Why Maids Don't Date the Guards

by Lunarus Solaris Nexus


Hearts and Hooves Day

A late winter chill gently blew through the streets of the suburban section of Canterlot. The white snow the month prior had finally melted last week, to the children's dismays. That didn’t stop a couple of foals wrapped in their winter best outside of a quaint, two story white house with black shutters. Inside however, their children's respective parents sat in the living room near a warm fire in the black marble fireplace.
The fathers, an ageing dark blue unicorn with prosthetic, metal legs and a much younger blood red unicorn covered in black stripes, sat with their backs to the fire as men always do. The mothers, a light gray bat pony with a pale purple mane and a light brown pegasus with her long black tied back in a pony tail. She was late in a fairly nervous pregnancy while she looked to be much earlier in her term. The bat pony sat on an armless chair to the left of the pegasus who was laying back on the couch with her hind hoofs on the arm of the couch.
"Your hoofs still sore Dust?" the blue unicorn asked the pregnant mare.
"A little bit." She replied sitting up a little. "You mind? You're about to go."
"Of cores not Dust." her blue husband replied getting up from the fire.
"I still don't get how you can stand those hoofs giving you a hoof rub." the bat pony commented.
"Lunar's gentle enough, it's nowhere near as bad as you think." Dust informed as the blue unicorn known as Lunar sat at the end of the sofa where his wife's hoofs were.
She let out a low sigh as he started rubbing her swollen hoofs, lucky that he was so gentle.
"I still wouldn't let Ephi rub my hoofs if he had those legs."
"Not my choice to have 'em Hestaria." Lunar replied before switching to her left hoof. "You've snooped through my files enough."
Hestaria leaned over to the coffee table and took a sip of her mixed drink. Everypony had a quick chuckle as the kids from the front yard rushed in out of breath. It wasn't very hard to know who birthed who from looking at them. The little bat filly and navy blue pegasus colt had the widest grins full of curiosity at the mysteries of life.
"What's up y'all?" Lunar asked as they both ran up to Dust.
"We wanted to see if Lilly was kicking!" the little bat filly said as her pale pink mane started to peak out from under her black knit cap.
"You're welcome to feel if you two want." Dust said rubbing her belly.
"How much longer did the doctor say anyways?" the red unicorn interjected.
"Hard to say." Nexus answered as as the children started feeling around Dust's stomach to see if the baby would kick. "She's mostly concerned with how small she is. She looks developed in the ultrasounds but they're concerned she might not have a fully developed brain."
Dust twitched and the children giggled at feeling the little filly in her tummy kick. "How'd she get in mommy's belly Dad?" the pegasus colt asked his father.
Lunar licked his lips to try and give himself a few moments to think before giving the best answer he could think to tell his five year old kid. "Wizards. All Dads are wizards."
The adults chuckled at the answer he gave while the kids just more or less accepted it.
"Well as much as I'd love to keep rubbing your hoofs Dust," Lunar said moving to . "We've all got some shopping to do. Don't we Ephi?"
"Yeah I guess." the red unicorn said as he sat up. "Come on Gale."
"Aw! But I wanna see if Lilly kicks again, Papi!" the bat filly complained.
"Do we have to go Hearts and Hooves shopping, Dad?" The colt asked climbing onto his dad's back.
"Yes we do Astral. We gotta get cards and candy for your class remember?"
"See you guys soon." Dust said as Hestaria helped her sit up.
Nexus kissed his wife and she leaned over and kissed her son on his cheek. He did quickly rubbed his cheek and groan at it all. Hestaria kissed her husband and her daughter too just as a knock came at the door.
"We expectin' anypony Dusty?" Lunar asked as he started towards the door.
Dust blushed a tad hearing her pet name. "We are."
Nexus opened the door and found a very unexpected face with an unexpected package.
"Luna?" Princess Luna with her mane tied back wasn't an odd sight at the Nexus household, not even when she was uninvited. But it was more what she was carrying that surprised Nexus. A neatly wrapped box lay on her back. "What's the occasion?"
Luna cocked her head to the side and glanced into the living room. "Am I early Mrs. Nexus?" she asked Dust.
"No Luna," Dust replied craning her neck around to see the guest. "You're right on time."
"On time for what?"
"Did you seriously not tell him?" Hestaria asked.
"Somepony mind telling me what's going on here?" Nexus asked with a groan.
"I figured you'd be gone before anypony showed up." Dust began. "I decided to have my baby shower today because I knew you four would be shopping today."
"And who exactly is coming?" Nexus asked.
"Some maids from the castle, a few art school friends, our mothers and Luna. Oh and I think Firebrand's girl friend'll be here too!"
"He's got a girlfriend? Um… whatever. Luna, is our cab out there?"
"It was, but I told him to return and paid for the trip out here. Take our carriage instead Lunarus."
"You sure Luna? I wouldn't want to-"
"I insist."
Nexus wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially from such a good friend. He shrugged and stepped aside to let Luna in. Outside, the familiar royal chariot stood with its four pegasus pullers. The white body and fully open sides were very distinct and unmistakable.
"We'll be back in a few hours Dusty." Nexus called as Ephialtes walked out.
"I'll see you then Lunar." She called back just as happily.
Ephialtes was the first to lean back into the royal purple cushion, very quickly followed by Nexus. They placed their children in their laps and told them to hang on.
"Where to?" the right lead pegasus asked.
"The mall. We got some last minute shopping to do for the girls." Ephilates said as his daughter slipped her cap off and dropped it into her lap. Ephialtes tried to get her to put it back on but she slapped his hoofs away before he got the chance. "You and your mother."
"You asked." Nexus said with his usual smart ass tone just as the chariot started off to the center of Canterlot.