//------------------------------// // Episode 53: FILLYDELPHIA FREE-FOR-ALL! The True Hooded Offender Vs. Fanatics Vs. Shields! (Die Horde Part 5) // Story: The Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 2: Debt to a Doctor (Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// For the sake of coolness, todays theme song is... As you and the guards surrounding the stadium face off against each other, the head unicorn on the scene suddenly says, "What are you waiting for? It's Hearth's Warming Eve. Take him to church!" On cue, the Royal Guard charges in at you and as you draw the staff from the Inventory you think, Why didn't I think of that line? You and the guards (which looks like at least a small battalion) stand there in front of the stadium facing each other down; your eyes glowing orange, the newsponies jotting things down in their notepads, taking pictures, and muttering things (you swore you heard one mutter something about "the mayor declaring a state of emergency"), and a few of the Royal Guard start to look around nervously due to the lack of any movement. The tense silence is broken when a pegasus Guard (probably an officer) declares, "What are you waiting for? It's Hearth's Warming Eve. Take him to church!" Their morale emboldened by this declaration, the Royal Guards all charge at you. As you draw the staff from the Inventory, all you can think is, That line was awesome! Why didn't I think of it? And with that you slam your staff into the ground, sending a shockwave away from you that sends the guards in front (and a few parked carriages) flying and the remaining guards stop in their tracks in charge. You twirl your staff around a bit as you yell, "WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU COWARDS! BRING IT ON!" This starts to play in the background as you charge at the nearest guard and... The Rutherford's comment "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" Due to the recently consumed, Armored Shell tonic, you plow through several guards and you don't feel a headache this time. You notice this and think, I wonder how much stronger my shell is compared to a pony's body, Armored Shell effects aside. I really should have paid more attention in Changeling Anatomy clas- Seriously?! Thy art thinking about this now? How about you dodge the spell heading towards our flank? "Buck!" you yell as you quickly dodge a spell which hits a guard pony and knocks her into a lightpost. You smack a pair of Pegasus guards flying at you in the face with your staff before using the momentum to twirl your staff in the air as you proclaim, "Check me out, I'm the ghost of Hearth's Warming KICK YOUR FLANK!" Before slamming the staff into the ground again and releasing another shockwave that sends more guards flying back and forcing the others to back off (a few smart ones (probably the few honest ones) tend to keeping the press back). Grey Rebl's comment "Raaauugh!" you roar as your eyes glowed a more intense orange and (if observant enough) a faint glow can be seen surrounding you mystifyingly before you charged at the remaining guards. As all of this is going on, two Royal Guard earth ponies guarding the newsponies start to chat, "Are we sure he's the fake?" the stallion asks, "W-well, yeah!" the mare of the duo replies indigently but with a hint of uncertain fear, "I mean, it's only a 1k bounty so how hard could it be? He only has a hard head!" "FALCON PUNCH!" A 200-pound earth pony stallion sailed over their heads, screaming like a filly until he smashes against the ground. "...and super strength." the mare guard adds (her voice starting to waver) as more guards charge at you from the front, but you send them flying with another shockwave from your staff. "...and a power staff..." The mare's voice is now clearly scared. The stallion guard comments, "Yeah... We're not getting paid enough for this. Hey, I know this place that makes great Vanhoover-style Japadogs." "SHORYUKEN!" A unicorn royal guard is sent crashing into an above pegasus royal guard by your uppercut as the stallion continues making his move, "Want to go on a date and call it a break?" "I... I'd love to." the mare says before she and the stallion take off their armor and trot off. One of the newsponies yell after them, "WAIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING US!! Buck... IF SOMEPONY DOESN'T CALL FOR REINFORCEMENTS, I'M DOING AN EXPOSE ON YOU!!" Back in the brawl, the parking lot was now literally, decked with bodies and stained in soldier sweat and grime and blood. Well, not really blood, just some dude's hayburger with extra extra extra ketch- Focus! "Wuh-Woah!" you say as a spell narrowly misses your head. "Oh..., big mistake!" you yell as Killing intent intensifies and you turn around to see who shot that spell at you only for the big unicorn to grab you in a headlock. Erised the ink-moth's comment As the guard starts giving you a noogie, you don't notice a small squad of shadowy hooded cloaked figures appearing atop the upper levels of the Hoofball stadium. They start setting up a tube with a stand as one of them smirks while loading a canister of a white glowing liquid into the tube. "Equestria will burn..." he mutters as he drops the canister into the tube before yelling, "FOR THE HORDE!" The tube roars and the canister flies high into the air before falling back down and exploding on the ground, sending white flakes like burning snow everywhere. The guards around you scream in anguish as the burning flakes coat their bodies and get inside their lungs and eyes and the guards not close to the blast radius were either unconscious or desperately trying to aid their suffering comrades. The guard who was previously noogieing you lets go of you to start flailing and screaming in agony at the stuff in his eyes, "IT BURRRRN-*POW*!!!" "SHORYUKEN!" You smash him in the jaw with a Shoryuken that launches him into the air and cause him to land groin-first (Ow...) onto a fence before looking around you in confusion and asking, "What the buck are you all-" It's those flakes! Selena says, Your cloak must be protecting you, but these fools aren't so lucky. Looking around at the suffering ponies around you, you forego your own safety to stay behind and save them, "Would you all kindly STOP BURNING AND CHLL!" you yell as you turn in every direction and blast everypony in sightwith your freeze power. Each second passes like hours as you watch them burn, desperately trying to save as many as you can. After a few moments, most of the ponies around you are frozen solid, but that's better than horribly burning to death. You angrily turn to the upper hoofball stadium level to see that the hooded figures are loading another cannister into the tube, "OH NO YOU DON'T YOU JERKS! Would you all kindly BURN MOTHERBUCKERS!!!" Suddenly, the tube catches fire causing it to explode, knocking the hooded ponies out of your view. Fortunately you that the way to the stadium entrance is now clear so you start to head in- "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" When more squads of Royal Guards show up and medics awaken and heal quite a few of the unconcious guards. You sigh in annoyance as you reach into the Inventory and think, BrownDog77 comment On second thought, maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to challenge EVERY SINGLE GUARD IN THE CITY TO A HOOF FIGHT. Also I can't tell who's stained and who's straight and the time I'm wasting on these idiots could have been used beating Flag to a bloody pulp. “Alright, enough of this, everyling GO THE BUCK TO SLEEP!” you yell as you raise the Luna Plushie. The nearest guard just looks at you in confusion. “What are you doing?” he asks. “Huh?” you say confused. “We’re in the middle of arresting you! Now’s not the time for dolls!” “Bu…” you look around and no one is sleepy looking. “Yeah,” chimes in another guard, “Besides, most of us don’t have our plushies with us at the moment, so you’ll just have to wait. I’ll bring my Andrea plushie from My Little Human.” You and the other guards look at this stallion strangely as he chuckles nervously and shrinks under their gaze, “Freaking Humanies... they're everywhere.” "HEY! It's not just some stupid filly's serial! The writing blends self-aware humor with strong characterization!" This sparks an argument between the Royal Guard ponies as you look at your plushie in confusion as you say, “I don’t understand! Why isn't this working! It always works.” Perhaps thou have broken it with overuse. Selena guesses. “NO that can’t be it, hold on.” You say as you start turning the Luna Plushie around until you read the tag sticking out of her foot. "A tag on a plushie? Who ever reads those?" you say as you read the fine print on the tag, Bugze, use this adorable Plushie to peacefully knock out your foes, but use it sparingly as it only works a limited number of times before needing to recharge. Allons-y, The Doctor “Oh, Buck!” you shout as you remember you just used it on Coco a little while ago. What you don’t realize is that the guards have finished arguing and all jump on you in a dogpile. “Double Buck!” you shout. Even with the Damage reduction, this hurts you and you can’t breathe with that many bodies covering you and compressing your lungs “Must... get... to... Flag...” you mutter as you start to lose consciousness, when all of a sudden a few of the guards are blasted off of you, giving you the chance to toss the rest off with a, "SHORYUKEN!" You take a moment to catch your breath and as you do another stallion charges right at you with a sword from behind as Selena starts to shout a warning, but a blast of green magic throws him away from you. “What in the...” you say as you look to the source and see a pink pony mare with two stallions who are looking at you intently. “Who...” you begin to ask before you hear something very familiar. Chhhhhkkkkkkkkkcchhkkkkkchkkk You gasp in surprise at the familiar sound as you see their eyes turn completely blue, "Stop the Madstallion, 9001," you gasp at the usage of your old drone number, "we will contact you when it's safe." They then decloak, revealing their true Changeling bodies. "Changelings!" shouts many guards. "Get them!" "Kill them!" The changelings then dash off down the streets as most of the guards chase after them. “Ch-ch-changelings! Here? Now? But…where have they been?” Ask questions later! You now have an opening! shouts your friend upstairs. With everyling running after them your path is mostly clear, so you decide to put your old brethren to the back of your mind as you charge through the downed guards and into the stadium. Running through the hallways towards the field, a few Horde fanatics are in your way, "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" "NO SHADOW KICK!" "Would you kindly MOVE B****! GET OUT THE WAY!!!" But they're not much of an obstacle. As you get near the opening to the field, you see... a buff-looking guard who's surrounded by various empty liquor bottles. He looks at you and shouts drunkenly, Antonflax comment ''Do you even lift brah!' This is jus grat! First panies in hoods start acting like granches, then the guards show up, and now 12 keggers of beer later I'm seeing black cloaks with orange eyes- hic!" Deciding that you didn't want to hurt this drunk, you try to insult him to make him go away, ''Yo mama is a cow!'' Why art thou insulting his mom? I panicked, OK? The guard looks confused, ''Dude my mom is a cow how did you know? Now I think about it, I think that was an insult, so Taste my hoof..." He lazily lashes a drunken hoof at you that tasted like pain and in reflex you slapped the guard back. ''Bro! Not cool bro not cool.'' the massive stallion says before walking away. "FALCON PUNCH!" And you smash him into the tunnel wall with a falcon punch after deciding to knock this drunk out before he does something stupid. You rush out onto the field to see Flag Burner and his lackeys along with many scared ponies in the stands. Flag Burner seems to notice you as he smiles (you think, you know cause of his hood) evilly at you and says, BrownDog77 comment “Offender! I knew I heard a ruckus outside. Should've guessed that was your doing. Guess Coco needs a talking to...” “She wasn't that hard to go through.” you growl at him. “Guess you were too much stallion for the lady to handle. Next time I'll leave you with more mares to provide you with horizontal refreshment. Still, she does need to be punished for her weakness-” “Don’t you dare,” you threaten. “What? Is a Neighponese fishing hat too much?” “I…huh?” you sputter. "I don’t hurt my own, in case you've forgotten... unlike some.” he says with a sneer towards the corpse of Iron Shield before continuing "Although I was highly wishing to speak to Captain Armor, this is a nice surprise. Have you changed your mind?”. “No Flag, no one else is going to die tonight...” your eyes glow a more intense orange as you growl, “Except maybe for you...” You can just tell he's smirking as he says, “You’re welcome to try sir... but just so you know, you strike us now, you make yourself our enemy.” "You don't scare me, I just mopped the floor with a battalion of guards, what are you gonna do?" you reply. "Oh I don't know, unleash my trap maybe?" "Horseapples! You've only got four... goons... left?" You look around and many of the "Scared" ponies start put on cloaks as they start walking towards the field and gather around Flag Burner. "Oh... " you start when all of a sudden the entrance behind you blows apart and the Royal Guards rush in as more start to fly in from above. A quite a few of them are scorched, bruised, or still shivering, but it seems they've forgotten the changelings. "ALL OF YOU GET ON THE GROUND AND PUT YOUR FRONT LIMBS BEHIND YOUR HEADS OR WE WILL USE FORCE!" A Royal Guard officer on a bullhorn declares, but is met by shouts of "For the Horde!", "Die Imperial Puppets!", and "Buck the Police!" from the Horde fanatics as Flag just looks at you (you just know he's smirking beneath that faceless hood) before he turns around and starts walking away, his fanatics parting for him like water before a waterbender. "Where are you going?" you question "Got places to be, ponies to meet. I still need to have my chat with Shining Armor after all. Boys, on my mark..." He and his four Elite members (marked by their black coats having shades of Red, Dark Blue, Brown, and Light Blue) then continue walking away and you growl and shout, "GET BACK HERE YOU-" Your threat is interrupted when Flag Burner merely waves a hoof dismissively and the Horde Fanatics take their cue to charge forth at you and the Royal Guards as the Royal Guards charge in as well. As you realize your in the middle of these two you say, "Buck you lady luck." Use Forcefield and dodge to navigate the stadium brawl. *wham wham wham* Fortunately, you remembered your forcefield spell and with the Armored Tonic and enhanced Phase 1 strength, quite a few Guards and Fanatics bounce off your shield and attack each other. You quickly lower your shield and use your dodge training and parkour to navigate the massive stadium free-for-all towards Flag Burner (you can tell it's him because he's the only one not fighting and he's the only one walking with his lackeys as everypony else runs and brawls around you). As you're about to reach Flag, you see out of the corner of your eye... [quoteAs the melee in the hoofball stadium rages around you, you spot the bomb. You rush towards it only to get dogpiled by alot of Guards and Horde. In your rage, you blast away the ponies in a yell of energy leaving you there with the Nightmare Cloak formed around you and one Nightmare Tail waving around. The Bomb! You growl in annoyance as you know the bomb is your main priority, so you ignore Flag and charge towards it, but before you do- "THE FALSE OFFENDER!!!" "ARREST HIM!!!" "DIBS ON THE BOUNTY!" "I LIKE TRAINS!" You suddenly find yourself buried under a large dog pile of fanatics and guards. As more ponies start to pile you, you can't help but think, NO! It can't end like this! I won't let it end like this! I need to save those ponies! I need to save the holidays! I need... I need... MORE POWER! With that thought you roar in anger and release and explosion of energy that send everypony in a few yard/meter radius around you flying. Everypony stops what they're doing in fear and confusion as they look at where the Offender was dogpiled, but instead they see a monster covered in a midnight misty cloak with one midnight fox tail swishing behind it. You look over to Flag, and you just know he's glaring at you in both anger and little bit of fear. You grin evilly as you roar, "Alrighty then... WARMUP'S OVER!!!" Spike a pony (either Royal Guard or Horde) headfirst into the ground with a cry of "TOUCHDOWN!" Remembering your priority, you lash out with the tail and grab the bomb with it before wildly whipping it around you with increasing speed to knock away Fanatics and Guards dumb enough to get too close before jumping into the air and whirling the bomb around yourself to gain even more momentum. "TOUCHDOWN!" you yell as you spike the bomb into the ground with enough force to send it crashing alot of meters underground through layers of concrete and earth before whipping out the Power Glove and declaring, "Would you kindly FREEZE!" Which freezes the hole in the ground shut, but now the ice crystals are much larger and are a dark blue color. The bomb then explodes, but the ground harmlessly muffles the explosion and the ice is instantly evaporated into water that explodes upwards before coming back down in a psuedo-rainfall. You smirk in the rain in satisfaction at disarming the bomb as everypony continues to look at you stunned when... "THE TRUE OFFENDER HAS JOINED US! LET US CELEBRATE HIS ARRIVAL BY SACRIFICING THESE IMPERIAL PUPPETS" a hooded Horde fanatic yells before tearing out a chair from the stadium seating and charging at the nearest Guard. With that the brawl continues, but in the rain. As you look at the massive muddy melee around you, you can't help but think, You know, this would be ALOT more interesting if instead of armored guards and hooded crazies, they were all Vanner's Secret models and Playcolt playma-NO! BAD BUG!!! IMBECILE! Even now you continue these thoughts?! Snapping out of your thoughts, you roar in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "ENOUGH OF THIS!" Use a massive Nightmare Cloak-fueled FUS RO DAH to blast everypony (Guard and Horde) out of the stadium and into the city. Use Nightmare Tail to launch yourself like a rocket and land in the Center City area where everypony as recovered from the "Fus ro dah" and is now continuing fighting in the streets. BrownDog77 comment Knowing that everyone wants to hurt you and seeing how this is probably going to be the best way to end the melee, you don't feel that guilty for what you are about to do. Selena? Yes? This is gonna hurt... You then take in the biggest gulp of air you've ever had, as you unleash your mightiest roar at your hooves, FUS ROH DAH!!! This combined with the hoofball stadium's shape causes a massive wave of energy that lifts everyone up and out of the stadium and flying into the sky towards downtown Fillydelphia. Luckily, most of Guards and Fanatics either used their unicorn magic or Pegasus flying abilities to make sure no one died- *smash* Although you did end up smashing into a building wall... *crash* "MY CABBAGES!!!" Before falling off that 5th-story wall and smashing onto a cabbage cart. "Ow..." you mutter as you get up from the wreckage. You feel completely drained from that. Not easy lifting up hundreds of ponies with only your voice, so your Nightmare Cloak wavers as you groggily walk forward- *WHAM* And are then tackled by a few Pegasus guards who start beating on you, (*zap wham pow*), but they get blasted, tackled, and beaten off you. You look up and see your saviors... and see they're the Horde. "The false offender! Take him out as well!" they shout, "Oh COME ON!" you shout as you lash out with your tail to a nearby lamppost and slingshot yourself away. You suddenly grab the edges of your coat and start to float and as you glide through downtown, you see that the entire area has erupted into a full blown battlefield with rioting and brawling. Among the highlights: -Pegasus fight in the skies and tackle/lightning each other through billboards and windows. By some miracle, they barely manage to miss you -Looters run into store and carry away toys, furniture, and dirty magazines. -You see a group of Horde fanatics Royal Guardponies taking a snack break from the fighting to eat some Filly cheeseshroom hoagies and discuss the Rocky movies... then continue fighting when the bill arrives. Your luck runs out when a Horde unicorn zaps a Pegasus guard out of the air and his unconcious body crashes into yours and sends you both smashing into the ground. As you get up, you hear... You hear music and someling say; "Fire up loud, Another round of shots..." You look up to see a particularly crazed/stupid pony on a roof about to perform a... groindrop (?) in slowmotion as he yells out "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!" Before smashing through the floors of the building causing everypony fighting in the floors of that building to all collapse in a pile on the ground floor Music and someling yelling, "Fire up loud, Another round of shots...!" You look up to see a particularly crazed/stupid pony on a roof of an apartment building (full of brawling Guards and Fanatics) dressed up as a giant Turnip and about to perform slow motion belly flop as he yells out, "TURNIPS FOR WHAT!!!" Before smashing through the roof and half the floors of the building causing everypony fighting in the floors of that building to all collapse in a pile on the ground floor. The turnip-stallion then starts going around and hip-thrusting fanatics and guards alike into and through walls and furniture to the beat. After that display, all you can think is... "What the buck was that all a-*wham*" In the middle of your shocked thinking, you get run over by a carriage with one Horde stallion pulling and the other in the carriage throwing Molotov cocktails everywhere screaming/singing, "DECK THE STREETS WITH FIERY DEATH!!! FA LA LA LA LA*fling smash crash ka-boom* AHHHHHHHHH!!!" You grabbed a manhole cover with your tail and flung it at the pyromaniacs, shattering the wheel and causing it to crash into a carrot-dog stand where it exploded and flung the (miraculously still alive but on fire) ponies into a fountain. "You got your second wind back?" you ask Selena. I have no choice but to have it back! she shouts. You growl in anger as your eyes glow orange, your nightmare tail swishes, and you begin to release more Killer Intent... Grey Rebl's comment AdmiralTigerClaw comment A group of Pegasi guards come in at you from behind, thinking that a decisive sneak attack couldn't possible fail... *klang* But they were quickly and painfully proven wrong when your Nightmare Tail lashes out, grabs a lamppost, and smashes the lead pegasus into a nearby Horde fanatic, sending them both through a storefront window. As the Pegasus start to scatter and circle you, you slam your tail into the ground to launch yourself into the air and cry out, "NO SHADOW KICK!" As an unlucky pegasus ate a flurry of kicks to the face before the you use the last kick to launch yourself off his face and at another pegasus, "FALCON PUNCH!" And fire-punch him into a billboard which collapses and flattens a group of Horde ponies who were throwing bombs. The third, particularly fast, pegasus slams into you, but you slap the sides of his ears disorienting him so you can turn him in midair and use him as a shield as you both smash through the thin damaged fourth floor wall of a building. You get up from the unconscious Pegasus and look out the broken wall to see Guards and fanatics viciously fighting in the streets below... -You start machine-gun-casting Stun Spells From your higher vantage point, your horn glows and you start making it rain stun spells on the combatants, knocking out many fighters and forcing the others to flee. *BOOM* Suddenly, your rapid-fire spelling stops when the building collapses and you barely manage to jump out in time- *zap* Only to be zapped in midair up a spell and knocked through a storefront window. You groggily get back up- Dodge! You rolled across the ground in time to just barely dodge a fireball spell. You silently thanked the Apples and Selena as you glanced at the smoke and cinders before glaring at a trio of cloaked and armored Unicorns whose horns were at the ready as a squad of Royal Guard stand behind them. "This is far as you'll go! Surrender now, and we won't use lethal force!" a mare ordered. "The mages are here! They'll definitely turn this around!" you overhear someling say. Mages? The SWAT of the Royal Guards, huh? Well, let's see if these hotshots could handle this! "Oh? Well, would you kindly CHILL OUT!" you cry as you slam the power glove into the ground, but to everypony's surprise instead of a floor of ice, a focused SHOCKWAVE of midnight-blue ice shot straight at the mages. Quickly, the mages started lobbing fireballs at the ice which explosively expelled dense steam across the area, blinding everypony in a fog. "Make a circle! He could be anywhere now," the mare said and the Guards follow suit, standing flank to flank in a circle waiting for an attack from every direction... "SURPRISE MOTHERBUCKER!" Except up. The last thing one stallion saw was your deadly orange eyes in the fog as you came in from above and lashed out your nightmare tail into his face. The lead mage teleported her comrades slightly dazed away from danger, who briefly thanked him for the save and went in formation with the rest of the guard, although thoroughly demoralized. Not caring for fancy tactics, you charged at the group with intent to smash through them like a bowling ball, "PSYCHO CRUSH-*thud*" Only for the mages to throw up a shield that stops your attack dead in its tracks. As you shake off that headache, *wham* one of the mages ran up and bucked you in the face, knocking you into a wall. As you get back up, another mage casted an ice spell and freezes your hooves to the floor. A few guards come in charging with spears only to get soundly smacked away by a swish of your nightmare tail as you grab one and throw him at the mages causing them to scatter to dodge it. You worked to get off the ice as the guards pulled away, only for the mages to reinforce the ice. Seriously?! Well two can play at that game... "Would you kindly CHILL OUT!" you roar, your own ice erupting from your Power Glove... and trapping you in a cocoon of cold ice. Amazingly enough, there was a pause in the intense fight as they notice this. "Did-did he just freeze himself?" one of them comments "Well that's just stupid!" "Seriously, are we sure he's the real deal?!" Fortunately, there was enough room around your mouth to speak, "Would you kindly BURN!" With that, the ice explodes, the shards violently forcing the mages to scatter and take cover as you stand there on fire. Thank you fire-proof coat. you think before charging at the mages... *splash* Only to suddenly be splashed with a bucket of water. You could only turn to the mare with a compromising trail of water leading towards her and say in annoyed disbelief, "Seriously?! The ice bucket challenged ended months ago! You're kidding, right?" Next to the mare, another unicorn mage (the one that bucked you in the face) lit up his horn, electric sparks sparking. "No," he says smugly. "Oh buck me..." The unicorn sent a lightning spell to the trail of water and electrocutes you as a barrage of magical lasers and fireballs slams into you before it culminates in an explosion. "And... That 1k bounty is ours!" the unicorn said cheekily. "Oh that's definitely MORE than 1k. Around 8 million more, although he's still more trouble than he's actually worth..." the mare adds. The mages smirked, but when smoke cleared, they gasped to see the Offender still standing! With TWO TAILS this time. And devil horns begin to spurt from your head "...Lady of Ouch." Eyes nearly popped out as some of the guard said in unison "You've got to be kidding me!" The fireball unicorn cried, "I don't understand, we gave everything we've got!" Huffing and Puffing, you growled, "I'll be honest, that really, really hurt, and probably more if I weren't fire resistant. And all of that for a measly 1K bounty? I'd give you an A-minus for the excessive amount of effort you've put into it, but that's besides the point..." You then roar in the RCV, "Are you honestly so daft you would go after me instead of stopping all these fanatics running around and destroying this city?! Get out of my way AND DO YOUR BUCKING JOBS!!!" With that, you lash out and grab two of the mages with your nightmare tails. Noticing more incoming fanatics and yell, "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!" Before using the mages as clubs and flailing them around to smack away Fanatics before slamming tho two mages together and finally slamming them both onto a overturned carraige, smashing it. You notice the other mage running away as you yell, Violently grab the face of the unicorn that electrocuted you and fry his brain with a point-blank face-grabbing "Would you kindly EAT LIGHTNING!" (nonlethal of course, but that mage is gonna be half-brain-dead for a few weeks...) "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" With that, you use your tails to slingshot into the fleeing mage and you grab his face with your Power Glove before using your flight momentum to slam his head into a wall. "Let's see how you like it..." you growl evily and the mage starts to flail and muffled scream with his face still in the grasp of your Power Glove before you declare, "Now would you kindly EAT LIGHTNING!!" And electrocute the mage with a point-blank Elctro-Bolt to the face. Dropping the unconscious (though probably half-braindead) stallion, you turn and hear more fighting in the distance. You launch yourself with your tails and land in the Prench Quarter where you see Royal Guards and Horde fanatics continuing to fight (you even see a trio of Royal Guards and a whole bunch of Horde fanatics dueling with stale baguettes). You shout, “It’s the holidays you morons! If anyling’s gonna do any smashing, it’s gonna be ME!” And with that, you grab tear a lamppost out of the ground with one tail, grab a taxi carriage with the other, and just start smashing every motherbucker in sight. You might have gotten a little carried away- “TAXI!” *smash* “HOW BOUT YOU LET ME SHINE A LIGHT ON THE PROBLEM!” *klang* "VIVA LA ME!!!" *crush* “Uhhh… ONE LINER!!!” *BOOM* Okay, maybe you went all captain crazy-go-nuts there as Guards and Fanatics alike are now fleeing from your rampage. However, your activity was stopped when magic shielding surrounds you. The shielding suddenly wraps itself around you and whips you high into the air before slamming you down several floors of an abandoned building before it collapses on you. As you use your tails to throw the rubble off you, you noticed that the coloration was a distinctly familiar pink- "Hooded Offender!" yelled the familiar voice of Shining Armor, "Get your flank back here NOW!" When you emerge, you find Shining Armor has recovered and taken the field. And he doesn't look like he's in a talking mood anymore... Some Horde members attempt to hit the obvious guard stallion with Molotov Cocktails, only for it to harmlessly shatter against a shield he erected without even an aside glance. You immediately attempt a Psycho Crusher, only for Shining to pull some surprising competence out of his flank, and swats you down with a shield he whips around you like a fly swatter. In your head, Selena notes this, and gets almost giddy, I've been wanting to see what made him worthy of an alicorn's heart...! Suddenly blood red letters and a deep voice echo above you that read/say, FIGHT! Shining wastes no time going on the offensive, the shield he's projecting only about as large as he is, but whipping around like a weapon in itself. You're forced to back away as it cleaves through the air, hissing as it clears a path. You retaliate with, "NO SHADOW KICK!" Only to hear your flurry of kicks clang uselessly as if you're striking metal. The thunderous impact sounds make your ears ring, but in your irritation turned surprise, you realize that this is the same stallion that put up a city-sized shield, and he's now projecting that power to a cross section the tiniest fraction of the size and you realize something, I'm not breaking that anytime soon, am I? You attempt a few more creative moves (and by that we mean you just spam Falcon Punch as you slam on the shield with your tails), but come up short when Shining simply projects his shield forward, intercepting your attacks with explosive force. He then slams his sheild against your head dazing you. While you're stunned, he winds the shield back as you're left open and you're slammed into another building taking out the wall in the process and causing it t collapse on you. Impressive... Selena comments, I thought making him the Captain of the Guard was just politics... That's sparkle butt's brother alright, you mentally gasp from your rubble pile, I guess great magical power just runs in the family. Any further conversation is interrupted when a Horde Fanatic disguised as a guard (or maybe just a corrupt guard) pounces at Shining with his spear and the prince manages to dive and roll in time to avoid getting skewered by a spear, and then throws up his shield to deflect a wild swing. The fanatic/guard puts up a pretty good impression of looking like he knows what he's doing, long enough to keep Shining from noticing another Fanatic going for an attack from behind. "PSYCHO CRUSHER!" You explode out of the rubble and slam into the would-be ambusher with the force of... well, what IS comparable to a psycho crusher? You grab the fanatic with your tail and start pounding him around the place before hurling him at a flying fanatic dropping bombs (at hitting him). Dodge! You duck just in time to have a razor-edged section of shining's shield pass through the spot where your head would had been. "Hey!" you snap, "That was uncalled for you ungrateful jerk!" "I was going to deal with him myself!" he snaps back from atop a piece of rubble Your anger fueling your ability, you smash your tails into the ground to launch yourself at Shining, barely dodging his attempt to swat you with another shield, and bounce off the area just below the rubble before connecting a blow to his nards. The blow sends prince stumbling back in pain, but it turns out that he can take that kind of blow alot better than most stallion as he says, "If that did any real damage, Cadance would castrate you." Wait, he can shrug off nutshots! Well... it does make sense. If you're gonna be the husband of an alicorn, you better have lots of lower endurance... Seriously? You don't give Selena's mental comment a second thought as you close in on Shining's lowered defenses. The two of you exchange several evenly matched blows and blocks before his horn flashes, and that blasted shield smashes you into a cart of cabbages. "MY BACKUP CABBAGES! WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING DESTROYED!" This causes you (and surprisingly Shining too) to shout, "WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" "This is getting annoying!" you growl as you jump out of your fresh landscaping (and grabbing a nearby lighter). "Time for Prince flambe!" you yell as you ignite the lighter in one hoof and use the other to grab a can of WD-40 from the Inventory and spray it. This results in a stream of fire that Shining easily shields against, but you keep moving around the stream to obscure his vision before you throw the volatile can to his Shining's side. Shining's reflexes are fast and he shields himself in time as the spray can explodes, but you take advantage of his distraction to launch yourself with your nightmare tails and take out your staff before smashing Shining in the face with it using your momentum. As he reels from the impact, you twirl the staff before slamming it into the ground and hitting the Prince with a point-blank shockwave that sends him smashing through a building. "HAH!" you shout, "Take that Sir Shines-A-Lot!" If it's one thing I've learned, it's never gloat in combat- *WHAM!* You're suddenly tackled through another wall. You look up in anger and growl as you see it's Flash that did that. Before he can come in again, a pair of Pegasus Horde Fanatics rush him forcing Flash to divert his attention to fighting them off. You get up from the rubble, but you start to breath deeply as you feel like collapsing. You hear Selena say, Minds Eye's comment Hooded Offender needs food badly! Well... *pant*... done... you mentally reply at her picking up references. Your constant references are contagious. In all seriousness, I need some time to regain some of my strength. Can thou rest for a minute? You get hit by a stray unicorn zap and get knocked into the shelf in the room. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be an option. You then spot a clipboard on the ground. Unless... If you say, "Look! A distraction!" I swear- No, I'm going to BE the distraction! You pick up the clipboard as you charge up the last of your lung energy (mentally apologizing profusely to your sore throat) and scream in the RCV, "ROLL CALL!" All the action stops as you quickly call out, "Shining Armor!" He looks around in confusion, holding up a shield as some civilians behind him evacuate. "Here?" "Good! Flash Sentry?" No one answers. "Flash Sentry!" "Here," a voice mutters behind you. You turn to see Flash Sentry standing behind you with a broken parking meter in his hooves, "You stay where I can see you, Mr. Sentry! Do you understand?" you bark in an authoritative tone, "Yes, sir," he instinctively salutes before and walking into the mob in front of you. "Good. Moving on: Random Horde Member 17?" One of the cloaked figures raises a hoof, "I think you knocked him out when you dropped a wall on him... after Falcon Punching him in the nards... and whacking him in the face with a stop sign-" Another one shakes his head and interrupts, "No, I'm 17 this week. That was 42." You tap a hoof impatiently, "So?" "Oh! Here!" "Thank you- Ah, would you look at this?" You tap the clipboard and continue, "Anyone here follow their horoscope? If you're a Gemini, you going to meet a special Leo today!" One of the Horde, an earth pony lying on his back with a pegasus Royal Guard sitting on him with a menacingly raised hoof, perks up, "I'm a Gemini!" "Get out," the guard says, "I'm a Leo!" "No way!" They hoof bump. "You like comics?" "You know it!" As... surprisingly effective as this has been, I am restored and ready for the next round whenever you are. You grin, "Then I only have one thing left to say." You take a breath and screm the one thing you've always wanted to scream as you leap back into the melee. "FUS RO DAH!!!" In spite of your pained throat, you smirk as you see you managed to blast everypony away, but there's still alot of fighting and rioting going on around you. You need to stop it, but how... BrownDog77 comment *ding* Getting any idea, you use your tails and parkour to get to the roof tops and start spamming Psycho Crushers and Falcon Punches to knock down water towers and flood the brawling streets. With that done you take a deep breath and think, This is gonna hurt... Before you jump off the top of the building, raise the Power Glove back, and yell, "Would you all kindly have a SHOCKING revelation?!" and slam your glove down into the water, sending out a wave of electricity that electrocutes unconscious almost all of the combatants. Luckily, the only shock you receive is through your glove, which lights you up and sends you smashing into another store. You get back up from the overturned clothing and see that you landed in a Vanner's Secret store, *SPURT* Goes your nose as you groggily get up and see most of your foes down, and the others wobbiling about. You then decide to take a minute to rest, but then you spot Flag Burner walking with his four Elites down the street as if nothing's happened. "OI!" you shout as you run out of the store and point your hoof at him. Flag Burner stops and looks at you smugly (at least you guess due to his faceless hood) as he says, "So this is the true power of the Offender. The power of a monster." You growl in anger, before you smirk evilly and say, You say to Flag Burner and his followers "I don't know if I want to mop the floor with you separately or all at once, so we're going to do both." "I don't know if I should mop the floor with you separately or all at once, so we're going to do both!" Flag Burner just smirks (again, guessing due to his hood) as he says, "Give it your best shot... master." You growl in anger as you yell, “Would you Kindly Burn!” You shout as you send a flame right at him, which is stopped when a wall of water comes right in front of him. “Wha? But, magic can’t stop these…” “Magic isn’t the answer to everything sir, there are other powers out there…” You then see his four elites walk forth. One is manipulating water, one is causing rock columns to appear, and the others are manipulating fire and air. “And Element Bending is quite the powerful field.” You remember the last time you were up against an element bender, your own daughter no less. “…Oh Buck…” “Would you kindly GO TO TARTARUS!!!” as you send fire right at him from the Power Glove, but it's stopped when a wall of water comes right in front of him. You stare in disbelief and say, “Wha? But, magic can’t stop these...” “Unicorn spells aren't the only type of magic, sir, there are other powers out there...” You then see his four hooded and cloaked elites walk forth. The Dark Blue-cloaked unicorn fashions a water whip, the Brown-cloaked earth pony stomps to start raising columns of concrete around him, the Red-cloaked other unicorn shoots out flames from his hooves, and the Light Blue-cloaked Pegasus one makes an air sphere form around him as he hovers. “And Element Manipulation is quite the powerful field.” You remember the last time you were up against an element bender (your own daughter no less) and mutter, “Buck you lady luck...” Outro: What do you do?