//------------------------------// // Bella Notte. Pony # 14 and 15: Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// "But what are we gonna do to get outta here?" Applejack asked "Hold on," Princess Celestia said "I feel a familiar magic not too far from here." "I feel it as well." Princess Luna added "So can I!" Twilight said as well "I feel magic everywhere." Deadpool added. The princesses all stared at the human. "Of course, that's back home. I have no idea what the f**k you're all talking about." "Well then," Celestia said "Everypony, hold on to each other, I know where we're going." "You and Twilight's friends will do that." Luna said "I will return to the castle to make sure nothing is ruined." "You think you can handle that?" Rarity asked "Yes. I need to make sure all the citizens are safe. Plus, if I hear Deadpool's remark on calling me 'Mooncheeks' one more time, I will lose it." Deadpool teleported next to Luna. "Mooncheeks." He whispered. Luna growled at him before her horn glowed. She teleported away in a flash of blue light. "Alright then," Celestia said "Everyone, together now." Celestia's horn began to The mane 6 got into a single row, but Deadpool teleported onto their backs in a relaxed position. In a yellow flash, they found themselves out of the forest and into a city block. Everything around them was made out of crystals, including a group of small foals that ran by them. OH!!! The Crystal Empire!!! What do you think she meant by 'powerful magic'? ...Tijuana WHAT THE-? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM? "Princess Celestia!!!" A recognizable voice yelled with plenty of glee. "Twilight!!!" "Cadence!!!" Twilight yelled. She ran away, causing Deadpool's legs to droop. The rest of her friends got the same idea and shook Deadpool off, making him land on the floor. Deadpool looked and saw Twilight running up towards a pink alicorn with long, swirled up mane that had stripes of yellow, a darker shade of pink, and purple in it. She wore a crown, medal, and boots made of gold. The two mares approached to each other and did their stupid dance. "♫ Sunshine, Sunshine, Ladybugs awake!!! Clap your hooves and-♫" "♫ DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!!!♫" Deadpool interrupted, pulling out a boombox out of nowhere and pressing the play button. Some music began and he fell to the floor, doing some weird dance that made him look like he was having a seizure. Pinkie joined with him, doing the erratic dance moves with him. Fluttershy walked to the boombox and, with her muzzle, pressed the 'stop' button. The two stopped and looked up. "I think we should save that for another time." Fluttershy said. "...Fine." Deadpool said. He teleported back to his feet. "Twilight?" Cadence asked "Who is this and what is he?" "Oh yeah," Twilight said "Cadence, meet Deadpool." "Deadpool? You mean as in THE Deadpool that was able to single hoofingly KILL Lord Tirek!?!?!?" "That's me!!!" Deadpool replied, taking pride from it. Cadnece stared at him and shivered with fear: if Deadpool could kill Tirek so easily, how would he be like while dealing with her? "Do not worry," Celestia said, reassuring the other princess "He means us no harm. He states that he did that to Tirek because he was avenging Twilight's destroyed home. A bit admirable, might I say." "Really?" Cadence asked "Well then." She walked up to Deadpool, a bit shaken on what he did, but still confident enough to know he wouldn't hurt her. "Greetings Deadpool, my name is-" "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadence, as you prefer." Deadpool interrupted. She stopped and one her eyes began to twitch. "I've heard about how you and your husband, not only saved Canterlot from Queen Chrysaliss & her Changelings, but how you both saved Spike from doom with the crystal heart and saved the Crystal Empire from King Sombra." "How... did you-?" "He does that a lot." Fluttershy said "But of course," Deadpool continued "you used to be Twilight's foal sitter, and your future husband was part of a rock band before he joined the military.It's quite strange, might I say." "Really?" Cadence asked "What about you? What's your backstory?" "With me? Well... it's... uh-" "He doesn't really like talking about it." Rarity said "And believe me, he told us everything!" "I never thought I'd cried that hard." Rainbow Dash said, drooping her head while holding back a tear. "I never thought she cried at all!" Pinkie exclaimed, holding Dashie into her front legs. Cadence looked back at Deadpool "Well," she continued "I welcome you, fare Deadpool, to the Crystal Empire. Hopefully, my husband is done coaching the Crystal Empire team so we can-" "On it." Deadpool interrupted. He teleported away, leaving a red mist that went away shortly. "Wait: He can TELEPORT!?!?!?" "He sure can." Twilight said "I thought only unicorns and Alicorns can do that!?!?!?" "I also thought of that." Deadpool teleported to a stage, circling around a field where a bunch of crystal ponies were training hard. A white unicorn with a blue & light blue stripped, more natural horse mane, blew into his whistle. "C'mon Guys!!!" The unicorn yelled in a commanding voice "The summer Equestrian games may be in the next four years, but we can still get ready for the winter Equestrian two years from now!!!" Deadpool teleported next to the unicorn in a workout suit "That's right!" Deadpool said in a feminine voice "We're going to prove to the other nation that we are superior in a number of games while be FABULOUS!!!" The unicorn jumped! He used his magic and lifted a spear to Deadpool's face "Who are you!?!?!? What are you doing here?" "Name's Deadpool!" The mere mention of his name caused everypony to stop what they were doing and stared at him. The unicorn gave a signal for all of them to leave, hoping they wouldn't get hurt at all. "Don't worry, I bring you... this!!!" Deadpool pulled out a regular corn dog. OHH!!! Like Friendship is Witchcraft!!!! I doubt they actually do enjoy eating Corn dogs. And where did we get that? The unicorn looked carefully at the Corndog, not sure what it was. "What is it?" He asked "Are you trying to kill me like Tirek?" "WHAT!?!?!? NO!!! It's a Corndog!" Deadpool responded "What do you-" "You eat it!!!" "...Eat it?" Deadpool lifted the corn dog to the unicorn's face. He took some quick sniffs at it. Nothing seemed out of place, it smelt really good and he hadn't eaten anything today. He levitated the corn dog out of Deadpool's hand and inspected more. His stomach growled, and he began to drool at the sight & smell of it, not even sure what it would taste like. He took a bite out of the top and began to chew. His eyes widened. "Sweet Celestia. This... has to be... the most... EPIC THING EVER!!!" he began to scarf down the deep fried delight, laughing almost like a maniac! "I'm sorry for not introducing myself, my name is-" "Prince Shining Armor!" Deadpool interrupted "I already spoke with your wife, Cadence, and I must say, this is quite the-" "DEADPOOL!!!" The various voices of his group yelled. Twilight & her friends ran to Deadpool, Cadence ran to her husband, and Celestia just stood there, having a smirk across her face. "Shining," Cadence spoke "did he do anything to you?" "No dear," Shining armor replied "All he did was gave me a delicious treat called a 'Corndog'! You've got to try it!!!" "SHINING!!! He might've poisoned you!!!" "After how you both saved the crystal Empire AFTER shining threw you like a javelin!?!?!?" Deadpool asked "Yeah, sure I want to poison him after a stunt like THAT!" "...how does he know this?" Shining armor asked his wife "I have no idea." she replied "Besides," Deadpool continued "You're Twilight's B.B.B.F.F., there's no way I want to kill someone that's genetically related to the biggest bookworm around." "Thank you!" Twilight said. She stopped and realized what he said "HEY!!!" "I think you two need... a break of some sort." "A break?" the couple asked "Yeah. Don't you have an anniversary on the day you two were married?" "...We never thought of that." Cadence said "And it's already a few weeks after our wedding day," Shining Armor said "you really think we should have one?" "But what will we do?" "Leave that to me." Deadpool said, putting on a chef's hat. 7:00 P.M. The inside of the Crystal Empire's castle was decorated to look like a fancy restaurant. Shining Armor was in the same outfit he wore during the wedding, while Cadence was in the same dress she wore for Twilight's coronation, though her mane was kept the same. Deadpool had on the same suit he wore when introducing himself to Ponyville, but added a top hat, monocle, and a gentleman's mustache over his mask. He handed the couple their own menu "What will you two be having today?" Deadpool asked in a gentleman's tone. they opened their menus, but were quite thrown off, as the menus fell apart easily... and all the pictures with choices were written in crayon, filled with many grammar and spelling errors. "...This isn't a good sign." Cadence said "Uh... can you make it a surprise for the two of us?" Shining asked "Ooh!" Deadpol responded "Gotcha!" He teleported away. The two awkwardly stared at each other, with silence all around them. "So," Shining broke the silence "How's our anniversary?" "It... doesn't have a good start to it," Cadence replied "But I think it might get better." "Oh, good. What do you think of our waiter?" "Deadpool?" "Yeah." "He's... I'm not gonna lie, he frightens me a bit." "Really?" "After hearing what he did to Tirek, I'm actually more afraid of HIM more than when he was around, stealing magic from everypony!" "...I see... but he's not done anything bad, now has he?" "Not from what I've heard. He's a lot like Pinkie Pie, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." "Why do you say that?" "Well... have you been around Pinkie?" "I have been." "He's as random as her, maybe even more, and considering he has, what they say, instant healing, he's nearly invincible!" "Nearly?" "There may be something that can be used to beat him. Maybe the elements of Harmony." "Now Dear, let's not jump to conclusions. He seems to be a pretty good guy. Not the best, but a decent person, at least, and he made this for us, for the two of us on his own. How special is that? He obviously respects us!" "Yeah, after how you threw me to save Spike." "Alright, alright, that wasn't the brightest thing I did, but it worked, right?" "...I guess it did." "Where is he anyways?" At theta moment, Deadpool teleported in front of their table, holding two plates of spaghetti. He placed the plates in front of them. "Your horderves." Deadpool said with a bow. He teleported away. Cadence investigated the spaghetti, not even sure if what he did was 'good' or he really planed to kill the two. Deadpool returned to them, with Discord, who had an accordion and was also in a suit, and Deadpool had a ukulele. The chaotic duo began to play some music, making the area more romantic feeling. The two stared at each other: Cadence dropped her worries about being poisoned and Shining felt young again, back when the two first meet. The couple began to eat their meal and... well... watch the scene from 'Lady and the Tramp' and you'll see why. "Lazy narrator." Discord said. Ahem? "Oh, right. Deadpool?" Deadpool shook his head and cleared his throat. "♫Oh this is the night,♫" the two sang in surprisingly good Italian accents "♫it's a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte. Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes on this lovely bella notte. Side by side with your loved one, you'll find enchantment here. The night will weave its magic spell, When the one you love is near! Oh this is the night, and the heavens are right! On this lovely bella notte!♫" "That was... beautiful." Cadence said with a tear "I'm... sorry for doubting you, Deadpool. Is there anything I can do to repay this?" "There actually is." Deadpool said, pulling out his cell phone "I would like you and your husband to take a selfie with me." "A selfie?" Shining asked "what's that?" "Simple picture taking!" Discord replied "I had one with Deadpool a few days ago, remember?" "I sure do." Deadpool replied, remembering the duo singing Abba's "Dancing Queen". He held the phone in the air, having the frame have the couple inside "Say ♫Bella Notte♫!!!" "♫Bella Notte♫!!!" the couple responded. The pic was taken. "Ah... this will go in the memories for sure." "Tell me," Shining said "How did you sing like that?" "I control chaos." Discord answered plainly "no question here." "Years of practice, my friend." Deadpool responded "Practice, and one day, you'll be just as good as me."