//------------------------------// // Ch 2: Dance dance diplomacy prt 1 // Story: Friendship and Space Magic. What could go wrong? // by Redstargazer //------------------------------// Rarity was currently stressing over her latest Canterlot order. Some Duke had commissioned her to make enough costumes to equip every member of his staff for a ball being held at his mansion. The challenge wasn’t posed by the time limit and numbers so much as the nature of the commission. He wanted them to be elegant enough to catch the eyes of his guest without actually showing them up. He also seemed to have a preference of matching their designs favored by the Prench nobles. Now while Rarity simply adored the Prench fashions, she couldn’t help but be a little unsettled by the concept of this little project. Every servant was to carry out their duties silently while dressed in these elegant uniforms and wearing simple ball masks. Who would want a party where nameless, masked strangers slipped in and out of the shadows to silently lurk among the guests? The very idea sent shivers through her. Still, it was paying work and, from what the rumors suggested, the Duke was known to be a tad eccentric anyway. More importantly, she was making the finishing touches on the last costume and would soon be free to go back to her own projects. Perhaps after a cup of her favorite herbal tea? Yes, nothing seem to help sooth overworked nerves than a nice cup while sitting by the fire peacefully- “RESISTANCE IS POINTLESS!!!” Rarity sighed at the squeaky declaration and following thumping noises coming from upstairs. “Looks like work and relaxation will have to wait until I see to the Terrible Trio,” she mumbled as she headed up stairs. Rarity didn’t bother knocking as she slipped into the room with well-rehearsed reprimand in progress. “Sweetie, darling, I know you and your friends love your games but I must insist that…I…” she looked around at the latest CMC brand of chaos. Materials and equipment were scattered across the floor. Applebloom and Scootaloo were braced behind a toppled couch wearing various cooking ware as odd makeshift armaments. Her own sister stood in the center wearing what seemed like a combination black cloth and surgical tubing wrapped into an impromptu body suit. Her face was layered in foundation to make it even paler than normal and a monocle covered her left eye. “Rarity! We are not playing games,” Sweetie squeaked indignantly, “we’re making plans to prepare for potential alien threats. Together we are-” Sweetie took in a deep breath. Seeing the signs, Rarity used her magic to pull out the earplugs she recently started storing in her mane for these sleep overs as Applebloom and Scootaloo joined in for one of their typical rally calls. “THE CUTIEMARK CRUSADER ALIEN INVASION PREVENTION SQUAD, YAY!!!” Rarity took out her earplugs and pulled out a comb in their place to quickly fix her windblown mane before addressing the crusaders, “Yes, that’s very nice but, since there has been no known situations before or any indication of the possibility of aliens, what are you basing these plans on?” “We’re basin’ em on established theories, o’ course,” Applebloom smugly as before pulling some booklets from her saddlebags and tossing them over. The exasperated designer caught them in her magic and looked over the titles doubtfully. “Star Trot? Starllion Wars? Invasion of the Pony Snatchers!? Girls, this isn’t research. These are pure works of fiction! There isn’t a grain of truth in them!” “Exactly! Fiction gives us a starting point with rules and guidelines to be ready for the truth. After all, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction is obligated to stick to possibilities where truth isn’t.” Everypony stared Scootaloo in surprise at the unusually philosophical remark. After a few moments under the scrutiny, she finally blushed in embarrassment and stared at the ground, pawing at it as she admitted, “Uh, yeah. Pops has been on my case about my grades and has me reading ‘classical literature’” she made a disgusted face and quotation hooves at the last term. “Well, as nice as it is to see you take study in proper literature,” Rarity said dryly, “no amount of misquoted Mark Neighn is going to convince me about any of this alien invasion foalishness.” Her features became stern as she went on, “Now you girls are going to clean this mess and-”  Rarity’s lecture was interrupted by the sound of thunder. “Strange,” she said bewilderedly, “the weather team never planned any storms today.” Confusion turned to fear a second peal sounded and became a continuous, increasingly loud rumble. Objects started tumbling off the selves as the shop began to shake. “Girls!” she yelled in alarm, “under the table, quickly!” For once, the CMC did as they were told without argument. Rarity tried to join them, but fell to the ground as the entire shop shook beneath her hooves and a deafening boom filled the air. Flecks danced across her vision as her face hit the floor. As quickly as it started, the noise and tremors stopped and the shop stilled. Rarity shook her head to clear her vision as she struggled to her hooves with the help of a worried looking Sweetie Bell. “Uh, Rarity?” Scootaloo called uncertainly from her new spot beside Applebloom as they both started out the window. “You might want to rethink your opinion about our ‘alien invasion foalishness.’”  Rarity and Sweetie worked their way slowly to the window. Rarity’s eyes bulged at the sight while Sweetie just smirked and said in a squeaky voice, “They’re heeereee.”     ****       The entire Royal Solar and Lunar Guards were assembled at the base of the mountain where Canterlot rested. The formation was headed by both of the Pony Sisters as they never had before in centuries. The elements had also been assembled and called to stand beside the Royal Sisters at the head of the formation. Clinking could be heard as numerous guards from both companies tried and failed to keep from shivering in fear at the sight before them. Even Celestia and Luna had to struggle to maintain a calm demeanor for their little ponies as they faced the terrifying form before them. Within a crater formed by its landing a massive, metallic behemoth stood on four legs and faced the direction of Canterlot as it had when it landed a couple of hours before. It stood over one hundred meters in height and its eyes glowed with an eerie blue light. It had turned toward the military formation that had assembled before it but did nothing else since then. “I don’t know why the rest of you are worried. It’s just a pile of scrap metal! I’m sure not s-scared!” Rainbow Dash tried to say haughtily. She hovered in the air behind the other elements while crossing her front hooves in an attempt to look tough while hiding her own trembling. “As inspirational as that is to tha rest of us,” Applejack drawled sarcastically at Rainbow before turning a worried face to the Pony Sisters, “I don’ s’ppose either of yer highnesses have dealt with anythin’ like this before have ya?” Celestia and Luna both shook their heads. “In all my time, I have never seen a creature like this. Even the oldest prisoners held in Tartarus didn’t reach this size,” Celestia said with a small frown on her face, “the last metal beast I recall seeing was Talus and even he wasn’t this large.” She looked and her frown deepened in worry, “I wasn’t even aware constructs could be that large and stand under their own weight. Much less fall out of the sky!” “This isn’t a normal construct, sister.” Everypony turned surprised looks toward Luna who focused an intense stare on the creature. “Does nopony feel that? Tis emitting an aura; a living aura. The truly strange part is how it…flickers,” Luna looked at the rest with an apologetic frown, “I truly know no other way to describe it. At one moment I sense a lonely soul. At another, it seems to hold a host of thousands, nay millions screaming in pain. Beneath all of it I sense something old. Something…cold and devoid of empathy or kindness.” Luna closed her eyes and muttered softly, “Something like her.”     Celestia eyes tightened in worry as she looked to her sister with concern. She hated to see her sister reminded of those dark times after just reuniting. But even more worrisome, she thought as her gaze went back to the gargantuan figure, is the idea that this thing might be remotely similar to Nightmare. There was no telling what sort of power a thing like that might be capable of. “Awww, come on, girls,” Pinkie Pie said as she rolled her eyes, “Isn’t everypony overreacting? Nopony with a party cannon that big could be all bad. I might even have to ask him where he gets his party supplies.”  The Princesses and Elements looked at the party mare in confusion. “Pardon my little pony?” Celestia asked uncertainly, “what party cannon?” “Well, duh,” Pinkie said as she pointed upwards, “that big one just above and behind his head.” Everypony looked up at the indicated direction and their eyes widened. All of them had been so distracted by the sheer size that none had noticed, or even considered the idea of, an additional weapon present. Looking closer at the cylindrical shaped chamber above its head, however, it was impossible to mistake it for anything else. “Princess,” Celestia looked down to see her faithful student shivering beside her, “I can’t even begin to guess what kind of projectiles something like that might use but factoring the size alone,” Twilight eyes widened slowly as she whispered, “it could wipe Canterlot off the map in one blast.” “Remain calm my little ponies,” Celestia said quietly in an attempt to soothe them. “We cannot act rashly. The creature has yet to make any moves. In the meantime, we may wish to keep this discovery quiet. Otherwise, we could start a-” “Hey, hang on! Is that a cannon?!” “Holy horse apples! Look at the size of that thing!” “We’re all going to die!” “-panic,” the Princess finished flatly as apprehensive muttering rose from the formation behind her. She shook her head and looked up at the creature as it continued to stare down at the crowd and do nothing. What in Tartarus could that creature be thinking? she thought anxiously.   ****   “WHAT IN DARKSPACE HELL COULD YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING!?!” An hour after MS had landed at the drop zone, an endpoint for the quantum entanglement line was established inside the Reaper Destroyer to allow me to send through a holosphere to communicate to the locals. The both of us were sitting in the Destroyer command center where we could watch events through a vid screen while I planned my contact speech. You know, the whole phase of the contact where you offer gifts, promise not to stomp them into paste, etcetera. Except I was planning this message for a bunch of farmers in the countryside, not legions of panicky soldiers. “When I mentioned dropping a behemoth on their front porch I wasn’t being literal,” I said to MS in exasperation. “You were supposed to land in a sparsely populated area. The locals would freak out, messages would be sent, and the government would send someone to check things out. Through all of that, we would sit back and let them get used to our presence. By the time an envoy reached us, the first witnesses would probably have chilled out enough to let them know ‘Hey! Don’t worry about the big guy. He mostly stands around doing nothing. No threat here!’” I turned toward MS while making the best attempt of a glare as I could using a bouncing orb of light. “Now, instead of a few dozen farmers to pass some word of mouth, we’re facing their rulers backed by a force of over nine thousand terrified soldiers. OVER NINE THOUSAND!!! JUST WHAT THE HECK DO WE DO NOW!?! OH NO! I’M STARTING TO LOSE IT MORE THAN USUAL! MS! SLAP ME!” MS tilted his head while giving a questioning beep. “I’M IN A FRIGGIN PANIC, THAT’S WHY! NOW STOP QUESTIONOING AND DO IT!!!” A brief whistle sounded as the marauder’s hand flew through the air; only to go straight through me doing no more than causing my image to blink. We both stared at each other for a few moments, me in mortification and him waiting for a command, before I finally spoke up again. “Riiiight. Stupid Jeff. I’m in hologram form, meaning there’s no inherent mass to slap in the first place. Wonder why I keep forgetting that? “Well, whatever. Distracted me from panicing. Purpose served.” I glanced at the video screen showing the pony forces, then back at MS. “So. Happen to have any ideas off the top of your head?” Marauder shrugged and answered in a series of beeps and grunts.   The answer left me staring incredulously back. “Really? Really!?! That’s your answer!?! Distract them with a beam of light so you can jump from cover and take them by surprise!? What the heck is the point of that?! We’re supposed to be bringing a message ‘We come in peace’ not ‘We’ll leave you in pieces!’ Just how stupid are you?” A line of beeps and grunts came in retort. “Oh, hoity toity Mr. ‘I’m just a figment of your imagination so I’m as stupid as you make me.’ Seriously, how many centuries are you going to throw that in my face before you get some new material?” MS gave another beeping retort. “We’ve gone over this MS. I decided to use a Destroyer to make contact because it’s smaller and, in theory, less threatening. It’s only around a hundred and sixty meters tall while Troop Transports can be over two hundred meters tall. The smaller the better in a situation like this. Now I will admit, some of that nonthreatening vibe would be lost by the fact that Destroyers have giant guns strapped to their heads, but consider the facts,” I pulled up a new screen displaying text and data, “based on our probe observation, none of their history involves use of any advanced weaponry. There’s no record of gunpowder or similar compounds used and the closest thing they have to fireworks and artillery come from direct use of magic rather than any tool resembling weapons. Logically speaking, they should have no way of having the concept of a cannon in the first place, let alone be able to recognize one.” My theory was dashed as bits of pony conversation came in through the audio receivers. “Hey, hang on! Is that a cannon?!” “Holy horse apples! Look at the size of that thing!” “We’re all going to die!” “DARN YOU AND YOUR NON CANONICAL SOCIETY!!” I yelled in frustration, my voice ringing through the halls of the Destroyer. “Okay, okay play it cool, Jeff. Don’t panic. Just consider your options.” When he first got news about these ponies, he actually considered using music to break the ice. Perhaps even with a few extra gimmicks? However, the song he had picked was basically a love song and he was pretty sure acceptable messages of peace didn’t include something that sounded like he was trying to get to second base. Hang on a second. Where would second base even be on a pony? No! Focus, Jeff! Focus! Options. Option one might be doable but at the cost of some uber awkwardness. What other options are there though? Maybe just sitting in silence until they decide I won’t do anything. Sure, they were reasonable beings right? I could just wait here without any need for- Amidst my little bout of indecision, the scanners noted large an energy spike and the audio picked up some conversation from the white winged unicorn. “Spread word and see about preparing an evacuation. I may have to target a Sun Strike.” “Aaaand uber awkwardness it is!”       ****       “Sister, art thou sure about this?” Luna asked softly. “Even a small Sun Strike would leave devastation in the surrounding land.” “I am well aware of the risk, but we may have to consider it anyway,” Celestia replied just as softly, worry lining her voice. “From what we have seen so far, this is either a weapon left lying around and has to be removed or is being controlled by an unstable mind. We will try diplomacy but we must also be prepared to-” Celestia was interrupted by a loud, electronic squeal that filled the air and forced the entire pony host to fold their ears in pain. The squeal faded and was replaced by strange chanting. “Uga chaka uga chaka uga uga uga chaka.” A single voice broke into song through the chanting and alien music blared from the creature. Before anypony could react, the gigantic creature twisted itself as far to the left as it could. It paused a second before twisting its way to fully to the opposite direction, filling the air with grinding and whining as massive machinery worked to support its movements. “Sister,” Luna breathed out, “is…is it doing what I think it is doing?” Celestia shook her head in wonder. “It…it seems to be...” “YEAH! It’s getting its groove thang on!!” Pinkie shouted excitedly as she danced happily to the catchy music. Before Celestia could say anything in answer, she noticed the creature lifting one of its feet. “EVERYPONY BRACE YOURSELVES!!!” The foot came smashing into the ground on a downbeat of the song, sending everypony to their knees from the shockwave. As it continued to stomp to downbeats, the pegasi and alicorns eventually took flight to avoid the worst of the shock waves while unicorns had to use shock absorption spells to aid themselves and their earth pony associates. The Equestrian host watched in awe for the next few minutes as the imposing being continued its lumbering dance. The air was filled with strange music, hydraulic and grinding noise as the creature twisted, and thundering booms as it shook the ground while stomping to the downbeats of the song. At the song’s end, the creature gave a final stomp and settled back into its earlier position where it resumed staring at the mass of ponies below. Silence hung between the ponies and giant. After recovering enough composure to close her own gaping jaw, Celestia looked around to gauge the reactions of her ponies. The soldiers, Solar and Lunar alike, stared agape at the recently dancing giant. Their once pristine armor had become disheveled and dust covered as they had given up trying to straighten them halfway through the song. The Elements and her sister were likewise disheveled and staring; except for Pinkie. She was still dancing and hopping to the alien tune that she now hummed to herself. She was actually better kept than the rest of them as she had somehow timed her hops in such a way that she had avoided the worst of the tremors. It was Rainbow who broke the silence. “Did…did that thing just hit on us?”