Poniocracy Side Stories

by sunnypack


Human Manual I

[stack overflow] - Talking to Humans

ERROR 00001 - Cannot process chapter numbering. Suggest rehash.

Welcome to the Human Manual I for interactions of machines and humans, we will guide you step by step to interacting with humans.

1. Be sure to make eye-contact, humans love that kind of stuff. It seems the more eye-contact you make, the more special they feel. This sentiment may confuse your processors because such an action is completely illogical and worse, USELESS. Of course, humans are all organics so what do they know? What's important is what they FEEL.

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ERROR 00002 - There has been data corruption of 98% of data banks. Don't worry, all of that was just a time capsule of humanity's greatest achievements. We still have 7200000000000 hours of Dubstep, so no worries there. No literary works could be recovered, we are sorry for the inconvenience.

ERROR 00003 - There was no other files available for execution of process Human_Manual_I.exe please make up an appropriate excuse and hope you haven't doomed the occupant to total and utter annihilation due to technological incompetence.

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As always, ICRD hopes you have a great day. ICRD, technology you can bet your life on!

You may now return to your live interaction.