Karyn eyed the clock and tapped her fingers on the desk. If she started breakfast now, it might get cold before Derpy arrived. But if she waited, she knew that she would get caught up in something else and then Derpy would be sitting around and waiting. She decided to trust her microwave more than Derpy’s patience and started getting out the cooking equipment. As it happened, Derpy arrived just at the right time and got to eat right as she sat down.
“How’s it going?” she said as she put the plate down.
“OK. You?”
“Maxed out on energy. I know it seems like the midterms just finished, but finals are coming up and it’s crunch time. But I’m feeling it, you know? Like how sometimes when you’re working hard, you find extra energy, but when you’ve been lazy for a while you don’t want to do anything even though you should be all charged. That’s how I’m feeling.”
“I can see that.” Derpy tucked in to her breakfast.
“And about the economics class, I’m getting ready to do as you suggested and write up a storm. I do wish that I could bring in my laptop and type it, but I’m resting secure in the knowledge that this will, in all likelihood, be the last heavy handwriting I’ll have to do. Ever. In my life.”
“That’s good.”
Karyn expected Derpy to ask more about her week, but she didn’t. Looking up from her own breakfast, Karyn thought that maybe she was just eating heartily, but instead she was just playing with her toast. She decided to probe a little further. “I haven’t talked to anyone from the meeting last week. You think I should text them? Or would that be too forward?”
“No, you could do that.”
“OK, what’s wrong?”
Derpy picked up her eyes. “Nothing.”
“Come on, I know you better than that. It’s bad enough when I’m feeling down, because I’m used to it. Somehow though it doesn’t seem right for you not to smile.”
“You think so? I thought I heard it was bad to ask someone to smile. Read that on the internet one time I was here.”
Karyn thought about how that could work in context. It took her a moment before it came to her. “Oh, that’s if you’re a stranger. Then it’s kind of rude. But we’re friends. If you’re not smiling, it means I need to help.”
“You can. Let’s have a good day together and I’ll see you smile, and then I’ll get mine back.”
“So you’re admitting it’s gone away.”
Derpy squinted at Karyn. “You tricked me.”
“I didn’t mean to, honestly.”
“Well, all right.”
“Hey!” said Karyn. “What if we went to Equestria and saw if maybe some ponies are having a get-together. You know how the one we went to last week pulled me out of my funk. So if we do the same for you...”
“I don’t think it’s the same. That was what you needed, because you were feeling lonely.”
“So what do you need?”
Derpy got up and walked around the table. “Karyn, trust me when I say, this is purely a family affair. It’s not something you have to worry about. I have to be the responsible one.”
“Excuse me? The responsible one? You’re Derpy Hooves. There are a lot of adjectives that can be applied to you, but ‘responsible’ isn’t supposed to be one. Fun, happy, maybe ditzy...muffin-obsessed, if that counts as an adjective. But just because you’ve helped me out a time or two doesn’t mean that you’re so strong that you can stop asking for help when you need it. Because thinking that is one of the most irresponsible things you can do.”
“I...you’re right.”
Karyn put the dishes in the sink and soaked them, but didn’t wash them just yet. Then she took Derpy’s seat while Derpy sat in hers. “Now, since you said it’s a family affair, I assume you mean something with Dinky?”
Derpy nodded and went for the saddlebag she had hung on the hook. From it she took a letter and put it on the table. The writing was very poor and showed signs of having been written in haste. Drops of ink had pooled and soaked in some spots, but it could be read.
“Dear Mommy, I need to come home from school. I will be on the afternoon train from Canterlot. I need I’ll see you soon. Love, Dinky”
“So I don’t know what this could be about,” sad Derpy. “I don’t know if she’s sick or if she’s in trouble or if she’s running away from something or what’s wrong. As much as I love the mail, when it doesn’t give you the details you need it’s a problem. So I’ll find out when I go home tonight, but till then it’s on my mind.”
“Oh, you should have told me right away. I would have told you to skip the visit if you’re so worried.”
“Then I’d be worrying at home instead of here.”
Karyn, now having finally figured it out, went to take care of the dishes. “Well, I’m not going to stand idly by while Dinky’s in trouble. You don’t know. It could be something real silly like some arcane magical item she left somewhere in your house.”
“Then why not say that in the letter?”
“She was probably in a rush to make the post.”
Derpy smiled at the thought, but she didn’t really believe it.
Finishing the dishes, Karyn turned off the water and dried her hands. “But what I mean is, I’m coming with you to make sure she’s OK.”
“You don’t have to do that. You have class tomorrow.”
“We’ll treat it as a come-and-go, so time doesn’t move.”
“Then you’ll lose sleep.”
“I’ll stay a full day and sleep at your place.”
“Then you’ll be another day older here.”
“I’d give up a lot more than a day of my life for Dinky.”
That settled the issue, and they made plans to return to Equestria. They did not go immediately, since the one thing that they could do to kill time on Earth—watching videos—depended on the internet. Now that Karyn knew somewhat about the problem, Dinky was on her mind too, and she could understand how Derpy could be stressed out. But at the same time, it relieved the tension from Derpy to know that she would not be alone, and that too was an ill that Karyn was willing to suffer.
When the videos got boring, but still with plenty of time before Dinky was set to arrive, they traveled to Derpy’s house. Derpy hung up Karyn’s coat and said, “So what do we do now?”
“I think you should make it as homey as possible. Dinky needs to know that this is where she can always go to when she’s in trouble. If she’s in a storm, we have to be the rock she can cling to.”
“Why would you want to cling to a rock in a storm? Why not go inside?”
Karyn shook her head. “It’s a boat thing, but I forgot that you almost never go on the water.”
“So what should I do to make it homey?”
“If she’s coming this late, she’ll probably want to stay the night. So you should make up her room and her bed.”
“It’s already done,” said Derpy.
“OK, but does she maybe have a favorite blanket or a pillow that you could throw on there? Or if she’s got a toy from her fillyhood that she could never get rid of, maybe put it on the bed. Then we could come down here and light some candles or something.”
Now that she got what Karyn was saying, Derpy went to work. This too was a stress reliever, since thinking about Dinky as a child put a smile on her face.
But right as they were setting up the downstairs room, there was a thump at the door, and the sound of it opening. Karyn and Derpy raced out, and there was Dinky, panting and travel-worn. At her side were two large suitcases. Derpy dropped what she was doing and flew to her daughter. Karyn noticed the way she put her head higher than Dinky’s in their embrace, and kept her hooves over Dinky’s back. It was not a hug of equals; it was a mother comforting her child.
It was a long embrace, and Karyn felt awkward standing there. To find something to do, she went to take up Dinky’s suitcases to her room. That prompted Dinky to break away and say, “Oh! Karyn. I didn’t know you were here too. I can get those. They’re heavy.” She lifted the bags with her magic, but Karyn was already leaning over and she grabbed one of them.
“It doesn’t feel that bad.”
“I guess all the stuff’s in the other one.”
Derpy looked at the bags too. “What’s in those, anyway? It looks like you’ve brought home everything you had at your dorm at school.”
“Not everything. Most of it. Let me get these upstairs.”
Dinky was still straining with effort as she climbed the stairs, and Karyn put it down to the fact that she just had a long walk from the train station. That reminded her. “I thought you weren’t coming until later.”
“I caught an earlier train—“ she cut herself off as she dropped the bag in her room. “Honestly, I thought that Mommy would still be at your place, and that I could have a little while alone to think.”
“Your letter made your mother worry. What’s it about?”
“I...I know I’ve got to tell Mommy...and you...but oh, I’m so scared! I just wish it weren’t so!”
Karyn wanted to pursue the line of questioning, but the last thing Dinky needed was to have to tell a story twice, so she led her back downstairs and into the kitchen where Derpy had finished lighting the candles.
In the kitchen, the candlelight flickered around the cabinets and fixtures. The lateness of the year meant that it was already waning daylight even though there was a good portion of the day left. In the low and soft light, everyone seemed to talk a little quieter.
Derpy began. “Little Muffin, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Dinky was hesitant. “...Mommy...how would you feel...if I didn’t go back to school?”
“Is this about schoolwork again? Karyn’s helped me to understand that you don’t have the ambition to be...well, a famous unicorn like Twilight Sparkle. And that’s all right. I’d rather you be happy than famous. But I think that you should try to finish. Even if you don’t make it, you’ll know that you gave it all you could. If not for your last term, to take your tests now and see how you do.”
“Is it worth it if I know I’ll fail and humiliate myself?”
“Why would you say that?”
Dinky changed the subject. “I’m thinking it’s time I go to work anyway. I’m not earning any money in school, and you’ve always said that that’s important.”
“I never said that it was more important than being the best you can be. If you go to work now, you probably won’t go back to school. But if you stay, you’ll still go to work.”
Karyn interjected. “Can I ask something? Who pays for Dinky’s school?”
“Princess Celestia.”
“So it’s like a scholarship? Oh, Dinky. You should definitely take advantage of that as much as possible. I have to pay for my own schooling, and to borrow money to do it.”
Dinky, for the first time looked as if someone might have more troubles than her, but then her face dropped and she said, “But you’re going to get a job that will pay you more, right?”
“I’m hoping so. I went for a field where they say there’s money to be made. But if you come out of Celestia’s school, there’s so much you could do.”
“I was thinking that I might go back to the shop. You remember, the one on the edge of Canterlot, with all the magical trinkets? Maybe the owner would let me be a salesmare or sweep the floors or something.”
Derpy snorted. “I never liked that guy who owned the shop. I think that, even if that was what you wanted to do, you could find a better place than there. Don’t just go because you’re familiar with it. That might be a good reason to stay in a job, but not to go out to get one. I mean, was working there really the happiest you’ve been?”
Dinky looked down at her hooves, as she had concluded that it was a rhetorical question with the answer no implied.
Karyn tried next. “I know you feel that this is a crossroads in your life, so treat it more like an opportunity than a crisis. If you could do anything, what would you want to do? Then work on doing that.”
“What I really want to do...is become a housewife and mother.”
“OK. That’s something. Is there anypony...”
“No! Of course not! Nopony’s ever going to want me!”
“Hey! That’s not true. Plenty—“ Karyn began, but Derpy stepped in.
“All right, let’s hold off on this. Dinky’s clearly under a lot of stress right now, and what she needs is a good rest in her old bed. Why don’t you go on up? I made up your room just the way it always was.”
“Thanks, Mommy. Just the way it always was,” Dinky repeated. “Back all before I went to school and learned...anything.”
Dinky’s voice caught on the last word, and both Karyn and Derpy heard her stifle a sob. She trotted off to the stairs. As she put her hoof on the first step, Derpy called to her.
“Dinky?”
“Yes?”
“You know that whatever happens, wherever you go, your home will always be waiting for you.”
Dinky smiled, briefly, then trudged up the stairs.
Once her door closed, Derpy’s calm attitude fell apart. “She’s really bad. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. I’ve never seen her so upset, and I can’t even figure out what it’s about!”
“Calm down.”
“It’s easier for me to be calm when I’m talking to her. When she comes back down I’ll find my calm again. But right now is when I need to panic and be the Derpy who always needs help.”
Karyn turned toward the stairs. “The funny thing is that I had no indication of this. Did you?”
Derpy shook her head.
“If anything, she seemed happier than ever. Do you remember when we bumped into her at the trade fair? She was a bundle of energy, working closely with Princess Celestia and her classmates. It seemed like she was everywhere at once and always with a smile on her face.”
“You’re right,” said Derpy.
“But maybe she was just putting on that face to be brave for whatever she was hiding.”
“Again, you could be right, but I should be able to see through that as her mother. I know every expression she ever had.”
“Even now that she’s been on her own?”
“There are some things a mother doesn’t forget.”
Karyn wasn’t sure Derpy was entirely right, but didn’t want to argue. It was a complete mystery, a paradox, and there was nothing to do about it but brood, at least until Dinky was ready to open up.
They sat at the table while the light faded and hoped that Dinky was at least getting some rest. Derpy went to begin making dinner, and Karyn had a glimpse into what their life must have been like as a family growing up. She was lucky to have both parents together, but even Karyn had to learn to be a latchkey child as both of them worked. Dinky would have undergone the same problem, coming home from school each day, left to fend for herself until Derpy came home.
Also, Dinky had no father figure. That was different for a girl, as Karyn knew too many boys raised by single mothers who turned out rotten. But her father had helped instill a firm sense of right and wrong in her. Derpy, for all her virtues, was ill-equipped to prepare someone for the harshness of the world. She was too kind. She knew about being bullied, but not about the temptation to stray from the straight and narrow path. What had Dinky gotten into?
Derpy’s own worries were more visceral. She had only ever known how to go into mama-bear-protecting-her-cub mode when Dinky was in trouble. That her filly wasn’t saying what happened was encouraging—she was becoming her own mare at last. But still, Derpy knew that cut both ways. Dinky had been independent the past few years. If, now, she came running home to mama, it must be serious indeed.
Once dinner was in the oven, there was nothing to do but sit and stare at each other across the table. Karyn knew that she had to be there for Derpy, to get her through, at least until they knew what the problem was. Once that happened, hopefully it would be something Derpy could take care of on her own. Something simple that Dinky was overblowing.
Right in the middle of this, Dinky came down the stairs, rubbing her eyes with her hoof. To Karyn, it was cute, and she could see why Derpy was so doting. Behind the childlike gesture, though, was still the image of fear.
“Did you have a good nap?” asked Derpy.
Dinky nodded.
“I’ve been sitting here trying to think of what I can say to make it better, or to let you know that whatever you need from me, you’ll have it.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. You would do anything for me, no matter what it would do to your own life, and why do you deserve to suffer for a bad filly?”
“Hey!” Derpy turned stern all of a sudden. “I’ll put up with whatever you have to tell me, but not with you calling yourself a bad filly.”
“But when I’m going to be nothing but a disappointment...”
Karyn held up her hand. “Just a minute. I know it’s not necessarily my place, but I’ve got to try to cut this knot. Dinky, listen. If I’m hearing you right, you don’t want to tell us what’s wrong because of what it’s going to do to your mother. And Derpy, you’re trying to be motherly about it, but it’s not working. You’re each trying to bear all the responsibility on your own. Dinky as a grown mare, Derpy as a mother.
“Derpy, you have a simple task: you need, once and for all, to see Dinky as an adult. That’s simple, but not easy. It’s a long time that you’ve been responsible for everything about her, but now you’re not. One way or another, Dinky’s going to have to own some of this.
“Dinky, you have a much more difficult problem.You already see yourself as an adult. And now you’re here for help because it’s the only place you know, and you can’t resolve the contradiction. But here’s what you have to understand, and quickly: being an adult doesn’t mean you stop asking for help. It doesn’t mean you end your mother-daughter relationship. It means you reforge it, make it different, maybe even better. You ask for help now, and then you be there when she needs you.”
With that long speech, Karyn sat down. In her mind’s eye, she saw the two ponies immediately reconciling, but instead, Dinky said, “I’m not going to be able to be there for her, though. Not for anypony.”
“You’re here now. Do this thing for her.”
“Do what?”
Karyn gestured toward Derpy, who could no longer hold back her tears. “You can stop hurting me,” she said to her daughter. “Every second that I see you here, panicking, desperate, but not opening up to me...it’s more than I can stand.”
Of course, that opened the flood gates for Dinky as well, and she ran into her mother’s hooves. “I’m sorry, Mommy, I’m sorry for what I’ve done and that I haven’t told you. I’ll tell you everything, I promise just please don’t cry I’ll tell you everything.” She was blubbering and losing all semblance of coherency.
And in the midst of all this, in this poignant moment, a perfectly ordinary thing happened. The oven timer went off. Out of sheer reaction, Dinky lifted her head to see what the ringing noise was. Breaking the embrace, she looked at the ground and pointed her horn at it. Five seconds later, it turned off, but she kept her eyes down.
“You want to know?” she said. “You want to know my shame? Here! Watch!.”
The oven timer glowed, and its dial spun forward, as it might for any unicorn who was making dinner. But though it had the capacity to spin up to two hours, after it reached the thirty-minute mark, its movement slowed. Dinky was audibly straining, but the rattle of the dial became a series of distinct clicks, each one with a bigger delay than the last. She stopped and panted.
Derpy was speechless, as though she didn’t want to believe what she was seeing. Dinky interpreted this as confusion and blurted it out.
“Don’t you see ?! I’m losing my magic!”
She tried again, planting her hooves and taking a deep breath, looking at the timer again. Her horn gave its full glow, golden and bright, for only a moment before fading to the color of pale straw. Karyn and Derpy looked on in horror as the field around her horn flickered and shrank. The oven timer was released from her hold and began to tick away the time she had given it. And Dinky’s magic glow, like a candle under a glass, diminished into nothingness.