My Little Chrono Triggers Are Magic

by Pav Feira

Fiendish Folk

Rainbow Dash and her friends tumbled out of the closet, crashing in an unceremonious heap on the floor.

“Ouch,” Rainbow Dash groaned emphatically from the bottom of the ponypile.

Behind them, the swirling Gate weakened and reverted to its dormant state. The Gate condensed within the confines of the closet, creating a vacuum which pulled the closet’s wooden doors shut. The four friends slowly unpiled from atop one another.

“Oh my,” said Fluttershy. “Is time travel always this unpleasant?”

Twilight Sparkle squirmed and twisted, trying to adjust her saddlebags into a more comfortable position. “Not usually. The first couple of trips were relatively peaceful, but these last few...” She arched her back, accompanied by a few stiff cracks.

Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side. “Really, though, who would put their Gate in a closet? It’s so easy to trip and hurt yourself. Gates should really be placed someplace safe.”

“Ah! Twilight, good news,” said Fluttershy. “My sensors are working again. It seems that we’re back in 1000 AD, just like The Doctor said.”

“Great! We can head back to my house and start doing some research.” Twilight Sparkle frowned as she looked around the room. “Speaking of which, whose house are we in? We should probably get out of here before anypony notices.”

“Well, my sensors—”

“Rainbow Dash? Are you alright?” Pinkie Pie rapidly waved her hoof in front of her friend’s face. “Hello?”

Rainbow Dash’s muscles were paralyzed. Her eyes stared straight ahead, unblinking. Her wings were flared skyward. Her tongue hung lazily out the side of her mouth, with a single bead of saliva running down it. Her mind began to lose focus, as the room, its furnishings, and her friends slowly blurred away. In the end, only one object remained sharply in focus.

The white ceramic plate was free of dirt or smudges, yet it was marred by a violent wave of raspberry glaze that spiraled around its surface. The preservative trail drew the eyes inward toward the decadent tower that arose from the alabaster platter. The tower’s foundation was a generous wedge of chocolate cake. Dense and egg-free, it served as a solid base to build upon. The chocolate was adorned with a smooth layer of blackberry jam; this served as a securing buffer which allowed the confectionery to rise skyward. The next level was cake of the finest red velvet, spongy and flavorful. It served as a perfect middle layer, smoothing out the transition between the disparate top and bottom levels. Adhered with rich cream cheese, the topmost level of cake was strawberry sponge cake, airy and delicate. Its gentle sweetness served as the perfect foil for the base’s power and presence. The entire affair was blanketed in rich, sweet buttermilk frosting, which provided a creamy consistency that properly summarized this tribute to sugar. As a sign of flair and elegance, the cake was topped with a trio of blueberries and a single leaf of mint.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes made love to the dish before her. She felt a singular muscle spasm in her abdomen, signalling her hunger—no, her yearning—for the baked good. Her legs moved of their own free will, carrying her closer and closer, hoof by hoof. Her exposed tongue extended, stretching itself toward the luxurious buttermilk frosting.

Twilight Sparkle tugged sharply on her friend’s tail. “No. That’s not your cake.”

Rainbow Dash’s rose-colored eyes flashed brightly back at Twilight Sparkle. “Traitor!” She flailed her hooves wildly in the direction of the cake. “Let go of me!”

“What part of ‘it’s not yours’ are you missing? We’re not even supposed to be in here. If—”

“Who the heck are you?”

The ponies turned to the doorway, where stood a pair of diminutive imps, one with green skin and the other with blue. While they were glaring quite angrily at the intruders, they did not otherwise appear hostile, much to the ponies’ surprise.

The blue imp waddled toward Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, who were still wrestling near the dessert. She pointed an accusing, stubby claw at Rainbow Dash. “And just what do you think you’re doing?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes twitched, hopping between the imp and her cake. Her hooves remained perched just out of reach of the dessert. “You gonna eat that?” she asked.

“My birthday cake? I was planning on it.”

“We’re very sorry to be bothering you, Mrs. Imp,” said Fluttershy. “It’s just that we seem to have gotten turned around, and—”

The green imp buried his face into his hand, as best as one could with an oversized head and diminutive claws. “No, no, don’t tell me. You came out of our closet, didn’t you?”

“Oh, well, um—”

The green imp threw a dirty look at his companion. “What did I tell you? Last time this happened, what did I say?”

The blue imp rolled her eyes. “You said we should get rid of—”

“Get rid of the closet,” he finished. “Yep, that’s exactly what I said. Told ya we didn’t need any more freaky ponies showing up out of nowhere. But did you listen? Oh no. ‘It won’t happen again,’ you said. ‘Let’s not overreact,’ you said.”

The blue imp folded her arms, turning away from her friend. “Why yes, I am having a nice birthday. Thank you so much for asking.”

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash shared a glance. The former released her magical grapple; the latter calmly dropped to her hooves. The four ponies quietly slid along the edge of the room, sneaking out the front door while the two imps bickered.

“So, Palomedina, huh?” asked Rainbow Dash as she glided above her friends. “This is that ‘city of demons’ on the eastern continent?” She raised her eyebrow as a pair of gargoyles walked past the ponies. The gargoyles, who were carrying bags of groceries, glared back menacingly.

Twilight Sparkle scoffed. “Really now, Rainbow. They’re not demons. They’re—”

They passed an outdoor restaurant, where a troll and goblin were gorging themselves on raw legs of mutton. Their sharp fangs ripped into the legs, tearing flesh from bone in a grizzly, carnivorous display.

“They’re more like monsters,” said Fluttershy in a hushed tone.

“Actually,” said Pinkie Pie, “they prefer to be called Mystics. These are the grandkids of Nightmare Moon’s forces. Nightmare Moon was this super-duper, meanie-weenie, evil enchantress who got all the Mystics together. She and the Mystics tried to destroy Sugardia in the Great War. Don’t worry, though. We won! Sugardia was saved, and the Mystic army was stopped for good. They all went back to their homes, here in Palomedina. Sugardia and Palomedina aren’t great friends, but we at least try to get along.”

Twilight Sparkle blinked at Pinkie Pie, slack-jawed. “I... That’s exactly right! I gotta say, Pinkie, I’m really impressed. How do you know so much about Mystics?”

Pinkie Pie blushed, shyly turning her gaze away. “Well, you have to know these things when you’re a princess, you know.”

“Oh! That’s right, you—” Twilight Sparkle snapped her mouth closed. “Shutting up now.”

Pinkie Pie chuckled. She pointed her hoof to a small gathering of Mystics, performing a type of observance around a large golden statue in the town square. “That’s a statue of their old leader: the alicorn named—”

“Nightmare Moon!” shouted Rainbow Dash.

Twilight Sparkle smiled up at her friend. “So, you were paying attention. Very good, Dash!”

“Very good, Dash,” she mimicked back in a nasally falsetto. “Not that, doofus. We’ve seen that statue before!”

The ponies approached the statue, trotting and flying respectively. Twilight Sparkle squinted as the statue came into focus. “Well, you got me there. That’s the statue from Manerial Abbey, sure enough.”

“There’s actually real-live alicorns in this era?” asked Fluttershy, looking over the fearsome visage of the statue. “I’d never heard of a real one, back home. Everypony talked like they were part of a fairy tale.”

“Right?” agreed Pinkie Pie. “It’s really tough to believe, even if she was alive a few hundred years ago for us. Makes you wonder if she didn’t just crazy-glue those wings on her back. But nope, the Mystics are quite insistent she was an alicorn. The only one ever in all of history!” She shrugged. “At least, that’s what my teachers say.”

Rainbow Dash shivered. “Okay, fine, so she was a crazy pega-corn mutant. Cool. Whatever.” She gestured at the Mystics surrounding the base of the statue. “But what’s the deal with that freaky chanting?” she hissed.

A small gathering of Mystics danced in a large circle around the golden statue of Nightmare Moon. At least, the ponies assumed that it was a form of dance. The Mystics threw their bodies vigorously against the droning rhythms of the chanting, flailing and contorting in a way that the ponies found to be alien and unnerving. As the friends neared the gathering, they finally managed to make out the words of the chant.

...Moon! Our Nightmare Moon
Your coat of black: ponies’ despair
Your starry mane: oblivion
Your bloody scythe: their cities fall
Our loyalty: the sky burns red
Your fearsome pow’r: nothing remains
Except the Moon! Our Nightmare Moon
Your coat of black...

“‘Freaky’ is right,” whispered Twilight Sparkle under her breath.

A muscled, bipedal creature turned to look at Twilight Sparkle. Its ripped form was covered in thick plated armor, which itself was coated in dried blood. Its helm obscured its face under an impenetrable shade, exposing naught but a large unblinking eye. The Mystic looked down upon the ponies, towering over them at twice their height. His massive hand tightened its grip on a painful-looking spiked mace.

Twilight Sparkle locked every muscle in her body, paralyzed by fright and the sinking suspicion that her snarky remark had been overheard.

“Well, well,” chuckled the beast in a deep, smoky voice. “It seems that we have a handful of horsies in our midst. Have you come to pay homage to the mother of your destruction?” A few of the bystanders cackled, taking delight in the ponies’ visible fear.

“Destruction? What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Wasn’t Nightmare Moon defeated centuries ago?”

The creature tilted its head, leaning in closer to the pink pony. “You look... familiar,” he hissed.

Pinkie Pie coughed vigorously, covering her face with her hoof. “Nope,” she said in a rich baritone voice, “don’t think we’ve met before. I just have a familiar-looking face.”

“Well, little horsie, allow me to turn your world on its head. Nightmare Moon may have been defeated, but her legacy—and your destiny—lives on.” He pointed a stubby finger toward the ground. “Deep beneath the earth sleeps her greatest creation.”

The laughter of the crowd came to a slow boil. It was not everyday that they had a chance to strike fear into the hearts of their mortal enemies, and they were intent to make the most of it.

“The harbinger of the your doom!”

“A monster which no one but the great Nightmare Moon herself could hope to control!”

“When Nightmare Moon’s vengeance arises, the era of ponies will fall!”

“The greatest hope of the Mystics! Lavos, the destroyer of ponykind!”

“What?!” screamed Rainbow Dash. She charged up to the armored Mystic, glaring into its singular eye. “Nightmare Moon created Lavos?”

The creature let out a low, gravelly laugh. “Yes... Lavos... Know the name well, little horsie. Once Lavos awakens, Nightmare Moon’s revenge will be complete.”

“No.”

The Mystic turned its gaze away from Rainbow Dash. “No?”

Fluttershy slowly stepped toward the creature. “No. Lavos won’t destroy this planet, and Nightmare Moon won’t have her revenge. I’m sorry, but the fact of the matter is, your leader has lost.”

The Mystic inhaled sharply before erupting, roaring directly into Fluttershy’s face. Her courage evaporated in a matter of nanoseconds. With a wail, she turned and flew at a full gallop, racing out of the town center and off into the distance.

“Fluttershy!” called out Rainbow Dash. “Wait, come back!”

The friends chased after Fluttershy, taunted by the maniacal laughter of the Mystics. The fiends resumed their ceremony, worshipping the creature who would destroy friend and foe alike in nine hundred and ninety nine years.

“What the hell?” growled Rainbow Dash as she and her friends chased after the runaway robopony. “Lavos wasn’t just some random monster buried in the ground? Nightmare Moon created it?”

“Language. Correct. Excellent,” replied Twilight Sparkle, breathing heavily from her full-strided gallop.

“Excellent? What’s excellent? The fact that we know Lavos’s birthday?”

“Basically, yes. Don’t forget, Rainbow, we’ve been to Nightmare Moon’s era before. We can still use that Gate at Diane Square to travel back to 600 AD.”

“Awesome!” cheered Pinkie Pie as she bounced along beside her friends. “We can travel back in time and stop Nightmare Moon.” She blinked. “Wait, but Nightmare Moon already lost.”

Twilight Sparkle tilted her head from side to side as she ran. “Well, she was defeated, yes, but she still managed to create Lavos. If we can travel back in time, we might be able to change history such that she’s defeated and that she fails to summon Lavos.”

“Ooo, I just thought of something!” said Pinkie Pie. “Maybe the ponies who defeated Nightmare Moon in the past—get this—were us! We already defeated her, but now we need to go back in time so that we can actually do the defeating!”

Twilight Sparkle’s jaw tightened. “I sure hope that time travel doesn’t work that way, Pinkie. If we’re predestined to fight Nightmare Moon like that, yet the future is still destroyed, that means...”

The trio of ponies caught up to Fluttershy. They flopped to the ground and gasped for breath, while she stood motionless and stared off into the distance.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” said Rainbow Dash between pants, “what gives? Why’d you stop?”

Fluttershy pointed a hoof straight ahead. The grassy plains of the continent eventually gave way to a crystal-blue ocean. Where land met water, a sizable mountain reached its way into the clear skies. “Do you see that small house?” Fluttershy asked. Indeed, there was a small stucco house seated near the base of the mountain. “I believe that there is an equine inside.”

“An equine? You mean a pony?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“I’m not certain.”

“Well, I’m certain that I’d like to see another friendly face, at this point,” said Pinkie Pie. “C’mon, everypony, let’s check it out.”

Rainbow Dash opened the front door, poking her head inside. “Hello? Anypony in here?”

“Visitors?” replied a voice. Rainbow Dash turned, looking down a nearby staircase. The sound appeared to be coming from the basement. “My manners are lacking. Make yourselves comfy while I finish unpacking.”

The four ponies let themselves into the home. It had the basic furnishing of this era, for homes of ponies and Mystics alike: wooden bookcases, cushioned chairs, tables with glossy finish, and so forth. The ponies nearly failed to notice these rote details. The house was also decorated with objects that were decidedly more exotic and unique. Shelves running the length of the wall were covered with potions, lumber, and alloys. Decorative tribal masks hung above the shelves, giving the room a foreign yet strangely welcoming glow. The back wall of the room was affixed with an array of wall mounts, whereupon a collection of blades, maces, shields, and armor were on display.

The sound of hooves echoed in the room, causing the ponies to turn back toward the staircase. A zebra with an impressive mohawk emerged from the basement, balancing a broadsword and polishing cloth across her back. Her neck and right foreleg were bound with multiple golden rings. She wore an elegant blue robe across her back, bound in place with a brilliant red sash. “What’s this? I almost cannot believe my eyes. Ponies in Palomedina—what a surprise!”

“I’m a bit surprised to see a zebra in Palomedina, for that matter,” said Twilight Sparkle. “The Mystics aren’t exactly known for their hospitality.”

“What you say, dear unicorn, is true. But due to fate, it will have to do. Now ponies—yellow, pink, and blue—tell Zecora what she can do for you.”

“Hey, Zecora.” Pinkie Pie grabbed her hoof and vigorously shook it. “My name’s Pinkie Pie. This here is Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash. We accidentally got stranded here—kinda like you, from the sound of it.”

“We’re actually trying to make our way back home, to Equus,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Is there maybe a ferry, or…”

“Crossing the sea is quite easy,” Zecora said with a nod, looking out her window. The view from here was dominated by the base of the nearby mountain. “In this mountain, within the Cave of Heckran, there’s a whirlpool which can take you back where you began.”

Fluttershy attempted to bow respectfully, as best as her stiff joints would allow. “Thank you, Miss Zecora. This is extremely helpful.”

Rainbow Dash floated in front of the back wall, eyeing the weapons and armor with rapt interest. “So what’s the deal with all these swords? You some kind of merchant?”

“A weaponsmith, Rainbow; a forger of blades. But you are correct; these wares are for trade.”

“Oh my,” said Fluttershy as she drew back. “You make weapons? I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but many ponies could get hurt with these.”

Zecora hung her head, her eyes filled with emotions that the ponies could only guess at. “Your words burn, yet ring true, Fluttershy. This profession makes me want to cry. Weapons are meant for protecting life, but these Mystics use them for death and strife. But it is a task for which I am able. It shames me, but it puts bread on my table.”

“I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, hanging her head in turn. “I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions. That’s quite a sad predicament you’re in. I wish there was—“

“Dude! Twi!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Check out this sweet-flank sword!” Rainbow Dash’s jaw chomped firmly on the hilt of a red-steel katana, which had been cast and tempered with utmost skill. She flailed the sword around so recklessly and rapidly that Twilight Sparkle was surprised the pegasus’s head didn’t pop off. “How much is it?”

“Ah yes, my alloyed katana with blade of red,” said Zecora with a nod. “It’s yours for eight thousand and five hundred.”

Rainbow Dash’s neck locked in place, causing the blade to vibrate as its inertia nearly tore it free from her mouth. She set the sword back onto its wall mount delicately, as if to prevent the sword from shattering into thousands of pieces. Pulling off her bandana, she gently wiped every last trace of her saliva from the grip. “Yeah, uh, my allowance is only two hundred gold a week. Sorry. Guess I’m gonna have to start saving up.”

“No problemo!” cheered Pinkie Pie. From her saddlebags, she pulled out a large leather pouch, which she flung onto the nearby table. It landed with a heavy slosh of metallic jingling. The bag tipped, causing a trickle of Sugardian gold coins to roll out.

“Holy shhh-eep,” Rainbow Dash corrected herself, glancing nervously at Twilight Sparkle. She turned back toward the money purse. “Pinkie, where in Sugardia did you get all this cash? Is this, like, from the royal treasury or something?”

“Oh, no-no-no, nothing like that,” said Pinkie Pie, dismissively waving her hoof. “This money is all of ours. I’ve been collecting it for us.”

Twilight Sparkle arched an eyebrow. “Collecting it? From where?”

“After all our battles, duh. Y’know, all of the mobs we’ve fought have been dropping gold, tonics, experience points, tech points—”

“I… experience points?”

Pinkie Pie huffed at Twilight Sparkle. “All of this stuff is covered in the Tutorial menu. You really need to check that out sometime.”

“Whatever. I don’t care about asparagus points,” said Rainbow Dash. “What about the gold? Do we have the nine thousand for my sword?”

“Absolutely!” said Pinkie Pie, diving her face into the leather pouch and rapidly estimating its contents. “Our wallet has over… over…” She pulled her face out of the bag, smiling at her friends. “Over forty thousand gold!”

The ponies went on a short buying binge. Rainbow Dash got her red katana, Pinkie Pie picked up some improved ammo for her crossbow, and everypony picked up protective armored vests.

“Thanks for your business, ponies of the realm,” said Zecora with a respectful bow. “But are you certain that nopony needs a fine helm?”

Rainbow Dash laughed brashly. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to pass. Twilight might be okay with wearing a dorky-looking hat,” she said, running a hoof through her rainbow-striped mane, “but I’d rather look stylish while I fight. Image is important for some ponies.”

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes. “Avoiding skull fractures is important for other ponies,” she muttered under her breath.

“Anyway, we better get moving,” said Rainbow Dash, leading her friends toward the front door. “Thanks for the gear, Zecora! We’ll see you around!”

Zecora waved farewell, smiling at her new friends. “Indeed, meeting again would be perfect! I hope my wares help in your mission to protect.”