Chapter 3 – You and your big mouth [1/3]
“Me and my big mouth”
You find yourself in quite a pickle. It is such a lovely cliché, is it not?
It all started a kilometer or so before you reached the towns’ outskirts that you noticed the clouds getting darker. In which logic dictates it will rain. So with sound reasoning you halt and check your cart for anything that would ‘rainproof’ you. Alas to no surprise your cart did not contain anything of the sort. Unless you would chose to have the bedroll protect you from the rain. And yet again logic dictates. If by any chance you don’t make it to Ponyville before nightfall, you would have to sleep in a soggy bedroll. And in essence would give you a rather uncomfortable night.
And so, your human male instinct suggests to your tan pony body.
‘I’ll just wing it’
And ladies and gentlecolts that is how a cabbage is eaten. Oh wait, that was how you ended up in this pickle. Which is generally a cucumber and you hate cucumbers, for now at least. Or until somepony or otherwise resets your view about those green watery gourds, of perverted EVIL! Anyways, back to the story.
You now find yourself walking up a hill. A very muddy hill, in which in its defense is neither steep nor slippery but a hill nonetheless. Its incline giving you a great view of the darkened grey skies as you work your way up. A couple of minutes ago you decided that rain is harmless. Some animals back on earth have no shelter to protect them. So at the very least you pray ponies here have the same natural tolerances of animals back home. It is also a good thing that the cart has a heavy wool tarpaulin on it. In which saves you the agony of trying to dry out most of your belongings. You would not want to have your documents wet now would you?
But then, you remembered that Princess Luna asked to have you equipped with a poncho. So stopping for a bit under the shade of a tree, you rummage through the cart in search of that poncho.
‘But why does rain have to be so darn cold. Why couldn’t the rain here we warm?’ well it’s just a thought. A new world should mean new things, right? Nope, the laws of physics love to screw with a lot of things no matter what the species or in whatever dimension. ‘Well warm rain could mean that it’s not water...eww’
After a while you find the poncho. You take it up with your hooves and notice something peculiar about it. The drops of rainwater from your mane fell to the poncho and the water instantaneously evaporated. You shrugged and put the poncho on. Noticing that it is quite comfortable fit, it then eerily dried your coat and mane the moment it covered your body. Failing to be bothered by the magical poncho, your thoughts crept back onto the topic at hoof.
‘But then again, if I were a pegasi in mid-flight. It would be logical to make it to the ground. But how about their foals….where would they do their business….hmmm…clouds….’
‘Cloud toilets?’ curious.
As you ponder the mechanics of how do detect pee in warm rain. The hill you just climbed shed some good news. Further ahead in the dreary rain and the muted landscape is salvation. In there lies a town sleeping in the rain. Surrounded by forest and farmland its charm feels welcoming. Many a thatched roof as well as tree houses make up the town….and a giant confectionary!?
‘Ponyville’
With this, your vigor inside is renewed, if only just so. You lay your eyes on the road ahead. It seems that you have a few more hills and the rest of the day to make it. And so with a little self coaxing and reminders of warm rain, you started to move again. A little smirk plastered upon your face as you trotted towards your goal.
‘Thank the heavens! That is the greatest sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on.’ Indeed. Barely three days in Equestria and two days transformed. One would certainly suffer from withdrawals.
‘And the first thing I’ll when I get there…get a donut…with sprinkles…’ a simple pastry with resemblance of human food.
‘no…A really HUGE donut with sprinkles!’ never mind simple as long as it fills you, but how will a donut bigger than you imagine fit into your mouth, huh?
‘And then some pie, oh and some fries, a tall glass of…what do they call it here…oh yeah, a tall glass of sarsaparilla. What else...Screw it.’ You don’t bother thinking about it. Right now you just want to arrive at Ponyville. Remember, priorities first.
After that third hill, you start to wonder. This entire time seemed to easy. Easy that it was barely a challenge aside from the rain. Looking back to what you have seen on the hill.
‘There are four hills, a small cut path through a glade…a bridge and then its town square…’ simple.
Upon realization of the present, nothing actually happened to you, since it started raining. It is just you and a couple of raindrops and trees. The realization is not much of an eye opener but since you have this hunch that your life is being controlled. It would be wise to be on guard.
‘MADE IT!’ you rejoice as you stand now in Ponyville’s town square.
‘I am sure thou will enjoy Ponyville. The town’s denizens make for great company and are very welcoming’ Luna mentioned as you hitched yourself to your cart two days ago.
“Not the welcoming I had in mind” you say noticing the lack of ponies.
‘But then again I am not a celebrity and I should be laying low’
The combination of rain and a town devoid of life makes for a great depressant. It did not falter your spirit though. Taking it up in stride you venture forth into the town. As the moon princess mentioned before anything else, you should head towards town hall to notify of your arrival.
“So that is what I’ll do” yup
“Where is the town hall…?” So, come here often?
So initially, you have been tasked to go to the town hall. But you don’t exactly know where it is, great job! So you take it upon yourself to spend a few more moments in the rain exploring the town. You could refer to your map, sure. But the map is only for plotting destinations. It does not contain the towns’ landmarks or streets. So unsure on how you will proceed, you decide upon going around the town in a circle. It might make for wasting a lot of time but at least it would get you closer to your goal.
As you trotted, you noticed several ponies looking out from the windows of their homes. You spot a house with three flower stands in front of it. And you see three mares looking through one of the houses’ windows. As you turned your head towards it, the ponies behind it suddenly moves out of sight. It is like they are watching you and at the same time scared of you.
“Weird” you mutter before meeting head first into a pole.
*Tonk* 2 points “Ouch!”
You rub your head as you glared at the pole that caused you minor discomfort. Looking from the base to its top, you then noticed it is a street sign. With several signs that point towards certain town landmarks. It also had a sign pointing to the general direction of Town Hall.
‘Painful way to discover things…mental note: no pain good, in pain bad.’ It is an obvious yet important note to remember. But you are glad that you found something significant that would help you out.
With that out of the way, you take note of the direction and trotted up along it. Looking straight up the street, your head help up high due to the ponchos hood covering up your face. You take notice around you. Some of the houses still have the same weird scene. Cautious inhabitant looks out of window then ducks when you look towards their direction. It seems that what Big Macintosh joked about some of the dangers might hold some water.
‘What could traumatize a town like this?’ noticing some debris alongside the street.
As you ponder the multiple scenarios of mass mayhem and chaos, you happen to pass by a few empty houses. And by some freak chance the rain slowed and the wind picked up. Might be a sign of something to come but then again there’s still coincidence. And as coincidence has it, a flyer is picked up by the wind and smacks you in the face. Annoyed you stop peel it off and read it.
‘Notice:
Citizens of Ponyville, due to the recent Cerberus attack. The mauled area of the northwest neighborhood has completed its repairs. Residents who are misplaced may return to their homes. And as an added bonus from the Canterlot Hazard, Housing and Development office, residents that have lost their belongings may file for insurance to replace those that they have lost at the Town Hall inquiry desk.
Another note: Since the Parasprite attack, town planners noticed lot discrepancies after the repair from the previous year. So housing in the north, east and south-east side of the town have spares. Couples who wish to start a family may purchase these empty houses. You can have them empty or fully refurbished at your discretion with discount. Think of this as a gift from Town Hall. I hope to entertain some of your questions if any troubles arise or worries about the housing. And remember; first come first serve basis as usual. We do not want to have another one of those incidents with a panicked doctor caring for those ponies involved in last autumn’s brawl.
Lastly, due to last night’s festivities, the weather team forgot of this morning’s shower. Therefore residents should note of this afternoons shower. It will be heavier than usual to compensate for this morning’s mix up. And to be extra safe, I declare from noon till the morn of the next day to be a holiday. That is to prevent our local merchants from standing all afternoon in the rain. I hate to see our favorite stalls closed the very next day. And that goes to small and medium businesses as well, we do not want our customers falling sick now do we?
Stay safe and stay happy everypony,
Mayor Mare’
The letter ends with the Mayor’s seal placed at the lower right of the flyer.
‘That explains a lot. But at least this tells me are some empty houses for me to take up on. I hope the princesses’ gave me enough bits.’
And with that, you head straight till you see a tall three story loom up ahead. Even better, the rain has finally let up. Although the clouds are somewhat dark, you drop the hood of your poncho, gaining a better look at the building up ahead.
“That must be it” you say to yourself as you stop in front of its façade.
Staring intently, you take your time to admire the building. This world sure loves to give their buildings looking very much formal. Town hall looks to be five stories high and has flags on the fourth floor balcony. The higher floors and its porch seem to have undergone some repair. There is evidence of a new paint job. And a wooden patch on the porch floor that looks to have newer wood than the ones around it. They also seem to have missed a couple of…
‘…Scorch marks?’
No matter. You bring up your cart next to the buildings steps, right below one of its generous overhangs. To prevent your cart from getting drenched if the rain picked up again. So after hitching out of the cart, taking the envelope with your important papers, and placing your poncho under the tarp. You proceed into the building.