“Well, Fluttershy, what do you think?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong,” the pegasus mumbled. “He just keeps on shaking, and I don’t know why.” She was on the verge of tears. Caring for creatures was her special talent, and to simply be unable to do anything while he lay there, suffering, was breaking her heart.
The Courier was laying on his back on the library floor, stripped of most of his clothing. The myriad scars, burns and bruises horrified Fluttershy, but she pushed through. All that mattered to her was that he woke up. Something that didn’t seem likely.
In the corner sat Applejack, staring at the ground. She couldn’t believe how harsh she’d been. Of course no creature could commit such acts without a good reason. She’d simply too stubborn to see that.
You ever passed out from radiation exposure? Really? Two weeks in a coma? Fuck, you must’ve walked into a fucking reactor or something. How’d you survive? A Mister Gutsy, really? Where’d you find one of those?
What? Oh, right the story. So, passing out from radiation exposure. Far from pleasant, as you obviously know. Apparently, I was only out for a few hours. Getting knocked out was starting to become a bad habit, and not one of those fun ones like doing Jet. I didn’t even know what day it was or how long I was in their world.
Waking up... Well, I felt stiff. You know how corpses get after a few hours, I think it’s called rigor mortis? Well, it felt like that. “Hey,” I managed to croak out. I’m honestly amazed I could even get my jaw to move.
“Ohmigosh, you’re awake!” Suddenly my face was filled with purple. Twilight had just put her face right in front of mine. “I was so worried!” And that’s a line you don’t hear much in the Wasteland.
“You trying to take my eye out?” I can be a smart-ass motherfucker whenever. Mind you, it was a legitimate concern, that horn was almost touching me. And who knows what that would have done!
“Oh, sorry.” Breathing space is always nice, especially after what I’d just been through. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve had worse.” I did try to sit up at that point, but I was pushed down. Not by Twilight, but a different pony.
This one was, well, cute. Yes I just said that. I know. Shut up. I thought you wanted to hear this story? Then keep your mouth shut and listen. Like I said, cute. She was light yellow, like... hm, I’ll find something later for a comparison. Her mane and tail were a pale pink, and both really long. She also had wings, like the rainbow one I had saved earlier. When I was able to see her flank later, I saw... it looked like a trio of cazadores, but the shape was off, not to mention the colour. Moths, or butterflies maybe? I dunno, they’re all extinct, aren’t they?
Anyway, I stayed down. I still felt like shit. Didn’t stop me from pulling up the Radiation tab on my Pip-Boy. Somehow, I’d hit a bit over five hundred. No wonder I collapsed. That’s enough radiation to kill a child, I think.
“Where’s my stuff?”
“I put your armour with your weapons.” Keeping everything that makes me deadly in one place, Twilight was. Clever girl. “You can’t seriously be expecting to put it back on like you are now!”
“I know when to rest,” I replied calmly. “What I need is some of the stuff that was with my armour. Look for orange-coloured packets. Bring all of them to me.” At first, I didn’t think she’d do it. But she did, levitating it wherever she’d hidden it. “Do not let that glowing crap near me.”
Twilight’s eyes widened when he said that. She’d had her suspicions, and this... “My magic’s harmful to you, isn’t it?” she asked sadly, unwilling to believe that her greatest gift was hurting another creature, even unintentionally.
“Magic?” the Courier asked. “I guess it doesn’t matter what you call it, but yeah it’ll kill me.”
Twilight let the strange packets of stuff drop to the ground. “Um, what did he say?” Fluttershy asked quietly.
“My magic will kill him,” the unicorn said quietly. “I’m dangerous to him.” From her tone, it was perfectly clear that she couldn’t believe it.
“What’s he doin’!?” They both turned to Applejack, who was pointing a hoof at the human. They spun around in time to see the Courier take a spike of some sort, connected to one of the packets, and jab it into his arm. Then, probably more alarmingly, he squeezed the packet, sending the orange liquid through the tube and into his body.
I hate using Radaway. Goes through me like a herd of stampeding brahmin. Still, beats the alternative. And it’s not like there are any doctors around who could’ve purged it from my system. Turns out, these ponies need that to live, a bit like ghouls. Take away all that radiation or magic, call it whatever you want, fatal.
Took four Radaways to clear me out. Had to explain what I was doing after the first one, they thought I was maiming myself. Then I pissed like a river. Then I drank like I’d been stranded in the middle of the Mojave for a week. After that, I put my pants back on and sat on the floor. The yellow one, she was persistent. Gave me a thorough once-over. I wasn’t going to say no to a free medical check-up, that’d be stupid. And she was quite good. Even though she had hooves. Only the unicorns can move stuff with their minds. Good thing, too.
“So that stuff purges your body of all toxins?” And Twilight Sparkle was questioning me about Radaway.
“Just radiation,” I explained calmly. No point getting angry with the little pony, huh? “Or magical residue, whatever you want to call it.”
“The proper term is ‘thaumatic fallout’.” Tell me that does not sound ominous. “But I’ve never heard of it being dangerous before.” I couldn’t help but stare. With the word ‘fallout’ in the name, how was that even possible!?
“Yes, well...” Fluttershy was still going over my chest wounds at the time. She ended up prodding me just over the heart. I don’t care how thorough the Auto-Doc in the Sink is, it just couldn’t get that right.That scar is still really sensitive. Touch me and I’ll break your fingers.
Fluttershy let out a quiet “eep!” as the Courier let out a pained yelp and jumped. As he gingerly rubbed the area in question, she let out a stream of apologies. “Oh gosh I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! Please forgive me, I - ”
“‘Fluttershy, he can’t understand a word yer sayin’,” Applejack said from her corner. “Besides, Ah don’t think he really minds. Ah mean, lookit him.” She gestured to the network of scars on his chest. “A little jab like that don’t seem like it’ll bother him much.”
“I wonder how he got all those scars anyway,” Twilight wondered out loud.
“I can’t imagine how anything could go through so much,” Fluttershy whispered.
“I could ask him,” Twilight said. “Mr. Courier, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you get so... scarred?” she asked in perfect Zebrican.
He looked at her for a moment, as though in deep thought. “I honestly couldn’t tell you,” he said solemnly. “Everything just kinda starts running together after a while.” Twilight pouted at this. She had wanted to hear his story, but if he couldn’t remember any of it... “I’ve probably killed close to a thousand people.” And now she wanted nothing to do with the subject. “Most in self-defense!” he exclaimed in an attempt to make things better. It did no such thing.
“’Most’?” she asked quietly. “What do you mean by ‘most’?”
“Exactly what I said,” the Courier replied calmly. “Where I’m from, some folks don’t deserve a second chance. They’re no better than a rabid animal, and need to be put down.” The way he said it so calmly, as though it was simply a fact of life that couldn’t be changed... Twilight had no idea how to feel about that. She was saved the trouble of concentrating any further on the matter by Fluttershy tapping her on the shoulder. This was because the shock sent her rocketing into the air with a squeal.
So I traumatized the pony a bit, what of it? Not like I can take it back. Argh! You fucker, I said that was sensitive! I can’t believe you’re that upset about what I did. Hell, you think that’s bad, you probably won’t want to hear one of the next bits.
She calmed down, you know. It just took a bit of convincing. Just had to remind her that our world is nothing like their’s. Got her to think of it as a story, y’know? A bit like the story of the Sierra Madre’s treasure, something that’s real but fantastic enough to be dismissed. Yes, like the story I’m telling you right now.
So, we talked for a while. The other two asked me a few questions, I answered, Twilight acting as translator. It was peaceful, for a while. Then what I thought was a small Fire Gecko ran into the building. Would’ve shot it too if they hadn’t taken all my guns.
Good thing they did too. That’s right, another talking animal! Apparently, he’s a dragon. His name is Spike. And he’s Twilight’s assistant. That’s all they told me. Yeah, that’s how I imagined dragons too.
Poor guy seemed exhausted too, like he’d been running from a pack of Deathclaws.
Spike looked at the creature sitting on the floor before shaking his head. “It can wait,” he panted.
“Spike?” Twilight asked. “What happened?”
“Ah thought you were lookin’ after the Crusaders?” Applejack asked, turning away from the Courier, who was staring at Spike in shock, one hand scrabbling around as though he was looking for something.
“I - I was,” he said carefully.
“Spike,” Twilight said commandingly. “Did something happen?”
The young dragon gulped. “Spike,” Fluttershy said quietly, “we’re not angry. We just want to know where the girls are.”
By this point, the Courier had stopped trying to find his gun. “What is that?” he whispered to Twilight.
“He’s my assistant.” The unicorn failed to notice the human’s confusion. “His name is Spike. He’s a dragon.”
Applejack called Twilight’s name, letting the bewildered look on the human’s face go unnoticed. “Can ya not go speakin’ gobbledegook without warnin’ us?” the farmer asked angrily.
“Since when could you speak Zebrican?” Spike asked.
“That doesn’t matter,” Twilight replied. “Where are the girls?”
An uneasy silence followed. “You remember how Rarity got taken by those Diamond Dogs?” There was the sounds of agreement from the ponies. “Sweetie Belle convinced me to go with her. She thought she could pull off Rarity’s gem-locating spell.”
“But that’s Rarity’s talent,” Twilight said.
“I know,” Spike replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “They hadn’t tried Cutie Mark Crusaders Gem Miners yet though, and - ”
“Oh no,” Applejack said quietly. “Diamond Dogs got Applebloom?” she asked. The other ponies gasped.
Author’s Notes:
DUN DUN DUN!
Well, that “dark” tag’s about to come into play.
Oh, and I'm being really blatant about the identity of the Courier's audience. As much as I can without just outright saying it...