//------------------------------// // Plot 3 // Story: Full Moon Prince // by Rated Ponystar //------------------------------// “Oh no! Not a Rump Off! Anything but a Rump Off! I can’t believe this is happening! Shining Armor is doomed! Doomed I tell you!” shouted Spike in a panic. Five seconds were allowed to pass before he turned to Twilight. “Hey, what’s a Rump Off?” Twilight, still stunned like the rest of the crowd, looked at her number one assistant with disbelief. “Spike, didn’t you pay attention to the crash course covering the competitions history I gave you?” “Uhhh, yeah I did. I just don’t remember all of it!” lied Spike, rubbing the back of his neck. In truth, he had only agreed to the history lesson so he could check out research all the included “images.” “A Rump Off can only be declared by a pony who has been judged as Best Butt three times in their life. When they do so, it’s pretty much saying they find the winner unsuitable for the honor and thus challenge them for the title. The trials can be anything and everything as long as a rump is involved. During the two thousand years since its founding, only eleven Rump Offs have been declared.” “Woah, so Shining Armor’s gonna go butt to butt with Princess Luna? Geez.” Shining Armor didn’t even think it was possible to have an entire stadium this quiet. After what had to have been twenty minutes of silence, Celesia cleared her throat. “Sister, you honestly wish to have a Rump Off? As a four time winner of Equestria’s Best Butt, it is your right, but are you sure?” “I am serious, Celestia, but it will not just be a Rump Off, but a Free for all Rump Off!” answered Luna with a joyful cry. Again the crowd gasped, but this time it was followed by a loud yell of excitement. Mares jumped in the air and shouted in unison. “Free for all! Free for all! Free for all!” Some were already glaring at each other or shoving their plots in each other’s faces, shouting about who was more prepared than the rest. Celestia and Cadance glared at Luna who was smirking upon seeing such excitement and demand. “Why not just make it a one on one fight, Aunty Luna?” demanded Cadance. “Why have Shining Armor go against all these odds?!” “I do not care if I lose the Rump Off, but I will not see a non-mare win this contest. Tradition must be upheld!” shouted Luna, stomping her hoof. “Should Shining Armor manage to beat the odds and win then I shall apologize and accept him as our winner. As well as any other male who joins the ranks in the coming years.” “Hey, wait! I didn’t agree to any of this!” shouted Shining Armor, waving his hooves. “What’s a Rump Off? And what do you mean free for all? Celestia sighed. “I apologize, Shining Armor. But Luna has declared that you are unfit to be champion. So she has declared a competition where you and every mare in this stadium will compete against each other to be the true champion. If the judges decide to allow this...” “Which they do...” said what appeared to be male version of his sister but with snake like eyes and angel wings. Seriously, who makes these OC freaks? thought Shining Armor. “... then they will decided the contest that we must all compete in. Even your wife and I,” finished Celestia. “Wait, so I have to fight Cadance?” asked Shining Armor, who looked to the Princess of Love. She was doing her best to look away, but when she looked at him she couldn’t help but give a nervous smile. “Don’t tell me you want to do this?!” “But Shinnnyyy!” pouted Cadance, holding his right forehoof like a child.  “I want to pound everypony’s flank into the moon and win! I love you and all, but tradition....” “What if I just forfeit?! Let whoever else take the contest?!” shouted Shining Armor, gulping at the thought of his overly excited wife who seemed to be... too much into this best butt thing. “That’s not possible, I’m afraid,” said Celestia. “Both you and Luna are required to be in the contest. The rest of us are voluntary, but by the looks of things, many ponies wish to enter your anus.” Shining Armor turned to the crowd and it slowly dawned on him what she really meant. Already small fights were occurring in various locations around the stadium. Mares were tearing each other’s mane’s off or outright punching each other’s face. To his shock, his mother was twirling around, pressing her butt cheeks against attacking mares and launching them into the air. All while his father cowardly positioned himself in a fetal position. Even his sister’s friends weren’t immune to the raging fires of female dominance, as Rainbow Dash was currently crushing Applejack’s face between the pavement and her butt. Fluttershy and Rarity were ripping each other’s tails apart while trying to force the other into a chokehold. The only ones who weren’t affected were Pinkie Pie, who was eating popcorn, and Twilight, who was too busy putting a shield spell over her and Spike to protect them. “I have to face.... all these mares... alone?” asked Shining Armor. All these dangerous, butt obsessed, hyperactive, crazy mares?! Yup, he was officially doomed. *** That night, Shining Armor couldn’t help but stare at the ceiling in the room Celestia had provided for him. In three days time, he was going to go up against every mare in Equestria for the rights to some shameless and stupid title about having the best butt in the nation. With the insanity he had been through, he wondered if they even needed a Spirit of Chaos at all. To make it even worse, every princesses, his own family, and their friends would be competing as well. Even his own wife was entering the competition! Shining Armor would say he was a good fighter sure, damn good in fact, but he wasn't invincible. Add the fact that he knew no butt martial arts styles made him good as gone in the first minute. As if sensing his distress, Cadance wrapped her arm around him and slowly kissed his cheek. “What’s wrong, Shiny? Worried about the Rump Off?” Shining Armor sighed. “Yeah. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. I don’t want to do it! I never even wanted to win! Now I’m just afraid of getting my butt put into a coma.” “Aw, Shiny. Don’t think like that. I’m sure you’ll be fine. After all, besides Aunty Luna’s incredibly rude interruption, you were the winner of the Equestrian Best Butt!” said Cadance with a smile. She soon got on top of him and licked her lips while nuzzling Shining’s nose. “And besides, everypony else might be against you, but I’m not. I’m going to make sure it’s the two of us in the end. After that? Well, we’ll have to go against each other, but either way I’ll make sure not a single part of your tush gets harmed.” “Cadance...” whispered Shining Armor, before leaning up and kissing her. “What did I ever do to deserve you.” Cadance grinned. “Let me show you with some best butt ‘training’, hmm?” Without waiting for a response, she dive right into his mouth. Cadance’s hooves slowly dripped down from his sides to his flanks where she rubbed his cutie marks, making him moan. Licking his ear, she then muttered, “For the next three days and nights your backside is mine.” “I think this is training I’m gonna like,” whispered Shining Armor as he was turned over on his stomach and felt Cadance lay down on him, positioning herself over him as if their genders had been reversed and she was the dominant male. Shining Armor sighed and slowly raised his rump... only to suddenly be bucked off the bed and into a wall without warning. He peeled himself off and shook away the stars spinning around his head, he turned around and stammered, “C-Cadance?!” “That’s Training Sergeant Cadenza to you, maggot!” shouted Cadance, now dressed up as a drill sergeant, bringing back memories of Shining Armor’s boot camp days. “I’m going to put you through hell, private! I will make your butt the most lean, mean, gluteal-muscle-using machine! Now drop on you backside and give me butt ups!” “Butt ups? Don’t you mean Pu-ow!" shouted Shining Armor as he felt a whip smack his cutie mark on the right flank. Lifting her whip menacingly, Cadance growled and shouted with the Royal Canterlot Voice, “NOW! OR I WILL BREAK YOUR FLANK AND MAKE YOU CRAP OUT OF YOUR NOSE!” Without wasting anymore time, Shining Armor got on his butt and held his rear legs up as he flexed his rear muscles to push him up and down. “One, two, three, four...” “Don’t get too comfortable, maggot! We've got plenty of more training for the next three days!” What have I gotten myself into... *** “Beat that sandbag! Left cheek! Right cheek!” shouted Cadance as Shining Armor, rear facing a sandbag, swerved a bit before bumping it with his left butt side. “Imagine the enemy coming right for you! Your butt must be iron! Your tail lightning! Your haunches shields!” All Shining Armor felt like was being the butt, literally, of a great big joke. He had been pounding the sandbag with his rump for over three hours and all he had were rashes. Collapsing onto the floor, he turned to Cadance and said, “This is ridiculous. How can smacking this make me stronger?” Cadance raised an eyebrow before calming walking towards the sandbag. She pressed it with her hoof for a bit before turning around to face it with her own rump. Shining Armor only had a second to blink before he saw his wife raise her backside and slam it into the sandbag so fast it was like watching an arrow fired from a crossbow. Even more amazing was the fact that, upon impact, the sandbag ripped in half! Shining Armor, who had mastered six martial arts himself, felt his black belts all burn in shame at the display. “How... how...” “Told ya,” said Cadance, with a smirk. “The butt must be iron.” *** “Okay, Cadance! I think I’ve had enough! EEP!” shouted Shining Armor, running along the fields outside of Canterlot with a blindfold on. Behind him were dozens of arrows piecing the grass, all of which had barely missed their prime target. Up above, Cadance, riding a chariot pulled by their own personal guards, was readying another arrow. Aiming her bow, Cadance cried out, “Just another five miles and we can stop, honey!” “I swear, Cadance, if this contest doesn’t kill me, you will! OW!” *** Cadance, in a meditative stance, breathed in and out as she cleared her mind of all thoughts. Placed right beneath where she was sitting was a bed of needles, that were on fire, surrounded by cobras, that were slithering near her behind because she had coated them with a special tonic that attracted them. Yet she was able to stay calm and uninjured thanks to perfect meditation. One could not control their body if they could not control their butt? “How are you doing, Shining? Have you found your inner rear?” There was no response. Cadence turned around and opened her eyes. “Honey are you... you... uhh...” Sweat began to drip down her brow. “Sh-Shining? Are you alive?” “... kill me...” “Right... I think that’s enough training. Somepony get a doctor!” *** After three days of  being through hell  training for the Rump Off, Shining Armor stood among his wife and Princess Celestia back on the stage in the arena he had once been praised. Now all the mares were sizing him up, looking like he was fresh meat for the kill. I’m starting to think death from cobra venom would be a better fate then this. “Don’t worry, Shining. We just need to stick to the plan,” whispered his wife, who was smiling at him nervously. “You are going to be the most powerful butt out there I promise. I’m sure the... err… training helped you somewhat." “We’re still sleeping in separate beds for a month after this,” said Shining Armor, deadpan. Cadence grumbled a bit and turned her attention towards the returning judges. “Hey, mind if I hang out with you guys?” asked Spike, appearing from behind them and hopping onto Shining’s back. “Spike? What are you doing here?” asked Shining, turning to the little dragon. “Shouldn’t you be with Twilley?” “Well, I was... but Twilight and the girls decided that they were gonna team up for this Rump Off and Pinkie suggested that they go for a theme...” “A theme?” asked Shining Armor and Cadence at the same time. Before they could ask further an explosion of multiple colors, went off at the top of the stadium, catching everypony’s attention. They all turned around as a catchy and heroic, pop-like song started to play. Smoke from the explosions slowly faded away, revealing six figures struck in kung-fu-like poses. When it was clear, all Shining Armor could do was stare at Twilight and her friends, who were wearing different colored spandex with their cutie marks in the center of their chest. What really sold the whole “Sentai” theme was the biker-like helmets with black visors. The purple one, in the middle, was the first to move, boldly standing up for all to see. “The rear that sparkles as a beacon of hope! Purple Posterior Ranger!” she shouted, showing off her curvy backside thanks to the spandex. “Flying wth awesomeness and sexyness! Blue Buttocks Ranger!” cried out the blue ranger with a familiar rainbow mane poking out of the helmet. She turned around, hovering in the air, and wagged her plot around.   “Graceful. Elegant. And with perfect posture at her back end!” The silver ranger twirled around before striking a pose like a ballerina. “Silver Stern Ranger!” The pink ranger was actually jumping on her butt as she shouted, “A jiggly booty with a happy big heart!” She stopped, turned around and smacked her backside. “Pink Plot Ranger!” The gold looking one, naturally, was nervously looking around, like she was ready to jump up and fly away. “Um, a really cute b-b-b-butt that... s-shares it all-l-l around...” She ‘eeped’ and turned around, hindquarters raised high with her tail out of the way. It was only with luck that she had yellow spandex on to cover anything hidden. “G-Gold Glutes Ranger!” And finally, the red one-reared back and gave a loud cry. “With legs as strong as the earth, and a rump as fierce as they come! Red Rump Ranger!” With their ranger names called out, the six jumped up and flipped in the air before landing not two far from the stage. They turned around as Purple Posterior Ranger stepped forward. “We six mares of six butts shall bring justice to all evil! They all posed one more time as they shouted together, “Backside Sentai Team of Love! Butt Rangers!” before another set of multiple colored explosions appeared behind them. The entire crowd was silent as they stared at the six who still kept in their pose until a voice cried out. “I thought Applejack was orange!” Red Rump Ranger nearly face planted before glaring at Silver Stern Ranger. “Ah told ya ponies would notice!” “Well, when you find a name that starts with O and is used as synonym for butt, then we’ll talk!” Shining Armor lowered his head in disbelief as he felt the last threads of his sanity leave him with a Dear John letter. “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” “What? I happen to like it,” commented Cadence, clapping her hooves. Yup. It’s official. Should have married the bug queen, thought Shining Armor. “Ahem! If we are all quite finished...” Everypony in the stadium turned to the center of the stage where a smirking Luna and Celestia were waiting. Celestia cleared her throat as she spoke into a nearby microphone. “Attention! The judges have decided the terms of the Free For All Rump Off match! Princess Luna, as well as Shining Armor, are required to partake in this match, but any others are free to leave as they see fit.” “So we don’t have to stay?” shouted a voice not to far from the stage. Shining Armor’s eyes widen as he saw that it was his father, waving his hoof right next to a disapproving Twilight Velvet. “No, Night Light. You may leave.” “Yes! Kiss my curvy butt, goodbye you crazy mares! Woo hoo! Freedom!” he shouted as he danced towards the exit. Shining Armor only wished he was joining him. “Anyway, the judges have decided...” The stadium went quiet. “... that the Rump Off shall be...” Shining Armor gulped, sweat beating down his face. “... a good old fashioned, butt kicking...” Cadence licked her chops in anticipation. “... Dodge Junction Steel Cage Elimination Death Match!”