Wake up at 6:30, get ready and go to work around 8. Do a soul crushing days worth of work doing something I couldn't care less about. Come home, eat an unhealthy microwave meal while claiming it's only temporary, I'll start eating healthy and working out regularly. Eventually. Just not tonight.
Tonight I'll do what I do every night. I'll turn on my tower, slide my chair an unsafe distance close to the screen(I already wear glasses, If I keep this up for much longer I'll have to upgrade my prescription), pop off my prosthetic leg, and relax in the glow of a video based website.
Truly, Youtube is a godsend. Through its providence I have had many a night where boredom has been staved off through copious amounts of man made film and animation. I may be a bit of an anime nut, but that doesn't mean I didn't branch out and enjoy other venues.
One other such thing I enjoy doing is creating super heroes.
I've never been a very active individual. I have no excuse, I've seen and heard tales of people worse off than me doing things that would blow your mind. Guys in wheelchairs playing basketball. A guy with one leg cutting a jig on a DDR platform. A man with no arms, functioning and leading a relatively normal life, on his own, without outside assistance.
I honestly have no room to bitch. My leg was... damaged in a... 'car accident'... yeah, lets go with that, and replaced with a fake made of advanced rubber and plastic. If I had the drive I could probably actually make something out of myself. As is, I'm a lazy, directionless individual with no goal in life.
So I play pretend. There's this website, it has this hotlink thing that when you click on it, it'll send you to a random page on a particular wiki. A wiki containing every single cataloged super power, ability, so on and so forth. The point of it is, you pick out up to 5 random powers, and try to make a character with them. It's all for fun, and there's not really a system they give you to play with after you create someone. So I make up my own stories.
Can't think of a better way to waste my time. So I dialed up the site, hit the button for the first power, and the internet decided to flip me the bird.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Artificial_Limbs
The user possesses at least one artificial limb that has a variety of functions and enhancements. The parts can be technological, magical, or both.
While there were plenty of superheroes with fake limbs, -heck, Cyborg barely had ANY real flesh left- this still felt like a slap in the face after a shitty day. Oh well, I could spin this as 'mechanical ears' or 'jet wings'. Needless to say, after my indignation had died down, I could work with this. If not, I could just re-roll. You're supposed to limit yourself to three re-rolls according to the site rules. I tried to follow them, so I didn't end up making a god each and every single time. Otherwise creating a character just wasn't very fun.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Physical_Nonexistence
The user discards their physical form, becoming intangible and undetectable. Their physical existence will be effectively erased so long as this power is active, rendering them intangible and imperceptible, lacking any scent, sound, visibility and any other traces of being there. Advanced users can control what physical attributes to discard while maintaining an existential form to interact with others.
Lame. I never really like non corporeal powers. Guess I was always just more into the physical side of things. I'd definitely re-roll that one, unless something worse came along.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Powerful_Objects
Some immensely strong and powerful Objects in fictional universes (such as the DC, Marvel, W.I.T.C.H) can grant numerous superpowers to the wielder. Some of these objects are sentient and have a mind and will of their own and can even take full possession of their host's mind and body if the host is in grave danger, or when the host is angered or enraged. These sentient artifacts/objects can even speak through their host when it takes full control over the host's body and mind. The voice of the object depends upon the sex of its chosen host. For example: if the host is female than the voice of the artifact is female, same goes for male. The voice of the artifact is much deeper than its host and even alters his or her personality. Most items are accompanied by Powers Via Object.
Okay...That could potentially work quite well with the synthetic limb thing. Maybe spin it so it was like that one version of Thor, where the guy found the stick and that's what turned him into Thor...I digress. Make the synthetic limb an object of power, check.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Air_Imprisonment
The user can bind, imprison and/or otherwise stop object/being by surrounding them completely by using air/wind.
Eeeehhnnnnn. That didn't sound very cool at all. Maybe it had some sort of application, but I definitely was going to re-roll that one.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Powered_Form
In some cases the user is a normal human or normal for their species until they activate this power. The user may gain a new costume or may have their body completely change into a new form. Unlike a secret identity, the user loses their powers while outside of this form, and unlike a Super Form the user is not increasing their power, but gaining it. Some users may have powers out side of their Powered Form that's different from their true powers.
Ooooh, that was a good one...added to the Thor scenario though...might have to re-roll it. Nah, I'd keep that one. Maybe make some sort of Super Sentai or something.
So that was my five. Checking it over, I was pretty satisfied with my selection, save for the non body one and the air prison. Those just didn't fit. I discarded them (closed the tabs more like, but 'discard' just sounds so much cooler than simply clicking daintily on a computer mouse) and clicked on the powers link. What I got was...interesting to say the least.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Multiple_Forms
Users of this power have the ability to shift into numerous forms, allowing them to unlock new levels of strength or entirely different sets of powers.
Bah, it was simply another version of powered form... I knew I should have re rolled it. Oh well, not having an overpowered character would make it that more interesting. I clicked on the powers button one last time, and got a doozy.
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Power_Absorption
The user can steal powers from others, usually this is temporary and the victims naturally regain their lost power, but some users may be able to steal powers permanently.
This...oh my gosh this changed everything.
The ability to change to a powered up form, a synthetic limb, and the ability to absorb powers. This was...this described...
"It's freaking Megaman!" I shouted, leaning back in my chair. It all fit. Well. Kinda. The power form would make this a ZX type Megaman. But other than that, robot canon arm, Megaman power stealing, it all fit too dang perfectly.
"Indeed it does, doesn't it?" asked an oily voice behind me.
I whipped my chair around in a panic. How did someone get into my apartment? I locked the door! When I managed to wrestle my chair around, I was met with an odd sight. It was Discord, from My Little Pony. The new show not the old tripe. It was an okay series, it certainly didn't garner all the hate it had been getting for it's new-found fanbase. A certain character from the show was Discord. Voiced by John Delancie, AKA freaking Q from Star Trek. He looked... almost exactly like his cartoon self, same shades, textures and dimensions, just...3D. But not in a way that made it look horrible... like most variations of 2D to 3D designs somehow manged to do.
"I...Uh...how?" For all I knew, I could be having some sort of dream, having fallen asleep at the computer. I instantly threw that idea out the window though, with how the chair fabric was pinching at my leg after my wild turn.
"Quite simple. I am a god of Chaos."
I waited for a couple seconds, but he didn't seem to feel like elaborating. Just kept floating above my floor, grinning at me madly.
"Why-"
"I became aware of a certain fellow," he interrupted me, flinging a claw out to embellish his words, "who looked like he was having so much fun! Going around, giving humans powers and abilities, and then sending them to alternate versions of my world. And to think, he was creating such delicious chaos, and he didn't even bother to invite me. What a jerk," he huffed, crossing his arms and pouting.
"You mean... the merchant?" I asked, wincing as Discord drew up close and let out a 'hmmmmmm'.
"The Merchant? You mean he has a title? And such a boring, uninspired one at that...How do you know of this though, human?"
"I... read on Fimfiction some times..." I trailed off. I didn't exactly know what Discord knew of MLPFIM, or even what I should be telling him regarding that. If he learned about Gilgamesh...wait, so did that mean Gilgamesh and all the other 'people' that were made up were actually real? Supposedly made up, I guess now. If the appearance of a certain cartoon character was anything to go by. I'm actually surprised I'm taking this so well...odd.
"Oh yes, the internet! such a delightfully chaotic innovation!"
He started going on about how the internet started out, and why it was such a crucial part in humanities evolution. I wasn't paying that good of attention.
"Why me?" I could only assume he intended to 'fictional story gary stu' me, but why me? Over 7 billion people on the planet and he chooses me?
"Meh." He flatly replied before snapping a claw at me.
~----------------------------------------------------~
I woke up leaning against a building, the bright sunlight glaring in my eyes. I raised an arm to shade my eyes, and was hit by an unwelcome realization. The limb that had been placed between my sight and the piercing harshness of daylight, was not an arm. It was a hair covered leg.
God damnit. He couldn't just give me some powers? He had to warp my body into an unfamiliar form? Bah. I'd read too many fimfic's to be thrown too badly about this. I didn't feel like I was struggling to move my ar-...leg, and it seemed to have all the dexterity of my arm previous. Sans the fingers, of course. At least since I had a new body I wouldn't have to deal with a fake leg, I'd have to thank Discord for that at the very least.
I set my new leg back down and immediately rescinded my opinion. My back legs were suspended in some sort of wheeled harness, my leg no longer replaced by a fake, simply the stub hanging free. At least my left leg still was intact, and moving it around seemed to indicate it was perfectly fine.
"Enjoying the new threads?" Discord's oily voice asked me from behind. I'd assume he had an infatuation with surprising me, but that would just be an assumption.
Regarding his choice of words, it seems I actually WAS wearing an outfit of sorts. White pants, with a giant plume of a brown tail poking out a slit in the seat. A single blue boot covering almost the entirety of my left leg, with yellow trim covering the top and some sort of springy black material making up the bottom of the boot. I was wearing a shirt, blue and yellow trimmed like the boot, but with some sort of form fitting blackened stocking reaching down my front legs and up my neck. The 'shoes' on my front legs weren't as impressive all things considered, just these blue and yellow cups that looked like they could be slipped on and off with minor hassle.
"What did you do to my prosthetic?" Quick and to the point. The sooner I got straight to the point, the less chance Discord would have to twist things out of whack and lead me on a phrase driven wild goose chase.
"That musty old thing? Quite frankly, they just don't have something like that here, so I had to make some modifications. I hope you don't mind?~"
Quite frankly, I did. But far be for me to claim the title of 'stupidest individual on the planet' and start pitching a fit towards one of the strongest beings in the universe. As a certain iteration of the Jade Giant said, 'the best way to annoy a prankster is to ignore them'.
"Not at all. Not in the slightest. Thanks for the fancy wheelchair. So whats the deal here, am I in Ponyville, am I going to have to befriend the elements of harmony and fight a big bad monster that you conjure up every other week or something?" Honestly it wouldn't surprise me. But what he did next, did surprise me, slightly.
He let out a whooping laugh, before magicking a water bottle out of nowhere and sucking it all up into one eye. Plastic bottle and all. I didn't have enough time to read the label, but I bet it read 'tear'. Wouldn't put it past him.
"Oh no no no no! I wouldn't do that to my new, bestest friend ever! I gave you a bit of a background, so to speak. You work at the Equestrian Post Service, Ponyville branch. You're already good friends with one of the elements -where else did you think you acquired such a sensational outfit?- and I don't need to be sending monsters, this is Ponyville," he declared with two outstretched limbs flung outward. His head and his left leg, if you were wondering. "They literally have the worst luck when it comes to disturbances around here. So you see, I'm actually doing my part to help out around here, in my own little way."
Jerk. Could fix everything with a snap of his claws, but everything has to be some form of entertainment for him. Reminds me of my boss.
"Allright then...so was I doing something before you zapped me here, or do I just start tomorrow or something?" A little bit of forewarning would be nice.
At this, he got a little bashful look on his face, and I knew something was up. Didn't know what, but it definitely was something, the way he was scuffing at the ground with his previously outstretched leg.
"I...uhh...got kinda bored waiting for you to wake up. So I started without you. Beat up a timberwolf, broke a building, got into a fight with a certain captain of the guard... so you got Shining Bubble now, congrats, tata!"
And with that he winked out of sight. Like, he winked one eye, and then the rest of his body spiraled into nothingness, right into his eye until there was nothing left, simply vanished.
And with that, I came face to face with a group of irate ponies, running around the corner of the building.
Seven guards, the aforementioned captain of the guard (Shining Armor, Twilights brother), Twilight herself, and a random background pony I didn't recognize.
"...Hello there...what seems to be the problem?"
What. You try to think up a better icebreaker.