“So, how are you liking Ponyville?” asked Colgate, as she levitated several dental implements over Twilight Sparkle.
“It’s not bad. Really, I think I’m starting to get used to this place,” said Twilight, as she lay in the dental chair, “I mean, it’s not Canterlot, but it has its own charms.”
“Feeling a little homesick? Open wide.” Colgate levitated a scraper and a small mirror, and began to clean out Twilight’s mouth.
“A little, I guess,” said Twilight, once Colgate stopped cleaning out the back of Twilight’s mouth. “You spend your life growing up in one place, and when you move, you suddenly find you miss a million little things that you never even noticed.”
“I was the same,” said Colgate, going back into Twilight’s mouth with some toothpaste and a brush. “I moved here from Manehatten once I was qualified as a dentist, and I still miss the sound of carriage drivers screaming at each other sometimes. That said, by this point, I think I’ve gotten used to the Flower Trio, you know, Roseluck, Daisy and Lily? I think I’ve gotten used to them running screaming past my window at every minor...”
Colgate was cut off by the three flower sisters in question belting past the window looking out onto the street, screaming at the top of their lungs.
“Like that, really. Hold on a second, Twilight.” Colgate walked over to the open window, and leaned out.
“Would you three not do that while I’m working!?” she bellowed at the retreating flower sellers, and getting a warbling ‘Sorry!’ in return. She turned to look at the other end of the street, to find out what they’d been running from and Colgate sighed, and rubbed her face into the crook of her foreleg.
“Of course,” she muttered, before moving back over to Twilight, and picking up her tools again.
“What is it?” asked Twilight, half rising.
“Nothing major, just Pinkie Pie’s latest sugar monster.”
Twilight blinked. “What do you mean, sugar...”
“Open up, Twilight. I can’t clean your teeth if you talk,” said Colgate, going back in with the toothpaste. As Colgate worked, there was a strangely squishy thud, and outside the window, both Colgate and Twilight saw a giant hoof land. At least, it looked like a hoof.
“Ooh, Hi Twilight!” cried Pinkie Pie, a second later, as she bit into the appendage. “Hi Colgate!”
“What is it this time, Pinkie?” sighed Colgate.
“Marshmallow!” enthused Pinkie, taking another bite.
“One of these days, Pinkie, I am going to get you in here and inspect your teeth, you know that, right?” said Colgate, glaring at the pink pony.
“Whatever you say, Colgate! Bye Twilight! I have a marshmallow monster to eat!” said Pinkie, vanishing after the monster. Twilight blinked.
“So that was...”
“Sometimes, Pinkie Pie creates monsters out of effectively pure sugar. Always accidentally, and she usually manages to eat them before they do any real damage. How that pony still has teeth, I will never know,” said Colgate, “I’ve never managed to actually get her in here for a checkup. Last time, she crawled out through the air vent when I wasn’t looking.”
“But...that’s impossible!” said Twilight, “she shouldn’t be able to create life from just sugar!”
“A lot of things Pinkie Pie does could be classed as impossible, Twilight. Open up,” said Colgate, spraying around Twilight’s mouth with some water to finish cleaning the unicorn’s mouth out. “At least it was only Pinkie Pie’s monster, and not whatever Berry Punch cooks up. You know, she once spiked the central fountain with a mix of vodka and some chemical that ignited on contact with air. Just because she could.”
“Berry Punch?” Twilight asked around the tube in her mouth.
“Chemist. Organic chemist, to be precise. Her talent is winemaking, but she’s got a chemistry lab attached to her shop. Occasionally, she makes weird things in there. Sometimes those things are useful,” said Colgate, “and sometimes they explode. And sometimes, she makes things that really don’t want to exist, so they explode bigger. She’s rebuilt her lab four times, and once blew out every window within about half a kilometer. Trust me, Twilight, a lot of the ponies in this town are a little bit weird. A few are very weird.”
****Time****
Colgate put the last of her implements down.
“Well, I’m done. You can settle with Minuette on the way out. You’ve got some pretty healthy teeth, Twilight. Just keep up the habit of brushing at least twice a day, and watch your sugar intake, and I shouldn’t have to see you for a year or so.”
“Thank you, Colgate. I’ll see you later,” said Twilight, walking out of the room, and Colgate allowed herself a moment of relaxation.
That was when the three flower sisters decided to run past Colgate’s window again, screaming.
“I told you three not to do...that. Oh,” said Colgate, trailing off, as she looked up, and up, and up.
“Hi Colgate!” cried Pinkie Pie, from her position atop a giant Gummy.