//------------------------------// // Prologue // Story: X-Ray Vision // by ap0nym //------------------------------// Prologue. Ponrad Roentgen. Diary: "...We all use the same words, but everyone understands in his own way. Today my intake was typical of rural residents - representatives of all the famous probably in the whole of Equestria (Thanks to Celestial!) clan of farmers Apples: Applebloom - red main the little skeleton with a huge pink bow on top and her totally grey-haired Granny Smith ("But she really needs to replace her hip," I made myself a note, to look at her seedy life picture), which led to a snapshot of your home pet-dog Winona. Taking their direction, as usual purely for the Pro forma question about what and how (I've already had an obvious result, and had one look at the animal, whose skeleton is in life-affirming chalk and without crystal clears the floor with her tail). Pronounce normal patter: "The Animal on the table, clothes on a chair, aprons themselves in front, now can afford the film and will do it". "How to wear aprons?" "Legs in the armhole, apron covers the front, back, fastens with a button." Went to charge the cartridge. Returned. Owners without aprons. On the table with the apparatus stands on four legs, feeling satisfied Winona. A dog wearing an apron. With both of its front paws trying to push in the armhole of the apron, The owners aggressively trying to fasten hooves button on the apron... Well what would you do with them?.." Equestria. Poniville. For those visitors who periodically went to the bar for a fresh drink, it was a relatively young unicorn with a long slicked back black mane and no less a long beard, yellowish fur and mark on the back of the letter X representing the eye. He was sitting at this counter, with his legs under him and his tail the colour of coal. And drank. No, well as drank? Not too much. Someone's hoof came up suddenly to his shoulder (and came strongly up): "Hello, Starswirl!"- this obscenely cheerful voice could only belong to one pony... "And do not get ill, Dr. Goodall",- in a moment beside him at the counter there was already sitting a skeleton mare earth pony with a blue mane, which connected with the horse's tail with flirty drop-down on the forehead of the strand, and, apparently satisfied, she looked at him from the darkness of her eye hollows. "How much can we do to make you call me just Mane?" "Well, Justmane, here is a question for you ,how long are you going to call me Starswirl?" "Right up to the moment when you will finally shave your broom!" The unicorn made no answer, and only once venerated the mug, then silently gave to barcolt few coins. Immediately around the mare turned out to be a portion of the wonderful foaming drink. Apparently sensing his mood, she carefully asked: "Something happened, Ponrad?" "Well, you could say: I had Redheart." Maine chuckled knowingly: about the severity nurse Redheart from hospital in the Ponyville legends. "What is it this time?" "Menstruation." Filly, took a breath, choked and immediately coughed. Having no desire to become famous as the "Filly cider killer", the unicorn reached out with her hoof carefully, thereby returning the favor for his shoulder and making sure she was all right and then continued his story: "Now pray tell, Mane, someone to look after the responsible radiation safety x-ray cabinet? Who, in his holydays is going to change the dosimeters and to resolve inconsistencies in the instructions? Which doctor to communicate with in the sanitary Department of radiation safety? Of course, the youngest doctor!" "To be honest, I have nothing to understand," said Dr Goodall, a little hoarsely. "Well, what is there to understand? Today Redheart comes to me and goes to the attack: "You're doing x-ray studies?" "Yes, we do x-rays of animals." "And the owners are involved in the commitment?" "Yes, they fix the animals in the picture." "It means they are exposed to radiation?" "Yes, they fall under diffuse radiation, we protect the owners aprons." "And if this is the hostess and she's pregnant?" "We ask fillies whether they are pregnant. Pregnant fillies are not permitted." "And if they are pregnant and do not know it?" "Uh-uh... how do you know? You propose to ask a gynecologist for help, but pregnancy is not immediately obvious." "Here! To eliminate any possibility that they are pregnant, you should not allow fillies to commit animals, if it has been more than nine days since they have had a menstrual period after sex." "So, stop! Excuse me, I need to ask fillies about whether they had sex, and what happened last month? And if she came with her husband or someone else, or she came with a foal-a-teenager?" "Not only should, but must! All fillies of childbearing age! And not only ask, but also to note it in the outpatients log, in the special column, confirming their signatures! And, young colt, don't be shy ladies, forget the vulgar word "period", there is a great EQUESTRIAN (!) the word "MENSTRUATION!" For some time the skeleton of Mane Goodall silently stared at the sight of Ponrad. The unicorn was even a little uncomfortable, but then the Mare burst out laughing, almost falling from her chair. "Ah Yes Ponrad! Ah Yes you, sonova...!" "What's funny for you? But somehow It was not very funny at the time..."- the unicorn muttered angrily making another SIP and looking angrily at the bottom of the mugs. "Ponny, I think I know how to raise you up..." "Dr. Goodall, please spare me from your veterinary stories..." "I won't. Just shut up and listen,"- as if nothing had happened, the filly continued,- "the cat has brought me three broken legs. Me: "Did you fall out of the window?" Host: "Yes." "Which floor?" "First." "???" "Scared dogs jumped. He climbed up a tree. Peeling was afraid. Brought a fire truck. They had no ladders or towers. Only water hoses. They offered to knock the cat off the tree with water. Knocked him down..." Unicorn, unlike his colleagues who had to take the collar more impressive dose in the chair could not resist. Mane sighed, grunted, and finally helped to drunkenly giggling Ponrad to stand on his hooves. "It seems to me that some pony today already have enough red eyes..." "Mane, you are silly filly, they always have me red ones!" "Here I am about the same... come to take you home..." "To your house, I hope?" "You are too old for me, grandfather Roentgen. I'm granddaughter suitable. I am afraid it will make people talk. And actually you are really not to my taste. Now, if you shaved your beard..." "No way!.." Ponrad Roentgen. Diary: "...When I was a student. Less talking, more listening (or it seems so to me now)... Beginning practice after school. Exchange griffins (thanks to Celestia!). Part-time employment in some nameless veterinary cooperative. Me and my Teacher (Yes, with capital letters, and he's a little Griffin). Fashion for Shar-peis. Puppy Shar-Pei, the operation regarding the inversion of the eyelids of puppy is done. Let's go... After three or four hours the owner and his pals flew with crossbows at the ready: "the Puppy died with the comfort of anesthesia. Chase coins. 3500 gold." Paid (!). The same evening I was sitting sadly with a bitter drink. Teacher: "We made several mistakes." Me: "What kind of?" "We were not asked to bring a corpse, and maybe we got divorced!" "Horse apples!.." "We had to dissect a corpse in order to understand the causes of death and draw conclusions!" "What the hay, right!" "Puppy, young, healthy, Pei... we had to try to make him dinner... never tried dog's meat..." "...Why?!" " Well? DINNER FOR 3500 gold!!!"