The landscape went past us. The rattling of the train cart filling the silence between me and Twilight who sat in front of me. She looked out the window, sad eyes looking at the nature going outside. It was just past morning, about… 6:30, according to my pocket-watch. In my hand I held the scroll Twilight received from Celestia yesterday eve. I rolled out the scroll to once again read the letter;
“Dear Twilight Sparkle.
I apologize for not responding earlier. Royal duties have prevented me from such. I suspected that he was going to request that but I was surprised that he took this long to do it. Have him visit me first thing tomorrow morning. I want you to accompany him on this since I believe that he would need your support on this matter. I hope you can understand.
Your proud teacher,
Princess Celestia of Equestria.”
I rolled together the scroll and held it in my hands. Looking up I saw that Twilight didn’t move. She blinked a few times but kept her eyes at the window. It felt like she was avoiding my eyes. Her face was wearing the same sad expression she wore when we met at the train station.
“You don’t look very happy.” I said after a long silent hour.
Twilight glanced at me but kept her face to the window. She sighed.
“Because I’m not.” She said. She finally shifted her position to look at me. “One of my best friends is going away forever and I’m going to be there to see him leave.”
I straightened my back a little to see around the cart. Only a handful of ponies were here and most of them slept. I played around with the scroll a little at what Twilight had just said.
“Maybe be happy that I’m going home?” I asked hopefully. ”I’m going home to my own family.”
Twilight’s expression didn’t change. She kept her eyes to the floor. The only moving on her part was the occasional turn the train did. I did like she did; looking out at the passing landscape. The first time I arrived here I took the train to Ponyville. I was amazed at first in how beautiful everything looked. Now I’ll be leaving this entire place behind. And that tugging on my heart was present again. I wanted to go home but why didn’t my heart agree with me?
“I can understand that, Ben. But what about Applejack and her family? All the times I’ve seen you hang out with her. The way you act as a brother to Macintosh. The love for Apple Bloom. Are you just going to dismiss it all?” She said with a low voice, almost as a whisper.
I looked at her when she said this. True, I’d be leaving a lot behind. And this morning was a clear sign of it. Applejack had woken me up at sunrise. Her voice ragged when she greeted me. The short breakfast I had with Macintosh and her as she walked with me to the train station. We had just separated with a warm hug as Twilight and I boarded. Applejack never left the station until we were out of sight. All the time she had tears in her eyes.
She did promise to tell the others of what had happened. I hope she will be alright. Twilight had a sigh escape her when she looked at my vacant expression.
“You had a lot of ponies who liked you. Friends and even some mares who were interested.” She whispered and put on a false and strained smile.
Mares interested in me? Doubtful that they were going to fall for a human.
“If I did it would be cheating.” I said causing her to look confused. “I have a girlfriend back home. How do you think she would react? ‘Hi, Addie! Sorry I was gone for so long. But I was transported to a planet with colorful, socializing talking ponies and accidentally got romantically involved with one. Can you forgive me?’” I dramatized with false emotions.
I snorted at my own bad joke.
“Sorry, Twilight. But I have all I need back in my world.”
Twilight nodded and looked out the window, allowing long minutes of silence.
***
We had just arrived in Canterlot. Twilight’s face had not change until she saw a white unicorn stallion with blue mane and tail. He wore a purple armor with gold trim. His cutie-mark was a blue shield with Twilight’s star with three stars above. Twilight galloped almost full speed of the train and hugged him.
“Shiny! Why are you here?” Twilight beamed with the first change of emotion I’ve seen since we left.
Shining Armor was smiling at Twilight then at me. First time I met him he escorted me to Celestia’s chambers. He was okay by my book.
“Mr. Fields. Long time no see.” He said with the same bit of pride from when I last saw him. I shook his hoof.
“Major Shining Armor. It certainly was a long time ago.” I replied but he seemed to chuckle at ‘Major’.
“Yes. Although it’s ‘Captain’ now.” He said, puffing out his chest in pride.
Twilight looked at me as if I didn’t know this. I let his hoof go and he turned to leave.
“Well, I think congratulation is in order.” I said while following him.
He chuckled.
“Thanks. Now my duties is defending the safety of the Canterlot walls, political manure and escorting dignitaries around.” He stopped to look back at us. “No offence.”
“None taken.” Twilight and I said in unison.
We kept our pace on our way to the castle. Twilight broke the silence.
“So, Shiny, why were you escorting us?” She asked and walked to stand besides Shining.
He spoke up as I just looked around. It’s been a year since I walked these streets. How time flies.
“When I heard that the Princess wanted somepony to escort a human to the castle there were volunteers but as soon as I heard that my little sister was with him I took the chance. Wanted to catch up with my little Twily.” He wrapped a fore hoof around Twilights neck and nuzzled her playfully.
She seemed to lighten up at this. I however wasn’t. That constant nagging in my mind about what I would leave behind. The tugging in my heart. I wanted to go home so badly but the more the thought got to my mind, the more I felt sad. I must’ve blanked since Twilight and Shining both tried to get my attention.
Snapping back to them Shining cleared his throat.
“So what is this business you have with the Princess?” He asked as we passed the gates to the castle.
Twilight’s eyes almost pleaded to me that I wouldn’t answer.
“Celestia said that she could take me home. That is why we’re here.” I answered despite Twilight’s plea.
At this she lowered her head and her ears splayed backwards. Shining nodded with eyebrows raised.
“Huh… Never knew the Princesses could do that. But then again, I never asked.” He chuckled but cleared his throat when he saw Twilight’s sad expression. “Anyway, we are close to the throne room. Wait here.”
He opened the doors and closed them, leaving me and Twilight with two guards standing on each side, their face unemotional. The silence couldn’t be more awkward right now. I looked around since I had nothing better to do. I was nervous and more or less excited that I was going to return home. The hall was as white and polished as the day I first arrived.
Beside me Twilight sighed. I looked at her but she didn’t return the look. Okay, I wasn’t all that happy. I never got to say good bye to Apple Bloom. Or the others for that matter. But I bet they’ll do alright. Give or take two months and they will act like I never existed.
“Well, final destination.” I said in hopes that we could break the uncomfortable silence.
This caused Twilight to sigh again. ‘Good job, Benny. Make things worse.’ I thought, mentally slapping myself. She finally looked at me. Not crying but she seemed to be close to.
“I just can’t believe that you would go through with this.” Twilight said quietly. “After everything you’ve done for us. After everything we’ve done for you.”
I looked at her and nonchalantly placed my hands in my pocket.
“All good things come to an end, Twi. You have to expect me to miss my family. And I can’t wait to see them again.” I said, a small smile creeping on me as I thought of the things I would do.
Hug my family and apologize to my father for what I said to him. Perhaps asking Addie to a date if she didn’t move on. Hang out with my friends. Get that surgery so that I could work out and hopefully do better work on the farm.
The door opened and Shining Armor motioned us to enter. We did but I kind of rushed in. The throne room was just as impressive as the rest of the castle. A room that looked as big as the inside of the cathedral of Notre Dame. Red carpet leading us to the golden throne. On our sides the dirt glasses of various historical events guided us through colors made by the light of the sun. And the God herself was looking at us. I found myself smiling at her beauty.
Celestia. The princess of the sun and one of the two ruling sisters of Equestria sat on her throne and looking at us with a warm smile. Her magenta eyes locked into my green. Her aurora colored mane and tail flowed around her pearl-white coat. I found myself kneeling down in a deep bow before her.
Beside me, Twilight did the same. Celestia rose from her seat to greet us.
“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. It is good that you could be here.” She spoke in a manner that reminded me of a good mother and a queen. Twilight got to her hooves and Celestia turned to me. I was still bowing before her. “And Benjamin Fields. It is good to see you as well. I’m glad that your time in Ponyville has been delightful.” She spoke to me and warmth spread in my chest at her voice.
I got up to meet her eyes. She was more than a few centimeters taller than me. Then again, I was shorter than most boys my age. She waited to speak, like she was expecting me to speak. I took a deep breath.
“You know why I’m here.” I said, earning a glare from Twilight.
Celestia nodded and gave Twilight a reassuring smile to say that it was okay for me to speak my mind. She turned grim for a short second for some reason.
“Yes. Your wish to return home…” she pondered on this. She was searching for something and it didn’t bode well. “… We’re waiting for my sister to join us. This will take both our magic to perform.” She explained and turned to move.
We followed her to the corridor leading us through the castle. On our way to one of the rooms an alicorn of night-blue color with the same flowing mane dyed the color of the same night she created. Celestia’s sister, Luna. She looked drowsy when she looked at us. Luna slept the day and being awake at this hour must be taxing.
Maybe the reason Celestia wanted us to be here this early was for her. She greeted us in a formal manner I’ve seen since before.
“Twilight Sparkle. Good morning.” She turned to me. “And the human, Benjamin Fields. A good morning to you too.”
I nodded, earning a nudge from Twilight.
“Oh, um… Good morning, Princess.” I greeted with a bow.
Luna gave me a nod and joined Celestia on our walk through the castle that seemed to prolong my return home. Twilight had trotted to Celestia’s side to discuss something when Luna closed her distance to me.
“What, pray tell, is our business on? Tia told us little but she seemed to say that it involved you.” Luna whispered to me.
Celestia and Twilight was in deep conversation to hear us which was good.
“I wrote a letter to her about me wanting to go home. I hope she can deliver.” I said which made her falter a bit in her sleepy state.
She looked between me and Celestia.
“You wish to return home? The time we saw you at Nightmare Night you seemed to enjoy your stay. What caused this change of heart?”
“Home sickness.” I answered plain and simple.
She raised her eye-brow but not wanting to delve deeper.
We passed one of the rooms when one caught my attention. I stood in the doorway and looked inside. It smelt sterile and one lone memory came to mind.
(-***-)
“Doctor, look. He’s showing signs of recovering.” A female voice said.
I was still in darkness. I was alive, that much for certain. Unconscious, maybe, but alive. My heart still beating, but pain getting the better of me. There were voices. A man and a woman.
“Good. The princess was getting worried.” The male voice spoke up.
Sounds of hooves against the floor. Hooves again. Were there no one who walked normally? Did they say “princess”? The other one started to talk with a very soothing and motherly voice.
“I’ve never seen something like that before. What is he?” she asked and a warm set of breathing was felt on my left arm.
I opened my eye to see a clean-carved roof made of marble. Eye? The right one was covered with something. Smell of clean and sterile lubricant… and horses? There were voices, now more focused.
“Gentle Care, he’s waking up!” the woman said, hopeful.
I looked to the left, not seeing a woman, but faced with a pearl-white pony-muzzle. I looked at the pony for a long moment before I winced as a pain worked through my neck. The pony’s eyes showed concern.
“Oh dear, are you alright?” she asked making me rear back in surprise.
The pony talked. The pony just freaking talked! She looked just as surprised as me.
“Lightspeed, tell the princess that the creature is awake.” The male said and a pony with wings clad in gold armor saluted with his hoof before galloping away.
(-***-)
Twilight tapped my thigh, waking me from my road through memory lane. She looked concerned.
“Is everything alright, Ben?” She asked.
I noticed that the princesses had stopped to look at me. I looked into the room again.
“This was the room I woke up in after I arrived here. The infirmary.” I said as I absentmindedly stroked my hair, remembering that I was wounded on arrival.
Celestia nodded. Twilight looked between her and me then inside the room.
“How injured were you?” She asked, awaiting a list of grim details.
I looked at the roof, thinking.
“I was almost dead: Several broken bones, scorched skin and the hair on my head was burnt off. Had to regrow it before coming to Ponyville. I think I stayed a whole month here. Took me a week to walk by myself.” I explained, remembering the pain I had when I woke up. I honestly thought that I was going to be blind on my right.
Celestia and Luna turned to walk and I followed suit.
“When my guards told me about your arrival I was surprised.” Celestia explained while walking. “Not only since I have enchanted the castle to not be struck by lightning but how it had struck in my garden. And the state you were in. I feared that you would die.”
She had looked down at the garden where I had “landed”. There was a platform near some bushes that was decorated with Celestia’s and Luna’s cutie-marks; half of the sun, and half of the moon.
She kept her walking until we reached the supposed destination. The guards standing there were both unicorns and as statue-like as the ones guarding the doors to the throne room. Celestia’s horn glowed gold as the doors opened. The room was filled with various books but what was most eye-catching was the etchings on the floor in the middle of the room. It was made of crystal and had runes etched around it. Celestia closed the curtains and looked to the guards.
“Leave us.” She ordered gently.
The guards saluted and walked out, closing the doors behind them. We were now in darkness, only illuminated by the horns of the princesses. Celestia turned grim when she looked at me.
“Benjamin.” She said as she looked at the crystal we stood on. “The reason we are here is that I found out how you came here. We ask you not to be angered.”
The pit of my stomach turned to ice.
“Don’t tell me that you’re not going to let me go. You told me I could return home!” In anxiousness I shouted. The words she said was just words but it made me nervous.
Celestia raised a hoof to let her speak.
“We never said that you couldn’t. I just asked that you wouldn’t become angered.” She said making me calm down.
She breathed as a tension formed. A slight tingling formed in my chest as their magic worked on me. Twilight closed her eyes and tears formed in her eyes. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes but I didn’t disappear.
“Benjamin.” Luna began as she looked at her sister. “After you wrote the letter to my sister, she made a discovery. We learned how you came to be here with us. The reason Twilight Sparkle is with you is for what we are about to show you.”
The crystal lit up, showing a green garden I recognized all too well. My uncle’s garden. Four men were sitting on garden chairs. I recognized my younger self and my father. His face untrimmed and his hair unkempt. Twilight had now opened her eyes, now surprised at me still being with them. I knew this scene but confusion still got the better of me.
“Celestia, what is going on? What are you trying to show me?” I asked, almost feeling my heart beating faster in a slight fear.
Celestia sighed as she looked into the crystal.
“When you wrote to me about wanting to go home, I told Luna that we could do it. However…” she looked at me, saddened. “… I did not expect this to happen.”
My heart dropped as the persons moved… more accurately, my father moved.
“Ever since Lucy died I don’t have the strength to move on.” My father said, pained. “I feel pathetic.”
I felt my chest burn at these words. My younger self looked at him, clearly angry.
“Dad! Don’t you dare start that shit!” He growled as he got to his feet. “I’ve already heard you say that same bullshit the whole week!”
My uncle and my cousin looked at him, at me.
“Why not?” My father muttered. “That’s just what I’ve become after your mum’s passing. I can’t take care of the farm. Can’t tell your brother to help. You being angry at me. I’m just pathetic.”
My younger got to his feet and my cousin tried to calm me down. He grabbed my shoulders, talking calmly.
“Stop saying that you’re pathetic, you prick!” he almost shouted. Shaking free of my cousin’s grasp.
My cousin grabbed my younger’s shoulders again in an attempt to make him calm down.
“Benny, calm down.” He soothed but went unsuccessful at his rage.
They shuffled until my younger got free, his eyes burning.
“You, shut up!” He turned to my father. “Continue your self-ranting, and eventually it comes as truth!”
At this point I was rubbing my chest. Not from the heart's pain. But from the pain I felt reminiscing this. To my right, Twilight looked just as pained.
“Ben! Stop saying that to your father!” My uncle shouted. My father looked saddened at my younger’s ranting.
No more. Please God, no more.
“Richard, shut the hell up!” my younger shouted back. He then leaned to come face to face with my father. I swallowed as regret got the better of me. I looked away. “Because in my eyes, you are pathetic!”
There it was… the words. Relived through my nightmares and manifested into a crystal mirror. Twilight looked at me, clearly hurt by the words I told my father that day. I really hope that he can forgive me after this. A low rumble of thunder echoed through the room. I remembered. It was going to rain that day. Despite having to face my father’s distraught face I had to look. It had started to rain. My uncle and my cousin got up to get inside.
My younger followed only to stop dead when he noticed that dad didn’t follow. Looking back he saw him sitting there in the rain. His face bearing pain. My younger ran to him, almost slipping in the wet grass.
“Dad! C’mon! We need to get inside!” My younger shouted over the rumbling of thunder.
My father just shook his head weakly.
“Why? I’m pathetic. You said it yourself. Why not leave your pathetic father in the rain?” He mumbled sadly.
My younger did something that made Twilight jump: He punched dad in the face. The face of sadness now became the face of hurt surprise. He looked at my younger who huffed and grabbed his chest.
“Stop talking shit and get up!” He snarled and pulled my father to his feet. ”You may be pathetic, but you’re still my dad. Now, come on and move your ass before we become drenched!”
That had cleared dad’s resolve as they both made a brake for the house. I glanced at Twilight who looked at the scene with surprise at how this used to be me. I remember being this foulmouthed in my younger days.
My dad slipped in the mud as the rumble of thunder got closer. The crack of lightning was distant. My younger grabbed my father’s arm and guided him. The roof to the cellar was in view and in a heavy motion he shoved father so that he had to catch himself from hitting the wall. He looked at me.
“Dad, run!”
*Crack-boom!*
In a flash of white that blinded us I knew what happened. I closed my eyes to expect where this was going… As expected; when I opened my eyes there were nothing in my place. I was gone. My dad walked out from the cellar opening when the rumbling of thunder faded and so did my uncle and cousin. Dad looked around for me. Carefully at first but later turned to frantic turns as he started calling my name.
“Ben?” He called. Uncle and cousin called out but it was to the point where my dad started sobbing. “Ben? Ben, please!”
I looked to Twilight who had her ears folded and her eyes started to tear. So did mine. I watched as dad’s eyes stared up into the sky… to me. He kept calling after me with little result until uncle comforted him. I closed my eyes and sighed deep. The sound of my dad died off when I felt all eyes on me. I opened my eyes to level with Celestia’s. Her eyes showed a genuine warmth and concern for me.
“The thunder, as you could see, was not a normal occurrence. The power I traced from it revealed it to be born from chaos. Chaos from a certain individual who still had influence before being freed from his prison.” She explained and looked to Twilight who rubbed her eyes from tears. “A certain mad God you and your friends defeated, Twilight.”
It didn’t surprise me. The God she was referring to was Discord. A being called draconequus that ruled millennia ago. If remembered correctly, when he broke out he transported me by mistake. And the fun part was that I wasn’t chosen. It was by pure accident that I was struck. Celestia cleared her throat.
“I still remember it today.” She said, her eyes traveling to the roof in reminisce. “It was right after Twilight and her friends sealed Discord. During the ceremony…”
(-***-)
It was a day to celebrate. The pride I felt from the accomplishment you and your friends did, Twilight, made me feel like a parent. And as a teacher I felt more joy than I have ever thought possible. As I looked over the crowd a wide smile formed on my muzzle and I gave a sigh of relief. It was, however, short when a familiar feeling. But it was impossible! Discord was sealed so what…
A sudden rumble of thunder sounded outside, bringing the cheer to a halt. I looked outside to see the dark clouds form just over the courtyard. Concern painted my face and I was almost prepared to light my horn should anything dangerous appear.
“I thought you didn’t plan a storm today.” I heard Twilight say to Rainbow Dash, even she felt the worry of the situation.
Without even looking at her friends I could see their anxiety.
“We didn’t.” Rainbow hissed.
I looked to the crowd. Restlessness was spreading fast and only short of panic.
“Now, now, my little ponies.” I announced, trying my best to direct the situation away from a chaos that could occur. “Calm down. It’s nothing to worry about. Whatever might happen, we have our pegasi guard to help should…”
My speech was drowned out when a flash of lightning illuminated the hall and the sound of a crash echoed. Screams erupted from the crowd and my eyes narrowed at what could have landed. Strange enough; What I felt was nothing. No magic signature or residue of chaos. I motioned to a nearby guard and he quickly came close.
“Take a few of your guards and check the crash. Be prepared.” I ordered through the screams and he nodded and galloped out. Now to calm down the guests. “Everypony! Calm down!” I bellowed.
The screams and clopping of hooves slowly died down. Amazingly, you and your friends where the only ones to remain calm, save for a trembling Fluttershy who hid beneath Rainbow Dash.
“I’ve sent guards to check for whatever creature or disaster that might have arrived. Please, remain calm.” I assured as gently as I could.
Their faces said otherwise but did as I pleaded. Despite my calm exterior, I was nervous. Something so unexpected right after Discord worried me. But no longer than a few minutes after I sent the Corporal, one of the pegasi soldiers came galloping back. His face showed… concern? But it was a different type of concern. He showed no apprehension over his fellow soldiers and no blood, no wounds. He came close and the silence that followed would’ve been enough to hear the sound of a flower petal fall. I ducked my head to make it easier for him.
“Princess, a creature has landed in the garden.” He reported, but there was something else in his voice.
“Is it dangerous? Has it made harm?” I whispered back.
I saw Twilight’s friends trying to listen in on the conversation with much curiosity.
“No, ma’am. It’s wounded.” He answered barely above a whisper.
I opened my mouth to answer but my words fell silent. Wounded? What did he mean? And his calmness. Was the creature not harmful? I closed my eyes and took a breath to calm my nerves through this new development. When I opened them, I looked to the guard.
“Show me to the creature at once.” I commanded.
The guard saluted and walked before me. I took a glance to the crowd now silent like a graveyard.
“It appears that whatever came through is not of any danger.” I explained. “Please, everypony, calmly walk home and leave this matter to us. Go in peace.”
Worry still panted their faces but one after one they headed to the exit. The only one remaining was Twilight until even she disappeared.
***
The thing that struck me was the cracked stone-work colored black. In the middle, circled by guards, was the broken and burned form of your body, Ben. I felt a slight shiver run down my spine once I tucked in my wings and stepped onto the grass. The guards saluted and stood clear of my way.
“What is going on?” I asked, surprised by your condition.
The Corporal I sent spoke up, unconcerned.
“Princess Celestia. We found this thing lying on the ground after the thunder storm.” He said, referring to your body.
I didn’t reply. Instead I walked closer to you and was struck by how wounded you were; your skin was burnt in places where I could almost see your flesh. I saw blood all around and bones sticking out and your head bald and burned. The sight was from horrific and broke my heart. When you lifted your arm, wincing in pain as you tried to pet my muzzle. Your hand was bloody and left a trail of blood mixed with soot on my muzzle as it fell down and you looked short of blacking out. The only thing I could do in a fit of concerned panic was call out an order to the soldiers:
“He’s severely wounded. Get him to the infirmary at once!”
“But princess-“ the Corporal started only to be interrupted by my look.
“He’s going to die. Get him treated!” I retorted, this time louder.
He instantly saluted and called out an order to the troops who instantly got to work. I only sat down next to you and whispered:
“You’re going to be okay. Just hang in there.”
(-***-)
Celestia and Luna had both waited for my reaction to her story. I let it sink in on my arrival and a glance towards Twilight showed her slightly paler under her coat, clearly shaken by her story and description on my wounds. I looked at them with a comprehending face.
“Hard to believe it’s been a whole year since then, huh?” I said with my hand in my pants.
Celestia nodded with a gentle smile. I smiled back until I noticed her smile fading into a neutral expression.
“Benjamin. There is more we would like you to see. Do you think that you could manage it?” Celestia asked, deep care in her voice.
I exhaled but my breath hitched in my throat.
“Is it bad?” I asked, my voice going to concern.
They nodded and their horns flared again. The crystal showed a beautiful sunny day in Emmerdale. The cemetery to be precise. Wait a minute. Why the cemetery? The church already had people in black suits and dresses as they entered. One girl made me choke up. She was in her eighteens and dressed in a beautiful dress. Her hair was charcoal black and behind her blue glasses her blue eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Oh God, I just wanted to hug her. She was skinny, way skinnier than the last time I saw her. I recognized her but my worry came when I noticed her state. Twilight choked out a question.
“Who- who is… um, were that female?”
I didn’t meet her gaze. I only stared at the girl who hugged my little sister, a girl in her early teens with brown hair and brown eyes. The girl cried silently in her hug before entering the church with an older man and my father.
“Madeleine Crawford.” I croaked, my voice almost breaking at the sound of her name. “My girlfriend.”
At this she sighed sadly as she kept her eyes at me. I just looked at Madeleine when she sat on the front rows. I knew several of the boys and girls in the church. My classmates. Wait… my family? My friends? But one sight hit me harder than AJ’s buck… and that says a lot. On the alter stood a picture of me smiling with slightly longer hair. The priest stood up on the podium, saying his prayer on me that my soul would find peace. My eyes widened and I almost hit the floor in shock until Twilight caught me.
I shook, almost felt like vomiting and my heart pounding in my ears.
“Oh my God…” I whispered. My hand covering my mouth. “Oh my God, they think I’m dead.”
I looked to Celestia and Luna who both looked at me with concern.
“H-how long after is this?” I asked barely hearable.
Luna looked to her sister and then into my eyes. She let a breath.
“Approximately one and a half month after you came here.” She answered and this time I did fall to the floor eliciting a gasp from Twilight.
They must have given up search and done the only thing logical. Cold, yes, but having a search after a thunderstorm could only yield one viable option in my world. And that is what I’m looking at.
The fifteen minutes he spoke was ended by a song I recognized. Keane with the song Bad dream. They stood up to place roses in front of my picture. My eyes were still on Addie as she removed her glasses to wipe away the tears. Her friend, a girl with blond hair and brown eyes with a black dress held her. I felt my knees shaking but wanted to stand up just to see that they were strong. That I was alive. My tears seeing her in this state only increased my resolve. Twilight’s hoof touched my hand in comfort but I almost didn’t feel it.
Seeing her like that… she was so beautiful. Despite being so skinny, so sad. She had that alluring aura that made me fall for her the first time I met her. The way she looked, to think that this affected her so much after my supposed death.
I started to tremble when I saw my siblings place roses on the alter. My brother had tears but not really showing any big hints on sadness. My sister was in front of him, crying. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see this. I had to but deep down I didn’t want to. I’ve seen Addie suffer once. Albert and Elizabeth as well. I didn’t need to see them suffer again. They started to enter the microphone in front of the alter to say their good-byes and give their love-filled speeches on the apparently good deeds I had done before passing.
Each word hoping that I had found peace. Each word filling me with pain that I had to listen to them. When it had come to Victor and a few more of my friends the words got more meaning. The ones left now were Addie and my dad. Addie rose from her seat and took position in front of the mic. Her black dress flowed beneath her, making her look like a royalty worthy of Queen Elizabeth II. Her breathing echoed and she was having trouble speaking. Just seeing her crying drained me and all I wanted was to hold her close to tell her I was alright. She eventually came around and cleared her throat but she still sounded ragged.
“Ben… Ben was…” She sniffled and looked at my picture. My smile giving her a sad one “Ben was very special. The first time I met him he passed our corridor and stopped to look at me.” She giggled sadly at the memory. “I was too busy reading and he eventually walked away. But he kept doing the same thing until I decided to get lenses and try to read.” She removed her glasses and I got a better look at her beautiful blue eyes. Her breathing was shaky “I… I had gotten lenses that were too weak and got a migraine for straining my eyes. He decided this time to sit down next to me. For the longest time he looked at me and asked if something was wrong.
“I looked at him and answered: ‘Got new lenses and need to get used to them.’ He had stayed like that after a short while when I rubbed my temples he asked: ‘Headache?’ fearing that it was because of him. I answered that my lenses were too weak.” She sighed as she looked up. Tears falling. “He said something I never thought: ‘You look better with glasses.’ Surprised I looked at him. He was blushing, gestured embarrassed and explained that it showed my eyes and enhanced my face.” She giggled but I knew that she was hiding her sobs. I knelt down and brushed her face to try and dry the tears, only to brush the surface of the crystal.
She stopped giggling and started crying. I lowered my head. She was crying. She was freaking crying and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it! Twilight walked to my side to comfort me. Addie had composed herself.
“I never thought he would say that. I never realized that I was blushing at this. We talked for long and he eventually told me that he had a crush on me but never dared to say it. Our first date was perfect. He was… he was…” She searched for words as her breathing was cut short by sobs. "… More than anything I could hope. Kind. Gentle despite his exterior. He was just… perfect. He told me about his condition but it never stopped him from working. Now…” Her hair gently brushed the mic as she sighed. “… I have to say good-bye to him.” She once again looked at my photo. “Good-bye, Ben. Hope you find peace. I see you there one day.” She cried as she left the microphone and too her seat next to her parents who did their best to comfort her.
I was still on my knees, crying like a child at her words. Peace? I looked at Twilight who was crying as well. This isn’t the peace I had wanted. I was stopped short when my father took the mic. My shoulders slumped as my breath escaped me. He was breathing softly as he tried to find words. He was dressed in dark blue with his dark hair combed back and his beard shaved clean.
“I… I don’t know what to say.” Dad said as he sighed. I straightened myself. Not really standing up. “So short after Lucy’s death.”
He took a few more minutes to think before sniffing.
“I had gone through a rough depression after her death and it took its toll on Ben. I had called myself things and he got upset. It took its real toll when he had woken up earlier every day to take care of things even with his heart.” Dad fiddled with his right hand as he was thinking. “He eventually had enough when I started saying that I was pathetic.”
I gritted my teeth. “Stop saying that.” I muttered.
“But he was right about it.” He said, making my jaw go slack. “I had been depressed but letting me say that to my children was a bad choice. Ben took it the hardest since he was the one working the hardest to keep the farm up and even with the help of Elizabeth and despite Albert not helping he did his best to do his best.”
Dad sighed hard and I saw his calm demeanor break as he remembered the weeks after mum’s death.
“Just a few days before I decided to visit my brother I had spoken with Ben and ranted on how I was still worthless. I didn’t have the energy to manage our farm and it showed. Through this he snapped at me and went outside. Didn’t come inside until the morning after.” Dad wiped his mouth as tears welled up in his eyes. “I know he didn’t mean what he said. He wanted to tell me to stop but his anger stopped him from thinking clearly. He finally got his say when he eventually said that I was pathetic.
“When saving me despite everything I said to him I got my eyes opened. The fact that it had to take the death of my son to realize it is… cruel.” His voice croaked as he started to break down. “Ben… my Benny. I’m sorry for everything.” He slid his hand on the mic, creating a scratching noise. “I know you didn’t mean it and I never meant to hurt you or your siblings with my words. Please forgive me.”
His words cut me and I looked away.
“Because… I forgive you.” His voice made my eyes sting as tears wanted to force their way out. Eventually I closed my eyes and let my tears flow free. The room fell silent as the magic left my chest and the crystal turned dull. I was left on my knees for a long while until I finally had the strength to stand and even then it took some effort to walk.
***
I paced the room. The glass of water on the table left untouched as Twilight, Celestia and Luna saw me pace in front of them trying to control the maelstrom of emotions that raged within me. Dead. They thought I was dead. Don’t mind go look for me for longer than 2 months, hell, give them 2 years. They declared me DEAD! My chest burned but I never bothered to take my medicine. After what I had seen I couldn’t care less. I coughed hard but stopped Twilight from nearing me. After the coughing fit I wheezed and took a sip from my medicine. I stared at Celestia when she walked towards me. Her ears flat against her skull and eyes sorry.
“Ben, please calm down.” She pleaded, seeing and hearing my labored breathing.
She took a few more steps towards me.
“Calm down?” I asked, looking confused.
She stopped short of a meter before me.
“Calm down?” I growled and clenched my fists. “My family thinks I’m DEAD! And you want me to calm down?!” I shouted.
Twilight stepped forth but was stopped by Celestia who looked me in the eyes.
“Ben, please. You have to calm down. Think about your heart.” She pleaded. “I know this is too much to take in but if you calm down we can talk.”
I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t believe her.
“Bullshit!” I growled, making her cock her head. “How would you react if your family thought you were dead?!”
Twilight stepped in front of Celestia as I yelled at her.
“Ben! Calm down! Listen to the Princess-” Twilight tried but I cut her short.
“Twilight, shut up! Don’t defend her!” I yelled and grunted as my heart pounded, making me kneel and cough.
Twilight yelped in fright. Celestia neared me while I tried to get my breathing under control.
“Ben, let me help.” Celestia said as she lit her horn. Warmth was spreading through my chest and easing the pain.
I carefully placed my hands on her neck, the feeling of her mane was soothing, as was her silky fur. She raised her head and looked into my eyes. Sadness looking into resignation.
“Please.” I pleaded through a whisper, barely hearable to the others. “Tell me you have some good news.
“We are able to open a portal to your world.” She started explaining in the most caring tone I had ever heard. “So we had a theory on what happened and decided to make you the medium to confirm our suspicion. By imitating some of Discord’s power we can send you back.” She grimaced slightly, as if her next news would hurt. “It will take time. By my estimate it’s going to take 30 years to fully open the portal.”
If I had more energy, it would have seeped away. I looked to the floor as if I could find something to help me put my mind right. 30? I’ll be lucky if I could survive even half of that.
“Thirty?” I asked quietly. “Princess… I won’t even live that long. What will I do?”
This question made Celestia smile sadly but reassuringly. Her smile gave comfort for an unknown reason. Twilight kept looking between us. Luna, more or less, expected me to act hostile from the way my hands were on her sister’s neck.
“We are trying to get a hold of Doctor Gentle Care. So far without luck but we keep looking. He’s educating outside of Equestria at the moment.” She explained. “If anypony can help you with a surgery, it’s him. And we’re doing anything in our power to help out.”
I looked at her. I stood up, shakily. At least it’s a good start. Gentle Care was one of the ponies that treated me when I first came here. After some time I found out that his area of expertise was around the heart. Also, one of the kindest souls I’ve met. Didn’t know he educated outside the border.
“It is also one more thing; The portal is big enough to send letters. Should you want to tell your family about your whereabouts you just send a letter to us and we take care of the rest.” Luna added and looked at her sister with a smile.
I don’t know what to say or react. I can tell my family I’m alive. That I’m not dead. I sighed in relief and gave them my best smile. Twilight walked up to me and nuzzled me. I nodded to them and began walking out. Twilight trotted to my side but stopped short when I looked back at the princesses.
“If what you said is true, Luna… I thank you both deeply…” I sighed before opening the door. “… Give me a letter on the updates of the portal, okay?”
I saw Celestia nodding with a very caring smile before I carefully closed the door.
The train clattered as it lightly rocked me. I found myself in the same sitting position I had on the road to Canterlot. Instead of a scroll in my hands I just had my hands clasped together, staring at the floor. Few hours. In just a few hours, my hope to return had been stomped and kicked into the trashcan. But, at least there was hope of returning. Everything actually seemed to smile in my favor, for once. All my hopes and wishes…
“Ben?” Twilight called from the seat in front of me. I looked up at her. Her face was sad, apologizing. “I’m really sorry for what happened.”
I looked down at the floor again.
“It’s okay.” I said, more to myself than her. “I just need to survive, that’s all. Just hold on.”
This made her go quiet. I was… disappointed. But there was still that hope that I could return. And even send a message to my family, hell, even my friends. After all of this, I was actually smiling.
“I mean that I didn’t know this happened to you. Seeing you like that. I wish there was something I could do.” She explained as she put her hoof on my hands.
I looked at it for a few seconds and looked out the window. It must be shortly after noon.
“There is.” I said, not tearing my eyes from the window. “To hang out with my friends. To be with Addie. Help my family.”
I sighed and looked at Twilight who still had her sad expression. I gave her a sad smile.
“I guess I’m yours now. You’re my friends. Applejack is my family. But I still miss Addie…” I rubbed my face in my hands and breathed, feeling my warm breath. “On Earth I used to comfort Addie whenever she was saddened. Seeing her cry like that. Over me. And not a single thing I could do about it.” I explained, the stinging in my eyes telling me that tears were coming. “My siblings were strong enough to manage but Madeleine wasn’t. You saw her.”
I looked out, my lip trembling as the mere mention on Madeleine made me want to cry. I swallowed hard and met Twilight’s eyes again. That made few tears fall and at her folded ears I swallowed thickly.
“Listen…” I began and sighed as my eyes fell to the floor. “You still have the group-shot in the library? The one with Spike?”
Twilight shifted her seat to the one beside me and nuzzled me in comfort.
“Of course.” She answered softly. She later tilted her head. “Why?”
I looked outside. We were almost in Ponyville.
“I want you to copy that picture and the family picture of the Apples. I… want to send a letter to my family. Let them know where I am and who’s taking care of me. Can you do it?” I asked, my smile wavering.
The only answer she gave was a sad smile and a nod. At this I held her close and let out a deep breath into her neck, her soft fur acting as the only comfort in this moment.
All of them had assembled at the station when we arrived. Their face in melancholy but shocked when they spotted me with Twilight. Applejack smiled but soon fell when they saw my sad expression. I looked at them shortly then walked away. I heard Twilight explain the situation and soon enough I heard sad gasps from them.
The sound of trotting hooves told me that Fluttershy had caught up. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes and nuzzled my hand to comfort me in the same manner Twilight had on the train. I sighed and walked away from them. I needed to go away. I… just needed to be alone.