Twilight Sparkle's Bed is on Your Bed
defender2222
It starts with a ‘krum’.
Not crumb or a krump or a krumkrumkrummykrum even the Drumstrang Seeker Viktor Krum. No, just ‘krum’ that comes from your bedroom.
You’ve never heard of a sound quite like that come from your bedroom before; in fact, you are quite sure you’ve never heard a sound that sounded like ‘krum!’ before. You didn’t even realize there was a sound that sounded like ‘krum’. They certainly hadn’t mentioned it in college during your ‘Weird Sounds You Hear In Your Bedroom’ Class. But there it was, just seconds ago, a ‘krum’. From your bedroom. How odd.
As you walk to your bedroom you begin to think of what you might find there. For most assuredly there must be something in there. What else made the ‘krum’ sound? Yes, yes you are sure that something new is in your bedroom. You’ve always wondered what it would be like to open the door to your bedroom and find something unexpected. It would add a dash of excitement and wonder to your otherwise rather dull existence! Suddenly your steps quicken and you are excited, dreaming of what might lie just beyond the door. It may be a new friend or someone offering to take you on an adventure! A wondrous one at that! Oh, you are so excited now at the thought. Who might be in your bedroom waiting for you? What fun new things might they introduce you to? You must find out, right now!
But just as quickly as the excitement comes, you slow, your steps becoming softer and more careful. It could be something bad. Something terrible. Your hand stops, lying upon the doorknob. A horrid beast could be waiting to gobble you up. A monster that will seek to end your life in the worst possible way. It could even be Little Mick Robins, the escaped gangster that they were reporting about on the news. He could be waiting for you to happily skip into your room and then, when it is too late to go back, too late to return to the safety of your living room, he will punch you and call you ‘smelly’.
That would be horrible.
“No!” you say to yourself. “I will be brave! I will face whatever is in my bedroom! I will begin to use contractions! I mean… I’ll begin using contractions!” Your shoulders square, hips thrust out, your feet turned slightly inward (you really should get a doctor to look at that), you throw open the door and march inside!
And there it is. Twilight Sparkle’s bed… on your bed. Crushing your bed, actually.
Many thoughts run through your head at the sight of this. The first is ‘I didn’t think a bed crushing another bed would make a ‘krum’ sound. A ‘baboom!’ or a ‘cracracracracrunch!’ or even a ‘fraaaamuuu!’ would be expected. But ‘krum’? That doesn’t make any sense! Beds don’t go ‘krum’.’
Your second thought is to wonder if this will ruin your chances of getting your security deposit back.
Your third thought is about how this could have happened. Never mind that somehow a large oak bed with a blue comforter (covered in suns and yellow moons… but no hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons; pots of gold and rainbows and the red balloons) has just suddenly appeared and smashed your bed into little pieces. No, the more pressing question is how did a fictional character’s bed end up on your bed? Did a portal open up and drop it there? Is this some sort of forgotten plague? You don’t remember it going Locust, Frogs and Beds; that’s something you’d remember! Did the bed fairies finally answer one of your letters? No, that’s silly… you know that the last bed fairy died in captivity in 1973.
Your fourth thought is ‘Wow… that’s a really nice bed!’. And it is. Solid frame, top of the line mattress, silk sheets with a 3000 thread count!
When Princess Celestia sets up a home for her most faithful student she doesn’t skimp when it comes to the bed! It’s larger than your bed and looks much more comfortable. Truly this is a bed fit for a king… or a purple pony but they are basically equal to kings… you’re pretty sure the Pony piece in Chess moves like a king.
Your fifth thought is ‘I have a lot of thoughts’.
Your sixth is again about the word ‘krum’. Truly it was not the sound that Twilight’s bed should have made as it crushed yours. It is the type of sound that a bad author would come up with and only belatedly realize that it doesn’t work but it was too late to change now so he was forced to roll with it.
The seventh thought is one of sadness and despair. Your poor, poor bed. Here you are, so focused on the new bed that you’ve completely forgotten about the old. But there it lies, reduced to kindling. You kneel down and weep bitter tears. Your bed deserved better. It should not have ended this way. You’ve enjoyed so many good times together… it was loyal and provided you with such a wonderful rest, day in and day out, never complaining, not once! It stood there and did its duty! It was there for you when you were tired or sick or just didn’t feel like doing anything. You knew every spring and every stitch. Truly, it was the bed for you. You and it had gone through such wonderful times and as you pick up a piece of your poor broken bed you think back to all the moments you spent together Moments like the night before when you had that dream about Fluttershy wearing socks and you began to ram your-
Hmmm.
Perhaps it is good your bed is dead. Dead beds tell no tales.
You lie down on Twilight’s bed and smile. “Yes,” you say, “this will work nicely. You will be my new bed.”
And that’s when Little Mick Robins, who’d been hiding in your closet, leaps out and punches you in the stomach.
“Smelly!” he taunts, running away.