinated with the grain of the tabletop.
Starswirl nodded. "I really don't think I could eat another bite. Cookie Dough basically stuffed us full of dessert."
Bread Pudding nodded. "I figured she had, but I wanted to be polite. Anyways... there are a lot of questions here. Where to begin? Ah. What is your interest in Measure Legscye here, and why do you suppose these, ah... Wendigos you say... were after her as well? That isn't a coincidence. Ah, there you are!" A small, slender mare had come running up to the table, bearing several thick books in her saddle bags. "Pretty Smart, I need you to take notes and do some of that advising that you're so good at."
The mare smiled in response to the praise, exposing perfect white teeth, and Celestia realized that she was staring. Beyond all doubt, this was the best looking mare she had ever seen. The lines of her coffee colored flanks and neck were exquisite, and her amber eyes shone like liquid gold. Her auburn mane and long, silky tail almost shimmered in the torch light. She practically glowed with wholesome good health. Even her cutie mark was lovely; a red quill and crystal inkwell rendered in exquisite detail by whatever agency of destiny it was that emblazoned pony flanks. And despite all that, Pretty Smart appeared absolutely unconcerned about her appearance. There was an ink smudge on her perfectly symmetrical face under one eye, and that only seemed to make her all the more endearing. Her hooves looked much as Celestia's had, before she learned of the joy of the hooficure. Her mane and tail were just naturally groomed somehow; the hairs out of place managed to form complementary waves that no stylist ever envisioned.
"Yes, Chancellor, but if you will pardon me for a moment..." Pretty Smart turned to Celestia and performed an elegant curtsy. "Good evening, my lady, and welcome to the Freeholds." She looked up at Celestia, the whites of her eyes showing under the irises in a way that seemed somehow erotically submissive, causing the unicorn to briefly doubt her sexual orientation. "I am Pretty Smart, the Archivist. If you require anything of me, it is yours for the asking." Anything? Celestia, stop, what are you thinking?
"What is all this, Pretty Smart?" barked Bread Pudding. "That's a fine way for an appointed official of the Republic to behave, like you're some kind of bowing peasant!"
Pretty Smart stood and addressed the Chancellor. "Madame Chancellor, it is protocol according to the Treaty of Five Timbers, that the most senior member of the nobility of Unicornia present in a peaceful gathering in the Freeholds be rendered appropriate honors according to the customs of Unicornia by all save for the Head of State."
"That treaty is five hundred years old!" The Chancellor's eyes bugged out in surprise. "What is that, some codicil to part seven, paragraph three or something like that? How could you know that?"
"Oh, just a little research, Chancellor." Pretty Smart allowed herself the indulgence of a small smile without appearing smug. "I would prefer not to risk a diplomatic incident or worse for the sake of a few ceremonial niceties." She returned her gaze to Celestia, and her eyes fell on the torc of Ponyeidus. She blinked in surprise, but said nothing.
"Archivist, I can assure you that such niceties are wasted on me, no matter how gracefully performed. I'm just an apprentice mage, really." Celestia nodded her head and smiled at the beautiful earth pony. "But I thank you for your courtesy." Pretty Smart stood and nodded in return before walking to take a seat beside the still disoriented Measure Legscye.
Starswirl leaned over to Celestia and whispered, "You are blushing, my love." She swallowed but made no comment. Starswirl chuckled softly and sat back.
"Now that the ah, formalities have been observed, Equesse, perhaps you could explain exactly what you were doing going to fetch Measure Legscye at the same time she was being attacked by these... things?" The Chancellor arched her eyebrows and sat back in her chair.
"With all due respect, Chancellor, Measure Legscye is a citizen of Unicornia, and we were within our borders." Celestia leaned back in her chair as well, looking down on the assembly with what she hoped was an air of confidence.
"True, but she's now in the Freehold and as an earth pony, by treaty, she's entitled to the protection of the Republic." The Chancellor glanced over at her archivist, who pursed her full lips thoughtfully, but said nothing.
Starswirl looked at Celestia, who nodded to him, and he spoke. "Chancellor, she has not applied for sanctuary, nor is she a fugitive from justice, so I doubt that would be applicable. And we only knew that she was in some sort of danger; we received some intelligence that there was a threat against her, but that was all we knew."
Bread Pudding sighed. "A pair of wizards rushing to the rescue of a seamstress living in a border town based on some rumor of a threat? Why? Why not leave that to the guards or the constabulary?"
Celestia answered, "She has information, possibly important information. In fact, given the Wendigo incursion, I'd say it may be vitally important. But it isn't the sort of information that we could go around sharing with everypony else. We just wanted to ask her some questions, but it seems like we..." she sighed, "... like I underestimated the danger she was in."
"And is the danger she finds herself in somehow related to something you may have done or said, Equesse?" Pretty Smart raised an eyebrow. Sharp, isn't she!
Celestia lowered her eyes. "Yes. And I am very sorry," she said, looking at Measure, "that I exposed you to danger. I assumed that whatever was to come, I would be able to handle it, and I was wrong. If it wasn't for Cookie Dough, " she nodded in humility, "we'd all be dead now, I should think. Or worse."
"Yeah, pretty much," replied the Weaver with equanimity.
Pretty Smart cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should ask Ms. Legscye if she requires asylum. The terms of the agreement are not that the Unicornian earth pony need be a fugitive from justice, but just that she have a reasonable concern for her safety in Unicornia."
The Chancellor nodded. "Indeed. If she does not, then we have no grounds to interfere with The Equesse questioning her." She turned to look at the seamstress. "Measure Legscye, do you request our protection, or would you prefer to cooperate with Equesse Celestia?"
Measure Legscye looked at Bread Pudding, then Celestia, then the Chancellor again before answering, "It was snowing on the third plane of Tartarus, but it was snowing fireflakes. Isn't that strange?"
The Chancellor stared. "What?"
"Every graph with a minimum degree of three contains a simple cycle whose length is a power of two." Spittle showed on Measure's lip as the Chancellor tilted her head, trying to make sense of the words.
"Hey, that's graph theory!" Cookie Dough looked scandalized. "You peeked! I said no peeking!"
"The stars sang to me and I had to see the music." The seamstress looked at a space about a hundred yards past Cookie Dough's head.
The Weaver sighed. "She's a peeker alright."
"So... I take it that means she's not in any shape to provide us with our information," Starswirl said ruefully as he looked at the mad seamstress with pity in his eyes.
"She'll settle down in a few weeks. Or at least I did, when I first peeked. She'll be fine!" Cookie Dough grinned from ear to ear. "I needed an apprentice anyway."
Pretty Smart scribbled as Bread Putting put her head in her hooves and moaned, "Oh no... not another one!"