The Dead Stallion's Hand

by Lord Zalgo


Holey Matrimony

"Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you–." Princess Celestia announced before being cut off.

"Stop!" Twilight yelled from the back of the throne room. Immediately, everypony began to murmur in confusion, however everypony at the front of the room simply watched her with shame on their faces.

"Ugh! Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother? Why does she have to ruin my special day?" Cadence said with annoyance before crying as she asked her second question.

"Because it's not your special day! It's mine!" Cadence yelled from the back of the room, standing beside Twilight. Everypony immediately gasped and looked between the two doppelgangers with confusion.

"What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?" The Cadence in the dress demanded.

"What bridesmaids?" The Cadence beside Twilight asked with a smirk.

"Hmph. Nevermind. But you're still too late." The Cadence in the dress said aggressively.

"A-Ah don't understand. How can there be two of 'em?" Applejack asked, looking to Phoenix, who was standing next to her; only to see him shrug.

"She's a changeling. She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them. And she's not the only one." The Cadence beside Twilight explained as two more ponies appeared from behind the Cadence beside Twilight. Phoenix and Rarity. The room filled with more confusion as ponies looked between the new pair of doppelgangers.

"Indeed, she is. But, I'm afraid you're too late!" A new voice filled the room. Suddenly, a magic-nullifying cage dropped on top of the group of four ponies at the back of the room. Blueblood, Valliere, Clover, Star, Cinnamon and Fen walked from the side of the room and looked down to the entrapped ponies.

"Chrysalis, would you kindly challenge Princess Celestia and kill the bitch?" Blueblood said with an evil smile as he continued to look condescendingly at the ponies in the cage.

"Sorry, partner. But, I don't work with traitors." Chrysalis said as her disguise disappeared in a flash of green flame, which was slightly blocked bar the bars of the cage. Twilight, Rarity and Phoenix's disguises disappeared as well, to reveal three changelings; much to Blueblood's horror. Before he could turn around, he was picked up by the golden aura of Princess Celestia.

"So... What was that about 'killing the lady dog'?" Princess Celestia asked with a slightly scowling expression. Suddenly, Cinnamon prepared his sniper and aimed for the Princess and fired. The bullet stopped a centimetre or two away from Celestia's face, suspended by her magic. However, the distraction allowed Blueblood to escape Celestia's grasp and run from the throne room.

"Coward!" Celestia screamed after him as Valliere, Star and Fen ran after Blueblood, leaving Clover and Cinnamon in the room. Phoenix rushed forward and struck Cinnamon in the face, breaking his visor. Cinnamon staggered greatly from the strike before realising who had hit him.

"Oh, not again." Cinnamon complained before Phoenix's hoof reconnected with his face, knocking him unconscious. Phoenix stopped for a moment before catching a shuriken with his magic, seconds before it would hit his head.

'This shall be an interesting fight.' Clover thought, knowing Phoenix could hear it. Phoenix was surprised for a short moment before joining her in a battle stance.

"FIGHT!" Pinkie shouted as everypony watched in anticipation. Clover made the first move by throwing seven shuriken within a space of time that was less than a few seconds. Phoenix however, responded in kind by launching seven playing cards from his pocket on a direct course for the shuriken. When the projectiles collided, the cards' Darksteel nature allowed them to cut straight through the shuriken and remain on course towards Clover. She however, managed to react and dodge each one with relative ease as they imbedded themselves into the far wall.

'Impressive, but inadequate.' Clover thought.

"You've yet to prove that." Phoenix replied. Clover began to charge forward, causing Phoenix to do the same. Clover lifted her forehoof with the intent to strike Phoenix, only for it to be blocked. Phoenix took this opportunity to strike Clover, however his blow was blocked also. This back-and-forth between them increased in speed with neither combatant letting up for a second or gaining any ground. Suddenly, Clover reached onto her bandolier and threw down a smoke pellet. The momentary distraction it caused allowed her to disappear from sight. Everypony looked around in confusion and slight fear at where she could be. Phoenix remained unmoved as he closed his eyes.

Suddenly, he used his magic to hold Clover from the ceiling where she was hiding and threw her to the ground. She was momentarily overcome with pain before jumping to her hooves and resuming her battle stance.

'I did not predict that. I must say, another commendable feat for you.' Clover thought, the voice of her thoughts sounding a little strained.

"Stop it, you're going to make me blush." Phoenix said sarcastically as he took a stance too. Silence fell throughout the room once more for a moment.

'My tactics match yours. Prediction. Counters. Trickery.' Clover thought, trying to intimidate him.

"True, but your little disappearing tricks won't work on me." Phoenix replied. They charged once more, however, seconds before contact, Phoenix vanished and reappeared behind her. Only to be bucked in the face and sent flying backwards.

'Predictable tactic. Nice try, though.' Clover thought.

"Eh, I thought so." Phoenix said as he spat out a small amount of blood.

"Anypony know who he's talking to?" Rainbow whispered to the rest of the girls.

"Shh!" Applejack replied, fiddling with her mane in worry. The two combatants stared each other down once more before Phoenix vanished again. Clover once again swung her hooves behind her. Only to hit air and nothing more. Suddenly, she felt a damaging blow to her head and back as she was sent stumbling forward. Phoenix deactivated his invisibility and watched her slowly get up with a smirk.

"Not so predictable, huh?" Phoenix said, trying to agitate Clover.

'Wha-what are you?' Clover replied in thought. Phoenix only replied by slowly walking towards her. Suddenly, she pulled out some kind of claw that shot towards Phoenix on a chain. The claw grabbed him and pulled him towards Clover. When he was close enough, she bucked him, sending him flying the other way. She repeated that process twice more before bucking him so hard that the claw released him and he crashed against the wall of the hall, flying right through it. A moment or so passed before the doors opened and Phoenix walked inside and dropped in to his fighting stance again. Covered in several bruises, but still on his hooves.

'Funny. It seems you can take more punishment than you can give.' Clover thought mockingly.

"I'll show you what I can give." Phoenix growled, officially pissed off. Once more, they charged at each other and began to trade blows again. Both of them repeating their previous clash by gaining no ground and not allowing a single strike to hit. Both of them began to sweat (Clover more so) as the fight almost became a blur to everypony. However, as Clover was distracted by Phoenix's hooves, Phoenix levitated the remaining 45 cards from his pocket and made them loom over Clover. Suddenly, he disengaged and began to make them soar towards her at an incredibly fast rate. She did not dodge them, but she did grab two kunai and used them to block the cards. She nearly blocked them all, until a blinding pain filled her system that distracted her enough for the remaining cards to hit her. Smoke rose from Phoenix's gun as the bullet met its mark in Clover's leg. She laid bleeding on the ground, trying to gather her wits and recover, but simply couldn't break through the pain. She watched Phoenix approach, but made no move against him. She didn't have the strength left to do so.

'You... defeated me... I... simply could not best you.' Clover thought in defeat.

"You could have. You just didn't. Had you tried to overwhelm me and caused me to multitask too much and then strike the killing blow; that would have worked. The same strategy I used against you. Perhaps we'll spar again. But, until you rethink your strategies, I don't recommend trying again." Phoenix replied sagely, before kicking her in the face and knocking her out. Silence fell in the room before somepony broke it.

"K.O.!" Pinkie announced happily, causing everypony to cheer.