Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed

by Admiral Biscuit


Sonata Dusk Is In Your Bed, Eating Tacos (MythrilMoth)

Sonata Dusk Is In Your Bed, Eating Tacos — MythrilMoth

After another horrible day of customer service work, you return home. You didn't bother to stop and get anything to eat on the way back, having decided it's not worth it. Besides, you have bologna in the fridge...

As you walk through the door, you hear loud crunching and moaning sounds from your bedroom. Frowning, you hurry back, dreading what you might find.

For once, there isn't a pony on your bed.

It's a teenage girl with light blue skin and two-tone blue hair in a ponytail, dressed like a reject from an Eighties girl rebel band.

There's a huge bag of Taco Bell tacos sitting next to her on the bed, which is covered in bits of lettuce, shredded cheese, tomato, beef, taco shell crumbs, and wadded-up taco wrappers.

She looks up at you, mouth full of taco, and fishes a wrapped taco out of the bag on the bed, offering it to you. "Taco?" she mumbles.

...you know what? This one isn't reading your porn, setting fire to your bed, banishing your bed to another dimension, or dead drunk...and also, she's not a pony, but a very cute girl. So...screw it.

"Sure," you say, accepting the taco. "Thanks."

"Sorry about the mess," she says once she swallows. "I just get so into eating tacos...they're just sooo goooooood..." She perks up. "I'm Sonata, by the way! Sonata Dusk."

Name rings a bell...

"You're not a pony," you say.

"Nope! I'm a Siren. Well, I was. Now I'm a teenage girl..." Sonata looks contemplative. "Actually, was I always a teenage girl even when I was a Siren? Oh, except I'm like, really really old even though I look like I'm in high school." She takes another big, crunchy bite of taco. "Sooo gooooood..."

"A Siren?" you ask.

"Uh-huh. I was half-fish, half-pony, or something like that. And I could fly."

Well that makes sense.

"So...what are you doing on my bed, and why are you eating tacos on my bed?"

"I dunno," she says. "Your bed just seemed like a good place to eat tacos." She tilts her head. "You know your bed smells like ponies, right?"

"So I noticed," you say.

"I noticed you have some magazines under your bed with pictures of naked girls," Sonata says. "You know, I don't get it...if humans like looking at each other naked so much, why wear clothes all the time? I mean, I kinda like my clothes, and I get yelled at if I try going out naked, but..." She looks up, tilting her head. "Now that I think about it, the only time I ever really see naked humans is on TV when they're having sex." She unwraps a new taco. "Adagio really likes watching the shows with humans having sex." She giggles and crunches into her new taco.

This conversation is making you uncomfortable for a number of reasons, so you grab another taco out of the bag. There seem to be far more tacos than should be possible...

As the two of you sit, eating tacos and making a huge mess, Sonata keeps babbling on about things that make no sense, or innocently saying things that a girl her age shouldn't be saying. Despite her claims of being a centuries-old half-fish, half-pony, all you see when you look at her is the kind of girl you probably would've wanted to bang when you were in high school.

"You know...this kind of thing usually happens to me on Mondays," you say. "How'd you end up in my bed today?"

Sonata shrugs. "It's Taco Tuesday," she says.

...right. Of course it is.

Sonata suddenly jumps up, jogging in place. "Oh my gosh...where's your bathroom? I gotta go, for realzies!"

You direct Sonata to the bathroom, then set about cleaning up the terrible mess she made on your bed. After an hour, she comes out of the bathroom, staggers back into your bedroom, and collapses on your bed, passing out as soon as her head hits the pillow.

You sigh, cover her up, grab a spare blanket and pillow, and head for the couch. You watch television for a little while with the volume down until sleep claims you.

You reflect on all the myriad reasons you've found yourself here on this couch lately, and decide that one of the least objectionable is the cute girl who gave you her taco.

...until, at around midnight, you need to use the bathroom.

The bathroom was clean when you left the house this morning.

Now, it looks like the bathroom at a greasy truck stop in the middle of nowhere.

"SONATAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"