//------------------------------// // Scootaloo’s Secret // Story: Feeding Problems // by ferret //------------------------------// “What the bucking hell?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Don't look!!” Scootaloo screamed, blindly charging forward and hurling herself onto her own vomit. The room seemed to shrink around Dash, as she had to watch Scootaloo struggling there, trying to somehow shield that weird blue ball of puke with her own body, and it kept writhing underneath the filly, struggling back against her. The pattering of rain overhead turned into a quiet roar as the clouds outside really began to open up, and the puke thing managed to stick a hoof out and said, “What's going on?!” in a softer voice, like a filly’s voice. “What?” Dash said, stepping forward, then stepping back again. “What?” A little blue filly with a darker blue mane lifted her head to see over Scootaloo, her pupils narrowing when she saw ...her. “Rainbow Dash? Oh no!” she shrieked in alarm. “What?” Dash said dumbly. It wasn’t weird puke that Scootaloo was tangling with at all. It was another filly. It was that other filly. The very same one. How did she know Rainbow Dash’s name? How did—what? “Let me back in!” the other filly begged struggling underneath Scootaloo, her eyes starting to run with tears too. “I can’t I’m too full!” Scootaloo replied, sobbing uncontrollably. “What,” Dash said dumbly. “What do we do?!” the filly said to Scootaloo terrified. “I don’t know!” Scootaloo cried back. “What,” Dash said dumbly. Dash was busy imitating a statue, so the two untangled themselves eventually, and both turned to stand side by side, looking up at Dash while trembling from head to hoof. The blue filly was a younger, no, smaller pegasus than Scootaloo, just a bit. They both were smaller than when Scootaloo had run into this empty cottage, even before Scootaloo had eaten that entire weird cake thing today. They looked... they looked normal! They looked... what was that? What?! “H-hey... Rainbow Dash...” Scootaloo said in a quavering voice, sucking in high pitched breaths. A gasp drew Rainbow Dash’s attention, where off to the side another filly, lemon yellow with a pale blue mane, was staring out from behind the boxes fearfully. “Scatter!” the blue on blue filly screamed, and she and Scootaloo immediately ran in opposite directions. “Oh no you don’t!” Rainbow Dash shouted, diving into action. She swooped like a hawk, hooking both Scootaloo and that... that blue thing by their tails, careening around in a circle and dragging the two struggling fillies right out of the cottage into the sky. The rain hit Rainbow Dash like a wall, but she pumped her wings powerfully and drove herself into it. She couldn’t think. She had to get help. She had to get help! Both fillies stopped struggling once Dash had gotten some height, and just hung there, defeated. Rainbow Dash was holding onto them with a white knuckled death grip, and they were so light. It wasn’t any harder than that time she’d given Scootaloo a wing ride. It wasn’t any heavier than the times she’d given Scootaloo a wing ride... plus the weight of a certain baked goods product. The rain was soaking through all their fur, but Dash didn’t dare try to fight her way through the angry, dark cloud layer above. She just poured on her speed underneath the downpour, willing her wings to take her faster. A peal of thunder rumbled overhead. Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to take them to Pinkie. There was just no way this was a pink party pony prank. There was just no way. Even if Pinkie could, she would never do something like this. And if she somehow did, how could she possibly be expected to help with the situation?! No, there was only one pony who could help her now. Only one pony who could help all of them now. A bright young unicorn mare by the name of Twilight Sparkle was glad to hear the rain finally start coming down. It had been so dry lately, and she agreed a little shower would do them all good. In this early evening she, like many ponies, had all her business outside taken care of, and could just enjoy the soft sussuration of rain on the leaves of her library, as well as the pleasure of a good book. There was thunder in the distance, too quiet in the sheltered library to awaken her baby dragon. Spike was taking a nap there on the ground floor. Twilight didn’t mind though, because she was sitting on the floor too, curled around the little ball of scaly heat, using him as an impromptu book stand and pony warmer. A page turned in her magenta colored magic, also enwreathing a ceramic cup filled with hot cocoa and marshmallows. She brought it to her lips and took a delicate sip. One of the upper windows exploded inwards in shattered glass and twisted filagree as a soaking wet Rainbow Dash plummeted through the window hind hooves first, shielding the fillies in her grasp and screaming, “Twilight!!” She landed heedlessly with a thoom of recklessly released mana. She was dripping from nose to tail, and so were the fillies she carried with her, dangling in her hooves. One was semi-conscious and the other who appeared to be Scootaloo was coughing wetly and rubbing the water out of her eyes. Twilight gently set down the empty ceramic cup, her face stinging from the hot chocolate that dripped down the edges of her mane, giving Rainbow Dash a look that was slightly less than welcoming and perhaps not the sort of look that you should be giving your true, true friend. “Twilight, why do I smell like choc—” her trusty assistant said, cut off immediately by Dash’s panicked reaction. Dangling the fillies in front of her right in Twilight’s face, Rainbow Dash screamed, “Fix it!!” in complete and utter terror. “What?” Twilight said in a note of alarm. Scootaloo was giving her a guilty look while the other filly, wasn’t her name Archer? She was just looking at Twilight wide eyed and with not a little sense of trepidation. Had Scootaloo done something bad? “Fix it!!” Rainbow Dash repeated pushing the fillies against Twilight, as if she should take them or something. Twilight just stood up and backed away. Her frightened dragon scurried out from under Rainbow Dash’s hovering hooves. The fillies looked fine though, if soaking wet, and perhaps having endured extreme velocities. “Fix ...what?” Twilight said, looking over the fillies at Rainbow Dash concernedly. “This!” Rainbow Dash said, shaking the fillies as if in demonstration, as if that would tell her something that she didn’t already know. “Is there something wrong with these two fillies?” Twilight asked hesitantly. “These are not two fillies!” Rainbow exclaimed cryptically. “Rainbow Dash, calm down,” Twilight said. “I need your help!!” Rainbow yelled back, eyes wide under her sopping rainbow mane. “What’s wrong?” Twilight said feeling concerned, but agitated. The window Rainbow Dash had busted in was merrily raining into the library, quite possibly putting a number of precious books at risk. Twilight looked at the fillies, Dash, and her ruined window into which the rain was dripping, then to Spike who was standing off to the side looking very uncomfortable with the situation. “Scootaloo threw up!” Rainbow said with a lot more alarm than that statement should ever be said. “She threw up her!” “She threw up on Archer?” Twilight said, the blue filly raising her head blindly at the sound of her name. “No she threw up her!” Rainbow Dash insisted. Twilight pulled up a chair. Well, one of the plush chairs animated in her magic at least and rushed forward to knock Rainbow Dash into it. “Sit down!” Twilight commanded, “Just, relax! You are not going to solve anything by panicking!!” her cutting voice seemed to get through to Rainbow Dash, who stopped flapping fearfully at least. With that, Twilight Sparkle went to find her supply of towels and replacement windows. Rainbow Dash whispered apologies to the fillies, holding them tight and curling up miserably on the chair. She should have been repulsed by this blue... thing, but but it was just a filly! No different than any other filly! It wasn’t goopy or slimy it was soft and warm and just as soaked as she was and she could swear she’d seen this filly before! “Spike!” shouted Twilight in the background, “I need the gold nails!” “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash...” Scootaloo said in a voice dripping with honest dread. And also water. They were all pretty wet. Dash didn’t say anything, just closed her eyes and held them tighter. To keep them from getting away, of course. Could never be too careful about that sort of thing. They stayed like that, until a big fluffy towel landed on Dash’s head. She stuck her nose out from under the towel, and Twilight Sparkle was standing there facing her. She still looked mad. While Dash had huddled with the fillies, Twilight busied herself hastily cobbling together a new window. She couldn’t use putty because of the rain, and Rainbow Dash had even managed to destroy the hinges, but with a few carefully placed nails in the new hingeplates she managed to at least cut off the rain streaming in. It would never open or close properly, but she could open the other windows for ventilation if it got hot, and even then there was rarely a need to open the windows anyway as the tree naturally kept itself pretty cool. Spike provided the mop and bucket, but Twilight sent him to find some towels instead, and raised up the mop herself, using it to soak up the majority of the water threatening to warp the wooden shelves. She plucked a dry sponge from inside the bucket before magically wringing out the mop, taking out the books one by one and brushing them lightly with the sponge to try to absorb any water that had fallen on them. Thank Celestia there weren’t any wrinkled pages, but Rainbow Dash had better have a very good reason for doing this at this hour. When Spike approached with the towels, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was a dragon at first glance, because he was completely covered by the tower of towels he was carrying, like some kind of dragon footed towelbeast. Thanking him for his diligence, Twilight levitated two towels and tossed them respectively on the damp floor and on Rainbow Dash, who still had some kind of death grip on those two fillies. Twilight strode up with confidence as Dash poked her nose out from the towel, looking at her mournfully. “Now,” Twilight resumed her instruction, “Put those fillies down, and tell me what happened, and we can work this out calmly and rationally.” Dash lifted the fillies to her face looking at them and saying, “Promise you won’t run away?” They just stared at her silently. “Come on,” she pleaded, “Twilight is my best friend! She would never hurt you. I would never hurt you! I just—just trust me, okay?” It was the blue filly who turned aside from Dash’s honest entreaty, and said in a defeated voice, “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late anyway.” Twilight’s heart skipped at that. Perhaps this was something serious, after all... Rainbow Dash was very reluctant to let the fillies go, and to Twilight’s surprise, they did sprint a few ponylengths immediately upon being released, but then restrained themselves, with an impressive sympathetic coordination. Then they walked forward to embrace each other on the floor between Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Twilight was taken aback by the seriousness of the situation. Hugging each other for comfort, but for what? Wasn’t this about a filly getting thrown up upon? Spike returned from pouring out the bucket water, standing by her side and looking at the somber fillies with a leery hesitation. “So Pinkie uh... they threw up uh a–,” Rainbow Dash started, stopping when she couldn’t figure out what to say next. She gave Spike an uneasy glance. “Spike, could you uh... go ‘organize’ the comics section on the second floor?” Twilight offered immediately, “I think it would be better if this stayed between us.” “Whew,” Spike said relievedly, then straightened up and said, “I mean, yes Twilight! On it!” Then he charged out of the room and skittered up the stairs before these ponies could make things even crazier. Or whatever his reasoning usually was. “So Pinkie Pie baked a cake,” Rainbow Dash said, trying again. Twilight’s ears dropped. Celestia buck that crazy mare. What had she done this time? “No no I know what you’re thinking Twilight,” Rainbow said, waving her hooves to dismiss the specters of Pinkie driving everypony crazy yet again, “But it was totally my fault. I asked her to do it.” Dash bit her lower lip, and squirmed on the chair, saying, “I couldn’t get Scootaloo to eat.” Scootaloo tensed at that, looking at Twilight fearfully over Archer’s shoulder. Why would she look fearfully at Twilight fearfully though? It was Rainbow Dash who was upset here. “I couldn’t get Scootaloo to eat,” Rainbow Dash repeated, “And I bucked up trying to adopt her. It turns out she was just pretending to be at the orphanage, and I went and exposed her, and ruined her only meal ticket. She was just starving on the streets. Well, starving in a shack at least. I–I only thought maybe she was homeless at the time but didn’t know for sure, but there was no way she was getting regular meals.” Dash thumped her hooves between her legs on the chair, saying in a louder voice, “And she still wouldn’t eat anything!” “Oh Scootaloo, I’m so sorry...” Twilight said looking at Scootaloo with worry. The two pegasi fillies had separated during Dash’s explanation, and Scootaloo looked down embarassedly and said, “N-no it’s okay she’s... right. I– I couldn’t eat enough.” “You do realize that a pony has to come slowly off a starvation diet, right Dash?” Twilight suggested wanly. “I remember that now,” Dash clarified, “But before I did, I went to Pinkie Pie. She knows all about getting ponies to eat. So I asked her to cook up something for Scootaloo since I couldn’t figure out what the squirt liked eating, and she made this weird mulberry thing. There was way too much of it too! I shouldn’t have given it all to Scootaloo. I just... I thought if she was getting sick I could follow her and find her... her house.” “You made a filly deliberately nauseous just to follow her home when she became ill?!” Twilight said alarmedly. “No!” Dash protested. “...maybe,” she admitted, “But Scoots always ran away when I tried to find where she lived, and I didn’t try to make her sick, it just did. She ate the whole freakin thing and she was fine, but but there was something wrong with the cake!” Twilight settled on her haunches, pulling Scootaloo against her comfortingly. The filly didn’t put up much resistence at all. “Scoots was shacked up in one of those old abandoned cottages by the Everfree it turns out,” Dash said, “And she was actually doing pretty good I mean, the roof leaked a little, but she had a couch and a lamp to light things up and... sorry. So I followed her to her... house, and then Scootaloo started getting sick!” Scootaloo and Archer were exchanging glances but neither of them did anything. Hesitantly Twilight held a hoof out and Archer practically dove into her side, the two little fillies clinging to her like a life preserver. Heedlessly Rainbow Dash continued. “I know I know I shouldn’t have made her sick but this wasn’t just... this was... this was something way more... she threw up a pony!” Dash threw up her own hooves as if in demonstration of that. Twilight sighed, poor Scootaloo had been starving after all it seems. “She threw up the entire cake, didn’t she?” Twilight said with a look of slight disapproval at Rainbow Dash. “No,” Rainbow Dash said looking at Twilight with wide eyes, “She threw up a pony!” Twilight stared blankly for a few seconds before smiling. “Same old Rainbow Dash,” she said chuckling at her friend. “Could you rephrase that? You’re making it sound like a pony came out of her mouth, but what you mean is–” “A pony came out of her mouth,” Rainbow Dash cut in completely and totally seriously. Twilight paused again, then laughed nervously saying, “I-Is this some kind of prank? You’re making it really obvious.” Rainbow Dash sighed, putting a blue hoof under the front of her beautifully polychromatic and drenched bangs. She casually flipping them over her head, saying, “Twilight, have I ever lied to you?” “Well, yes of course!” Twilight said confusedly, “Everypony... I mean, there was that one time you... um... no that wasn’t exactly a lie... well just the last... no that was just incoherent screaming...” There were times where it was really disturbing to have an eidedic memory. Twilight filtered through her memories as fast as she could, but it took a long time with all of them in there. It sort of helped if she organized them into various interesting moments or “episodes” and the dividing of it into metaphorical “seasons” worked well too, but as organized as she was, Twilight just couldn’t bring to mind any time Rainbow Dash had actually lied to her. “Alright, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said preparing herself, “This is me lying, okay? I’m... not... blue.” It looked like Rainbow had to physically fight out those words. Her whole body tensed up, and she had this completely unconvincing smile on her face, like she was trying to convince everypony that Twilight was a good dancer. “Well, technically you are a shade of azure,” Twilight speculated, “Which is a combination of blue and green, but since the sky has a similar shade it is what ponies know in common vernacular as ‘blue’”. “Argh, okay okay!” Dash said in frustration. “I’m a... pony! I mean, a gryphon! I mean... I’m not lying to you, Twilight.” She gave Scootaloo a long look and repeated after a resigned sigh, “Scootaloo threw up a pony.” “That’s patently ridiculous,” Twilight admonished shaking her head, “If Scootaloo threw up a ...pony, then where is this ‘pony’ she threw up?” Dash didn’t answer. She just blinked and stared at Twilight incredulously. She lifted a hoof and pointed it at Twilight’s left side where Archer was curled. The little blue filly was too scared to meet Twilight’s eyes, looking every other direction but up. She–wait. Twilight looked at Dash, then looked at Archer, then looked at Dash and pulled her left front arm out, pointing a hoof at the filly in question. Dash nodded. “Archer,” Twilight prompted. Archer looked up in recognition saying, “Huh?” “Rainbow Dash, this is Archer,” Twilight said with a scolding sigh. “She just started school recently. Her parents just moved to Ponyville. She’s in Scootaloo’s class, haven’t you seen her before?” “I know what I saw,” Rainbow Dash insisted darkly. “There is no way that pony is Archer.” “N-n-no I am... Archer,” Archer said not so much protesting as admitting it. “What are you–” Scootaloo hissed at her. “I am Archer,” she insisted, looking Dash in the eye. “I’ve always been Archer. And I don’t... have parents.” Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash for confirmation. She would be able to tell if Archer–if this pony was lying. Dash had a twelfth sense for that sort of thing. And sure enough Rainbow was... just staring at Archer with an unbelieving look of shock on her face. “See Dash?” Twilight prompted helpfully, “This is just Archer. You sure you weren’t just–” Rainbow Dash’s eyes rolled up in the back of her head and she collapsed into the chair in a dead faint. Scootaloo’s life was over. Scootaloo’s life was over. The only pony who ever cared about her, the pony she loved most of all, she knew. She knew about Scootaloo’s horrible... thing that she had to do. Scootaloo was pushed aside as Twilight stood up and ran over to her fallen friend. Her real friend, not a fake one like Scootaloo. Scootaloo hated Archer for confirming it for Dash. She knew Archer hated herself too. That’s why she wanted to be Scootaloo most of the time and tried not to be Archer. Scootaloo had Rainbow Dash and two good friends who looked out for each other, and Archer just had... nopony would make friends with her. She didn’t want to join Scootaloo with the CMC either because it would have been way too confusing, and Scootaloo would surely have let something slip if she forgot which one of them she was at the time. It didn’t stop her from going to Archer for comfort now though. It was Scootaloo who had bucked up, and ruined everything for both of them, no for all of them. Thanks to Scootaloo just forgetting and being a big pig, now they had Dizzie to deal with and Bee. It seemed like every time she finally started getting herself together that something made one of them eat, and then another filly came out of her mouth. But that would have been fine if she could have just kept it a secret! Archer had just added fuel to this fallout, but it was Scootaloo’s stupid mouth that had started it. She hadn’t wanted to in a while, only doing it because she had to, but now she just wanted to crawl in there and just, be Archer for a while, and not have to worry about Scootaloo or Rainbow Dash or anything. But she couldn’t, because she was too bucking full! “Alright, this is getting way out of hand,” Twilight the purple said, standing up with a frazzled look in her hair. “Rainbow Dash is insensate. My window is ruined. The orphanage is no doubt in an uproar. The police probably think Rainbow Dash is a foalnapper.” She turned to look at the fillies with a pleading grin, saying “Don’t you girls think this has gone far enough? A joke’s a joke, but let’s be real here. What’s really going on? How did you scare Rainbow Dash like that? You were just playing pretend, right? This is all a game, right?” Scootaloo felt a light of hope flicker in her eyes when she realized Twilight still believed in her lies. “O-oh yeah yeah, sorry,” she said smiling totally convincingly, “We were just... trying to prank Rainbow Dash and it... heh heh uh...” She looked at Rainbow Dash lying there passed out, and... there was no hope. She already knew, and even if Rainbow Dash couldn’t convince Twilight then what did it matter? Rainbow Dash still hated her. “Buck it,” she said quietly. “Excuse me young filly?” Twilight said in an admonishing tone. “Rainbow Dash is right,” Scootaloo said looking down. “About everything.” Twilight stared quietly, with her lips tightly closed. Then Scootaloo noticed her horn was lighting up brightly. Scootaloo tried to shield herself with her hooves, scrambling to stand up or run away or something. Twilight Sparkle winked out in a pink flash of light, like she was never there in the first place. After a few seconds, Scootaloo peeked out behind her hooves. “...what?” she said, looking where Twilight was. “She disappeared!” Archer said in an awestruck tone. “Oh, she just teleported,” Scootaloo realized. “Twilight does that all the time, remember?” Archer looked confused but then her eyes lit up and she blushed with embarassment saying, “O-oh yeah. I haven’t been around her much.” They had a few more moment’s peace, before a painful squealing began to come from outside, coming closer and closer to the library. “...ow ow ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!” Twilight Sparkle came bursting into the library, shaking her coat off with little ceremony. Behind her she was dragging a familiar pink pony by the ear with her magic, literally dragging her leaving furrows in the ground.” “What is this?” Twilight demanded, shoving Pinkie in Archer’s face. “What do you mean, Twilight?” Pinkie asked shrilly, “Don’t you mean Scootaloo over there?” “This!” Twilight declared, waving a hoof at Archer demonstrably. The blue pony shrunk from the attention nervously. “How did you bake a cake that turned into this!” “What?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I baked a cake for Scootaloo! What are you talking about?” “Did you bake this filly into a cake?” Twilight demanded inches away from Pinkie’s face. She snapped her head to face Archer. “Did she bake you into a cake?!” Twilight demanded, shrilly. “I promise it was just mulberry leaves and marshmallow!” Pinkie protested, wiggling against her earstraint. “The perfect meal for a hungry–” “Did it teleport her?” Twilight interrogated Pinkie again, practically throttling her. “How could your cake teleport a filly into Scootaloo’s digestive tract? How could she survive that? How did you do it Pinkie?! Why did you do it??” No, actually she was literally throttling her. “Twi...light,” Pinkie grunted pushing against the unicorn who was trying to drag her up into her face again. “Can’t we just sit down and... talk about...” “She didn’t do it!!” yelled Scootaloo, standing on all four hooves and staring at Twilight angrily, “I did it!” Twilight looked at Scootaloo blankly, then dropped Pinkie letting her land heavily behind her. “What are you saying, Scootaloo?” she quavered laughing nervously. “You couldn’t do that! That doesn’t make any–” “I’m a freak!” Scootaloo screamed. She was vaguely aware of Archer running up and trying to pull her back, but she didn’t even care. “We’re a freak,” Archer said consolingly, “It’s not just you anymore. It’s OK Scootaloo, it’s OK...” “How is it okay?” Scootaloo snapped, a sob escaping her, but she didn’t fight against Archer anymore, just sitting there shaking. When she was calm enough, Archer released her, and Scootaloo looked up at the others, still defiant even in despair. Pinkie was the one looking at her with adoring respect though, not Twilight who just looked in shock, or Dash who was starting to snore. “Oh Scootaloo,” Pinkie said, “I’m so so so so so so sorry for scaring you. I just wanted you to have something you could eat.” She put a hoof on her heart saying, “I knew all along that you weren’t like other ponies, but that’s OK because you’re you and you’re a wonderful little filly, even if you can’t eat the same thing as other ponies.” “You don’t have to hide anymore,” Pinkie continued honestly, “You don’t have to be alone in this. We can help you. I won’t ever reject you for what you are, and neither will Twilight and neither will Rainbow Dash.” “Re–really?” Scootaloo asked, desperately wanting to believe her. “Really really,” Pinkie nodded. “Now drop that silly disguise so that we can finally get a good look at you!” Scootaloo stared uncomprehendingly. “...what disguise?” “I told you you don’t have to lie anymore,” said Pinkie, “So do your green magic thing. I don’t care if you’re an icky bug pony. That doesn’t matter to me at all!” Scootaloo blinked, then looked at Twilight. “She’s not a changeling, Pinkie,” Twilight said flatly. “What?!” Pinkie shrieked, “Sure she is! Why else would she like my delicious mmmp?” “Your delicious what?” “It’s a cake for bugs!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Uwehh, who turned out the lights?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, sitting up quickly as the damp cloth fell off her forehead revealing her eyes again. Twilight ignored her, fixing Pinkie’s gaze saying, “Changelings are not just bugs. They’re cursed fairies, and that curse is that they can only eat love.” “But I put plenty of love into that cake!” Pinkie Pie said, “I even played the oboe for it!” “Yeah, why did you do that?” Rainbow Dash asked curiously, hopping down from the chair. Pinkie shrugged, “It just seemed like a good idea at the time.” “No, they can’t eat any food,” Twilight corrected, “That’s why changelings never disguise themselves for long, because any pony can see through it by the fact that the pony in question cannot ...eat ...food.” Twilight actually looked at Scootaloo suspiciously before saying, “Hold that thought,” and running to the kitchen closet. She came back almost immediately with a bright red apple following behind in her magic. “Eat it,” she commanded, pushing it into Scootaloo’s hooves. Scootaloo balked, looking at the apple unhappily, “I don’t really want I mean I shouldn’t I don’t want to—” “Eat it or I will remove your disguise myself!” Twilight snapped angrily, “And I will make it as painful as possible,” she seethed. Scootaloo took a terrified bite of the apple. She chewed it slowly, savoring the juicy sweetness on her tongue despite how scared she felt. “Swallow it!” Twilight commanded. Scootaloo swallowed. Whimpering, she took another bite of the delicious apple, chewing and holding it up to Twilight as if it would stop the unicorn from lasering a hole through her. “There, you see?” Twilight said in a light pleased tone, in a completely different direction than Scootaloo, turning back to Pinkie Pie. “Not a changeling.” “But I saw her!” Pinkie exclaimed, “I saw her change her disguise! She went into a building all alone, and a different blue filly came out, and when I went into the building nopony was there!” “You mean that blue filly over there?” Rainbow Dash said pointing a hoof at Archer. “Yes! That blue filly over—” Pinkie stopped and gaped, looked confusedly between Archer and Scootaloo. “But– but how can you be different– but—” “I-It’s something we do when we’re not too um... full,” Archer said hesitantly trying to help. “I come out, and then she goes in, so it looks like only one... filly...” “We won’t do it anymore, I promise!” Scootaloo said to Pinkie, “It w-was only good for hiding anyway and it’s too late for that now! We’re not a changeling, I promise!” “What do you mean we’re?” Pinkie asked squinting at Scootaloo. “Oh, um, me and Archer,” Scootaloo clarified, “And... two others... but just until they can fit back inside me again.” “What is she talking about, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie complained, her pained grimace looking almost like actual contemplation. “A... contortion act, I think?” Twilight said desperately trying to find some rational anchor in this crazy evening. “Ohh, no,” Rainbow Dash denied her, standing up straighter, “That was no contortion act! Let me lay it out for you plain and simple, Twilight. Scootaloo was just fine. No Archer, no contortion act. Then I fed her Pinkie’s magic changeling cake. Then she runs away on a full stomach, let me tell you that kid was round. Then she throws it up, except that Pinkie’s cake changed into Archer, somehow.” “That’s the one thing that doesn’t make sense,” Twilight said, “Why would Pinkie’s cake specifically be enchanted to cause that to happen? What was so special about it?” Scootaloo ventured to speak up, saying “Iiit’s... it wasn’t special.” She looked at Twilight again, standing in front of Archer a bit defensively, saying “Pinkie’s cake wasn’t any more special than any other food.” “It was really really tasty though,” Archer added. Scootaloo nodded, “But, it doesn’t matter if it’s a cake or... any other food. It’s just... when I eat too much food at once, I get all weird feeling... and...” “And then I barf up a filly,” Archer finished her sentence, sticking out her tongue disgustedly. “I don’t know why I’m that way...” “It’s crazy!” Scootaloo added, “It doesn’t make sense! But it keeps happening.” “It’s bad, right?” Archer asked plaintively, “It’s so disgusting, it means I’m sick, right?” “I’m a freak!” they both yelled together, their ears going down in shame. The silence felt like the tolling of a funeral bell. “Y-you don’t have to give me flying lessons anymore,” Scootaloo said, looking up to Rainbow Dash, expecting a look of pure unadultrated horror. But when she saw Rainbow Dash, her idol didn’t look horrified at all. She saw a look of sorrow, and sympathy and a tremendous love. It almost looked like Dash was about to cry. Twilight Sparkle had a look of confused fascination, not horrified but captivated like she was about to erupt into questions. Twilight was probably about to erupt into questions. And Pinkie Pie the nicest of them all had a look of pure unadultrated horror. Wait. “You– you can’t be real!” Pinkie Pie said shrilly, backing up until her hindquarters hit the bookshelf, and then rearing up on her hind legs as the irregular lightning illuminated her. “You were supposed to be a myth!!” she yelled in terrified accusation. “Pinkie, calm down,” Twilight said gently, turning to address her friend. “Let’s just talk this out like calm rational—” “THEY’LL KILL US ALL!!” shrieked Pinkie, the overhead light flickering as her voice pierced the library. Everypony was struck dumb by the sheer force of Pinkie Pie’s emotion. Thunder rolled in the distance. Pinkie was the one who cut the silence, shouting “I have to get ready!” Then she bolted out the door like the legions of Tartarus were on her heels. Twilight was the next to react, running through the open doorway and circling the library, but Pinkie Pie was long gone, run off into the darkness, the sheeting rain impossible to see through. “We’ll have to track her down later,” Twilight muttered seriously. She turned and came carefully inside, shaking off casually then avoiding the slick wet floor that all these panicky wet fillies and mares were creating, herself now included. Rainbow Dash was the third to react as Twilight ran outside, blinking at a thought and asking Scootaloo in a bemused tone, “That happens to you like, all the time?” Scootaloo blushed, looking at the ground and trying to formulate her response without sounding totally horrid. “O-only when I eat too much,” she said, “That’s why I couldn’t eat your milkshak–I mean, your shake things.” Dash stuck her tongue out with a grimace saying, “What you did was like, the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” “It sucks,” Scootaloo agreed sorrowfully. “Oh I don’t know,” Dash said. Then she swept Scootaloo up in her hoof to whisper like she had a secret to share into Scootaloo’s ear. “I thought it was kind of awesome,” she whispered. “Awesome?!” Scootaloo squeaked, at a loss to comprehend Dash’s reaction to that, and out of sorts with being warmly hugged by her too. “What do you mean?” “It was like the grossest thing I’ve ever seen?” Dash said as if it were obvious. “How could that not be awesome?” she said, smushing up Scootaloo’s hair with her hoof. “Dash! Cut it out~” Scootaloo protested, laughing despite herself. Dash winged Scootaloo up on her back, and took a look at Archer, who was watching them both with an unreadable expression. “Hey come on,” Dash said, “You too.” She stuck her hoof out at Archer who backed up a step in surprise. Scootaloo’s heart stopped. Archer walked up to Rainbow Dash slowly, looking sideways at her warily. “Gotcha!” the older pegasus said, sweeping Archer up in her hoof and tossing her back onto the impromptu wing slide where she joined Scootaloo sitting on Rainbow Dash’s back. Scoots couldn’t believe what she was feeling. She never thought she would ever get a pony ride before, with herself! “Now I just have to figure out how I’m gonna adopt you both,” Dash said with a toss of her mane. “You mean you still—!” Scootaloo’s shock bubbled into excitement. “Dash, what are you doing?!” came Twilight’s alarmed cry, whereupon Scootaloo found herself and Archer both unceremoniously torn off of Dash’s flank by a powerful pink magic field. There was a pop, and the field turned into a spherical barrier in which Scootaloo was now floating weightlessly. She could see through it, over to a separate one for Archer, with just enough room to contain each of them. “What are you doing, Twilight?!” Dash shouted from outside the bubbles, “Let them go!” “Didn’t you hear what Pinkie said?!” Twilight snapped back, “They’re dangerous!” “Let,” Dash said rushing at Twilight, “Them” she said smacking the unicorn’s horn with a hoof, “Go!” and the barriers around Scootaloo and Archers disappeared with another pop. Before Archer could hit the ground, there was a fourth pop. Now the pink sphere was huge, encompassing Archer, Scootaloo, a piece of the end table, and Rainbow Dash herself. “Let me out, Twilight!” Scootaloo’s brave defender said, hurling herself at the barrier at pitiful speeds. Twilight had her trapped though, it looked like. Without room to build up speed, a pegasus in a force bubble was just as disadvantaged as a unicorn would be, trying to fight in close quarters with an earth pony who had a pointy stick. Scootaloo in comparison was pretty much just disadvantaged, period. “Let her go!” Twilight shouted, not at Rainbow Dash, but at ...her? Why was Twilight shouting at Scootaloo? “What do you mean, Twilight?” Scootaloo whimpered, hanging limply there at the top of the bubble. “You must have enchanted her!” Twilight asserted to the filly, “Just like the changeling queen!” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. How was she going to– how could she ever prove to Twilight that she didn’t enchant Rainbow Dash? She didn’t! She didn’t, right? She looked at Rainbow Dash worriedly, who was still snorting and steaming mad. “D-d-dash uh, don’t uh, hurt... Miss Twilight?” Scootaloo tried saying, having no idea what to do, “I mean... wake up? Be okay? Snap out of it!” “I’m not enchanted!” snapped Dash, kicking the barrier, which of course just sent her careening to the other side of it, instead of putting any force on the barrier itself. “Seriously, Twilight,” Rainbow said mockingly, “You know me, don’t you? I wouldn’t let you hurt them, even if I wasn’t enchanted!” “Which I’m not!” Rainbow Dash added hotly, crossing her forelegs while rotated upside down. “I wasn’t going to hurt them,” Twilight said sounding miffed, “It’s just a necessary precaution. You heard what Pinkie said.” “Pinkie says a lot of things!” Dash countered, “It’s just not true! Why can’t you just see these are just a couple of fillies?” “Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said accusingly, “This is a big. Deal. Ponies could die.” “But just look at them!” Dash yelled, gesturing up at the helpless fillies hanging there in the air, buzzing their wings to stay upright. Scootaloo didn’t even want to think about how pitiful she looked. “Pinkie said the K-word” Twilight declared, “You know what that means?!” “But it’s Pinkie!” Dash protested. She was flailing to stay upright in the zero gravity. It was easy for Scootaloo and Archer to stay upright, since their wings didn’t need any space at all. They could just buzz to correct any listing or rotation. Though Archer didn’t have enough wingpower to hold up her own weight, in this bubble there wasn’t any weight at all. Though if Twilight stopped casting it... worriedly, Scootaloo hooked her hoof around Archer’s and held her aloft so she wouldn’t fall again. Outside, Twilight blushed, and said “I know it’s... Pinkie, but even though her ways are strange, I still trust her judgement! When has she ever led us into disaster?” “Uh,” Dash looked at Twilight like she was stupid. “Remember the chocolate rain?” Twilight’s lips firmed. “Fine,” she said, “But that was one time, and that was an evil god! Every other time Pinkie has–” “Except the Gala,” “That was all our faults!” “Remember how long it took you to disenchant the Cake twins?” “Uh,” “And Princess Luna’s first Nightmare Night,” “Yeah that–” “Remember Appleoosa?” Twilight’s eye twitched. “Fine!” she shouted, turning around and cancelling the spell. Dash remained in the air while Archer dragged Scootaloo down in a controlled fall. “Let’s just ignore everything Pinkie says,” Twilight sneered, “That surely won’t have any consequences, whatsoever! What’s a few dead ponies!” “Twilight, come on...” Dash said, fluttering down to her. Twilight closed her eyes and sighed, managing to relax just a little bit. “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said, turning to look at Rainbow with a consternated face, “But... I mean...” Twilight let the bit of mane in her mouth she was chewing on drop out, exclaiming, “She threw up a pony!” Dash was unmoved. “I’ve never seen Pinkie so upset,” Twilight said softly, “She wasn’t joking, you could tell that!” “I uh, yeah...” Dash admitted, “I don’t know what Pinkie’s problem is. These are just a couple of hurt fillies. What could possibly go wrong?” “I don’t know, Dash...” Twilight trailed off thoughtfully, “...but maybe they do.” And then she was towering over Scootaloo, to whom Archer was clinging, saying in a less than friendly voice, “Why would Pinkie Pie think you are going to kill us all?” “We would never” Scootaloo started, but Twilight interrupted saying, “I don’t want to know if you would. I want to know how you could...” Twilight said, trailing off again in thought. “I don’t, uh,” Scootaloo really couldn’t think of any way that she could kill a pony. What was she supposed to do, diet them to death? “Maybe like changelings?” Archer suggested. “We weren’t I mean, we were just doing it to hide, but we could trick ponies into thinking we were other... fillies... maybe?” Twilight got a distant look in her eyes, and then shook her head, “No, no that’s a terrible idea.” “I’m sorry,” said Archer disappointedly. Twilight looked down saying, “Oh, not you Archer I meant... never mind.” “In the absence of a way to test your good intentions, I can only think of one thing to do,” Twilight instructed, pacing over to the door to the basement. Flinging it open she said excitedly, “Examine you!” with a huge smile on her face. “Uggh,” Rainbow Dash pulled her face down as Twilight ushered the fillies eagerly into her basement. Dash followed after, resignedly. She figured it was important for her to be there, so that if it got too boring she could probably knock Twilight unconscious and escape with the fillies before they all died of boredom. Twilight’s private underground laboratory was well stocked with beakers, phials, tubes full of strange colored liquids and bubbling crucibles. Something was making sparks travel up two wires noisily. Scootaloo was utterly fascinated with the mysterious apparati. Twilight then lit up her horn and quickly dismantled everything, stoppering all flasks, extinguishing all crucibles, turning off the Jacob’s Ladder and packing all chemicals dangerous or otherwise securely into individual locked drawers, leaving... a basement. With a countertop table. “Alright, up you go!” Twilight said brightly, patting the tabletop. Scootaloo couldn’t help but feel disappointed for some reason. She and Archer jumped up on the table, but Twilight fluttered Archer back to the floor saying, “No no, not you yet. I just want to look at the mother first.” “That’s not quite, uh...” Archer said, but not loud enough for Twilight to take notice. So Scootaloo had to stand there awkwardly by herself, while Twilight paced around the table, squinting and peering at Scootaloo from all angles. “Hmm.” “Hmm.” “Hmm.” “Hmm...?” “Uh...” Scootaloo said uncomfortably, especially with where Twilight was looking right now. “Am I uh...?” “Could you lift your tail, Scootaloo?” she asked politely. For some reason, the comment made Rainbow Dash’s whole face blush, which Scootaloo didn’t understand at all. Rainbow Dash wasn’t the one getting examined here! “Uh, adults are not supposed to touch us there,” Scootaloo said uncertainly, doubly uncertainly because she really didn’t mind being touched there. But it was something adults were usually really serious about. “Don’t worry, it’s for science,” Twilight mumbled distractedly, trying to peer under Scootaloo’s tail already. “Just really quick?” “Sure, no problem,” Scootaloo said bravely, eyeing Dash uncertainly and hiking her tail up in the air, then presenting her rear. Twilight looked under Scootaloo’s tail, but didn’t seem satisfied, so she poked Scootaloo’s butt with a hoof, making Scootaloo giggle. Twilight’s magic lightly lifted Scootaloo’s entire rump into the air, spreading her buttcheeks wide as Twilight poked and prodded in there. “That’s very inappropriate, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said loudly and angrily, stepping forward. Twilight’s magic quickly left Scootaloo’s butt and Twilight lifted Scootaloo up in a hoof, by her own raised tail, waving Scootaloo butt first in front of Dash and saying, “No! Look!” There was a pause whereupon Rainbow Dash said warily from behind Scootaloo, “What am I supposed to be looking at?” “What do you see?” insisted Twilight. Archer was looking up at Scootaloo dangling there by her tail mouthing the words, “What are they doing?” Scootaloo just shrugged and smiled awkwardly. “I don’t see anything, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said in an irritated tone. “Are you some kind of perv—” “Exactly!” Twilight declared, setting Scootaloo on the table again. Scootaloo clutched her tail in her front hooves, looking at the two adults uneasily. “There’s nothing there!” the purple unicorn concluded. Scootaloo looked from Twilight to Dash, who was going from irritated, to puzzled, to starting to awaken with realization right there. “What? Really??” Dash asked astonishedly, then unexpectedly trotted forward and yanked up Scootaloo’s tail again peering between her legs. Was there something wrong with Scootaloo’s butt?! “You gotta be kidding me...” Dash said, trailing off in disbelief. She released Scootaloo’s tail, looking at her face to face and saying, “How did you ever pass a physical?” “I-is there something wrong with my butt?” Scootaloo asked. “The adults aren’t allowed to touch me down there,” she added somewhat accusingly, getting guilty looks from Twilight and Dash, “So they can’t exactly look.” “Yeah, but your gynecological exam?” Dash queried pushily, “How did–oh right, your parents are supposed to schedule those.” “gyneco-what?” Scootaloo said confusedly. “Gynecological,” Twilight prompted, “It refers to the ancient sheep term gynh which was originally used to refer to a ewe back in the days of Baathens. That’s a female sheep, by the way. Gynecology is the study of that which is specific to female creatures, and since very little differs in basic structure between male and female beyond the reproductive organs, it often refers specifically to reproductive organs alone. As such, a gynecological exam will be to examine the health of your reproductive organs.” “Reproductive organs?” Scootaloo asked testily. “You mean like my stomach?” Twilight smiled and opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Then she closed it again. Then she opened her eyes, looking at nothing and blinking confusedly. Then she looked at Scootaloo with sudden realization gleaming in her eyes. Rushing back to the table Scootaloo was on, Twilight hastily ordered out, “Open your mouth!” That did make Scootaloo blush, and she crossed a hoof, looking sideways at Twilight saying “Uh- uh I dunno it—” “This is important!” Twilight explained urgently. “Y-you really need to look in there?” Scootaloo mumbled. “Of course,” Twilight said looming up intently, brandishing in her magic a round mirror on a silver stick, a glowing light at the end of another stick, and a rod with a sort of metal hook on the end of it. Scootaloo just... barely cracked her mouth open and Twilight paused saying, “No I need you to open wide. I can’t see in there.” Scootaloo bit her lip, then sighed, opening her mouth wide to let Twilight see in there. “Woah!” she heard Rainbow Dash’s startled shout. She couldn’t see Dash though. It was hard to see around her mouth, when it was open like this. Scootaloo shivered in anticipation, expecting Twilight’s instruments to... to manipulate her in there, but she wasn’t feeling anything. She could see the round mirror at the edge of her vision still hovering there forgotten in Twilight’s magic. “What the buck am I looking at?” Twilight uttered blankly.