I paced frustratedly over every inch of carpet in my tree house. It was literally a tree house, not a makeshift cabin in the treetops but a big oak tree made into a small, crappy house. Spig, my pet dragon. waddled up to me and patted my shoulder in attempt to get my attention.
"What is it?"
"Mistress, what vexes you?"
"Well, I-- Wait, did you just use the word 'vex'? Good boy, Spiggy Wiggy!"
"I looked through the big word book again."
"Good little dragon, you get a cookie! But yeah, I'm just a little frustrated."
"Why?"
"I have a plan, but I don't know what to do with it. I can't finish it however hard I try."
"Can I help, Mistress Twilit?"
"Okay, but you can't tell ANYONE, okay?"
"Okay, Mistress."
"I'm going to take down the Princesses, Kelestia and Luny!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm sick of them. I want to be pony princess now, and rule Equestria with a just hoof!"
"Can I be prince?"
"No. Remember, Spig. That's bestiality."
"Oh, ok."
"You can be the royal mascot. Spig the magic dragon of Equestria! Cute, but brave."
"Yay!"
"Yay! Indeed, Spig. Luny and Kelestia are going DOWN!"
"DOWN! DOWN! YAY!" Spig shouted enthusiastically, clapping his hands. I smiled at his gleeful face, filled with ignorant joy. I embraced him in a friendly hug and ordered him to get some drinks. I planned on letting my friends in on the plan, but first I needed to do some…convincing. Convincing meaning poisoning.
***
"Ooooh, Twiiiiliiiit!" Sang the familiar voice of Vanity from my front door. I opened it to see Vanity, the purple pony with white hair at the front, Stutterfly behind Vanity, Apple Hack and Rainbow Basher bickering behind her and Evil McNastypants at the very back of the group, patiently waiting to come in.
"Hey guys, come in! Spig's made you some apple cider." I encouraged, stepping back for them to enter. Vanity strutted in, her perfectly curled mane bouncing around her head. Stutterfly, Apple Jack and Rainbow Basher entered and Evil McNastypants came in last. They all made themselves welcome and took a seat each around the living room. I went into the kitchen, where Spig was just fixing up the last few apple ciders for the group.
"Shhh, Spig. Don't tell them our plan yet, ok? Otherwise no cookie!" I warned him, shooing him out of the kitchen. He kept his lip zipped, fortunately. I turned back to the apple ciders and, following the instructions of a manual on dark magic, I spigged spiked every glass with an "Encouragement" spell. Then I levitated the tray and took it out to my friends.
"Here you go, guys!" I chirped, giving each friend a drink.
"Aren't you gonna have one?" asked Rainbow Basher, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah, not thirsty." I replied casually, sitting back on the sofa. Vanity chatted away animatedly as the the others sipped away at their drinks.
"Then I decided that black is sexy, but not slutty. Brilliant, but not showy. You know?" Vanity jabbered, taking a big gulp of cider. Within minutes, everybody's eyes had turned pink except Vanity's, and it wasn't the alchohol. Vanity was too busy talking to notice.
"Blimey, she was a right tosser her! Ha! Ah, well. Guess not everybody can be as refined as one's self. Hmm?" Vanity took another big gulp and sat back again, twirling her mane. Slowly but surely, her eyes turned pink too. I smiled, stood up and announced
"Alright, everybody. Now that Vanity's done, I have something to tell you. I'm going to take down the princesses before midnight tonight, and you're all going to help me."