It's not breaking and entering if you're friends

by writer283


Remember that one Hearths Warming


Hearth Warming Eve; one part holiday reminder of the love and friendship that brings us all together regardless of differences; second part holiday meant to suck as many pennies out of ponies who enjoy purchasing gifts for family and friends... or in other words, almost everypony. Thus the sub-holiday of Saint Hooves Day was created, giving life to a character that was said to give presents to good colts and fillies, and tasteless gum to those who were naughty. The many years that followed from the initial masqueraded marketing gimmick showed the character to be cemented into the minds of many ponies. Many young ones came to believe in the figure as a true flesh and blood being, many were allowed to believe this until they either grew out of it, or simply had it spoiled for them. The parents of the children hardly gave a care, seeing it as a good example of sharing... plus the promise of presents for good behavior was too sweet a prize for any filly or colt to pass up. Thus the marketing ploy of Saint Hooves had somehow been ingrained into much of Equestria's population, which was for the large part due to a particular gimmick of children actually meeting Saint Hooves in the flesh. The effort could have been a flop if the actors hired to play the character had not made the figure seem so warm and full of cheer. From those first few years on, Saint Hooves became a household name, and the marketing ploy was forgotten, replaced by a character that filled ponies hearts with joy, even without ever actually existing.


But of course, there are downsides to such belief...


The air in ponyville was dry and cold as it usually was around the holiday season. However the cold did not deter anypony from heading to whatever store necessary to acquire last minute gifts to lay under the tree for somepony.


Bon Bon ate a green cupcake as she sat alone on a bench outside Sugarcube corner. Beside her rested a bag containing a red cupcake. She had intended on sharing the treats with her long time (insert interpretation of relationship here), Lyra, but a misguided sharing of information had caused the quirky unicorn to run off in a fit of hysteria.


In her mind, she replayed the scene that had taken place just a few minutes prior.


The two had overheard a group of foals talking about what they wanted from Saint Hooves as they were walking toward the exit the bakery. This had brought up the topic of the character into the pairs conversation.

Lyra tapped her chin before saying “Ya know, I wonder what I'll get from Saint Hooves this year? I can't believe I never got around to sending him a letter”

Bon Bon chuckled at the comment, assuming it to have been sarcasm “I wonder what actually happens to those letters that foals send to the, eh-hem, 'North Pole'”

“What do you mean, they go to Saint Hooves workshop” Lyra replied.

“It's funny how he can even be allowed to make all those gifts, even though they just happen to be identical to what the stores make, especially with all the copyright laws nowadays”

“He's magic, he doesn't need to worry about stuff like that”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes at the comment, Lyra noticed the gesture.

“What's with the eyes?” asked Lyra.

“Nothing” Bon Bon then hushed her voice as to not ruin the fantasy for any possible youngsters who might overhear “It's just that you talk about the character like he's real”

“What do you mean?” asked Lyra, her expression had began to slunk into a slight frown

Bon Bon held the door open for her friend and replied as they exited “Your so funny when you pretend... except for that one time you told me my house was on fire, that was not funny”

“Well I admit the joke had holes. But what do you mean about Saint Hooves?”

“Wait, you... you actually think he's real, nopony ever told you he was...” Bon Bon hushed her voice again as she finished “...fake”

“What! Saint Hooves isn't real! I just thought I had been naughty since I moved out of my parents house. Oh dear Celestia! So all those Saint Hooves at the stores are just weirdos in costumes”

Bon bon raised an eye brow “You're kidding, right?”

Lyra flopped onto the ground and held her hooves over her eyes as she cried “All the letters I've sent, all the times I was nice to jerks so I could get on the nice list, all those Saint Hooves landing pads have all been for nothing!”

“Uh...” Was the only thing Bon Bon had been able to utter out before Lyra ran off.


This wasn't anywhere near the first time Bon Bon had been left behind, after Lyra had overreacted. It was however one of the first times she felt more than little upset about it, especially since the two had planned to spend the eve together. It was nothing out of the ordinary for Lyra to show some of her childlike tendencies; like how she always had to have sprinkles on ice cream, or quietly pouting if she was forced to sit like everypony else. Bon Bon had always given consideration to the... quirks... of her friend. But still believing in something like Saint Hooves, their was no way she could have anticipated that.

And so, she sat alone, stretched out on the bench, with a slightly disgruntled look on her face. She opened the bag and looked at the cupcake inside. She picked the trwar up out of the bag and began to eat it, knowing that Lyra would most likely not be back anytime soon. She considered her options as she chewed. She could either try to apologize to Lyra, which would probably work, except for the fact that Lyra would most likely hang the instance over Bon Bon's head for weeks. Or, she could do nothing and wait for Lyra to calm down.

“Ughhh...” Bon Bon groaned. “Why should I need to do anything at all, Lyra is a grown mare, she should have already known their was no such thing as a Saint Hooves”

“Hey frowny mc frownerson, why ya frowning?” The energetic Pinkie Pie asked.

Bon Bon looked around, but couldn't see where the pink mare had spoken from.

“Psst... down here” whispered Pinkie.

Bon Bon looked under the bench and to her surprise, she saw Pinkie Pie laying comfortably on her back, in the snow, with her forelegs behind her head.

“Hello, Pinkie” Bon bon greeted the mare, her mood made her words sound a bit rude.

“Whatcha doing?” the Pink Pony asked.

Bon Bon let out a small groan; needless to say, she was not enthusiastic about telling somepony that her friend still believed in Saint Hooves.

“You know Lyra, right?” Bon Bon asked.

“Aquamarine unicorn with an apparent fascination for another species that will go un-mentioned from this point on”

“Yes, I accidentally told her that there's no Saint Hooves, it really seemed to have messed her up”

“What!!!” Pinkies legs shot out in alarm “You can't just tell somepony that. You need to ease them into it so their are no negative repercussions”

“Repercussions, like what?” Bon bon asked.

“Like...um” Pinkie tapped her chin with her hoof, then rolled out from under the bench. She jumped up onto her hooves and cheerily began to rant “A super deep depression that she may never recover from and lead her down a rode of poverty, disease, frowning and finally ending in her untimely death, all because her innocence was abruptly and brutally crushed by a close friend!”

Bon bon raised and eye brow in response to Pinkie's obvious overreaction “You're mind goes to some dark places”

“Never you mind where my mind goes. It's obvious what you need to do. You need to sneak into Lyra's house and give her a present from Saint Hooves. I have red suit and a fake beard you can borrow”

“Even if I did do that, and just for the record, I'm not, I don't think I'd need to dress up”

“Oh, I think you'll end up needing it” Pinkie said before she looked off into the distance and winked at something.

Bon bon then stepped off the bench “I'm going to do something, but definitely not that. I just need to calmly talk with her until she's gone out of her overreaction mode”

“You sure you don't want to break and enter in a Saint hooves suit?” Pinkie asked as if the question was not bizarre at all.

“No, but thanks for offering the suit” Bon bon said as she began to walk in the direction of Lyra's home.

“Okay, but remember, depression, frowny faces and death!” Pinkie screamed as Bon bon quickly trotted away from her.


One walk to Lyra's home later...


Bon bon approached the design eye sore that was Lyra's house. Lyra had never been one for general up keep, and it showed. Along with the snow, Lyra's lawn was littered with ornaments and trinkets from her failed attempt at making a mini golf course out of her front yard. However that was nothing compared to the houses paint scheme. The outside of the house was a harshly bright yellow and the roof had a variety of different colored shingles, and to top it all off, the door was bright pink.

Bon bon couldn't help but notice the lack of holiday decorations on Lyra's home. As she pondered this, a little voice in her head said to her “Look, she's obviously lost the spirit of the holiday and taken down her decorations” Bon bon shook her head slightly as if to shake the thought loose from her brain.

She stopped in front of the door and held up a hoof to knock, but then hesitated just before doing so “What if she actually is really depressed and she doesn't want to talk to me?” she thought to herself. Bon bon sighed “Obsessing over nothing is Lyra's thing” she said aloud to herself.

She then knocked on the door and waited for a response. Nearly a minute passed by and their was no reply. Bon bon knocked again, a little harder this time. Their was still no reply.

Bon bon groaned “She must not be here” she said to herself.

Bon bon then took a few steps back from the house. The building looked oddly bare, with not a single light to amongst the small mounds of snow on Lyra's roof.

Bon bon furrowed her brow as she thought about the situation. Could she have actually ruined the holiday for Lyra just by telling her something so seemingly insignificant... then again, this was Lyra she was thinking about.

Bon bon groaned, then turned to walk back to sugarcube corner. “The things I do for that unicorn” she said to herself. Bon bon's ears perked up as she heard the sound of snow crunching under somepony's hooves. She looked up just in time see an aquamarine blur running away from her. Bon bon sighed, she recognized that blur.

“Great, this is just great” Bon bon said to herself sarcastically “Now she's avoiding me all together...” Bon bon paused and finally let the thought slip into her mind that she may be dealing with something a bit more serious than one of Lyra's fits.


One back track later...


Bon bon hung her head low as she approached Sugarcube corner. She looked up and saw Pinkie Pie standing outside the bakery with a red and white costume draped over her outstretched foreleg. The Pink pony gleefully grinned, she was obviously enjoying the situation.

“Well...?” Pinkie asked.

Bon bon sighed “May I please borrow your Saint Hooves suit?”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes and she hesitated as though she was considering to refuse. Her expression quickly brightened as Pinkie happily stated “Sure, anything to save a friendship”

“No! No friendship has been ruined. I'm just doing this to avoid hearing about it from her for the next month” Bon bon retorted.

“Suuuuure you are” said Pinkie with a smug grin on her face.

Bon bon snatched the costume from Pinkie Pie. She stomped a few feet away before stopping “Thank you, Pinkie” she said in a somber tone, without turning to face the pink mare.

Pinkie smiled “Ti's the season” she said cheerily, before happily bouncing back inside the bakery.


Several hours later...


Bon bon stepped out of her home. Her borrowed suit was safely and discretely hid in her right saddle bag.

The plan she had in mind was a bit cliche, but it would do the trick. Sneak into Lyra's house and leave a present with a tag that said “From: Saint Hooves”. After that, she'd simply need to wait until the next morning, when Lyra would undoubtedly be eager to tell about her gift. All that would be required from Bon bon was a little sneakiness and a tight lip about the topic of Saint Hooves from then on out. Right now the her main worry was if somepony thought she was trying to rob Lyra. She walked through the now almost completely quiet town. The street was lit by the moon light, and the occasional lantern from the odd night owl who had not yet retired to their beds.

Bon bon approached Lyra's home. The windows were dark, it seemed Lyra had already slipped off into sleep.

In her left saddle bag was Lyra's present. The gift was already meant for Lyra, and she would receive it as planned, albeit through a considerably different method.

Bon bon looked up at the house's roof “I suppose I should go down the chimney... pfft Ha...” Bon bon stifled a laugh, such an action would be a bit more in character than she would prefer.

Bon bon then reached a hoof into into her right saddle bag and felt around inside. The costume filled saddle bag felt like reaching into a bag of furs, everything felt the same. She grabbed one of the suits pieces and pulled it out. The hat was the first thing out of the bag, it resembled a night cap with white fut along the edges, with a ball of white fluff at the tip. She popped the hat onto her head, the fur made her forehead itch a bit, and the ball of fluff moved around her head as though it had a mind of it's own, even occasionally bopping her on the eye as Bon bon moved her head about to make sure it wouldn't fall off easily. It was obviously a little too loose, and it hung down over her eyes a bit. She quickly corrected this by stuffing her mane up into the cap, effectively getting her conspicuous hair out of the way and keeping the cap firmly on her head.

She had meant to try the suit on earlier, but at that point she still had the delusion that Lyra may still come to see her, allowing herself to make amends for what she had said.

She reached into her bag again and pulled out the suits pants. With more than a little bit of resistance, Bon bon pulled the pants onto her legs. They were quite tight, it was a miracle they didn't rip as she moved around. There was only a slight amount of irritation on her flanks, caused by embroidered pictures of presents that served as Saint Hooves cutie mark. The truly tricky part was getting her tail through the small tail hole at the back. She eventually succeeded, but her reward was her tail becoming a frazzled mess.

Bon bon looked down at her hooves “Isn't he supposed to where boots too?” Bon bon then shook her head a bit in response to her own thought. Her mind was slowly attempting to over think the situation, and if there was one thing Bon bon didn't want to to, it was think about the situation too much, lest she lose whatever made her think this was a good idea.

She reached into her bag once again, this time pulling out the characters iconic red coat. She pulled the coat over hear head, it slipped on much easier than the pants had, and unlike the hat, it actually seemed to fit her.

Bon bon moved around a bit to test her costume. The suit held together well, even though the three pieces seemed to all be from different Saint Hooves suits.

“Well this isn't so bad, and the pants... the pants are honestly a bit much, but I certainly do seem to look the part” Bon bon thought to herself.

She walked closer to Lyra's house, but stopped as she saw her reflection in one of the windows. Bon bon walked closer to the window and looked at her reflection. She spun around a bit to make sure she had disguised herself as best she could... but there was something missing. A thought suddenly clicked into her mind “The beard!”

She quickly reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a scraggly looking white beard that could have easily been mistaken for a large, ungroomed cat if somepony was far enough away. The only thing given to keep the fuzzy thing on was a single elastic band. Bon bon stretched the band over her head and she unintentionally let go of it, causing the band to snap her in the back of the head. She adjusted the beard to cover her muzzle, an easy task given the sheer size of the faux beard.

She looked at her reflection again. If Bon bon didn't know better, she'd swear that she was the very character she was impersonating. If Lyra did happen to catch a quick glimpse of her, the unicorn would never be able to tell who it actually was.

With her costume prepared, Bon bon quietly stepped toward the door. She grabbed the knob and gently began to turn it.

For the conspiracy theorist, alternate dimension believing, slightly paranoid pony that Lyra was, she still never locked her door.

Bon bon softly pushed on the door, only opening it just enough to slip inside. She shut the door behind her, leaving her in the darkness of Lyra's home. Thehe dark was not a particularly big obstacle to Bon Bon, she had been in Lyra's house more than a hundred times and knew the layout by heart. To the left was the kitchen, to the right was the living room, the two areas somewhat overflowed onto each other. Further into the building a hallway separated two rooms, the left door being to Lyra's bed room and the right door being an entrance to the bathroom.

Bon bon kept an eye on the bedroom door as she stepped into Lyra's living room. A small mess of magazines, wrappers and misplaced kitchen utensils rested on Lyra's long, light blue couch. In front of the couch, embedded in the wall was an inactive fireplace with nothing but ash left inside it. Sitting in the corner of the room, next to a window, Lyra's Hearths Warming tree stood, and just like every tree Lyra ever got, it was a bit too tall and the top few branches needed to be bent down as much as they could in order to fit, which obviously resulted in a very odd sight. It was a marvel that the Hearths Warming heart even stayed on the tip of the tree.

Bon bon reached underneath her coat for the present in her saddlebag. The box was green and it was wrapped in a white ribbon, matching Lyra's coat and mane colors as closely as possible. She stepped toward the tree, unfortunately breaking her line of sight with Lyra's bedroom door in the process. She gently placed the gift underneath the tree, then immediately afterwards, she began a fast walk back to the front door.

“Well that was easy” she thought to herself. She then began to question why she thought the suit was necessary at all.

Bon bon froze as she heard a loud, muffled yawn come from Lyra's room, almost immediately followed by the turning of the bedroom door knob.

Bon bon's pulse quickened, she was too far away from the door to get out without making enough noise to warrant a search from Lyra. She had no choice but to quickly dive behind the couch in the hope she would not be seen.

The door to Lyra's room opened with a quiet squeaking sound. Bon bon listened as the sound of Lyra's hooves came closer.

A drowsy, half asleep Lyra then walked out from the hallway and turned toward the kicthen. Bon bon peaked over the couch and saw Lyra beginning to prepare a late night snack. Lyra opened a drawer with her magic and levitated out a butter knife. A cupboard then became engulfed in the unicorns aura and a loaf of bread wrapped in plastic as well as a jar of peanut butter floated out onto the counter top. Lyra licked her lips as she smeared peanut butter onto the slices of bread in front of her, she then levitated the two slices of bread and pressed them together.

Bon bon ducked down behind the arm of the couch as Lyra walked toward the it, levitating her sandwich along with her. She then flopped onto the couch and sat in the odd way she always did.

Bon bon attempted to keep her breaths as quiet as possible. Being so close to Lyra meant even the smallest noise could alert her friend to her presence.

Lyra took a bite of her sandwich, causing her drowsy eyes to perk up a bit from the taste, prompting her to immediately take another bite.

The distraction the sandwich provided was quickly dwindling, bite by bite.

Bon bon could no longer stay in her current hiding spot. But the kitchen held no hiding spots and she obviously couldn't hide in Lyra's bed room. It seemed the only option was to try and sneak into the bathroom. Bon bon then began to move toward the hallway quietly enough to make a ninja jealous. She slowly opened the door to Lyra's bathroom and swiftly entered it, closing the door behind her as she did. Bon bon cautiously walked forward and felt around for Lyra's tub. The first thing she felt was a mat on the floor, meaning she was just to the left of the sink and only a couple more steps from the tub. Her hooves clunked against the porcelain tub. She then climbed into the tub and pulled the shower curtain, just in case.

She waited and listened for Lyra to walk back to her room and drift back off to sleep. Minutes went by, but she heard no movement. She poked her head out from behind the shower curtain and peered into the darkness.

“Maybe she already went to bed?” Bon bon thought to herself. Bon bon cautiously reached one of her legs out of the tub.

Almost immediately after stepping on the floor, the door opened and a foreleg reached in to flip on a light switch. Bon bon panicked, she immediately tried to pull her hooves back into the tub but lost her balance, she then fell onto the rim of the tub her with her stomach.

Bon bon let out a small “Oof” before pushing herself back up with her front legs. She looked toward the door and saw Lyra staring at her. Lyra's eyes were as wide as an owl on a caffeine high as she stared at the pony in her tub.

“S-s-Saint Hooves?” Lyra asked nervously.

Bon bon couldn't believe what she had just heard. It seemed the costume had fooled Lyra... and so the charade continued.

Bon bon's eyes darted around as she considered her next move. Almost without thinking, Bon bon bellowed out a deep voiced “Ho ho ho!”

Lyra continued to stare at the Saint Hooves imposter.

Bon bon began to break into a panicked sweat as she spoke “Well, I better be off now, lots of children to deliver presents and gum to”

Lyra continued to stare for a few moments before shuffling out of the way.

Bon bon quickly exited the bathroom in a somewhat awkward fashion as she attempted to keep her tail out of Lyra's field of vision. She backed down the hallway, toward the front door. Lyra followed the disguised Bon bon and continued to stare at her oddly. Bon bon continued until she eventually felt herself bump into the front door.

“Wait Saint Hooves, did you bring me a present?” asked Lyra, her eyes had lost the shock they had had and was replaced with a bright smile.

“Pre... Oh yes!” Bon bon said as she pointed her hoof toward the tree “It's right over there”

Lyra looked toward the tree and happily clapped her front hooves together when she saw the present. Like a filly on Hearths Warming morning, Lyra giddily charged toward the present and looked ready to obliterate the wrapping paper... but instead, she paused, as a sad look came to her face.

“It's probably tasteless gum, right?” Lyra asked.

A sympathetic look came to Bon bon's face “Why do you think that?”

Lyra sat down and held her present in her lap “Well... Today I let a friend believe something that wasn't true... and I think it may have messed with her head”

“Well... the important thing is that you feel bad about it”

“I don't feel good about it, that's for sure. But... promise you won't get mad at me if I tell you”

Bon bon raised an eye brow in curiosity “I promise”

Lyra sat her present back onto the floor, then walked toward the Saint Hooves imposter.

“Well, I used you as a way of buying me some time to get my best friend a Hearths Warming gift”

Bon bon caught herself before she could let out a scream of frustration. The beard covered her face, but her expression communicated her aggravation perfectly.

“You're kidding me?” Bon bon thought to herself “This whole thing was just a product of Lyra's laziness, that's just great! That's just so... Lyra”

“But... I think I know how to make it up to her. Could you just wait here for one second?”

Lyra turned and calmly trotted to her bedroom.

Bon bon was about to run outside and rip the ridiculous costume off, but it only took a moment for Lyra to return.

Lyra levitated a small, light yellow box along with her as she walked back toward her unusual guest. Lyra moved the box toward the disguised mare “Take a look” Lyra insisted.

Bon bon grabbed the box harshly and opened it without a thought. She glanced down at the boxes content, then looked back up at Lyra “It's o...” Bon bon paused. She looked back down at the gift. The inside of the box contained a candy necklace. It seemed like nothing at first, but upon closer inspection the string that held the candy was actually a thing gold chain. At the bottom of the chain laid a gold pendant with Bon Bon's cutie mark ingrained into it.

“Do you like it?” Lyra asked.

Bon bon was awestruck, it was an incredibly beautiful gift, the kind of thing you treasure. Bon bon shook her head to rattle herself out of her state of shock “I think this may make things a little easier” she said... without disguising her voice. Bon bon quickly put her hooves up to her mouth, dropping the necklace in the process. Lyra caught the gift before it hit the ground and quickly placed it back in it's box.

“Ah... I was hoping I could make you squirm for a little while longer” Lyra said with a chuckle.

Bon bon sighed, she took the hat and beard off and dropped them onto the floor.

Lyra stifled a laugh as she said “Pfft... Uh, Bon bon, you're manes sort of...”

Bon bon looked up to see that her mane was extremely frizzy, several strands were stuck straight up due to the static from the furry cap. She attempted brush it down but it made very little difference.

“When did you figure out it was me?” asked Bon bon.

“In about the first three seconds... but their was a moment when I thought my Hearths Warming Eve fantasy had finally came true”

Bon bon smirked “I hope you realize that I'm upset with you”

“Yeah... but come on” Lyra lifted the necklace in front of Bon bon's face “You've gotta admit it was time well spent... and many bits well spent”

Bon bon closed her eyes and let out a calm sigh. She could never stay mad at Lyra, so their was so point in starting to. “I suppose this has all made for a good surprise”

“Exactly... and speaking of surprises” Lyra once again leaped toward her present. The wrapping paper didn't stand a chance as Lyra excitedly tore the package open. Lyra suddenly stopped and became silent as she looked at her gift.

“A... picture frame?” Lyra asked her friend.

Bon bon nodded as a smile crossed her lips.

Lyra turned her head away from Bon bon and rolled her eyes. She then turned back to her friend and excitedly said “It's perfect! As a matter of fact...” Lyra darted off to her room before finishing her sentence. She quickly returned, now levitating a small instant photo camera.

Bon bon's cheeks turned as red as her suit as Lyra pointed the camera at her.

“Smile!” Lyra cheered.

Bon bon was only able to manage an embarrassed grin before Lyra snapped the picture. A photo quickly popped out of the top of the camera.

Lyra held the picture so Bon bon could see it “This outta make for a good conversation starter”

Bon bon let out a nervous chuckle. Her nervous expression then turned to a confused look.

“Wait a second, why did you run away from me when I saw you earlier?”

“I had your present with me” Lyra replied.

“Okay... but why did you take all your lights down?”

“What do you mean?” Lyra asked, seemingly just as confused as Bon bon.

“There's no light son your house”

“Pfft, that's ridiculous” said Lyra as she stepped toward the front door. She opened it and peaked outside. Lyra's body shuddered before she came back inside, closing the door behind her. Surprisingly, Lyra came inside with an irritated look on her face “I didn't take my lights down... somepony must have stole them while I was getting you gift!” Lyra looked toward Bon bon, who was currently attempting to hold back a fit of laughter. “What's so funny?” asked Lyra.

“Give me the camera for a second” Bon bon requested.

Lyra levitated the camera into Bon bon awaiting hooves. Bon bon then placed her hat back onto her head, this time not bothering to stuff her mane into it. She wrapped a foreleg around Lyra and pointed the camera at themselves. Bon bon snapped a picture and a photo popped out of the camera. Bon bon then held the picture so Lyra could see.

Lyra couldn't help but snicker at the photo of Bon bon in her Saint Hooves outfit, and herself wearing a pouting expression on her face.

The two quickly broke out into self mocking laughter. They were truly quite the pair.

“Ha ha, how about next year, I dress up as Saint Hooves and break into your house” Lyra said jokingly.

Bon bon's laughter quickly dissipated and she flatly replied “No”