Lunch break at your favorite restaurant, easily one of the most enjoyable times of the day. A chance to gather one's thoughts and recuperate from a busy morning. The opportunity to take in a deep breath, and exhale all your built up stress.
The nicely crafted tables, complemented by matching chairs and red walls, made for the perfect environment. The lighting wasn’t too bright, but wasn’t annoyingly dim either. The menu was a bit lacking in things I would consider eating, but I could always manage to find something that caught my eye.
What quickly drains the joy from this sacred period of the day is a creature most foul. She stands roughly two and a half feet tall, and is covered in light blue fur with a white and dark blue mane and tail. An hour glass is magically branded on her flanks, giving only the vaguest insight as to what her actual occupation is.
"Hello Daniel, this seat taken?" Minuette asked rhetorically as she sat down across from me anyways.
"No, it wasn't. Good to see you too by the way." I replied, I couldn't help but wonder how Celestia managed to smile and keep a level voice all the time in front of those that bugged her. It left me wanting such a skill.
For the last couple of days, Minuette had been constantly bugging me about coming to see her for an appointment, her dental office to be more specific. Each and every time I had come up with an excuse to blow off the unicorn dentist.
"It would be even better if my patients actually showed up for their appointments." Minuette said, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Look, I can't go to the dentist, okay? We've had the same conversation for...I've lost count of how many days it's been." I said, taking another bite of an apple sandwich. Truly, an odd combination, but not that bad actually.
The second I started to chew Minuette's expression changed to one of fascination. Her eyes followed my mouth's motions with unnerving intensity. I was almost convinced this pony had some sort of strange oral fetish. It was a creepy thought, a pony having such a thing.
The reality of it was much less exciting. Minuette simply wanted to be the first to examine the mouth of a being from another world. I would normally be happy to contribute, and be a part of history, but I just couldn't bring myself to be completely relaxed around this unicorn with the truth of my diet.
Images of Minuette standing over me, with plyers suspended by magic, would always fill my mind. I could only imagine how she would freak out once she saw my canines and assumed the worst before I could explain.
"I don't understand why. You need to put whatever's troubling you aside. It's not healthy to go this long without having a checkup." Minuette scolded, scrunching her nose up.
"Ya don't want to go to the dentist?" I heard a young voice ask.
Looking past the blue unicorn I saw three little fillies, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. All three had on little capes, a good indication they were about to embark on a new crusade for their cutie marks, or were returning for lunch.
"Yes girls, I'm afraid our friendly neighborhood human is a bit shy when it comes to appointments. Though I can't imagine why anypony would avoid something beneficial to their health." Minuette replied.
"Wait, so you don't have to go? Is that something that happens when you get older?" Scootaloo asked.
Minuette sighed at the filly's silly, but admittedly depressing, question. No doubt the three weren't too fond of doctors or dentist offices, most kids from Earth weren't, it seemed as though the same applied here.
Despite their dislike for checkups in general, at their age it was imperative they continue to go. Though seeing an adult refuse did little to encourage them, and only gave them an excuse not to go, since I was electing not to. I was no parent, so the line “do as I say not as I do” wouldn’t work here.
I was especially concerned about Scootaloo. She only had Rainbow Dash as a role model, and she wasn't present all the time. I didn't want to be a negative influence on her, which meant there was only one way to truly rectify the current situation.
"Minuette, how does tomorrow sound?" I asked.
"I-I'm sorry?" Minuette asked in disbelief, her ears perking up.
"Tomorrow, is there anything open?" I asked once more.
"O-oh, yes, actually! If you're serious about coming this time." Minuette said excitedly, managing to regain her composure.
"I'm serious, name the time and I'll make it happen." I said, holding my hands up in mock surrender.
"Okay then, tomorrow at ten in the morning. Sound good?" Minuette asked.
Tomorrow I was scheduled for work, but given the odd time of the appointment I could afford to take a day off. Besides, depending on what Minuette ended up doing to my mouth, I might need a day to recuperate.
"I thought you weren't going to the dentist." Sweetie Belle said.
"Things were holding me back." I shrugged.
"We'll see if you're serious or not in the morning." Minuette said, obviously doubtful of my word.
Tomorrow is going to be a really awkward day. I thought to myself as the remaining minutes of my lunch break slowly ticked away.
As I left the restaurant I could hear the pitter-patter of little hooves following me outside. Casting a quick glance over my shoulder I took note of my temporary tag along.
“I’m surprised you three didn’t have school today.” I said.
“School starts back next week, duh.” Scootaloo said.
“Sorry, I don’t really keep up with that sort of thing…how’ve things been?” I asked.
“Mostly the same, we still haven’t found our special talent yet. I’m starting to wonder if there are ponies out there that don’t have special talents.” Scootaloo sighed looking down at the ground.
“I wouldn’t know, humans aren’t born to be naturally good at something by default. We have to learn and adapt to fit in, and become well rounded as individuals. I was good at basketball, gaming, and computers, but only one of those proved useful in terms of having an income. Things come naturally to you guys, where you’ll excel at one or more activities…perhaps your talent isn’t limited to just one.” I said thinking out loud.
“Heh, maybe not. That would be pretty cool to have multiple talents.” Scootaloo said.
I saw Sugar Cube Corner come into view, and was impressed that the tangerine filly had stuck with me for as long as she had. Her company wasn’t unwelcome, but if Rainbow Dash was around I was pretty much chopped liver, which had led me to believe I was simply a fill in. Perhaps I had been a bit quick with my assumption.
The door to Sugar Cube Corner opened, revealing Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. They grinned when they noticed Scootaloo. If memory served, it was little miss Tiara that had helped exposed me to Ponyville ahead of schedule.
“Well, well if it isn’t the blank flank Scootaloo, walking the monster today?” Diamond Tiara asked.
Scootaloo’s wings buzzed in frustration at the derogatory comment. The filly’s face turned red as she glared at the bratty ponies. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt to keep her words held back.
“What’s the matter? You know silence can be mistaken as acknowledgement, right?” Silver Spoon asked, trying to goad Scootaloo into responding.
“You two…” I said gaining their attention. “Tell me, what is it you’re good at?”
“What?” the two bullies asked me in unison.
“Your talents, what are they? The marks don’t make sense.” I said, putting on my best poker face.
“How could you not know what our talents are? It should be obvious at first glance; I guess you’re stupider than they say.” Diamond Tiara snapped.
The way I was raised, if I ever called an adult stupid to their face it usually resulted in a sore bottom, and a week of no videogames. There were some parents who didn’t practice tough love, and those were often the ones I would see on the evening news getting into trouble. It seemed spoiled brats existed in every world, and this one was no exception.
I could feel my own anger rising a little bit, but not to an unmanageable level. I could walk away and not care what became of two spoiled rotten fillies. It was Scootaloo I worried about.
“Since you’re smarter than I am, can you tell me how many pieces of toast you put in a toaster?” I asked, earning confused looks from all parties.
“Only a loser wouldn’t know that. You put two in, duh.” Silver Spoon said as both she and Diamond Tiara broke out into a fit of laughter.
“You don’t put toast in a toaster,” I said, bringing an end to their giggling. “You put bread in it.”
Scootaloo started to snicker at them as their faces reddened. It was her turn to laugh at them as they realized what had just transpired. I couldn’t help but grin a little at their embarrassment at labeling themselves losers.
“Come on Scoots, let’s leave these two to their toast dilemma.” I said continuing on my way, Scootaloo gave a simple nod of agreement and followed after me, leaving the two red faced fillies behind her. It was a small victory, and helped take my mind off tomorrow, for a little while at least.
---
Scootaloo had returned to the clubhouse after her friend reached the post office. She felt guilty she couldn’t stick up for him, but the human seemed to be able to handle himself pretty well. She made a mental note to ask if there were more trick questions he knew of, not that she would ever need them though, but just out of curiosity.
Normally Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were much crueler than today. Their taunts stung far worse than Scootaloo would let the others know, with her friends beside her it was a bit more bearable, but when she was alone it was much worse on the filly.
Scootaloo looked up at the wall they had hung the pictures they had drawn one afternoon. Not every day had to be about crusading, after all. On that particular day, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had drawn pictures of their families.
The only other pony in the picture the tangerine filly had drawn was Rainbow Dash. The mare had taken her under her wing as her little sister, but that only left Scootaloo wanting something more.
Parent teacher conferences were held with both the parent and the filly or colt, or so Scootaloo had been told. Instead of attending a meeting, Miss Cheerilee sent a progress report to the orphanage that was simply scanned over and signed for her to take back.
There was also family appreciation day, just one more activity that Scootaloo felt left out of. She could continue down the list of things that she had missed out on, but the familiar sound of hooves approaching the clubhouse door interrupted her thought process.
She didn't want to appear upset in front of them and put her emotional mask back on. She had to be tough, like Rainbow Dash.
"Sootaloo, are you okay?" Sweetie Belle asked concern evident in the unicorn's voice.
"We heard ya ran inta Diamon Tiara and Silver Spoon. They didn't hurt you did they?" Applebloom asked, following her friend into the clubhouse.
"Me? Nah, they only made themselves look bad," Scootaloo said proudly. "Besides, I wasn't alone so I couldn't really make them eat their words like I wanted to. Luckily Daniel was there to hold me back from letting them have it."
Scootaloo smiled when she saw her friends' relax as she put a bit of a twist on the story. She felt the need to make it sound cooler than it actually was.
Unbeknownst to the three crusaders, Diamond Tiara was eavesdropping on them. The thin walls of the club house did little to muffle the voice of Scootaloo as she excitedly retold her version of the story.
The magenta filly was furious enough from having been humiliated by a stupid, hairless, thinks-he's-so-smart-but-really-isn't, monster. Silver Spoon had ran off, apparently the trick question had messed with her more than Tiara was aware of, no matter.
"So, she thinks she can put me in my place huh? Well, we'll just see about that." Diamond Tiara hissed.
---
"Izzy...let go of me." I said coldly, trapped in a rather awkward hug.
"Shh, only seventeen more seconds." Isabella said.
While I was never opposed to hugs, receiving a random hug from my sister raised questions as to what she might have done while I was gone. She was smarter than most people I knew back home, and could easily kick anyone's bum that pissed her off, but had the heart and mind of a child sometimes.
"What did you break, and where's the body?" I asked.
"I didn't break anything yet, I'm waiting for Oxytocin to be released, hugs are good for you." Isabella replied.
My sister was the only human alive that could succeed in frustrating me, and impressing me with her book knowledge at the same time. I could hardly wait for Twilight to spend a day with her.
"I'm going to pretend I know what you're talking about...it's been seventeen seconds by the way." I said.
I was released from the hug and left alone as Isabella picked up the book she had been reading before I came home. I was pretty impressed by this sudden shift in attitude towards studying. It wasn't exactly her favorite thing to do, but as long as I didn’t have to nag her everything was okay by me, awkward hugs included.
As I walked into the kitchen I was treated to several pictures of anime characters. Upon closer inspection of the paper the characters were drawn on, it was the study guides Twilight had sent.
"Sesshomaru does not belong on the study guides." I said, holding back my urge to shout.
"Lord Sesshomaru." Isabella corrected, not looking up from her book.
"If you're going to deface studying material, at least have a bit more class...seriously what in the great wide land of Equestria prompted you to do this?" I asked.
"Do you have any idea how boring it is sitting inside all day?" Isabella asked.
"You could have walked out." I replied.
"Yes, and let God knows who just wander in, I don't have a key to the house." Isabella said.
"The crime rate in Ponyville is nonexistent, seriously are you worried about somepony looking at the windows funny?" I asked, mocking her.
"Whatever, I'm just ready to get this test over with. I can feel my IQ leaking out my ear holes from the massive levels of boredom." Isabella replied.
I rolled my eyes at the words "ear holes" her inner child was certainly coming out full force today. I needed sleep, it had been a long day and my arm was still a bit stiff. My sister's antics were the last thing I needed to deal with.
After dinner I decided to go straight to bed, I had an uncertain day ahead of me tomorrow and thinking about circumstances like that always kept me up later than I would care to admit. I had hoped that by turning in early enough, I would simply give into exhaustion and pass out, with no such luck.
I couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard I tried, slumber refused to grace my exhausted body and mind. Thoughts of what Minuette might say or do continued to run through my head, denying my brain the rest it longed for.
I didn’t want to think about what might happen if she found a cavity on top of everything else that might occur tomorrow. I was still having difficulty wrapping my head around the idea that a small, colorful equine was going to be poking around inside my mouth.
---
The dental offices of Equestria didn't differ much from those of Earth. They had the same bland color scheme, the same weird clash between ocean, and dental centered paintings, and of course the same small waiting space.
A noticeable difference was the size of the building. Like with most of the buildings in Ponyville, and almost all of Equestria for that matter, they were built with ponies in mind. While some building had adapted to meet the needs of other species, none accounted for interdimensional beings.
"Oh...my gosh." the mare at the reception desk said, looking up as the bell on the door alerted her to my presence. I despised this particular device, since they never failed to collide with me in some way, no matter what building I walked into.
The other four occupants in the room turned to look at me and shrugged. Apparently the struggle to get me to set foot into this building was unknown to them.
"You actually showed up...those fifteen bits are mine." the mare said, smiling ecstatically as I approached the desk. It was comforting, knowing they had taken bets on whether or not I would show up.
"You're welcome?" I said signing in as a clip board was passed to me.
"Hey Minuette, you lost!" the mare shouted down the hallway.
"What!?" came a muffled shout, followed by the rapid clopping of hooves against tiled floor.
Minuette appeared behind the desk, wearing a cute little mask most dentist did when they were working with patients. It looked adorable on a pony, in a strange sort of way.
"I'll be honest, I didn't think you had it in you." Minuette said, as her mask slid itself down her neck to hang limply while not in use.
"I said I'd be here, so are we going to do this?" I asked.
"Yes...in about twenty more minutes. Have a seat please." Minuette said trotting back down the hallway as her mask repositioned itself over her muzzle.
I groaned and looked at the small chairs. This had to be some form of punishment, but it was sit or stand for twenty minutes. It might not sound like a long period of time, but when there's nothing to do, twenty minutes can seem to drag on for a while.
I cautiously sat in one of the chairs, feeling a bit ridiculous seated on the small furniture. I hadn't even seen Minuette yet and already I was beginning to contemplate running with each passing second.
"Daniel?" the mare at the desk called my name.
So much for running. I thought to myself as I stood up, bringing the chair with me. A good push on the arm rest freed me from the chair's evil clutches.
The hallway was the same color as the waiting room, why colorful, miniature horses would pick such a bland color scheme for such facilities was beyond me. If I could change anything about Equestria, this would be one of the things on my list.
"On your left." I heard Minuette say from one of the rooms.
The unicorn was laying out a various utensils and an open note book was resting on the counter across from the dental chair. The chair itself seemed a bit small and Minuette seemed to share my concerns as she shifted her gaze from me, to the chair.
"Sorry, we're not really built to handle...taller clients." Minuette said.
"I'll make do...I hope." I said sitting in the chair nervously.
"Relax, you look like you're about to pass out." the mare said with a laugh.
"Hey, Minuette, what you're about to see, isn't exactly what you're probably expecting. So...just don't scream okay?" I asked.
"Ominous...if you're worried about your mouth don't be. I've seen some bad cases in my day, but if it makes you feel better I promise I won't scream." Minuette replied.
My fear was my own doing really. The night Pinkie Pie had thrown me a welcome party, I had been asked what my diet was. Put on the spot, and with ponies just starting to trust me, I did what any sensible human male would do...I lied my ass off.
Officially, as far as Ponyville was concerned, I was a herbivore. Unofficially, kept within a closely woven circle, I was an omnivore, borderline carnivore. It wasn't exactly the reputation one wanted, and the protein I received from eggs and fish helped keep things in check. Thank God for Fluttershy, though she never did tell me where she got the fish from in the first place.
"Open." Minuette said, as she leaned me back in the seat.
I hesitantly opened my mouth, in such a way that my teeth were still covered by my lips. I was still unsure about what her reaction would be, my heart skipped a beat as I watched whatever the mirror stick is called slide into my mouth, accompanied by some other tool. I honestly could not place a name to the tools at the unicorn's disposal, so mirror stick it was.
"I know you can open wider than that, come on now." Minuette giggled, flipping a large light on. At least one of us was having fun with this, for now.
You asked... I thought to myself, opening my mouth wider.
"W-what?" Minuette stammered, her eyes growing large as I opened my mouth wider.
At first, nothing happened. We both sat there in silence. The clock slowly ticking, indicating the seconds that were being wasted in this awkward state of shock induced silence. I had expected her to scream and run out of the building, this was more manageable.
"Minuette?" I tried gaining her attention, pulling the two floating dental tools out of my mouth before speaking.
"Why did you lie?" Minuette asked, taking off her mask as the door to the room closed itself. The look on her face, coupled with her tone of voice, hurt me a little.
"Because you guys were just starting to trust me, and believe I wasn't some monster out for blood. I'm not, and it was stupid, but I didn't want to screw up everything that Twilight and the others had helped me with." I said.
"So how have you been getting...protein?" Minuette asked nervously, processing what I had just said.
"Eggs mostly, fish from Fluttershy occasionally, and other supplements." I replied quietly.
"Fluttershy's in on this?" Minuette asked in disbelief.
"Yes, as well as Princess Twilight, and Scootaloo...and now, you." I answered.
Minuette grew quiet, unnervingly so. She stared down at the tools she had seemed a bit over enthusiastic about only a few minutes ago. I was expecting this to be the part where she pinned me with her magic and pulled my teeth out one by one, fortunately no such event occurred.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to freak you guys out any more than I already had. I just wanted to fit in, as best I could anyways." I said with a shrug.
Minuette looked up at me, her eyes boring into my soul. Unicorns seemed to have that stare as some sort of secret weapon, along with being able to use magic. It made it difficult to tell what they were thinking or planning.
"Treat me to dinner sometime, and I'll consider forgiving you." Minuette said with a smile, holding her nose up in the air in a playfully, snobby manner.
I could hardly believe what her terms were. Joking or not, I still hadn't considered taking things farther than friendship with anypony. Still, turning her down might not be in my best interest.
"So...dinner huh?" I asked.
“Don’t sweat grapes on me, Casanova,” Minuette teased. “It’d be as friends, I wouldn’t blackmail you into being my date.”
Well, technically you are... I thought to myself.
"We can talk more about that later, it's time to get back to business." Minuette said, as her mask slipped over her muzzle once more.