The sound of the semi-liquid flowing through our espresso machine was the song of an angel, announcing to me that the End of Times had been postponed for another day. This simple morning would not be followed by Reality crashing down, because I finally got my coffee.
Letting out a sigh of relief, rubbing at the bags under my eyes, I grabbed the cup from under the machine and took a step left, just in case one of my colleagues needed it. Then, I put the cup to my lips.
My eyes shot wide open, as the molasses-like thing washed over my tongue. Like a whiplash, my senses came to a full awareness and perhaps beyond that, if only because my body was convinced it was now in imminent danger. Not that my mind was any better.
I could honestly believe that stuff was pure poison. It tasted that bad. Only repeated and increasingly desperate attempts at feeling the caffeine have any sort of bucking effect on me could have prepared me for it. But it was still amazingly bad.
With a shiver of disgust, I forced the cup away from me with a little bit of levitation magic. Okay, it did its job for now… I thought before cursing the Elders for this injustice. To force poor little alicorns like me to drink something so hideous to survive…
Perhaps that was why Celestia liked tea.
Food for thoughts, huh?
Well, nonetheless, I should probably throw away the whole batch before somepony got hurt.
With a nod to myself, I turned. Too late, I saw that an unsuspecting colleague of mine had managed to get to the machine and make herself a cup. With a grateful grunt, the beige mare had risen it to her lips, not suspecting what she was subjecting herself to.
One second in, and already the porcelain object was thrown across the air, somehow landing in the sink.
“Who made this stuff?!” the poor unfortunate soul gasped, before retching and making a beeline for the bathrooms.
I winced while she disappeared behind the closed door. Sorry.
I would have followed to make sure she was at least okay, but one large black wing fell over my back and pulled me into a stallionly hug. “Morning, Cloud.”
“H-hey, Thunderlane,” I stuttered, taken by surprise.
Don’t feel my wings, don’t feel my wings, please don’t feel my wings!
“I’m glad to see you’re still alive,” he snickered.
I did not need to force a blush on my face. It came naturally. “You never told me Rumble could do that…”
“Well, I had no idea myself!” He snorted and poked my shoulders. “Pretty sure it’s coming from some bad influence. You know full well what started it.”
Indeed I know…I thought, remembering how our last outing had ended. Why, I could still easily hear the panicked screeches and the desperate plea.
“Not the Princess Celestia poster!”
And then… death.
The point was, it would be best if we did not show up there for a little while.
“Touché…” I grumbled, swallowing yet another gulp of hellishly strong coffee.
Once more, I groaned at the complete lack of effect it had on my mind besides telling me that horses cannot throw up no matter how desperately they wished they could. How ironic.
My work shift would start in literally a minute and I was just about to fall to the ground with my eyes closed. Those quick boosts the abominable coffee-like liquid was providing me with were merely temporary comforts, ending with me feeling both tired and nauseous.
With a disgusted grunt, I gave up and flicked the thing away from my face. There was just no way around it. I would have to get used to never using coffee to wake up again.
I jealousy eyed the thermos Thunderlane uncorked and tilted toward his mouth. If only…
“Thunderlane, Cloud Circle,” we heard an older voice come from our right.
Suddenly much more serious, we twisted around and presented ourselves as serious as possible, Thunderlane by hiding his thermos behind a wing. Professionalism was the word of the day.
Especially in front of the blue pegasus that was our boss.
“You two aren’t doing grunt work today.”
I perked up, unable to keep the sudden curiosity from my face. At my side, I could tell Thunderlane was equally curious, though not as enthusiastic.
Fierce Storm, his muzzle still in his paper, was frowning something… well, fierce. He was a bit of a control freak like that, made for a decent enough manager, but with an inflexible streak the likes of which had to be seen to be believed.
“No, colts,” he said, finally looking us both in the eyes. “A Canterlot big shot has requested two weather ponies to help with the temporary repairs of his airship. Said he had an unlucky run-in with a dragon and some of the frame has to be replaced, and since that requires unicorn and pegasus magic, you two are it.”
“Hey!” protested a raspy voice that dashed for our location. “If they’re looking for an expert at weather manipulation, why aren’t you sending me?”
Rainbow Dash.
Oh hay no. It would be my death. The figurative death of the ‘Cloud Circle’ persona, I meant. I had little doubt that if she found out, then the whole town would soon know as well.
“Because you’re my assistant, Rainbow Dash. That means I need your help and the few times I actually have it instead of you frolicking on princess-damned business again, I will take it!”
Her wings shook with indignation, but she said nothing, blowing hot air out of her muzzle with a frown on her face. She was dropping it, to my everlasting relief.
Thank you, nameless guardian angel!
“So, no more objections, you two are it, end of discussion. You’ll find it on the eastern side of the town, a mile outside the borders. Can’t miss it.”
We could only stare at one another before our boss turned to the rest of the team.
“You lots know your schedule, so get to work!”
So, a Canterlot big shot with an airplane…? And a run-in with a dra– Oh buck me.
--
In yet another area of the town, one most of all very carefully monitored by the weather patrol, time had ticked by oh so slowly. For the sun had already risen and reached the peak of its course through the sky all the while one reddish schoolhouse dispensed knowledge to the future members of pony society.
And valiantly, the little ones attempted to remain focused, despite the pleasant warmth of the room, the looooong time they had been stuck sitting there and the difficult problems thrown at them.
Then came the one thing that everypony in attendance had prayed for with pious devotion: the shrill sound of the school’s recess bell. Oh, how joyous the foals were, for this was the chime of freedom and fun! Playing around for the whole lunch hour, none of them could wait!
But Miss Cheerilee, ever the kind tyrant, first told them they had to calmly put their things away and leave quietly without pushing each other.
With… minimal protest, the students all started to eagerly grab their stuff and shove them into their saddlebags, too conscious of each precious second lost when they could already be outside and eating their lunch!
At the back of the room however, an orange pegasus colt nervously pawed at the top of his desk, his eyes staring ahead of him and nowhere near the essay he had started. His feathers shook ever so slightly, his ears were twitching. Glancing left and right, he only saw his classmates hurrying to complete this tidying up of their classroom, with the firm intent of leaving as soon as possible. No help for him there.
Not even his other pegasus friend noticed his hesitation, too enthralled by the prospect of getting out. Finally, he swallowed, then pushed his seat away.
His little legs carried him forward, toward the one he had stared at all morning long. The thought had been nagging at him, and the image of a big oaf of a brother had kept telling him to try. Truthfully, he didn’t want to.
T-there was just… that sorrowful voice, asking him about regrets. It sent him reeling every time. He could not just keep ignoring it. He would not!
Firmly, both his front hooves locked onto the ground like pillars, reaching much deeper than any foal had the right to. He was there, in front of the one filly he really didn’t want to talk to, and he was feeling the strength to do it!
But, as soon as she turned and saw him, her pupils shrinking into dots, he found his courage deserting him. And the commotion started to get noticed. Silver Spoon, a desk away, opened her mouth in shock, probably to defend her friend. Rumble had to be looking at him. The whole class had to be looking!
“S-say… Diamond Tiara…” Feather Dust stuttered. “You… huh… wanna hang out with us?”
Half of the class stared, their teacher more so than any other pony.
Squeaking, the pink filly blushed so hard that her face became akin to a tomato. For the first time in her life, she was completely speechless in front of one of her peers.
--
Sweat trickled down my eyebrows, as I gritted my teeth and forced the raw magical power into the glowing letters. Golden light shone from my horn, floating in a lazy cloud toward the damaged rune. I ignored the charred wood underneath, trying for the love of my parents to get that damn bleeding of sky magic to stop.
But a bolt, a stride away from us, shot out of its position with a small detonation. Buck.
Two black hooves pushed against the unruly planks, and I hurried to his spot. Physical defects could easily unravel an hour’s worth of runic work if allowed to fester. Tartarus would become a pleasant vacation destination before I allowed that to happen. Grim, my mouth stretched in a thin line, I forced the thing down with as much pressure as I could without breaking it. Which, unfortunately, was no easy task. The base of my horn heated up, demanded that my mana either be unleashed or held back completely, no in-between.
It would be all fine and dandy if it weren’t for the… auditive interference.
“Prince Blueblood! We love you!”
“Come out, please!”
All.
Morning.
Long.
Certainly, I had learned – or acquired, whichever – the ability to ignore unwanted noises, but, no matter who or what, distance mattered. Volume as well.
And those fourteen mares all calling for one name were at the very edge of the security perimeter. Which was not nearly big enough to my liking, or Thunderlane’s.
“Holy buck, those fanmares are so annoying!” he growled.
I chuckled bitterly, unable to let rein in some vindictiveness. “Jealous?”
His face turned a darker shade of black, while he tried to muster enough indignation to properly defend the idea that he would not like to have fanmares of his own. It took long enough to be noticeable.
My grin widened in a very un-Cloud-like simile. “Oh, so you’re the kind that likes them like that? Pretty face, obsessive and determined to get in your bed at all cost?”
I got a swat of his tail in the face for that. “Shut up, Cloud.”
Worth it.
But the increasingly grating creak of the bolts underneath us wasn’t.
“Engineer!” I called, hoping to be heard over the mass of hysterical nutjobs.
To my relief, the sound of quickly approaching hoofsteps became known just as it looked like all was lost. Help came in our time of serious need in the form of two more solid hooves and a hammer.
One of Blueblood's machine engineers, the younger of the two brown earth ponies that I had met with Calx…
I really can’t remember their names.
“You’ll have to nail this piece again,” Thunderlane said in-between two grunts. “It’s busted.”
“Got it,” he acquiesced and pulled a nail from his overalls with his mouth.
With his cooperation, this plank and the next were swiftly fixed to the best of our abilities.
Finally! This section of the airship was done!
If I ever met the dragon that did this, I would kill it, no questions asked. It had no idea how complicated it was to make an airship float correctly in a world like this one.
My eyes went over to the remaining patch of burnt wood, gauging its size and the extent of the damage. Next to me, I could tell Thunderlane was doing the same while he caught his breath. And, just like me, he wished that a very dangerous freak accident hit the dragon and the next creature that would harm this airship.
Sighing, we exchanged a resigned glance and forced ourselves to march toward the last place on this ship that would test our patience and our ability not to call up thunderstorms to strike the crowd of sycophantic suck-ups that were still shouting!
Luckily for everypony, at least my patience needed not be tested any further. Halfway to the last piece of the ship that needed fixing, the door to the captain’s cabin opened.
For the briefest of moments however, a minute glint in the air caught my eyes. And there was suddenly an invisible movement, a form as tall as a pony discreetly making its way toward one of the railings opposite to the mob of mares. Entirely without the notice of either of my companions or the mad creatures wailing for their ‘Prince Charming’.
I hadn’t paid attention to what had been said in the cabin. There had been too much work to do around here, and it was delicate enough that to be distracted was to ask some sadistic force of nature ‘please, make me start this crappy work all over again’.
But there was no mistaking that unicorn for another now. The shape of her mane alone was a giveaway, and I could so easily feel the way my wind brushed against it as she graciously jumped off the ship.
Rarity?
For a brief instant, I stared at the spot she had last been, trying to imagine the very same mare that had completely blew up at him now coming to talk to him on his airship. It was not easy, despite the physical evidence I had just witnessed. Thus, the staring.
“Cloud?” Thunderlane asked, frowning a little. “Is something wrong?”
“No, I…” I tried to explain, but knew not what to say. It wasn’t really my place to talk about this with others. “Don’t worry about it, I just got distracted. Sorry…”
With a snort, he rolled his eyes and patted my back. “Don’t be like that, Cloud. It happens.”
I would have replied, already smiling as I was, had I not been cut off by a sudden peak of fanmarism.
On the deck had stepped another unicorn, with a coat just as white as I could picture Rarity’s, but with a bulk and a mane woven of a different clothe entirely. The screeches of the fanmares had thus doubled, tripled, and then gone into a full symphony of hysteria.
Shoot me, I pleaded with the Higher Forces while flattening my ears against my skull. And since They were cruel and rigid beings, They did not strike me down where I stood.
Blueblood’s façade was that of a perfectly calm noble, with nothing betraying his annoyance at the gathered mares beside a small twitch of his right ear. Striding with the sure knowledge that he owned the place, he stopped two ponies’ lengths away from Thunderlane, the brownie and myself.
“You,” he said barely looking in our direction, “the unicorn.”
The urge to remind him of his place surged within me, but immediately afterward, I felt a pang of self-consciousness. I wasn’t proud, but that pulse had almost guided my response. Too close for comfort.
I lowered my head and shrunk, forcing myself to look nervous and timid.
Here it comes…
“Y-yes, my prince…?” I asked with a breaking voice and not a little amount of embarrassment. There were fanmares staring.
“Come talk to me, I would like to hear a report of your progress so far.”
“Of c-course!” I quickly nodded, ignoring how Thunderlane was looking more and more pissed off by the second.
It’s all an act, buddy. Please don’t blow a fuse here… They'll rip you to shreds.
“Follow me,” Blueblood commanded, leading me to his private cabinet.
The door closed without my prompting, just loudly enough to disrupt my focus. Before I could rein myself in, I had already shot a glare at Blueblood.
It was simply lucky that the stallion still had his back turned to me. He was slowly trotting toward a large wooden table, on which two tall glasses waited to be refilled. They had clearly been used in the immediate past. He did not seem to care that I see this, though I figured he still had enough of an opinion of himself to brush it off.
Or, as I wondered when he looked back at me with the same confident smile, perhaps he simply thought that ‘Cloud Circle’ was unlikely to gossip.
Snapping back into character, I lowered my gaze and flicked my tail for good measure. The tip of my right front leg circled over the planks, bumped into every small crevice, while I was pretending not to have the guts to look the prince in the eyes.
“P-p-progress is around… thirty percent away from completion,” I said with the same deference I pictured of Fluttershy before the Princesses, merely, trying to be as unassuming as equinely possible, and even more. “O-of course, this is merely the temporary fix that will allow your ship to fly again… I suggest – I’m sorry if it’s not my place, I-I mean, it’s just what I think – that you have it looked over by a team of airship engineers immediately after your arrival in Canterlot.”
Silence, relatively speaking, followed my words. It wasn’t what I had expected of him. Perhaps some indignation, a few demands or, in the best case scenario, acted comprehensive and reasonable. But I hadn’t said anything worthy of a complete lack of reaction from him.
Tentatively, my gaze left the floor to meet his. Only then did he speak with a vibrant, clear voice.
“I have to admit I had no idea you could sound so humble, Prince Ventus.”
And the corners of his mouth tugged upward in a smug grin that betrayed nothing but complete conviction in his deduction. He truly knew it was me.
I sighed, dropping the mask entirely and straightening my posture. “How did you know? Did Celly tell you?”
It didn’t quite sound like the kind of thing she would do, but maybe s–
“She didn’t,” he replied, and I couldn’t keep the shock off my face. What?! “You see, I looked through the records.” His tone became haughty, as he couldn’t help but sound as smug as he felt. “Two brothers, moving out of Canterlot on that day, and one of them just happened to have a weather control specialty. Aunty’s Crown, the fact that you are a unicorn makes you stand out quite a bit. The letter of recommendation from my aunt was just the icing on the cake.”
I hadn’t thought of that. The paper trail. Oh Tartarus… How could I have overlooked that?
“Though, if you were going to go in the weather business…” he wondered, levitating a glass of red wine toward me, “why didn’t you make the illusion look like a pegasus?”
Briefly, I toyed with the glass, letting the liquid slosh around its transparent prison. It at least bought me a few seconds to think of an answer.
Celestia hadn’t said back then. Her eyes had flickered to me when I asked, and the emotion I had seen… it couldn’t have been guilt of all things.
I settled down for the likeliest reason. “You… know I don’t like flying.”
“I do,” he said, taking a sip from his glass. The red liquid inside flowed forth and back in a too organic manner. Almost like blood. Was it on his mind as well? Maybe, for he added: “It is still an unpleasant thought to have, this…”
He waved around himself, to the seemingly empty spots around himself.
“…It still boggles the mind, but I am slowly coming to accept this.”
There was no warmth in my chest, none at all, telling me that this was acceptance, gratitude or whichever. There shouldn’t have been either. Right?
A little quickly, I chose to look elsewhere, any spot at all of this small room. There might have been desperation to change the subject too.
“I have to admit I did not expect you to give me work. That is almost… nice of you.” I took another sip from the glass, placing my thoughts in order. “Should I be worried, Blueblood? Is this a plan to get back at me for some obscure reason?”
“Obscure?” he scoffed into his wine. “You know perfectly well why I tried to get back at you.”
I frowned, not liking the accusation. Had I forgotten something? No, I did not think I had. The things… what I lost in memories… they weren’t about him. And what I had done to him felt too small to deserve a vengeance of sort. He wasn’t that petty. I had come to learn and appreciate that recently.
“As a matter of fact, I do not know,” I told him slowly, trying to stay calm. “Was it something I said?”
I figured that was a reasonable inquiry. He had to tell me at least this much regardless of his convictions, right? By the look on his face however, that was something he barely consented to answering.
“Something you did, rather. Nopony has any idea why, but I alone know that only you could have gotten that reaction out of Princess Celestia.”
Interesting, I thought with a pensive frown. “And what reaction would that be?”
At this, he glared so hard I rightly fought the urge to back down. His eyes were narrowed on me, the blue of his irises seemingly of ice and frost. All sorts of promises of bodily harm danced in those eyes of his.
And no word came from him. Nothing was volunteered, nothing was said.
His scowl, so epically threatening just a second ago, looked more and more like the only way he could appear not to be sulking. That thought alone brought every small worry down with it. It was just such a familiar place to be with when talking to Blueblood.
I would have to thank him later for the wine, drinking from it made me feel both classy and in control when he was trying to will me into non-existence.
It went on long enough that I could almost finish that delightful drink. When about two sips were left, Blueblood finally relented and slumped down, miserable and embarrassed beyond all belief. His face disappeared in his hooves.
“She spat her tea during breakfast... all over me.”
Laughing would have been a terrible faux-pas.
I repeated that mantra in my head as quickly as possible, for it was just as terribly tempting to fall to the ground clutching my sides. With an obviously fake stoicism, I went on to explain just what I knew of this. “I am certain that what got such a rise out of her could not have come from me. In fact, I would never–”
“Do not lie to me!” Blueblood stomped with all the pose of a foal demanding he be taken seriously. Red still colored his face. “Before you came, nothing could have broken my aunt’s composure so! I just know it!”
It struck me again, that he was being a child, though not from reasons of petulance. From beginning to end, this prince had always admired the Solar Princess, the Mistress of Light, the Alicorn of Day, the one and only Celestia. He had always put her on a pedestal, and I was the one forcing him to see things differently. She was certainly all those things, but then…
Celestia could be surprised, she could feel pain, sadness and love as well as any other being despite all her power and cunning. She was, in other words, a pony and a mare.
So few actually thought of her this way. I knew she had an idea, but if she actually heard how many times her name was taken in vain…
“By Ventus’ spankable rump!”
My thoughts came to a screeching halt.
“What in the world?!” I blinked and twisted around, as if somepony had suddenly snuck up on me.
With my jaw on the floor, my gaze went east, toward the source of the incongruous statement. I was still baffled. D-did somepony just swear on my butt?
The answer to that question was ‘Yes’.
…That was a teenaged mare’s voice, I realized with a shiver.
“Prince Ventus,” called the one pony that was actually in the room with me, and worrying somewhat about my state of mind.
I shook my head at his approach, taking a step back to show that I was fine, and it was merely a momentarily distraction.
By somepony wanting to spank my pretty rump.
“J-just an unexpected declaration I heard.” I feel so violated.
“What… declaration?” Blueblood asked slowly, frowning.
There was no way in Tartarus I would tell! Oh, that felt a bit too wrong.
Without any conscious command on my part, my tail curled up over my left flank to protect it from this rabid fangirl that was only a few hundred miles away. “Excuse me…” I whispered toward whoever had said this. “I do not use your butt as a swearword, I would like you to return the favor.”
I doubt that would do the trick, but I absolutely had to put my hoof down on this issue.
Blueblood’s eyes had not left my form, and they were narrowed in suspicion. “Ventus, what exactly was the content of this declaration?”
He could never find out about this. Ever. In fact, nopony at all should be allowed to know.
“Seriously, Blueblood,” I said with a tremor in my voice, feeling my face heat up, “I simply caught my name being used. In an unconventional manner. Something about my good looks."
Quite frankly, I wished I still felt no qualm about letting ponies suffocate when he grinned. I honestly wasn’t very far from doing it, conscience or not.
That smug bastard… He knew what that felt like!
“Ah, I believe I understand,” he said with fake compassion. “Worry not, Prince Ventus, being exhibited like a piece of meat slowly becomes more or less second nature to royals. Surely, you will learn to drown out all this as background noise.”
I was this close to summoning a storm in his office.
“Why, I could not be more thankful for your support, Prince Blueblood. It is good to know that you have learned well… and for the record, yes, using my name is likely to capture my attention. Luckily, I am the only alicorn that really realizes how often ponies use our names to swear, in every meaning of the word.” At that, his smile slipped to be replaced by unease. His mouth twisted, and he squirmed on his hooves. That’ll teach him… Hopefully. “And no, I’m not saying it is okay to do it with other alicorns. The first one I catch doing it with my little brother’s name will not like what I will do next. The others are unfortunately too ingrained into ponies’ image of them to be rooted out yet.”
I sat down on my haunches, flapped my wings and felt the illusion falter for good measure. Then, I waited for the meaning of my words to sink in.
The silence stretched between us, while I still got the occasional glimpses of conversations in other places. Including the excited squeals of the teenager I had corrected.
… She would not shut up about it to her friends.
“I swear it was him!” she said.
“He can hear us?!”
“Please, Prince Ventus! Tell Goggles and Precious what you told me.”
“Be my special somepony!”
“Prince Ventus, can you hear us? Please, I really like your mane!”
“I wasn’t dreaming! You can hear us, I know it!”
Yes, I can, you hormone ridden fillies! Shut up, please!
Suppressing a shiver, I placed my glass of wine down on Blueblood’s table, not caring too much about the force of my telekinesis. It was time this nonsense stopped. Scowling, I forced my focus completely away from those teenagers and fully onto the unicorn that was technically a contractor for my workplace.
“Why did you want to see me today? I’m sure this misbehavior you attributed to me and this amusing discomfort of mine you just witnessed were bonuses. You had something else in mind.” A bit too forcefully, I asked again, “What was it?”
Blueblood gulped down, trying to still look the part of the fearless and peerless prince while being completely obvious about his nervosity.
“It’s… huh… this concerns the mission to restore balance of the other night...”
With a sigh, I allowed my features to soften. There was no way this could go well, but I could still try. “Yes?” I asked quietly.
“Well, I wanted you to see that… that…” His voice trailed off, as his façade crumbled into pieces. He seemed to want to speak more, to boast and show me up, yet there were no such words coming from his person.
He couldn’t.
“You see, I participated in the operation, I… I was there and–”
“You’re feeling proud of yourself.” I finished for him. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You took down a dragon.”
“With my crew’s help,” he added, and I blinked in surprise.
Would you look at that? I felt ready to grin.
“You acknowledge their contribution?”
He jolted as if shocked, then brought down his hoof in an indignant stomp.
“Of course I do!” He huffed, raising his nose in the air as if offended. “Why, if not for some timely intervention on their part, I…I might have… died… f-fallen…”
Then, as the word flowed out of his mouth, his eyes focused on the floor. The solid – breakable – floor beneath his hooves, that he could feel beneath him, that he had to know was hollow. He had to. I was certain he did; his breathing accelerated and I caught sight of a trembling strand of his mane.
He was afraid. So obviously afraid, and more to the point, on the verge of crying. His shoulders had stiffened, and his eyes had screwed shut, as if he refused to acknowledge it.
A noble pony is above such things. Or so Blueblood would believe. Of course he would believe it still, a lifelong conditioning did not disappear so easily, less so the parts that seemed ‘benevolent’.
He could not have those emotions, let alone show them, least of all to ponies ‘lower’ than him.
But I – as we both knew – was a prince.
My legs moved before I could think about it. They forced me next to Blueblood, then folded to make me sit. A little air pressure applied in the right places forced him to follow suit.
He yelped and gave me a withering glare for being manhandled. What an indignity, he doubtlessly wanted to tell me. But I had a feeling that if he tried, he would barely manage a word before his voice cracked and croaked. If not for the terror that night could still summon, then for the gentle touch of my wing across his back. He immediately stiffened, but the tip of my feathers ran over the tensest spots with sincere care. Warmth spread from every contact, helping ease the guard he had put up, as it did for me long ago.
My wing closed over him and brought him closer to me. A little rougher and a little truer to the real me. In that moment, I felt only the same desire to protect and comfort toward a younger pony. I spoke firmly, but without a trace of disappointment or reproach. “You can feel fear, you can have nightmares or shake at the thought of it happening all over again. You have this right, Blueblood. You are neither craven nor shameful. I swear to you, on my own name, that you are braver than a good deal of ponies.”
He let out a shuddering breath, refusing to acknowledge any of this. But already the muscles in his shoulders relaxed and his heartbeat slowed down.
“Princes can be scared out of their minds,” I told him with the thinnest smile. “In fact, they often are. There is a great deal to be afraid of, when in the midst of battle.”
Or afterward, I thought with a shiver, hearing the faintest crackling of flames.
Blueblood noticed my sudden discomfort, turning toward me in earnest. There was a strange mixture of curiosity and worry in the look on his face. Articulating the thought as it formed, he spoke slowly with the tone of an honest inquiry. “I have heard of your injuries… Y-you were transported to get medical attention…”
His gaze flickered to my chest, the lack of injuries probably puzzled him now that he had noticed.
“They were severe,” I admitted, “but the wounds closed up quickly enough once the one that caused them disappeared…” An itch spread in a cross-shape over my chest, one I felt my hoof rub. “And this was far from my only failing that night. I fell prey to the fear spell of the now deceased King Sombra. It made me act recklessly and cruelly.”
I did not know why I volunteered that information to him. It simply came out in the middle of my spiel to reassure him, to show him that even alicorns could be the slaves of such lowly things as emotions. But I realized, strangely, that this was something I had only shared with Celestia beforehoof. And that this could only lead to one thing.
He asked, because of course he would be the only one to dare ask it to my face. And the only one that did not care enough to spare me the guilt.
“Was it only the fear spell?”
Damn it, Blueblood…
It was already hard to accept that my actions had been so totally reckless and selfish on their own, but it felt so much worse to wonder… how much? Had the magic done anything other than show me a few visions? Had it simply been me the entire time?
“Honestly? I could not tell you. I remember what it showed me, I remember what it made me feel, but I also know I was free from his influence before the Elements struck him down.”
“Grandfather?” I heard, again, the impression, the curious question of that child.
That child. The only one that I had met and didn’t take for myself. The rest…
It had always been so damned tempting to call the windigoes.
“It’s… it’s not important,” I whispered quickly, scrambling to my hooves and standing up.
“It is…” Blueblood replied, getting up as well. “But I will not pry.”
“Thanks,” I said in earnest, looking at him with relief. It was nothing pleasant to think about. He probably understood why better than most.
A weight lifting off my shoulders, I looked upon him with a sincere smile. And no little amount of pride. He had changed so much in so little time, simply because he wanted to be better, because once he had been forced to look, he had refused to close his eyes again.
“…You’re different,” Blueblood told me.
I… huh… what?
“Something about your eyes, the way you look at others…”
You saw that much, eh? No wonder you were so scared of me at first…
I felt my knees buckle from under me. Without warning, the world had disappeared and I had been falling.
Flashes of light, of colors and sounds, hitting me like a freight train then gone the next second. The cabin vanished in a blur, other images came to me, imposed themselves to me as absolute truths. There was a colt, then games, the stars as a playground and a pair of watchful parents.
“Ventus, catch me if you can!” My friend taunted me. And, of course, I obliged, had obliged.
The past, that was from the past. Not – the present – Blueblood, somepony else, but a stallion as well. Younger. In looks, at least.
A phantom touch poked my sides, just before I turned and saw a sly grin and wiggling eyebrows. “Are you watching the pretty mortal mares in your cousin’s realm?”
“Shut up,” I said, but I was still embarrassed, and the heat I felt on my face gave him too much ammunition for this banter.
He didn’t say anything. But his wing briefly covered my back, and his eyes told me that he believed Calx could still be found.
“Is Cloud Circle home?”
This one hadn’t been a memory.
It had been close, a lot closer than it should have been. T-the… location…
I let out a groan, trying to focus under the throbbing wave of pain threatening to split my head open.
A blue cloud of magic held me up, its conjurer looking at me with a frown. “Prince Ventus?”
A moment was necessary to let the nausea fade, else I feared I would start throwing up the minute I opened my mouth.
“I… I’m sorry, I just thought I heard…” I could not finish that sentence, not verbally. It just seemed too unbelievable.
I just thought I heard an old foalhood friend of mine.
Most likely, I had been mistaken. With how many voices I hear every second of each day, I could be forgiven for confusing one with another… That was just a disadvantage of being so conscious of so many sounds at once.
It had come from Ponyville, that couldn’t have been him. There… there was just no way.
He wasn’t around, was he?
--
Diamond Tiara had trouble deciding if she should feel like her father had finally bought her that specially enchanted cloud-bed she wanted, or if he had only promised to think about it.
She was spending her whole lunch break with Feather Dust, the new cute colt in their class, who was secretly an alicorn prince. She had heard of trashy romance more subtle than that! But it was only natural, because she always got what she wanted, whether that was something or somepony.
Even he fell in line… sort of. He was skittish, timid, restrained, and even blushing sometimes. This was a side of him she hadn’t known before, not that she wasn’t pleasantly surprised.
She did not suspect that his behavior related more to a fear of his image. The colt’s thoughts were in fact turned toward how boring fillies were, and he could not believe he had chosen to spend the WHOLE lunch break with two of them. It was even worse than the last time, because there were plenty of really cool things to do outside!
When Feather Dust had decided to take to the air with Rumble for a bit, claiming to want to stretch, she had known that he was feeling the same way. Still, it was pretty annoying how he kept asking her to try all those… brutish games with the other foals.
Climb a tree? Noooooo, too dirty. Play tag? Not with pegasi! King of the hill?
No, no, no, no!
No fun allowed. Not the kind that colts liked, at least. Seriously, couldn’t they think of their appearance? What would they do if somepony important passed by? Look dirty and stupid, that’s what!
And when she thought more about who Feather Dust actually was, it just baffled her. She simply couldn’t wrap her head around that thought. It was just so… so weird. He was, like, Princess Celestia’s little cousin! Shouldn’t he be more…?
More what?
She couldn’t tell and it was driving her nuts!
If it was her, she wouldn’t be just playing around like this. Ah! She’d have other ponies to play around for her, pamper her, praise her… not… not act like any other pony!
“Why should anypony care about you?” came the echo of their last conversation.
With a grunt, she stomped her hoof down. A bitter taste filled her mouth, making her pull a face like she’d bit into one of those disgusting lemons they sold on the market. Why couldn’t she get that question out of her head?!
“Tiara?” her friend asked, glancing between her and the colts flying around the tree. “Are you okay?”
Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to get her countenance back. But it was not as effective as it had to be. There was still this knot tying her guts together, no matter how much she tried to erase it. It was messing up her perfect appearance. And anything that messed with Diamond Tiara, the richest filly in town, deserved to be smacked down.
Just then, from the corner of her eyes, she caught sight of three rather familiar fillies, making plans as always to find their calling in life. Oh, if only they listened to her, they’d have already known they were simply a hopeless exception to the rule. They had no talents.
The thought was so perfect, she could not bear to let it go. Well, there would be no harm in just showing other ponies who was the number one filly in the school. That would silence the stupid voice in her head.
At once, she turned toward Silver Spoon with a sly grin.
“You know what? Let’s pay the Cutie Mark Crusaders a visit,” she whispered.
“Huh, a-are you sure?” Silver Spoon strangely looked hesitant, biting her lips and turning around to face the schoolhouse. “I mean, Miss Cheerilee was really mad for what you told Scootaloo the last time…”
“Oh, don’t be like that, Silver Spoon.” She rolled her eyes, placing her hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s going to be fine. You know Miss Cheerilee always eats her lunch, like, around now. She won’t see us.”
For just a moment, her friend’s mouth opened and closed, like she wanted to say something, but since she didn’t, there obviously wasn’t any objection.
Satisfied, Diamond Tiara took the lead, her eyes firmly locked onto the three unsuspecting idiots that were going to help calm her nerves. Already, she was walking up to them, passing by the tree and heading straight for the other end of the playground.
A predatory smile appeared on her face, she would delight in having those three annoyances put in their place.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” said a coltish voice that made her jump.
She had actually forgotten about Feather Dust right until the moment he decided that he could land right in front of them. Her ear twitched with irritation, but she forced herself to keep smiling sweetly.
“We’re just going to say a word or two to some friends. Why? Is that a problem?” And she voiced her next thought with a hint of hope. “Don’t worry, we’ll come back to be with you right afterward.”
The colt shuddered, doubtless imagining something cooty related, before finding his ground again. Despite his blush, he did not back down, wings flaring in challenge, and his eyes narrowed on them both. “Who?”
“Friends, I told you,” Diamond Tiara repeated, but his expression didn’t change. Or, more accurately, it did not change for the better. The crease of his brows furrowed, the corners of his mouth twitched into the beginning of a scowl.
He knew. She knew. There was little need for pretense when one of them was already posed to fight back.
And seeing him like that, so alike to the disaster night, filled her veins with fiery anger.
“Do you think you’re going to stop me?” she tried to say with cold contempt. The effect was ruined however by the snarl on her face. “Me?!”
“DUH!” He shouted back at her, pointing an accusatory hoof toward her. “You think I’m gonna stay near you if you bully other people in front of me?!”
The implications alone sufficed to make her temper explode. “You’re not my dad! I tell what I want to who I want! That’s none of your business, it’s mine.”
“Like hay it isn’t my business!” He stomped.
Bristling, she dragged her eyes away from the cracks under his hooves. It took all of her training in manners to force back the angry orders she wanted to yell. Instead, eerily calm intent pushed her another step forward.
“Move away, or I tell everypony who you are…” she said quietly, like a confidence between friends. “I bet the princesses wouldn’t be pleased if they knew…”
He stiffened, tensed up at once, as if he hadn’t expected that. That was really naïve of him, she thought. What else was she supposed to do with that sort of information?
She waited, knowing at that moment he would give in, knowing he would do like the others and move out of the way. With a haughty sniff, she moved her hoof forward, confident that he would fold and let her do as she wanted. Everypony did. She could already taste the thrilling sensation of power that washed over her body each time.
But her hoof bumped into very solid flesh.
Feather Dust hadn’t moved.
He hadn’t moved! How could he?! Didn’t he get the memo?! Hot anger burned in her heart at being denied, at being made to look a fool before others. Nopony could do that to her, nopony!
“Move!” she shouted. “Or else…”
The colt snorted, but it was no amused outburst. It was a harsh sound, bitter and angry. Mocking. Mocking her, and himself, with a joyless mirth that reminded her of the restaurant. The perfect night… ruined when words had suddenly humiliated them in front of all those important ponies.
Trembling, she could feel her stomach churn, and she desperately fought with herself to stand her ground.
“Go on. Do it,” he hissed, his gaze turning hard.
“I will!” She stumbled back, trying to keep the fear at bay.
Now, he was the one marching on her, a growl rising out of his throat, his feathers rustling. His glare went through her, touched deeper than that. It made her feel small, tiny, puny! She wasn’t weak! She was Diamond Tiara, she got what she wanted!
But Feather Dust couldn’t have cared less. “Will you?”
The resounding ‘Yes!’ she tried to shout didn’t come. She was gaping like a fish, wishing nothing more than for Miss Cheerilee to come save her!
“Tell everypony, tell them and I’ll tell them you threatened me so I would hang around you. You just proved me right! You can’t make anypony like you, even when they come to you first!”
She reeled from the shock, staring agape in utter disbelief. “T-that’s not going to work!”
Feather Dust smiled, but it was nothing kind. It was the smile she wore around the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Gee, I wonder who they’re going to believe. The new student or the bully that already humiliated ponies with embarrassing pictures?”
Diamond Tiara growled, her face reddening. Thought he was so smart, didn’t he?! He thought he had her cornered, huh?! Well, she could cow those losers with one word, and they’d do as she told, because if they didn’t, they’d face the consequences! They’d be crying and begging to take her side–
And Feather Dust would stand right in front of her, between her and the others, and dare her again, and look down and she’d be alone…
–But even she couldn’t imagine foals like those three saying they believed her instead of him. They – and all of their classmates save Silver Spoon – would happily side with him. Against her!
N-nopony… likes…
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” she shrieked, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. “I don’t want to hear this from you!”
“Not fun being on this side of things, right?”
He… he didn’t even seem to enjoy it! W-why was he doing this then?! Why was he making her feel so small?! It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair!
“Feather Dust!” yelled a mare, and Diamond Tiara never thought she would one day be so happy to see their teacher run toward her.
--
I trotted out of the room with the feeling that my day had gone on for far too long. Parent-teacher conferences really took out the most out of me. Having been on both ends didn’t make it any easier.
The disappointed look of Calx’s teacher and principal followed him out as surely as I did. They trusted me to dish out whatever punishment I would see fit so it didn’t happen again.
Great.
Just what I wanted to do after an exhausting day at work on Blueblood’s airship. Decide on how and why I should punish my little brother for apparently making Diamond Tiara cry. Or not. They had been evasive about that detail. Point was, they had been caught fighting.
So, decision time.
And his stubborn silence did not make it any easier.
He was dragging his hoof on the wooden floor, refusing to meet my eyes. Thrice, his tail flicked with a nervous twitch. Twice, his wings shuddered. But he didn’t feel guilty, it was written all over his face, all over his frown. He just knew he was going to be punished and he thought he didn’t deserve it, so he was both pissed and uncooperative.
Hence, I had to know why he thought that.
“So… squirt, tell me what happened at school. I know you didn’t tell everything to Miss Cheerilee or Sir Career Path.”
He actually froze in place, eyes wide, like he would always when getting caught red-hoofed. Good, this should make it a bit easier.
“Is it because of…?” I gestured to his forehead, brushed the hidden horn with a breeze, and he nodded stiffly.
Okay, I think I get it then, I said to myself as I made my way out of the schoolhouse, him running after me shortly. No more dragging his hooves. He had felt a difference in how he imagined this to go, he was thus all the more eager to find out how, despite his caution.
“Say, Tom…” my voice trailed off while we walked past the fences near the courtyard. “Do you think you could ever act like a bully?”
The reaction was, of course, instantaneous.
“I did not bully her!” he bellowed, wings flared open.
A nudge on his muzzle with my hoof stopped any other incoming shout. Hard to speak with a hoof on your lips. So, he looked at me with a frown, but waited.
“I’m just asking you a question, Tom.” I told him calmly, but not without a certain sternness. “I’m not accusing you, so settle down, alright? Just answer me. Do you ever think you might act like a bully?”
“W-well, I’m never gonna!” he said, but his voice trembled. There was a hint of fear in-between those notes.
Good, I hope you never do, I thought. That would be the day our bond took a dive for the worse… unless it was only him following my bad example…
Please, I begged him, learn from my mistakes, squirt. Don’t repeat them.
There was only one way I would make that lesson stick though.
Gently, I whispered a few words, letting my gaze wonder on the road ahead. “How would you know?”
He blinked, stared and stopped right in his tracks. “Huh?”
For a few more steps, I did not answer. My attention was to the streets around us. There were still a great many ponies walking around, trying to go about their business before dusk settled over the town. Why, they were still one or two latecomers trying to haggle down the prices on the market. And how did they do that?
It was all so simple, but perhaps those were the hardest things to see.
Well, it was my job to provide that help. Looking at Calx straight in the eyes, I asked with utmost serious, “How would you know if what you did was bullying or not?”
At that moment, truly anything could have happened around us that we would not have noticed. The whole world had ceased to be around us. There was only this one question that had him entirely stumped, and me, his foalhood hero, asking it.
The gears were turning behind his falsely brown eyes. They jolted from one scrap of dirt to the next on the path, as if any of them could hold the answer. And I could easily see the relief flood through his veins when he found it. “I… I stopped her from bullying the CMC!”
“You did.” I nodded, feeling just a little bit prouder of him than before. “How?”
By this point, the fear was mostly gone. The more questions I asked, the more I reminded him of a teacher. He frowned, mouthing an indignant ‘seriously’, and stood his ground again.
A small ripple spread from the tip of his hooves, and stopped just short of my own. There, this is it. This was the conviction of an alicorn.
I knew then, that this was the thing I had to listen to.
“When she wanted me to move out of her way, I didn’t. She could do whatever she wanted, but not near the CMC. She doesn’t like them, she had this big nasty grin on her face, it was way too obvious. And when she tried to threaten me, I just told her to do it and be prepared for when it blew up in her face.” Now the doubt was gone, and he stood proudly, wings flared and prepared to fight tooth and nail in defense of his actions. “I didn’t do anything to bully her,” he said as a closing statement.
A few more seconds passed, a few more seconds during which the thoughts set and became unmovable. He had come to the conclusion himself, it would stick. No, standing up for others and himself didn’t make him a bully.
“You’re right, Tom,” I told him, smiling. “If she started to cry because she didn’t get to do what she wanted, that’s her problem, not ours.”
Then, because I could not hold it anymore, I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and made our foreheads touch. It was not very long – I was still afraid I would brush his horn and pierce the illusion –, just long enough for him to feel the warmth beneath my skin, to feel the bursting pride in my veins.
“You did well today…”
And he had. Definitely. He’d done it! He had put enough of his stubbornness and his grudge aside to act the right way. There were so few feelings greater than seeing your little siblings grow up like that.
Looking at him though, being praised by one of your idols had to be high on the list too. Oh Tom…
“Y-you really mean it, right?” he asked, pointing his hoof at my chest. “Even if she said she’d tell others?”
Without hesitation, I nodded.
“Her knowing our identity was my fault, and I never intended it to be used that way. You didn’t let her blackmail you either, and that’s a big thing, little brother. Plenty of ponies would have fallen for that.”
I might have…, I thought while seeing him grin widely at my praise.
“Yeah, well, I’m not like most ponies!” Calx paraded, flexing his muscles in an adorable and arrogant manner that was just so him.
“You sure aren’t, lil’ brother…” I ruffled his mane, coincidentally getting him to stop showing off in public by disruption of cool appearance. “If she ever tries that again, you have my permission to ignore her threats.”
At his smile then, I swallowed back a hint of fear. I could only hope this would not come back to bite me in the rump. But for now, I had managed to get him to figure out what was acceptable when it came to dealing with her. He’d hopefully keep to this: always in defense of somepony. That was a good starting point, at least.
Clearing my throat, I picked up the pace a bit. The houses in this neighborhood were all the same to me, but, well, ours was here too. Yet… a voice in the back of my head whispered not to go further. Something like… anticipation, familiar, like Calx’s presence. The pulse of his essence in the earth under my hooves.
I was just being paranoid. Hopefully. Calx didn’t seem to feel anything like that. He was still high on his success at proving himself a good colt. And honestly, I wanted that to stay a trend.
“If Diamond Tiara does tell somepony… well, I’ll be the one to deal with that hurdle. But hay, you’ll probably just be the super popular colt in your class.” I shrugged, grinning at him. “I’ve heard worse, as far as blackmailing attempts go.”
“You say that like I’m not already the bestest colt in the school. No, like, the greatest ever!”
“Dream on, squirt.” I snorted, sending him a challenging look. “I was a much more awesome colt than you. By the time I was your age, I had already conquered a nation and became its deity figure. Then, I outlawed veggies and may or may not have discovered the secret of good character design. The verdict is still out on that last one.”
“Oh yeah?” Calx took off, floating in front of me with a cocky grin. “Well, I’m gonna show everypony that that was all baby stuff compared to what I can do!”
It was hard to keep the wince on the inside, but that line had just summoned so many bad memories. Forgive me Elders for I have sinned… by tempting my little brother into causing a cataclysm.
“Just don’t go overboard with that, okay?”
“Duh…” He rolled his eyes. “I never go overboard.”
What was it with colts today making me want to scream?
Before I could sternly tell him to never experiment anything in the house, an unexpected sight caught my attention. It was both so ordinary and unusual that it would have sufficed to get me to stare even if it had happened to somepony else.
Sitting awkwardly on our doorstep, there was one stallion of two shades of brown and a dark blue cutie mark on his flanks.
My jaw dropped. It can’t be…
I-it actually couldn’t. This guy was obviously an earth pony. No horn or wings. Just the plain old body of any other equine, with the added benefit of a strong connection to my brother.
And me. I could feel it. Sky magic gathered at his sides, where wings would be if he were... if he actually were…
I felt the need to stop. My head felt like lead, spinning, swimming in a pool of water.
Ironic, thought a sardonic part of my mind.
How could I have ever allowed this to slip past me? W-when? Just when had he managed to come here unnoticed? T-there couldn’t have been…
Fires and flames.
Followed by torrents of waters, falling through the cracks in the sky, and tears that were not while I lied down in a pool of my own blood...
I hadn’t noticed because I hadn’t examined what I had seen before.
He hadn’t noticed us yet either, but I was staring so hard I was surprised he didn’t explode. So many conflicting emotions were rising to the surface to pull me apart. Joy, to see him again, for certain, but fear as well, worry, that his presence was proof of a much direr situation than I had dared think so far. But, beyond all that, there was disbelief. He couldn’t be here. That was as much against the rules as we had done, doubly so now that the threat had already passed!
Yet… this stallion looked exactly like my friend. The only difference was the one that could be explained by the magic that was veiling mine and my brother’s looks. But him?
He was exactly as I’d known him for four centuries…
So naturally came the question that couldn’t be ignored. “Thadal?”
That hadn’t been me.
“T-Tom? You…” I turned to him, a horrible realization suddenly dawning on me. “Did you… did you get a headache today?”
“…Yeah?” He grimaced, not happy at admitting even a little bit of weakness. “Like, maybe? Didn’t last long…”
“S’okay… Don’t worry about it…” I placed a hoof on his shoulder, and stroke the back of his wings.
I’ve gotten a new onslaught of memories today, haven’t I?
“Not bothered,” Calx mumbled, his voice low despite his actual leaning into my touch.
“I know you aren’t,” I replied, keeping some bitterness to myself.
Wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t do at all. It wasn’t his job. It wasn’t the time and place. There was a stranger – friend – on our doorstep.
Looking at us.
Thadal had heard us, and shifted on his hooves with surprising agility for a first-timer. He shouldn’t have been that quick to adjust to moving around the mortal planes, but, apparently, he had. He didn’t seem overly bothered, just a little anxious. His eyes actually stopped over my sides and on Calx’s forehead. For a split moment, he seemed to just examine us, as if to decide if we were the right ponies.
And in that moment, I could have told him. It would have been the actual thing to do, just tell my friend that yeah, he had gotten the right alicorns. Some part of me screamed to just do it, get it over with and possibly give him a hug in passing. However, the vast majority of my being remained still under his scrutinizing gaze.
I… I could not simply be so open, right? It was never that simple…
It was Thadal that came forward, with two steps and a hopeful inquiry, “Sa- Cloud?”
Cringing at the slip, I nodded.
Unreal, this was absolutely unreal. Why had the Elders ever authorized that? If anything, the orderly thing to do would be to quietly take back the extra alicorns trotting around this world. So why now?
Thadal’s mouth opened, taking shape without letting out air at first. One of his hind legs was shaking; his gaze darted from us to our surroundings, and a little beyond that. He tried once more to speak, with greater success. “Can we talk? ...It’s about… it’s about your parents. And kinda… that place? You know, back…”
Home. Back home.
I was tempted, sorely tempted, to ask which one. Instead, I forced the door to our home open with a twist of magic, allowing everypony inside. Calx needed no prompting. His face all but screamed about how he would not lose a shot at hearing about Mother and Father. As for Thadal, well, that was his goal in the first place.
My eyes stayed focused on him. I could not look away. I stared as he walked slowly in our hallway, taking in the sights as would one politely visiting. It would seem just a friendly get-together to somepony else, perhaps, but his breathing was short and almost controlled, his heartbeat pulsed just beneath his skin in a rhythm not unlike my own.
“Right…” I whispered when he arrived on level with the kitchen and the living room.
He jolted in surprise at hearing my voice so close to his ear while I was still at the doorstep.
Briefly, he looked at me with something akin to shock, yet his left eye twitched and suddenly that sentiment was gone. The light dawned on him.
It shouldn’t have scared me. It shouldn’t have made me feel as if a cold hand had caressed the back of my neck. It did.
There was no doubting it. Thadal’s situation… it was the same as us… the same… He couldn’t have gotten permission, he had come and it had distracted something much bigger. Thadal… had he also used the spell?
“Why, Thadal?!” I shouted, half-rearing in anger and in fear. “Why did you come?!”
His smile then was a small and sorry one, bashful, nervous and saddened all at once. Though… in the end, it was still a smile.
“…Because I’m your friend,” he said as he entered our living room.
--
As the light around her horn dimmed, the ruling alicorn turned on her hooves and left behind the simmering image of the sunset growing red. Her task was accomplished, her true purpose was completed the same way it had been every day since the moment of her birth. Thus, all that remained was but the trivialities of mortal lives.
Why did it have such weight on her mind then? In the clatter of golden horseshoes and sweeping tail, in the few instants it took her to enter her richly decorated bedchambers, there had been nothing more than buzzing words of worry about the state of her kingdoms.
Predictions for the next winter’s need, reports from the weather institutions, surveys about the crops and the migration of pests, trade agreements with the griffons, placating words for the Minoan ambassador, disputes between three merchants and a contract with a loophole that could set a precedent without her interventions... and, of course, that incident. One day, in a distant future maybe, there would be no more rude letters and call for her complete transparency regarding her knowledge of such a great disturbance throughout all the realms.
One marvelous day, she would step down from her throne and move into a small cottage in the countryside. Then, she would finally rest.
One day… when the mountains walk, when the storm is silent, when Love is Hate and the Elders bow. One day that is night under the sun, and Disharmony is lesser than a thought.
On that one day that would never come, she would have a cake she had baked herself and a nice picnic near a river. It would be peaceful, that was all she could hope now.
But that day had yet to come, and no immediate solution appeared in a blissful stroke of genius. So, each problem required careful considerations…
During this time of doubts and silent questions that went unanswered, the door to her chambers opened on a much smaller mare in uniform. The maid only glanced in direction of her princess, waiting for any sign of acknowledgement or rebuke before going on with her own tasks.
The white alicorn nodded and authorized the presence of the maid. She was one of the most skilled and discreet. Her thoughts would not be interrupted by the work.
But no interruption could stop her from worrying about the future. Her dices had been thrown, only time would reveal how wise had it been to even risk it.
The image of her mother floated in her memories. “What is the difference between a good and a great ruler, Celestia?” she repeated.
The answer was well-known, but once more, she felt the need to evaluate her decisions.
“Silent Praise, may I ask you a question?”
Of course I can, Celestia thought with the closest thing to amusement she could feel at the moment. The way her little ponies carried themselves around her, she could rightly wonder if they worshipped her despite her insistence not to. Her words were akin to law in the minds of so many, and it was such a dangerous thing.
Most would do their best to act in accordance to her desires, no matter how ridiculous the request. The year she had tested this had been one for the ages. If only the historians would acknowledge it had ever happened…
Regardless, one of her most dutiful hoofmaiden was currently kneeling before her. “Of course, Princess. I will help in whatever ways I might.”
“You have my thanks, my little pony,” she said warmly. “I am facing a dilemma and wish for your opinion on this matter. Worry not about your knowledge of the situation, it is not needed to understand more. It is a question that most ponies would face in their days. Do you sometimes ponder if the best of sentiments are our worse enemies?”
“I would say it depends on the pony, Your Highness,” Silent Praise answered simply, after a moment of deliberation. “They can push us to extremes we would have never thought possible, for the best or the worst.”
Briefly, the alicorn’s expression showed more regret than she wanted to. “Perhaps that is the closest to the truth one like me can grasp.”
“…One like you, Princess?”
For a long time, Silent Praise’s question went unanswered. Doubtlessly, the maid thought it had been spoken out of turn, outside of what was permitted. So she quickly returned to the dusting she had been doing before. It should be the end of that hopefully, unless the offence had angered her enough to bring down punishment.
It had not. But the princess’ heart had ached with such powerful longing the words had refused to be spoken, to be acknowledged. She remembered, of course, of the time she had the young stallion in her office, asking her something like it was the most self-evident truth. It had revealed so much of him in that moment…
And so much of herself.
The silence broke with a simple, bitter and tired statement, spoken wistfully with full knowledge it was all too true.
“One that puts duty before family,” Princess Celestia said with each word weighing her down.