Chapter 7 - On Tiny Wings
By: Red Angel
I am walking through the darkness, barefoot across an endless pool of blood, the soles of my feet stained red as I stride across the surface. Dark, pony-shaped figures sit in line on either side of me, their hollow eyes gazing lifelessly at me as I walk past. Something is breathing down my neck, egging me on, my legs moving by themselves. I feel helpless, like a puppet pulled along by its strings.
"Monster."
The word echoes around me in thousand simultaneous whispers. A platform sits in the pool of blood, like an altar rising from the ocean. A figure lies on top of it. The legion of voices whisper again and again, their monotonous tone sending chills down my spine. As I approach the altar, I peer down over the figure lying there, the altar bringing her to the height of my waist. Her light-purple coat is stained and matted, and her blue eyes staring, emotionless from under her bangs of white and purple hair, up at the darkness above as she lays there, splayed out on her back like an offering, seemingly lifeless if not for the slow breaths passing between her lips.
A hissing, like a long pleasurable sigh comes from behind me, hot air passing by my ear in trembling excitement. A figure presses against my back, almost tenderly, and long, black claws slide slowly down my arms, caressing my skin before firmly gripping my wrists. It lifts my arms and reaches down for the mare in front of me. My heart is racing in my chest, beating in rising panic. It guides my hands around her throat.
I try to pull my hands away. The grip around my wrists tighten, an angry growl coming from behind me as the thing presses harder against me, trying to coax me as it forces my hands to stay in place. I struggle harder, trying to step away, but my body refuses to obey me. She just lays there, completely still.
The growl goes more quiet, becoming softer until it more resembles bemused cooing. Its grip softens, yet still denying my hands from being moved. Its long fingers curl, the tips of its claws lightly scratching against the surface of my skin, before pressing down. Like curtains, my skin begins to part, blood dripping down my arms as the claws dig into the flesh. On and and on it sinks into my arms. First the fingers, then finally its hands are buried into me. I can see their movements under my skin, traveling down to my hands.
I stare in quiet horror, somehow not being able to scream, as it flexes its claws, my fingers following the movement as if it was wearing my hands like gloves of flesh. It clenches down, and my fingers tightening around the mare's throat. I try to fight back, but I am helpless as I see her breath become trapped in her throat, her mouth opening wider as it tries to suck in air in garbled chokes and her eyes starting to roll back into her head. One of her hind legs starts kicking weakly, the only struggle her body can muster. The grip around her throat only clamps down harder.
I hear laughter, filled with twisted pleasure. It does not come from behind me. It is coming from my lips.
I try to close my eyes, or look away... But I can't.
I gasp loudly, eyes seeing nothing but white as they are thrown open. My lungs burn with the air rushing into them, but it hardly registers in my panic. I jolt up, halfway into a sitting position, when pain racks my entire body, sending me rushing into reality. I gasp again, a pained hiss through my teeth growing into an agonized groan. Falling back down, my back lands against something yielding, giving a plastic rustle as it does, but filled with hard objects, halting my fall.
I lay perfectly still for a while as my mind tries to process what is going on. I blink my eyes a few times, but they refuse to focus, everything slightly obscured by a persistent blur and more than a few dark spots. W- Where am I? The pain... My chest feels like it's been split open and my back like it's been whipped. I feel cold, my body wet and numb, and there is a feverish heat in my spinning head.
Wait... Wet? I feel a few drops land on my face, one landing on my lips before sliding down into my mouth, making me aware of how dry my mouth and throat feels. Rain. I was... walking through the rain... But where? Hard to focus. Thirsty. Tired. Sweetheart? Wouldn't answer... Why didn't she answer? The rain. It seems to have let up some, the storm ebbing off into a light drizzle. How long have I been lying here? I slowly and carefully move my head, trying to take in my surroundings through my hazy vision. Looks like... an alley? Yes... I fell down. Plastic bags... Probably garbage... Smells like it... I think? Don't know. Everything's so unclear. Why can't I focus?
I try to move, but pain once again overtakes me, seeming even worse to my slightly more conscious mind. A pained scream escapes me and I slump back down again. My sight goes even more blurry and I think I'm seeing double. It feels like something is covering my ears, muffling all sound, except for an annoying ringing, which only acts to worsen the throbbing of my head. I lift my hand carefully and bring it to my face. Still hard to focus, but I can just make out the red stains on my fingers and palm. Blood... I remember. I lower my hand back down just as I hear a sound. What was it? Sounded close... A voice maybe... Sounded almost like a-
"Hello?" Someone, or rather somepony calls out. The voice is cautious and feminine, and full of worry, not for herself, but for the well-being of another. "Is somepony there? Are you hurt?" It draws closer, coming from around the corner of the building in front of me, from the way out back to the streets. My breath hitches in my throat as I recognize the voice.
My eyes go wide as she steps around the corner. Her mulberry coat and rose mane is damp with the rain. Bright green eyes meet mine and she freezes in place with a quiet gasp. I am in a schoolroom. No, I'm in an alley. She is lying on face down on her desk. She is standing right there! It hurts... She is in pain.
Cheerilee.
"No!" I screech, startling her into taking a step back. I twist my body, trying to crawl away from her. Too dizzy. Have to get away. So painful. Can't get a footing. I raise my hand, palm facing her shakily, pleading for her to stay away. Angry eyes. Cerise, deep green, blue. Hate, wanting to make me feel their pain. "Please! No more! No more..." I beg frantically, blubbering apologies before just curling up and starting to whimper pitifully, turning as much as I can away from her and hiding my face behind my hands, trying to look small, nonthreatening. Go away go away go away... Please... I still keep my eye on her, peeking through my fingers.
She stares at me, face frozen in shock, mouth and eyes wide open. No! Anger. Must be. But... Her face... Anger! Please, leave me alone. I'm sorry. She scans over me, taking in my quivering form, a pained, sad expression on her face. No, not possible. My mind is just playing tricks on me again. I nervously wait for her next move with bated breath. She bites her lower lip, looking around the alley before turning around and disappearing the way she came.
My whole body shudders as it relaxes, only to tense back up with a pained grunt. In my panic, I had managed to block out the pain, but now it came back with full force. My vision goes black for a few seconds as I tip over to the side, my face leaning into another trash bag. The alley fades back into existence before my eyes, though rocking from side to side, as my vision slowly returns. I can't move. So exhausted, don't have the strength. I keep staring down the alley, my mind nothing more than a groggy haze. It's so dark, the grey clouds above causing the the alley to be cast in sinister shadows. Don't know how long I keep staring out into the shadows, I feel like I'm just floating along, like a log in the river or a dark cloud in the sky. Those shadows... So dark...
Another sound. Quiet, but I heard it. Another one, closer. Through my unfocused vision, I see movement in the shadows. Another sound again... Something is in the shadows, coming closer. I can make out a shape in the darkness. But... What is it? It stands still for a while, watching me. I hear my own heartbeats in my head, beating madly. I try to move, but my body refuses, having gone numb from the pain. Everything is spinning. And that ringing! The shadows... the shadows are writhing. The dark figure moves closer, slowly and methodically, the darkness around it crawling along like a dark cloak. I open my mouth, trying to scream or call out for help, but all I can muster is a few, ragged gasps through my aching throat. It keeps moving closer in its slow pace, my breathing becoming quick and labored as I stare, paralyzed with half lidded eyes. I try to will my body to move again, but it is futile. It draws closer and closer, and then-
Voices. Distant. Coming from behind me. Growing louder as they approach. The figure stops and looks past me for a few seconds, listening, then down back at me again. I try to focus my vision, but the figure just remains a dark, unidentifiable black mass of writhing darkness. It regards me, seeming to hesitate, and finally, it slowly starts to slink back deeper into the alley once again, its form melting into the darkness without ever tearing its gaze from me, the shadows growing more still only to stop moving just as the figure completely disappears.
As my breathing starts calming down, my head seems to be spinning even more than before, and my eyelids feel like they are made out of lead. I struggle to keep them open, but it is hopeless. Slowly, everything starts going dark again. I can hardly hear the voices anymore, even when they're right on top of me, they are muffled and their words unintelligible. I sense movement around me, and something lightly tugging at me. I feel myself drifting away again. Something is hoisting me up, slowly and carefully. I try to speak, but can barely manage to make a few quiet moans. If anyone heard it, they seem to pay it no mind, they just keep talking among themselves. Not that it matters, because it's not long before everything fades away.
"... -on't look good. What happened to 'im!?"
A voice in the darkness, distant but familiar. I am in the market district, the midday sun bathing it in warming light, the bustling noise of crowds, talking, haggling, laughing. Scents of freshly baked bread and pies in the air. Green eyes meet mine as I approach, a friendly smile and a tip of the hat welcoming me. I buy some apples from her. She hands me an apple fritter as I start to leave, a gift for my help at the farm. I say that there is no need. What are friends for? I feel warm, feverish. Thirsty. My throat hurts.
" ... thread, quickly! Put pressure on the wound!"
Perfume, faint, not overpowering, like summer flowers. Blue eyes regard me with disinterest, before turning her head away, nose in the air. Annoyed, I scrub away the dirt from my shoes on the doormat. There is always a faint scent of perfume and laundered fabrics here. I tell her I need new clothes, that she is the only one I can turn to. She looks at me again, eyes and mouth growing wide with glee, before she starts trotting around the room, sketching down designs on a notepad while pulling out various fabrics and tools from the shelves and bombarding me with ridiculous ideas. I shake my head with a sigh. A small smile creeps onto my lips. A ragged gasp crawls down my throat.
"... should be in the hospital!"
I squirm weakly. Something feels soft beneath me. A groan, another gasp for air, more clearer. Darkness slowly gives way to dim light.
"... too far away... needs help right now! ... hold him down."
Something touches against my hot skin, the sudden coolness against it causing me to start. Stirring, my eyelids flutter, then slowly opens. My eyes quickly begins to focus through the blurring light, vague shapes growing more recognizable as my vision clears. A needle is floating in front of me, held aloft in a bright blue aura. It is stained red with blood. Behind it, a pair of large blue eyes are staring right into mine, the white coat on her hooves resting on my chest just as stained as the needle.
I let out a startled scream and try to pull away from the unicorn standing over me. I notice I am lying in a fainting couch, pressing into it as I unsuccessfully try to scramble away, the fatigue and pain racking my body sapping me of any strength. She pulls away at my reaction, and only now do I notice the cowpony next to her, her stetson resting on the floor instead of on its usual perch, bloodstains on her front hooves, as well as on her back, dripping down her side. Both their coats and manes are wet, clinging against their bodies. They stare at me with a mix of fright and concern. My hands grip along the edges of the seat and the back of the couch as I keep trying to dig myself deeper into it.
"Whoa, Anon, please calm down." Applejack speaks up, her face full of worry, a small tremble in her voice. She takes a step forward and reaches a hoof out at me. I flinch away from it and she stops, pulling her hoof back to her chest, her face falling, looking both dejected and a bit hurt.
"Anon," Rarity says as calmly as she can, also taking a step forward, placing herself besides her friend as she casts pleading eyes at me, "you need to calm down. You're going to tear your stitches."
I try to control my breathing, to stop myself from panting like a running dog. It's not easy, my confusion fueling the fear in the back of my mind, but at least I manage to keep myself just shy of hyperventilating. My body feels like it made a canon ball dive right into a meat-grinder, a certain stinging pain in my chest drawing my eyes down to look at myself. I am laid out over several towels, spread out along the couch, splashes of deep red soaked into the fabric directly under my upper body. My clothes have been removed, dumped on the floor in a soaked pile, along with a few towels, some sporting red stains, a blanket covering my lower body. And my body...
My arms, chest and abdomen are covered in dark bruises, big and small. My skin is glistening with sweat and there are a few smudged, red lines across my chest from blood that has been scrubbed off. Quickly, my eyes glance to the left of my chest, right next to my shoulder, a red cut in my flesh, partially sowed shut by a long thread, the bloodied needle dangling from the end of it down my side. I inhale a sharp breath at the sight, but even through my shock, I somehow still posses the mind to realize that the cut was not quite as large as I would have expected, given the size of the shard I had pulled out from it, only about the length of my pinkie, even if I can't make out how deep it is. The sight still managed to make me go a bit more pale, though.
"Anon." My gaze is pulled back at Rarity as she speaks my name, her voice sending a shiver traveling down my spine. As I look into her blue eyes, my breath hitches. I swallow hard, trying to force down the painful lump in my throat as I feel a growing wish to shrink further into the upholstery. My labored, raspy breaths are trembling as much as my body is, the image of those very same eyes I am now staring into, that just a moment before had been filled with such hatred, is still vivid inside my head. She had tried to kill me, she had been so close. I hardly even dare to blink. Her face falls, growing mournful as she peers into my eyes, and the fear inside them.
She looks so... heartbroken. Only now do I notice how disheveled she actually looks. The whites of her eyes have turned a light pinkish tone, the makeup around them is smudged, most of it cleaned off, but I can still spot traces of black lines on her cheeks from where her tears had caused it to run. Her mane and tail are a mess, completely soaked into thick, wet clumps hanging limply down the sides of her face and over her flank, tail dragged lifelessly across the floor like a purple mop.
"Please, you must calm yourself. You're back at the boutique." She manages to keep her voice calm and even, regaining her composure in order to give me a look of tender concern. I can't seem to stop panting, even as it slows down it feels like something heavy is pressing against my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Sweat continues to pour down my skin, my head feeling clogged and heavy as I turn it to look around. The room swivels somewhat as I take it in, but I do recognize it as one of the backrooms in the boutique, were Rarity would sometimes work on special time-consuming projects. A few of my own clothes had been created in this very room.
A voice calls out to me from the other side of the door, beckoning me to enter. Fabric and tailoring equipment litters the room, strewn over the floor, chairs and tables. "Organized chaos", she would insist on calling it. Proof that she can be just as much of a slob as she claims I am, I say. Several ensembles of various clothes are levitating in the air, posed as if worn by invisible models. Nothing fancy, but practical, all in my size, made to perfection, but still not without some style. She lifts her hoof, presenting my new garments to me with a dainty gesture. She seems bored, even as I thank her, turning away with her nose in the air, saying that I am welcome but that such simple garments are not truly worth her talents. I tell her maybe next time, if I am ever invited to some high class gathering, she can try her crazy fro-fro designs. I spot a small glimmer in her eye, even as she huffs, saying she won't be holding her breath. I make a rude gesture behind her back.
I am pulled back to the present when I notice a third presence in the room. The lump in my throat grows as soon as I spot her, standing slightly further away and to the side. Her mulberry coat is just as drenched as the other mares'. She looks in my direction, but keeps her eyes from directly meeting mine. Standing next to her is a small table with a bunch of rags and a bottle, bearing a label I can't make out.
"We were out looking for ya, when we almost ran right into Cheerilee. She led us to ya." Applejack speaks up. Hearing her own name, Cheerilee lifts her head enough to almost look me in the face, a small smile forms on her lips only to quickly disappear again as she eyes my body with concern. "We found ya in the alley, in pretty bad shape too. Had to carry ya." The farm pony looks over to Rarity with a small frown. "Ah wanted to get ya to the hospital but-"
"That is on the other side of town." Rarity interrupted her, meeting her eyes for a moment, mirroring her frown before directing her gaze to the floor instead. "I can patch him up, stop the bleeding," she lifts her head and looks at me again, taking another step forward, making me tense up again, "we have already cleaned the wound, but we have to finish sewing it up and bandage it." Our eyes meet once more, she seems to be on the verge of tearing up and there was a small crack in her voice as she spoke. "Please."
I can't really think of anything to say to the mare. I don't think I could even if I did think of something. My tongue and throat feels as dry as sand, and the room just won't stop weaving back and forth. A cough escapes me, the motion of my chest sending a fresh jolt from my wound, making me finally lose what little strength I have and I fall back down in the couch with a groan, laying on my back. I moan and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to fight through the lightning going off in my head.
Cracking my eyelids open just enough to glance at the ponies in the room, I see that they all have taken a few steps closer towards me, all of them staring at me with pleading and anxious eyes. Not having much of an option, at least how I see it, I turn my gaze up at the ceiling, take a steadying breath down my aching throat, and give a single, small nod.
Finally receiving my consent, they immediately gather around me. Their voices start growing more muffled once again, as I feel myself just teetering on the edge of consciousness. My sight darken and brighten in varying intervals. I can hardly feel anything except for the soreness of my throat and the heat of my skin as it clashes with a piercing chill permeating through my bones, making my joints ache. I let out a small, wheezing breath and try to clear my throat. I hear Rarity's voice, speaking words I can't make out.
A few seconds later I feel a hoof sliding under my head, lifting it softly from the seat cushion, and something cool pressing against my bottom lip. Blinking, my sight focuses enough for me to make out a glass, held in a dark cerise hoof, filled with clear water, held up to my mouth. I slowly part my dry lips and the glass is gently tipped. A trickle of cold water splashes against my tongue and I weakly swallow it down, the coldness at first stings in my throat, but soon turns to relief as I feel my throat soften from the liquid. More water enters my mouth, small sips at a time, giving me time to gulp it down before the next one, each time getting slowly easier to swallow.
After two or three more gulps of the refreshing water, I tip my head back and the glass is moved away from my lips, giving me the chance to gasp for air, the water's effect on my now slightly less aching throat having made me forget to breathe for a moment. I close my eyes, silently giving thanks for the much needed relief, even if the rest of my body did not feel much better. I feel my head being lowered once again, only this time I find it sinking into the soft surface of a pillow once the hoof holding me carefully slides away. A quiet sigh escapes my lips when I feel its coolness against the back of my head.
Something soft rubs across my forehead, soaking up the sweat covering it. I slowly open my eyes again. Moving them upwards, I see Cheerilee just as she removes her hoof from my face, holding a soaked rag in it. Our eyes meet and she pauses. She scans my face with worried looks and seems to search for something in my eyes, before the edge of her mouth curves slightly upwards in a small, reassuring smile. It doesn't really make me feel any better. I'm not sure if I'm feeling anything right now, emotionally at least. I just stare blankly at her, like my mind isn't really sure what exactly it is seeing.
I let my eyes drift down, looking at the other two mares hovering over me. Rarity is staring at my chest with an unflinching focus, hardly even blinking, her horn alight with its magical aura as she keeps working the needle. Applejack's eyes, on the other hand, keeps shifting from staring at my wounds with worry and throwing suspicious, sidelong glances at Rarity, only stopping when she reaches out with a towel to clean any fresh blood off of my chest. My vision begins to lose focus again, so I close my eyes again, letting my mind drift, just listening to my own heartbeat. A hoof once again presses against my forehead for a second before retracting.
"He's burning up." I hear Cheerilee's voice through the mist in my mind. It's followed by more muffled words, only a few sentences coming in clear enough to discern.
"... Why do ya even have things like disinfectant and antibiotics in yer home?"
"Between our adventures and the Crusaders' antics, I thought it would just be a matter of time... took lessons..." Rarity's voice fades in and out in my ears before I can no longer hear anything.
I don't know for how long I just feel like I'm drifting in darkness. My mind can't focus, every thought is mostly just feverish nonsense. Sometimes I see familiar faces, sometimes places I used to visit or events I used to hold dear, but everything's disjointed, unfocused, constantly in flux, shifting and changing. It's making me dizzy, like suffering vertigo or that nauseating gut-punch feeling when you fall.
Eventually, light slowly returns to my vision and I find myself staring into the ceiling of the back room again, no ponies standing over me, no sounds of movement, just the ceiling. The room's no longer spinning, but my brain feels like it's made out of lead. I glance down over my body. All the blood has been cleaned off, and the red-stained towels have been switched out from under me. The blanket has been pulled up to my ribs, and white bandages have been wrapped around my chest and left shoulder, primarily over the left side of my chest, to cover up my wound. I can't recall any of this happening. I try to sit up, but with a pained grunt I'm forced to accept that that won't be happening.
"Easy there." I hear a familiar drawl from my left, speaking in a tired, strained voice. I shift my eyes towards Applejack, sitting in the other end of the room, Cheerilee sitting next to her, none of us looking each other in the eyes. The bloodstains have been scrubbed out of the farm pony's now dry coat, and there is a hint of relief in her gloomy face. "Ya feelin' any better?"
"No." I answer her without emotion, seeing her head lower somewhat before turning my eyes back at the ceiling. I did not really feel like talking to her. Her words from earlier today are still fresh in my mind and they still hurt just thinking about. Still, there is a distinct pang of guilt in my chest, she did carry me all the way here and helped patch me up. And what Rarity told me, about Applejack... Maybe I'm too harsh in judging her. And after all, didn't I pour out my own guilt to Rarity over what happened to them? I do owe them...
Against my wishes, my eyes drift back towards the apple farmer sitting on her haunches. Her hat is lying on the floor at her hooves, her eyes looking forlornly at it as she appears deep in thought. Cheerilee keeps giving her sympathetic looks, even if she can't seem to get a read on what is going through Applejack's mind, but doesn't say anything.
Damn it... Why do I still want to believe in you, Applejack?
"Thank you." Applejack flinches slightly at my words, though they were little more than a whisper, and she lifts her head and stares right at me in surprise. I tilt my head to better face her, looking at each other in silence. I really wish I could force a smile right now, to at least let her think things are better. I can't do it though. I can't just forget what she said. I only hope my words sounded sincere enough for her.
No smile creeps unto her lips, no light of hope igniting in those green eyes. Instead, her ears droop and she lowers her eyes down at the floor again, her face seeming even more somber. I don't know what I was expecting, but I'm still surprised by her reaction. It just doesn't seem like Applejack to just give up this easily. I regard the dark rings under her eyes, still as clear as earlier today. She looks so miserable. I try to will myself to come up with something to say, when the sound of the door leading out to main room creaking open catches our attention, drawing everyone's eyes to see Rarity enter the room.
Like Applejack, the blood has been scrubbed out of her coat, not leaving so much as a single pink smudge anywhere on her pearl white body. Her mane also looks better, slightly damp from a recent shower and freshly combed, though it lacks its usual curls. A distinct and familiar hum, sending a chill down my spine, draws my eyes to her horn, shimmering in the bright blue field of her magic. A quiet, startled gasp escapes me. I try to throttle it so no one hears, but I notice Applejack glancing towards me, before directing her gaze back at Rarity, with less kind eyes, watching her intently as she approaches me.
Her steps are cautious to the point of timidness, eyeing my face all the way as she draws closer, like she was approaching a scared animal, trying to make herself seem nonthreatening while gauging my reactions. I try to sit up again, and with some difficulty I manage to at least prop myself up on my elbows, some of the nausea returning in my new position. I still can't look her directly in the eyes, every time I try I'm reminded of that hateful glare, making my gaze falter and look for somewhere else to rest.
She comes to a stop about a meter away from me and stands there silently watching me. A cold feeling sets in my gut, making me shudder as I lower my head to look at the floor under her hooves. A few seconds pass without either of us saying or doing anything, though it feels like an eternity. Suddenly, the tone of her magical aura shifts ever so slightly in pitch as something is levitated in front of my face. With a start, I lift my head and stare at the object... A large cup. It is just hovering there in front of me, held in the embrace of bright blue light. Inside it is a murky liquid that reminds me of the stuff they gave me at the hospital, only this one is steaming like freshly brewed coffee and it's giving off an unfamiliar, herbal scent.
"It's a little something Zecora whipped up for me when Sweetie Belle got sick once." Rarity speaks up after I've done nothing but curiously stare at the cup for several seconds. There is not much emotion in her voice, aside from tiredness. I find my eyes drifting from the cup, finally managing to meet hers. Initially, I feel my heart making a startled jump in my chest, but it quickly fades away when I look at her face. Even though her appearance is remarkably improved since I first woke up in this room, the exhausted, stressed out look on her face, the sadness in her eyes, she still looks just as miserable as before.
"It will suppress the fever, as well as help your body bring it down on its own quicker." She continues and levitates the cup closer to me. I eye the cup and the liquid inside of it with some small apprehension. Can't quite shake the feeling of how wrong it seems to accept help from a mare who just recently assaulted me. One more glance at her face though, at those sad, pleading eyes, and my apprehension seemingly melts away, leaving an aching feeling in my heart. The Rarity I see before me isn't the angry one, attacking me with anything in reach while screaming, or the haughty one who would barely notice my existence unless it suited her. All I see is the crying, violated mare, lying on the floor, gasping for breath and pleading for her life.
Leaning into my left elbow, I turn my upper body and reach out with my other arm. I grip my trembling fingers around the cup, almost dropping it as my touch dissipates the magic gripping it. It's happened more than once when a unicorn's tried to hand me something with their magic. The cup is warm, but not too hot to the touch. It's actually quite pleasant as I trail my fingers along the smooth ceramic, savoring the warmth.
"You should also drink this, you've lost quite a bit of blood." Using her magic, she pulls the small table over, its surface cleared of the rags and bottle, and places a large glass of water down on it. Another magical hum catches my ears as something is laid out at my feet on the couch. Glancing down, I see a small pile of neatly folded clothing lying there, just as my shoes come levitating down and placed gently on the floor.
"We will be waiting in the main room while you get dressed." With that, she turns around and walks back towards the door, stopping to look back at me with those pained eyes one last time before walking out. Cheerilee quickly follows after her, leaving only Applejack left in the room with me. Finally letting her hawk-like gaze off of Rarity once she's left the room, she turns back to me, flinching as our eyes meet. She seems to be trying to say something, but failing to find her voice, lets her eyes drop down to the floor, resting them on her hat for a moment, before finally picking it up with her hoof, replacing it on its rightful place on top of her head and leaving the room as well, closing the door behind her.
Finally alone and with a chance to catch my breath, I take a moment to go over the events of the day. From leaving the hospital, meeting Pinkie, Applejack and Rarity, the fight, to waking up in that alley. I've been cut and bruised, not to mention my psychotic episodes, or whatever they are. I glance over my beaten and bandaged body, giving a tired sigh. What am I doing? What is my life turning into? And just what am I supposed to do? Another, more annoyed sigh escapes me. How many times have I asked myself that question now? Too many, and still no closer to an answer.
I look down at the cup in my hand again, staring blankly at my distorted reflection on the surface of the murky concoction. I shouldn't have woken up in that alley. Had the cut been deeper or closer to the heart, maybe I wouldn't have. Hell, given enough time maybe I would've eventually bled out. My thought drift to Cheerilee. All she had to do was turn around and walk away, and nature would have taken its course. Can't say I'm surprised that she didn't though, even if I can't say I know her all that well, she doesn't strike me as the type of pony to abandon someone to their fate. I wonder how she's been coping? Is she still as scarred as the rest of us over what happened? She's been just as good at keeping her distance from me as most other ponies, I've hardly even seen her in town the last year, not that I was keeping a lookout anyway. Has she been quietly hating me as well? She really should have just left me there...
I shake my head to push those thought away. Just how many times am I going to keep telling myself that? If I really believed that, than why do I keep fighting? How come whenever I find myself on the brink of oblivion, that when something pulls me back to life, I let it? Maybe I'm just a coward... Or I really do want to live. And if so, for what? For a chance at happiness? One last hurrah, to make things right? Maybe I'm doing it for them? That no matter what I've done, or how they've shunned me, I still want to belong?
Peering deeper into my reflection, I stare into my own eyes. Maybe I just want to prove to myself that there really is something in me worth saving?
I give my head another shake. All these questions are giving my already sore head a headache, and I'm not going to find any answers lying here. I take a deep breath through my nose, getting a fresh waft of steaming herbs from the cup, the scent not at all unpleasant. Giving the contents one last once-over, I then bring the cup to my lips and start pouring the liquid into my mouth. Despite how it had reminded me of the nasty-looking stuff I got at the hospital, unlike that practically tasteless brew this one had a taste that reminded me of cinnamon. As it travels down my throat, its warmth spreads throughout my body, easing the chilling ache in my bones. Quickly, the throbbing dizziness in my head dies down, like a great weight is lifted from it, and the muscles in my throat start feeling more relaxed. Once I've downed the last drops, I bask in the sweet relief overcoming me. When the warmth in me dies down, so does the heat of my skin, ebbing out to a more lukewarm temperature, which only enhances the feeling of release. A small part of me could still sense the fever, like a nagging reminder in the back of my head, but it is so small I don't even care right now.
I lay down on the pillow for a few minutes, relishing the feeling, taking advantage of this fleeting moment of comfort while it lasts. Maybe living isn't so bad after all? Eventually though, I decide to get up and get dressed. Almost immediately I regret that decision, since I'm reminded of the state of the rest of my body. Through the pain and a lot of gritted teeth, I do manage to eventually get to my feet and start dressing myself, though standing up left me suddenly very dizzy for a moment. Reminding myself of what Rarity said about losing blood, I grab the glass of water and down it quickly, it doesn't really help with the dizziness, but hopefully it's a start.
Once I've got my underwear, jeans and socks on, I stop just as I'm about to put on the shirt. It is not the same as the one I wore before, this one was a dark blue, almost to the point of black, as opposed to the white one I had been wearing. I grab ahold of the hoodie lying on the couch and scan over it. It looks the same, but without any signs of use, neither wear nor tear, like it was just made. I stand there for a moment, one garb in each hand, looking back and forth between them. Either I was out cold for longer than I thought or I've been underestimating just how fast Rarity can work. I glance over at the window, it's still bright outside, even brighter than when I stumbled into the alley, now that the rain had ended, so it can't be that late in the afternoon yet. So, does that mean... Did she really just... make these now? I suppose she is familiar with their designs, having made these types before, and it's not like there's anything complicated about them, unlike the dresses she usually makes... But still...
I shake myself out of my surprise, deciding to leave the subject be, and finish getting dressed. The wound between my shoulder and chest hurt like a son-of-a-bitch while trying to pull the shirt over my head, I almost thought I was going to pop my stitches, not to mention my still very sore ribs, but I managed to get through it. But once again, it was the damn shoes that gave me the worst trouble. I am so thankful for the privacy of being alone, to preserve what little dignity I have left. My back hurts just thinking about the awkward angles I had to put myself into.
The sound of voices from the main room catches my attention. I can hear Applejack and Rarity talking, but I can't make out the words. As I move towards the door, leaving the cup and glass on the small table, Applejack's voice suddenly starts growing slightly louder and angrier, while Rarity's sounds almost... pleading. I place my fingers around the doorknob and twist.
"... and Ah find ya sitting here crying yer eyes out and things thrown all over the place!" I stop just as I start to open the door, leaving it at just a small crack. I lean myself closer to the door and listen. "Just what happened when Anon was here?"
"I-I- I-" I hear Rarity's voice stutter, cracking with nervousness, "I wanted to apologize to him. F- For the way I had treated him. I just... I just wanted to put the past behind us and start over..."
"And how did that end up with Anon bleedin' in an alley?" Applejack's voice grows dangerously low as she speaks, sounding more menacing. "What. Happened?"
"I-I.... I..." Rarity sounds like she is coming close to crying. With a pull from my wrist, I open the door all the way and step into the room.
"I hurt myself when I fell." I say loudly enough to grab everyone's attention as I stop just inside the room. The debris from Rarity's barrage has been cleaned up, the only signs left are the dents and a single deep cut in the wallpaper on one of the walls. All of them are sitting on the floor, except for Applejack, who is standing in front of Rarity, almost right up in her face. Cheerilee sits a bit away from them, eyeing them with a look of worry. The fashionista herself has her head hanging low under Applejack's scrutinizing glare. At the sound of my voice, they all turn their heads with a start, staring at me in surprise. They stay like that for a few seconds of silence, before Applejack's gives me a skeptic look, raising one of her eyebrows.
"When ya fell?" The disbelief is clear in her voice as she says it.
"Yeah." I answer, my voice steady and firm, meeting her gaze unflinchingly. "In the alley, when I fell, I cut myself on some of the trash."
She stares at me silently, a frown of disapproval mixing with the skepticism in her face. I walk further into the room, but keep a two meter distance between us, folding my arms across my chest, managing not to wince from my wounds, and just stare back at her with a blank expression, holding my ground. Her eyes narrow slightly as she scans my face. I have no doubt that she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't have to, I'm still not budging. Rarity is still watching me with the same wide-eyes surprise as when I entered the room, while Cheerilee looks between all three of us, seeming uncomfortable with the silent tension.
"That it? Ya really gonna stick with that story?" Applejack finally breaks the silence, giving an exasperated sigh, making it clear she wasn't buying any of it.
"What more do you want?"
"The truth! The whole truth."
"Why? Because I owe you?" The words comes out of my mouth before I can even react and I bite my tongue. Instantly, her face falls, ears laying back against her head as she stares at me in stunned silence, before lowering her eyes with a shamed look. That ice-cold feeling returns to my gut. I didn't mean to say that, to make her sad yet again. Despite how her words had hurt, I didn't want to use it against her like this, just to shut her up.
"I'm- I'm sorry..." I stutter out. Applejack just shuts her eyes and shakes her head, looking every bit as ashamed. She's blaming herself, I can tell... It's what I've done countless times to myself. You idiot, please don't let her drag herself down that same road as you. "Applejack... I... I..."
"Anon." Rarity calmly interjects. Her eyes are wet as she looks up at me pleadingly while shaking her head. I purse my lips tightly shut, cursing myself for not knowing what to say. Keeping my silence instead, I watch Rarity as she turns towards her friend looking over her with sad eyes. She seems to hesitate, taking a deep breath to steel herself.
"Applejack..." Her voice manages to make the cowpony open her eyes and lift her head to look at her. Her eyes are wet as well. The resignation in Rarity's voice tells me what she's about to say. She's going to reveal everything that happened, what she did. I feel my pulse quicken, and all I can think about is having to see another pony risk being dragged off to prison. I can't let her do that. "T- The truth is-" Before I can say or do anything, the front door to the boutique is suddenly thrown open, startling all of us.
"Rarity!?" A high-pitched voice calls out, followed by the sound of two sets of tiny hooves come running.
"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity barely manages to speak before her little sister throws herself at her, throwing her tiny hooves around her neck in a hug, catching the older unicorn off guard.
"Sis!" Another, slightly less high-pitched voice calls out, with a distinct drawl.
"A- Apple Bloom?" The youngest of the Apple-siblings runs over to Applejack. Though she doesn't throw herself at her like her little unicorn friend, she still leans up against her with her hooves around one of her sisters forelegs, looking up at her face with worry. Me and Cheerilee just look at each other then back at the sisters.
"Sweetie? What's wrong? What are you doing here?" Rarity asks, prying her little sister away from herself to look at her face, still holding her in her hooves. The little unicorn looks to be on the verge of tears.
"We thought that maybe something had happened to you." She squeaks out in a worried voice, giving a loud sniffle to keep any tears from coming out. Judging by her breathing, she had been running a lot.
"To me? Whatever do you mean?" Sweetie Belle does not answer her. Instead, she turns her head towards me, and the moment her big, green eyes fall on me, she gives me the angriest glare I've ever seen on her tiny face. She pulls away from Rarity, turning completely in my direction, drilling her eyes into me.
"What is he doing here?" I've never heard her sounding so angry before. I don't think Sweetie Belle ever took that much of a liking to me, not because of any personal dislike towards me, I think. She didn't seem to take any real kind of umbrage whenever I was around at least. It was probably just because her sister didn't like me. That was before the night I attacked Rarity, though. Even if I haven't seen her since then, I can't possibly think she would have any good opinions about me nowadays. If her tone, and that glare is any indication, I'd say I'm right.
"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity gives her sister a quizzical look. Apple Bloom lets go of Applejack's leg and positions herself between us in a guarded stance, giving me a glare of her own, to her older sister's bewilderment.
"We were taking cover from the rain over at Sugarcube Corner," she starts, keeping her bright orange eyes on me, "when we heard ponies sayin' they've seen Anon going into the boutique and that they later saw 'im running around the streets, shouting like a crazy-pony." Sweetie Belle turns back towards her sister, the look of worry back on her face.
"He didn't hurt you, did he, Rarity?"
"N- no, he didn't..." Rarity seems to still be caught of guard, staring at her sister with a dumbfounded look on her face, before finally snapping out of it, giving Sweetie a serious but gentle look. "He didn't hurt me. Sweetie Belle, what are you on about?"
"Ya can't trust this varmint!" Apple Bloom shouts out, pointing an angry hoof at me. I'm so taken aback, I actually find myself flinching away from it.
"Apple Bloom!" Her sister exclaims sternly, giving her a disapproving look. Sweetie Belle walks up to her friends side, the angry glare returning as she directs it at me again. "What kinda talk is that?"
"We haven't forgotten what he did!" Apple Bloom continues on, "for what he did to the both of ya." Her glare intensifies, burning into me. I actually start shying away from these two fillies, averting my eyes to the ground. Apple Bloom had been my friend, even if she wasn't as overly enthralled by me like Scootaloo, she would still always hang around me whenever I visited the farm, asking questions or playing together with Winona. There is nothing of that filly I knew in those eyes. "And for what Ah saw ya do to Cheerilee, you-"
"Apple Bloom." The teacher pony speaks up, her voice quiet and calm. All of us turn to look at her. She meets Apple Bloom's eyes with a sad frown on her face, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "Don't."
The young fillies' ears droop, averting their eyes to the floor. Their teacher regards them with what looks like disappointment written on her face. Looking in her direction, my eyes are quickly drawn towards the front door, specifically towards the tiny figure standing just inside of it, until I am staring deeply into the big, purple eyes of the third member of the crusaders. My eyes widen, my body grows stiff and a quiet gasp escapes my lips. All the other mares look at me, then follow my eyes to the pegasus filly that had so far stood quietly in the room.
No one says a word, and she doesn't seem to register the others staring eyes, looking at nobody but me. Slowly, she starts walking further into the room, coming closer towards us.
"Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asks quietly as the filly just walks past the older mares. Just as she passes her two best friends, moving closer towards me, I instinctively take a step back, making her stop in her tracks. For a second time today, I feel like I just want to run away, to flee and just keep running. She stands there, looking into my eyes. She is hurt by my reaction, I can see it in her face.
"I'm sorry." Her voice is quiet when she speaks, and as soon as the words are spoken the edges of her mouth start trembling, though she stubbornly fights back against any tears. The panic in me is instantly replaced by confusion, a feeling that is spread across the faces of the others in the room as all of us regard the filly pegasus. Apple Bloom walks closer to her, eyeing her friend's face.
"Scootaloo. Ya've got nothin' to apologize for." The little yellow filly took the words right out of my mouth. Whatever could she be apologizing for? What she gets from Scootaloo though, is an angry frown, her body still fighting back the urge to let the tears well up.
"Yes I do!" Apple Bloom takes a step back as Scootaloo turns back to look at me. "I told Rainbow Dash. I told her what happened to me." She clenches her eyes tightly shut and lowers her head. "And she attacked you... And you ended up in the hospital, because I told her... It's all my fault."
"Scootaloo, no..." Rarity says gently, walking up to her and puts a hoof on her shoulder, which gets promptly shrugged of by the tiny pegasus. The unicorn takes the hint and lets her hoof rest on the floor, giving the filly a sympathetic look. "What happened was not your fault. She was just... upset..." Her voice falters at the end, directing a guilty look at the floor.
"She was my hero... I didn't know who else to turn to... So I told her... But I didn't want this..."
"Was?" I finally speak up, my voice thick and heavy, drawing Scootaloo's eyes back at me, though she lowers it again once she thinks over my question.
"I confronted her after I heard what she did to you... I- I yelled at her, told her that's not what a hero does... Said she was no hero... And... And that I didn't want to see her anymore..." Everyone in the room goes wide-eyed at that. In my mind, I remember seeing Rainbow in the hospital room, how depressed she had looked. I'm not the bad guy... I'm not... That's what she said. "Now I haven't talked to her since... If only I hadn't said anything..." Her tiny body is shivering now, but she still refuses any tears from escaping her eyes.
"Scootaloo..." I start, but immediately trail off. I see her wince at my voice, shutting her eyes tight again and frowning.
"C'mon, Scootaloo, ya can't blame her, after what he did-"
"Shut up!" She roars, spinning around to glare at Apple Bloom, making everyone flinch and stare at her in shock. "He didn't do anything!"
"Yes, he did!" Sweetie Belle loudly protests, drawing Scootaloo glare. "He attacked my sister!"
"No, he didn't-"
"I was there! The night it happened, I was here, in my room. I heard everything." I think my heart just stopped. She had been there? I stare at the tiny unicorn filly in shock. If... If I hadn't left when I did... If the guards hadn't shown up, and I had found her... What would have happened? What would I have done to her? "I found her on the floor when he left, I thought she was going to die."
"Oh, Sweetie..." Rarity speaks sadly, putting a hoof around her sisters shoulders, but the filly keeps her defiant look on Scootaloo.
"And he did it to mah sister too!" Apple Bloom punctuates the sentence with a stomp of her hoof "I even saw 'im do it in the school. Don't ya remember?" Hadn't she been so focused on Scootaloo, she would've seen the frown returning to Cheerilee's face, or Applejack standing up with a look of disapproval. My heart just keeps sinking with every word spoken, they would've brought up many painful memories, if they weren't always present in my mind already. Scootaloo just gives the farm filly a very level look, narrowing her eyes.
"I know what happened. It happened to me too, or did you forget?" This causes the entire room to go silent again. Her two friends give each other guilty looking glances, while the mares just give her pained, understanding looks. I avert my eyes again, the feeling of nails penetrating my heart. What have I put you through, little Scootaloo?
"But he didn't do it." Surprised, I turn my attention back to the filly. I meet her eyes, her body turned to the side so she can look back at me. "I know that, and so does everypony." She turns back towards the girls, looking each and every one of them in the eyes. "So why does everypony still act like it's his fault!?" The accusation in her voice makes everyone look at each other with guilt and shame. "Why does everypony keep telling me to stay away from him? Am I the only one who sees him for what he really is?" Her voice cracks and falters, making her swallow hard to fight back against her body's need to cry. She turns around towards me, looking up at my face.
"He's my friend." I feel my heart jump and my breath hitching. Our eyes meet again, hers are starting to shimmer with wetness, but still no tears. We look at each other in silence for a while. I'm stunned. I so want to believe her, but a part of me knows she's just being naive... And I still can't forgive myself. I avert my eyes to the floor again with a heavy sigh.
"Scootaloo..."
"Stop calling me that! You almost never used to call me by my name." Her voice is trembling at this point, but I keep my eyes on the floor, even as I hear her take a step closer to me. "Please... I've lost my hero... Don't let me lose my friend too... I just can't believe you would ever hurt me on purpose..." She tries to stifle a small whimper, making her voice choke. I glance over at her, she has fallen down on her haunches, her head leaning down so far her muzzle is almost touching the floor. I raise my eyes higher, looking at the other girls. All of them are watching us in silence, their eyes having gone misty, the two fillies having tears gathering in the corners of their eyes.
I let my eyes rest on Scootaloo's trembling form. So small and so young. What she's had to go through is just horrible. I would give anything, do anything just to see her smile again. That thought ignites something in the back of my mind. Anything. Were it within my power, there was no price I wouldn't pay in order to make all of them smile again.
Slowly, I crouch down, ignoring my body's protests, until I'm down on one knee. I look over the little filly's face, her eyes and teeth are clenched so tight her face is scrunched up. She keeps choking back her sobs. Stubborn little filly, you're more like your idol than you know. I reach my hand out to her, extending my index finger, and then proceed to boop her on the nose. She pulls her head back with a start, blinking a few times before looking down at the tip of her muzzle with a puzzled look on her face.
"Hey, Scoots..." At the mention of her nickname, she looks up at my face with wide eyes. Have to admit, it does feel good to say it again. "I would never. Ever. Intentionally hurt you." Her eyes grow even wider, the tears she'd fought so hard against finally starting to well up in them, her lower lips begins to quiver as she desperately bites into it to try to stop it.
She throws herself at me, burying her head into my chest, as she throws her arms around my abdomen. Catching me off guard, the first sensations I feel are pain from my wounds and dread over feeling her touch, making my first instinct to pull away, but the desperate grip she has around me, like her life depended on it, makes me stay put. So I just stand there on one knee, my arms placed awkwardly out to the sides, looking down at this tiny filly hugging me for dear life. She's openly crying now, sobbing loudly, and I can already feel a wet patch forming on my chest. I still feel uneasy having her touch me, but something else is overpowering that feeling, something familiar that I can't place; a lightness, and a feeling that this, right here, is right.
Slowly and carefully, I start lowering my arms. I'm feeling myself starting to choke up as well, my sight growing misty. When my hands are an inch away from her, I freeze up, letting them hover there. My hands are trembling. What am I doing? Pry her off me, I don't deserve her friendship. She can't really forgive me... I take a deep breath, calming myself. I look deep inside myself, searching past my fears. What do I really want? Another breath. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her deep into my embrace. She gasps in surprise, but then starts crying harder, digging her hooves even deeper into my sides.
Another sob draws my eyes towards the other girls, all of them are crying too, the fillies most of all, their sisters holding them tightly in their hooves. I look back down at the little pegasus in my own arms, not being able to keep my own tears from finally flowing as well. My face feels strange, my lips feel like they're being stretched, pushing my cheeks to the side. I realize that I am smiling. A small, sobbing chuckle escapes my lips. I am smiling. A real smile. I can't even remember the last one I had. I suddenly recognize that strange familiar feeling inside of me.
Happy. I'm feeling happy.