The look on Twilight's face was priceless. That look of "are you fucking insane?" or "I can't believe you're serious." It was a look that never stopped being amusing to the leader of the Saints. And with big, expressive eyes like hers, Twilight's expression was nothing short of glorious. But before this unicorn could try to object, the Boss was off at full speed, forcing the equine to hang on first.
From the ground, though, their foe looked a lot more imposing, never mind majestic. That white coat, with the endlessly flowing, multicolored mane, and just... her shape... She didn't quite have the words to describe who she was about to kill, but she wouldn't have minded a minute or two more to watch this "princess." Not that she would have tried.
"Boss!" Kinzie's voice rang out suddenly and harshly, getting the human to slow down and hide behind a wall. "You need to watch out for Twilight. If she dies, the Simulation will reset and trap you!"
---
Twilight could hear everything that this voice was saying, and it did - in fact - worry her. She didn't want anypony... or whatever the "President" was to get hurt on her account. Even being well within her rights to be selfish, Twilight began to wonder if there was a better way.
She could offer herself up... but that would lead to her death and would trap her savior anyway. She could try to convince her to leave, but Twilight didn't exactly like the idea of continuing the vicious cycle of delaying her own murder.
Her train of thought was interrupted when the President shifted her off of her back, sighing as she peeked around a corner. Twilight hesitated briefly, then took a look herself: nopony there.
"I got that," the biped stated, crossing her arms. "Got any other advice for me?"
"Don't die."
"You're such a great help."
"I know. Good luck."
Twilight's curiosity was now screaming for answers about who the President was talking to, and why she could also hear it, but she put it aside. "Miss President?" she spoke up instead, getting a mostly blank look from the creature. "Is there something I can do to help? I... can't use my magic, but I can't just sit idly by and let you..." The unicorn paused and grimaced, like the words she needed were bitter on her tongue. "... fight Princess Celestia on your own..."
---
The Boss raised an eyebrow as this appropriately purple, slightly cute, previously frightened unicorn offered her help. Now, she had never been great at reading people. She'd been good enough to keep herself and her crew alive in the past, but she could never really do it well. Hell, in Steelport, Viola DeWynter's offer of assistance was immensely risky and she later realized such.
Regardless, the way Twilight Sparkle struggled to say that wasn't missed. Twilight obviously found the concept alien and terrible, yet was bearing it anyway.
"... Good question," she admitted aloud, though she stopped brainstorming as soon as she heard hoofsteps nearby. She pressed herself against the wall and made the unicorn follow suit. The Boss lowered her voice to a whisper. "Just stay close to me for now. Watch my back, and if I tell you to run, you fucking run. Got it?"
Twilight nodded and audibly swallowed, starting to watch the area vigilantly as the stepping got closer. The President pulled out her SMGs and aimed them forward as she peered around that corner again.
Her guns poked a pony right in the nose. Simply on reflex, she pulled the trigger and reduced its head to mush. The sound of gunfire, of course, drew the rest of the army's attention like zombies to a screaming idiot.
"Time to kick this fucker off!" the Boss shouted with a grin, reloading her SMGs and spinning them once for style before beginning to unload on the horde of shiny armor-clad ponies.
---
Twilight ran over those instructions in her head as the President suddenly began firing, trying to keep herself calm, focused, and alert. The sounds of death just around the corner - never mind the volume of the biped's weapons - weren't making it easy, but she'd make do. She spared a glance up at the black clad female to see her backing up. Immediately, Twilight began to back away from that corner, fearing that the army was gaining ground.
And she was right. A few seconds later, the building they were hiding behind just a few seconds before had its back wall knocked out, ponies with spears and swords charging towards the furless creature. "Look out!" she cried in warning, seeing her savior immediately react by throwing one of those icy blasts somewhere between the advancing groups. As soon as it impacted on the ground, anypony within about ten yards was frozen solid in a thin layer of perfectly formed ice.
The President then put more of... whatever she was putting into her weapons in and fired at several of the immobilized equines, and she watched as they all began to shatter in a deadly domino effect. Truthfully, Twilight would have cheered if she wasn't constantly watching for more attackers or scared for her life.
---
The Boss was disappointed. Her Blasts had had more effect back in virtual Steelport. That Blast should have frozen both lines entirely. Then again, she had only collected enough clusters for Kinzie to recreate her powers in Twilight's Simulation, so she would have to deal.
Not that it mattered. The ponies kept coming, a swarm of spears flying through the air and spectacularly missing their mark. The human jumped back and grit her teeth, turning around to grab her unicorn charge and run. Ignoring the bookworm's surprised protests, she left the equine army in the dust as she took off towards the north.
After a few seconds of sprinting, she stopped and let Twilight down before producing her EM Railgun from her "radial." She took aim quickly and squeezed the trigger, hot, green blasts firing from her preferred rifle. The ranks of the advancing army began to very slowly thin out as she scored many a headshot, ignoring the curious expression of the unicorn next to her. If she didn't know any better, she'd say this little pony had never seen a gun before.
As her last shot left her rifle and she ejected her spent magazine, though, she got a better look at her opposition... the shining armor and weapons of the attacking ponies made it impossible to tell just how many of them there were. And more of them were streaming out of alleyways still to join the huge mass of their Princess' forces.
And the Princess wasn't far behind them, though was obviously taking care not to step on her troops. The Boss pulled the bolt on her railgun and opened fire on the Princess herself. The hot, green bolts of railgun-y plasma tore through the air and hit the aesthetically pleasing equine. However, on impact, the shots made a previously hidden blood red shield ripple against the winged unicorn's body, the ripple traveling the length of her body and vanishing in its own wake.
The Boss frowned. This was a new one, and it could only mean two things. Either Zinyak decided that a red shield was more fashionable, or this was an upgraded version. Jugding by the faint cursing coming out over the audio system, courtesy of her Press Secretary, she wisely went with the latter.
Knowing that Kinzie was probably working on a fix, she tried the next logical thing. The President yelled a hasty "back up!" to her unicorn charge before crouching a little and thrust her arms downwards. As she did so, fire arced from her body, the blazing Buff setting some ponies on fire while Twilight mysteriously and inconspicuously remained not-on-fire.
The human took aim and began unloading on the steadily advancing Princess, her Buff helping to deter most of the anciently armed and armored ponies while her now incendiary railgun blasts battered down the white equine's shield to set her ablaze.
Except that was the ideal scenario, and only half happened. The shield remained. It also held up against a couple of icy blasts and no less than eight far flung foothoofsoldiers. "Shit."
---
That one little curse from the President told Twilight all she needed to know. Even with the frightening power that she was exhibiting (the unicorn had idly compared her abilities to a battle magic demonstration she had seen as a filly), the massive Princess was advancing unfazed.
She quietly cursed her lack of magic, and inability to assist. That she couldn't do anything to assist her savior in any way other than a second set of eyes frustrated her greatly, to the point where she began to pace and stomp the ground around her. The noisy battle began to take a backseat in her mind as she contemplated her situation. And, moreover, began to distract herself from her own peril by wondering about the "President of the United States."
She assumed that this "United States" was a country of some kind, though didn't recognize the name of it anywhere. Twilight wondered about Ponyville, too. This obviously wasn't her own Ponyville, since she had been getting butchered for the last... the last..
The Saints colored pony bowed her head a little sadly; she had lost track of time rather quickly once that huge, bipedal creature had kidnapped her and put her in this place... Come to think of it, the President seemed somewhat similar to her captor, discounting gender, size, skin texture and the like... Was her savior the same species?
What was that species? Where was it from? Where did the President learn to fight so well? How did her weapons work? Where the heck did she keep all of them? Did they have hidden holsters that she couldn't see or did she have some kind of PInkie Pie-ish ability to produce things from seemingly nowhere? Why was she wearing so many bits of clothing? Why was there hair only on the top of her head? What was with those lumps on her chest?
These were just some of the questions that Twilight's now half-idle mind produced. So lost in thought was she that she didn't take notice of anything around her until her bipedal savior sped over to her, picked her up, and began running away. Princess Celestia had nearly stomped on them, and a miriad of ponies lay dead near her feet while the army's remaining force still charged.
---
"So, it's not working," the Boss uttered irately, speeding towards the other side of Ponyville while readying her sniper rifle from her virtual weapon radial for use when they would stop. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke again. "Kinzie, you uh... you having some problems up there?"
"Oooh, I'd say so..." a male voice with a classy accent drawled over the audio system, making the human growl frustratedly.
"Dammit, Zinyak!"
"How do you like your equine opponents?" the Zin emperor continued with unhidden smugness.
"Oh, they're great!" she lied. "So easy to kill!"
"Excellent! Then I trust you'll have no troubles whatsoever. Ta taaa~"
"-ODDAMMIT! BOSS!" Kinzie's voice rang out loudly over the audio system loudly, getting both females to grimace.
"Kinzie, stop raping my ears!" the Boss yelled back, receiving a pause before Kinzie replied.
"Oh, there you are. Zinyak upgraded his shielding a bit. Turns out there's no way to take it down," the former fed said in a remarkably calm tone of voice.
"You're awfully level headed about it," the leader of the Saints commented lowly, ignoring the now panicked noises Twilight was making about the news.
"Oh, no, I'm absolutely livid. I need you and Twilight to just stay alive while I find a way around it."
"Easy enough," came the black clad woman's response, skidding to a halt at the other end of town while Celestia's army and the mare herself came into view. Her sniper rifle was leveled at the mob of Roman legion-esque ponies, peering through the scope. At this distance, even the maximum magnification level did little for her aim, but still, the first bullet found purchase squarely in the jaw of a generic pegasus.
A little chuckle escaped the Boss' lips. "I always win my arguments," she emitted with a grin as Twilight slipped off of her shoulders, mumbling something about her hearing. Again and again she fired, picking off the giant white horse's troops in rapid succession. Regardless of the rate of fire and how... inaccurate she was actually being, most of her shots hit something, thanks to how clustered up the ponies were.
Fourteen shots later, she ejected her clip and pressed a fresh clip into its place, pulling the bolt before grinning. She thrust her hands downward to use her Buff power, lightning replacing fire as it arced out a few yards from where she stood (still leaving Twilight Sparkle unharmed somehow). Bracing herself forward and tightening her hold on the rifle's grip and foregrip, she began pulling the trigger as fast as her well trained finger would allow.
She was no world record shooter, but she didn't need to be. As the electrified bullets hit their marks, voltage began quickly frying ponies within their armor as it spread among the ranks. And seeing no reason to let up, she slammed another clip into the receiver and tugged the bolt hard to resume the rapid fire.
Another fourteen rounds and at least three dozen more dead ponies later, she ejected another spent clip, reloading once more and pulling the trigger. Only one shot fired, and the rest of the pulls just resulted in clicks. "... Awww... I was having fun..." the Boss expressed, switching back to her railgun and beginning to open fire.
---
Twilight's ears were still ringing from her savior's rapid firing weapon's discharges, but she was certain she'd heard the President say that she was "having fun." Her mind began swimming with moral and logical objections to the concept. Which wasn't unheard up at home, mind you. There were some truly bloodthirsty ponies out there, and the Griffons were notorious for hunting for sport, or even endorsing to-the-death gladitorial fights in the heart of their empire.
But the way the President said it seemed somewhat childish - like a filly being disappointed in a toy's malfunction. And that disturbed her... She was finding herself wondering about her savior now...
"M-Miss President?" she piped up as the biped swore and swapped one weapon out for another. It must be that thing that Pinkie does, she idly noted. "After you get me out, what's going to happen to me?"
---
The Boss heard that nervous question only because her railgun was quieter than most of her other weapons. Even still, she didn't even look at the unicorn, prioritizing murder time over questions.
Still, though, "Miss President"... she had forgotten how fucking awesome it was to be called that (or "Madame President" by some).
"When you get out, I'm gonna come to get you," she answered, not noticing the quizzical expression the mare now wore in place of her anxious one.
"From where?" she quipped again.
The Boss threw a green Blast of some kind that caused some of the ponies to start attacking their allies. "Zinyak's ship. You'll be naked and slimy and probably nauseous. It'll pass, though."
The human woman could now see Twilight in her peripheral vision, her expression unsure. "... Are... Are you going to... to kill me?" the unicorn asked, this time in a voice that she barely heard.
"I thought I said I wasn't planning on it. I did, right Kinzie?" she responded.
"Busy," Kinzie shot back, the furious tapping of keys clearly audible while she spoke.
"I know, I know..." Twilight emitted, now wearing a very nervous smile as she tapped the ground with her front right hoof. In different circumstances, the leader of the Saints might have interpreted such body language quite differently. "I mean... after I get out... You said you were having fun wh-... when you were killing those ponies..."
Before the Boss could reply or defend herself or preemptively call herself a "puckish rogue" like she now wanted to, she saw fit to grab Twilight again and start running first. "Before you call me a sociopath, I like 'puckish rogue' better." This statement didn't do anything to calm the unicorn's nerves, eliciting a sigh from the President. "No, I'm not gonna kill you. If I wanted to kill you, I would've done it already."
"... Oh...Okay..." Twilight hid her eyes behind the Boss' voluminous hair.
---
Ten minutes had passed since that conversation and things were looking... awkward. The Boss was now out of railgun ammo with no chance of a reload. She had her pistols, SMGs, shotgun and H.M.D., but they weren't suited to their situation.
That ammo hadn't been spent in vain, however. The army that Princess Celestia commanded before was now no more than a dozen ponies. Ponies that persisted in charging at the woman and the mare blindly.
Twilight Sparkle hadn't said a thing to her beyond the occasional warning or the even more occasional unintelligible mumbling. Kinzie had been silent, too. That worried the Boss more than anything. Eventually, though, the silence was broken by Kinzie's British hacker partner (she imagined Kinzie cringing like a bitch at that last word).
"I have good news and bad news," he began, though was cut off by the President's humorless interjection.
"I need good news, Matt."
"... Right," Matt uttered awkwardly. "Princess Celestia -" The way he uttered that name held respect. "- is unkillable. Buuuut... we have a way around it. I've constructed another Simulation. I think you'll like it. I need you to get the Princess back to the town square. When you're there, we'll change the Simulation you're in into something that she can be killed in."
"And this took so long because...?" the Boss interjected with a raised eyebrow, noting idly that Twilight seemed fascinated and confused by their conversation.
"Hey, putting together a whole new Simulation where Celestia can be killed isn't as easy as it sounds. Kinzie and I worked as quickly as we could... That, and I wanted Mister Keith David to help with something."
"Keith? What did he do?"
Matt chuckled to himself and the Boss heard the sound of a perfect hi-five in the background. "Oh, I think you'll like it, Boss..."
The human female couldn't hide her big, excited grin. After seeing what Matt could do with a simulation (the recreation of Genkibowl he made still amazed her), she couldn't wait.
"What is he talking about?" Twilight uttered in her ear as she made a sharp left turn and leaped into the air to glide towards the town square and its objective marker.
"Matt found a way to kill the royal glue factory," she replied with undisguised glee.
---
Twilight opened her mouth to ask another question, but as they landed at the ruins of one building, isolated from the others, she figured it would be more worth it to just observe. Clinging to the biped had been tiring.
She slid off of her shoulders and grimaced as the President's first known weapons were aimed at her homicidal idol and fired almost nonstop. The rapid firing hurt her ears even more, and she would have slumped down to cover them if she wasn't convinced that doing so would kill her.
---
Princess Celestia shrugged off the bullets, but she expected that. The Boss was growing impatient in her excitement to see what Matt, Kinzie, and Keith David had cooked up.
The moment that Celestia's surviving troops appeared, the Boss turned her sights to them, easily dispatching them in short order. Not long after, Celestia herself stepped into the town square, electing not to say anything in favor of trying to stomp on the human and the unicorn.
"Get ready!" Matt excitedly declared before everything went white.
---
They found themselves in a great, ruined hall, sunlight streaming through broken, but standing stained glass windows. Twilight immediately identified it as the Princess' throne room, though found that she could only see three walls. There was no fourth wall, and in its place was a white void that somehow did not give off any light or reflect off what parts of the floor still shined.
Music started to play as the President of the United States appeared seemingly from nowhere. She walked into frame and stopped. The biped grinned a huge grin and removed her sunglasses, tossing them to Twilight (whom caught them in her teeth) and flipping her hair back over her shoulders. "Ooooooh I'm gonna enjoy this~" she uttered lowly and excitedly, bringing up her fists and adopting a fighting stance.
On the the other side of the room, Twilight saw Princess Celestia appear, now normal sized and standing just a little taller than the President. She faced away from the bipedal with her eyes closed for a moment, though the frame zoomed in on her face as they opened. The next showed the alicorn walking into frame and fiercely spreading her wings, lighting her horn, and taking a stance of her own. "Fool," she uttered with icy certainty.
The room went dark for a fraction of a second before the President of the United States and Princess Celestia began moving.
---
"Ready!" Keith David's voice uttered lowly and loudly, making the Boss smile like a kid at Christmas.
"Matt, you're the fucking best!" she cried, advancing on the advancing equine and jumping just as Keith's voice sounded again.
"FIGHT!"
The second that that word was cried, the Boss delivered a harsh kick to Celestia's horn, landing and beginning to furiously punch the alicorn over and over again. Right, left, elbow, left hook, right hook transitioned seamlessly into a fierce x-slice with her green energy sword and a spinning back kick to Celestia's jaw to send her spinning back.
"Monster combo!!" Keith's voice sounded enthusiastically as the winged unicorn swiftly recovered and dashed in for retaliation. A flurry of hoof strikes were leveled at the Boss, and she blocked them naturally, still grinning from ear to ear like a damn fool.
Then Celestia went low. It hurt.
Front left, front right, horn scratch, horn stab, stab, stab, full back buck, five magic bolts ("Away!"), front right uppercut, double front hoof stomp, all of which culminated in a final harsh horn stab and a flesh searing blast of magic that floored the Boss.
"Beastly combo!!" came Keith's spine shivering cry.
The human stood up immediately and jumped away, appearing no worse for wear in spite of the harsh beating she herself had just endured, never mind the fading blood splatters on the floor. She thrust her hand out towards the alicorn, a Blast of ice sailing towards her opponent. The human then followed the icy projectile in, watching with a satisfied laugh as the alicorn blocked its icy impact.
The Boss produced one of her alien pistols from the "radial" and fired it at Celestia's hooves after a quick duck, then dropped it to start attacking. She threw several jabs at the equine's midsection, but was cut off by a harsh, sudden buck that knocked her into the air.
"C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!"
"Urghh...so that's what that feels like..." the Boss mused as she spun onto her feet, leaping in aggressively.
---
Twilight Sparkle had never wondered how her mentor would look while engaging in hoof to hoof combat. Now that she was watching it happen, even at the President's expense, she had to admit that it was spectacular! The way her alicorn idol moved, hitting with her front hooves, scratching and stabbing with her horn, turning around to buck, or even striking with her wings was mesmerising in itself.
The President was interesting to watch, too. She had heard things about how Diamond Dogs fought, and that was her comparison for how this biped moved and attacked. But she also had her weapons; those little ones from before, those icy Blasts, that strange, glowing, Neighponese looking sword... It was a treat to watch.
As the President of the United States and Princess Celestia clashed, Twilight Sparkle smiled a little and just observed, absently putting on the Boss' sunglasses as she did so. She enjoyed the violent spectacle and not once did she ever question that.
---
Celestia cried out in pain as the Boss took her down, taking that brief moment of respite to speak to Matt. "Matt, I want my bat," she uttered with a sly grin.
"Oh! ... Erm... of course! One moment!" the British guy replied as Celestia shot up.
"Ready."
A familiar weight appeared in her hands: a heavy, floppy fake tentacle on a stick. Great for its intended use, but completely impractical as a sex aid. The Boss backed up with it as the bat flopped around uselessly, producing her energy sword from her radial and tossing it away to be replaced by the novelty weapon.
"FIGHT!"
Celestia dashed in hard and started trying to strike the human, while said human blocked where she was able and went in for a grab. Grabbing Celestia's mane with her free hand and brandishing the Violator, she knee-d the winged unicorn in the throat to force her to open her mouth. Then, ignoring the impracticality of such use, the Boss brutally shoved as much of the tentacle bat into the Princess' muzzle as she could. Of course, it wouldn't do to just choke Celestia out. No, she then punched the equine in the throat again and withdrew the absurd bludgeon.
The human didn't let up on the alabaster equine, either, immediately moving in to begin attacking.
Left, right, left, right jab, Violator swing, twice, thrice, five shots from an SMG... She paused time to reload her SMG, emitting a cocky "Murder time, Fun time!" before continuing.
She began repeatedly shooting and kicking the majestic mare, voltage and blood coming off of her just before she tried to stab her out of the combo.
The Boss was ready this time. A broken orb of light closed in on the human as she caught the mare's horn, yelling a devious "No you don't!" as she began hitting Celestia again; harder, faster, more eagerly.
"C-C-C-C-COUNTER BREAKER!!" Keith David screamed energetically as the President of the United States furiously beat the winged unicorn down with gunshots, punches, kicks, and icy Blasts.
Many, many seconds later, the combo ended with the Boss whipping out her shotgun to blast Princess Celestia in the face and send her flying. "Goooodlike combo!" Keith David uttered lowly in what she could only describe as "metal voice." She dashed in quickly and expertly blocked the equine's fierce counter attack, catching Celestia in the chest with her oddly dry Violator. She grinned an evil grin and drew the bat back swiftly.
"LET'S GOOOO!" she yelled as a wave of green light rapidly waved out from around her feet and into the surroundings.
Out came the guns! She began rapidly shooting the Princess of the Sun with her pistols, then dropped them in favor of rapid body blows. Then the came her shotgun, smashing Celestia in the face with the barrel before pulling the trigger and sending her skyward. And as quickly as she could, she dropped the shotgun and reached behind her, pulling out a very tiny pistol and aiming it at the seemingly unconscious mare. She pulled the trigger, and was subsequently floored while red painted the walls and floor.
"ULLLTRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Keith screamed as the Boss kipped back onto her feet, grinning like a madwoman. She gazed briefly at the mangled, bloody corpse of the Princess, holstering her absurdly tiny pistol. Before turning to look at Twilight Sparkle.
The look on her face was incredible; a mix of wonder, awe, and intrigue adorned her face as she stood there with her mouth slightly agape.
The leader of the Saints grinned and chuckled, crossing her arms. "Ready to go, Twilight?" she quipped.
The mare said nothing for several seconds, giving the Boss ample time to pluck her sunglasses off of Twilight's face and to replace them upon her own.
"... Good answer. Kinzie!"
"Already on it, boss," Kinzie replied busily.
"T-That was..." was all poor Twilight could manage.
Twilight Sparkle's Simulation released its invader and its captive one minute later.