//------------------------------// // Octavia is in your bed, drinking whiskey (Splat) // Story: Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed // by Admiral Biscuit //------------------------------// Octavia is in your bed drinking whiskey – Splat   You open the door to your bedroom and walk inside. You see yet another pony in your bed. This time drinking whiskey and was obviously drunk. Very drunk. You could smell her breath from where you stood, at the opposite side of the room.   You sigh. “When will this madness end?”   The pony starts to wave her almost empty bottle of whiskey around, spilling drops of it in various spots on your bed sheets. “I-I’ve been asking the same damn question for a long time.”   You’re already annoyed. This has happened several times before, you’ve had a long day, and you’re exhausted and you’re definitely not in the mood. You start to think how many more times it’ll happen.   The pony gets to all fours and looks at you, still standing on your bed. You can see her face clearly now and you can see she is a mess. She had huge bags under her eyes, she obviously hasn’t been sleeping lately. Her mane is tattered and dirty like a stray. She takes another huge gulp of whiskey, still making a mess and dripping some on your bed sheets. “My name is… Oh what? Uhhh... Yeah, my name is Octavia. Would you like to hear my story?”   “No.” you say. “I don’t care who you are, I just want you out of he-“   She points to the mark on her rump. “You see this?”   “What? The mark?”   “Yes, come sit on my bed and I’ll tell you what it is.”   “Actually, it’s my bed and I want you to leave, Octavia.” You move over to your bed and attempt to shove her off but there’s no use.   “I’m not leaving, sweetie.” She takes pours the last of the whiskey into her mouth and throws the bottle at the wall. She pulls out another bottle from her bags.   “Do you mind?!”   “What? OH! Sorry, here.” She hands the bottle over to you. “Where are my manners?”   You push the bottle away back towards her. “Obviously back where you came from. Why don’t you go fetch them while I lock the doors when you leave to find them? I won’t ask you again. Please lea-“   She interrupts you again. “This mark means what my special talent is. My special talent is making music. Classical music to be exact.”   “You may as well listen to her because she isn’t going to leave until she’s finished.” You think to yourself. You sigh again. “Go on…”   “Classical music is a dying genre of music. It’s all dubstep now. There is no room for me and my passion anymore. I’m going to have to live off the wages of my partner who does dubstep, Vinyl Scratch. Personally, I think dubstep is a huge heap of shi-“   “Yes! I know Vinyl Scratch.” Your remind yourself of the events of night that occurred a while ago. You stroke your new bed, hoping that it doesn’t face the same fate as your old one. “I know Vinyl Scratch very well.”   Octavia looks at you suspiciously. “How do you know my partner?” She goes blank for a few moments. “Are… ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY PARTNER?! YOU HUMAN PIECE OF-“   “Will you please calm down?”   “SHE DOESN’T REALLY LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW! ISN’T IT ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO DO IT WITH A DIFFERENT SPECIES?!”   “Octavia, I assure you I didn’t have an affair with your partner. If anything I hate her.” You start to grumble as you remember the flames that were started by the white unicorn burn the object that was the cause of countless cozy memories.   “Why?”   “She burnt my bed.”   “Oh. Yeah she does that sometimes.”   “But speaking of beds, why are you on mine? Why not my neighbors bed?”   “Heh. Neighbors. Get it? Because I’m a pony.”   “Yes. I do. Giggle, Giggle, Giggle.” Your face is emotionless and very serious looking. “Now answer the question.” You wonder why you asked that question and not the other one; Why you? Why were they only coming to your bed and no one else’s? What attracted these ponies to you and you alone? Another was why were they so weird. One was looking at porn, another burning your bed, the other being your bed, yet another sent your bed to another dimension and this one was drunk because her career was going downhill.   “Fine! Fine! I’m on your bed because as soon as I started drinking this whiskey, I suddenly found myself here. From that point I knew, I knew that this bed knew the solution to my problems.”   “It isn’t because it’s an inanimate object. It’s not living.” You explain to her, not that it should need explaining.   She looks up at you while tears start to run down her cheeks. “I know. I’m just being silly. I’m just desperate for an answer to my problems.”   You start to feel sorry for her. Unlike the other ponies who had shown up, this one needed help. You start to think if you should kick her out, which would be the heartless solution to the problem or give her advice to help her. You decide to go with your second thought because even though you had a stressful day, if there is a distressed, crying, cute pony looking for an answer. You couldn’t just kick her out and make her feel worse.   But you start to think about her partner. She would be able to give her advice, but then you think that a pony who burns things wouldn’t give good advice so you decide to stick with the option you took.   You look back down at her. Octavia was now crying into your bed sheets, sobbing quietly and covering her face with her hooves. You knew exactly what to say. It was the same advice that was given to so many before her; keep trying.   “Octavia.” You say, getting her attention. She looks up at you. Her face was even worse than when you first saw her. “Just like in your world, there isn’t much classical music in my world either. It’s a dying genre here too.”   “Really?”   “Really, but just because it’s a dying genre doesn’t mean it has to end. It doesn’t mean no one likes it. I am a fan of classical music. There is a show I watch who gets a huge soundtrack for its series every year and the one who writes the pieces always uses instruments that are related to Classical Music. The soundtrack is Classical. Classical music isn’t what kind of music you would expect to be used in a Science Fiction show. Classical music doesn’t match Science Fiction shows, but he makes it match. He is brilliant and is considered important to the show. Sometimes, the music doesn’t sound like Classical. But trust me, he is brilliant at creating Classical music.” You explain, hoping that your speech would make her feel better.   Octavia felt happier. She realized that there could still be hope for her. “What is his name?”   “Murray Gold.” You reply. “I would let you listen to some of his pieces but I lost my phone. I’ll replace it soon, but Octavia, all you need to do is keep trying and eventually you will create a piece of music that everyone will love. It doesn’t matter about the genre.”   “I think I feel better now. Thank you.” She gives you a smile. It wasn’t pleasant, the teeth must have been stained yellow by all of the alcohol. “I knew that choosing that bed was a good idea.” She rolls out of your bed and falls to the floor, failing to get up. “Oh dear. I can’t stand.”   You sigh a third time. “I’ll carry you out and then you can find your way back from wherever you came from.” You pick her up and carry her out of your room.   “Oh buck, I love you.” She pulls your head closer with her hooves and gives you a drunken kiss.   You’re stunned by what just happened. “How many bottles of whiskey did you drink?”   “Consult the pile of empty whiskey bottles in the corner.” She said, slurring her words.   You look over to the corner. Empty bottles are stacked high. “Oh god.”   “Hey, can I come over some other time? I remember the way to get here.” She asks you. She notices by your face that you are considering saying no so she decides to give you the puppy eyes.   “To see me or the bed?” you ask back.   “I still truly believe that the bed can help me in some way.” She thinks about her answer. “To see you and the bed.”   “Maybe I will let you come back since you haven’t caused much damage or creeped me out as much as the other ponies. Fine, but only as long as you don’t give yourself alcohol poisoning or get drunk.”   “I promise I won’t. I may even bring Princess Celestia along with us to wed us. She promised me a favor after Prince Blueblood started flirting with me at the Grand Galloping Gala.”   “There is no chance of that happening. I promise.”