//------------------------------//
// Chapter 48: Me, Myself and I 
// Story: Secrets of the Everfree 
// by PaisleyPerson 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 48
Me, Myself and I



I was alone. There was no one to turn to in my time of distress. I didn’t realize how much I missed Torchwood’s strong, comforting embrace until it was gone. When I was with him, I knew everything would always be alright. But now he’d packed his bags and left. And it was all my fault.
The ground was spinning, literally, as I toppled to the floor. My mind was whirling as all of our arguments came rushing back, most of which I’d started. For months I’d waited for the right moment to apologize to show itself. In the heat of the moment, I never recognized the right time. Or perhaps I was just waiting for when it would be convenient for me, because only in hindsight did I realize how many of those opportunities I passed up. How long ago could this have been resolved if I’d only shut my mouth? If only I’d listened to what he had to say instead of yelling?
I’d been under so much pressure to be a good parent, a good wife that I hadn’t been either. When I couldn’t take the stress, I broke down in tears or tried to run away from the problem instead of facing it. I couldn’t expect Torchwood to take care of everything for me. He was doing all he could. It’d taken me a while to learn how to manage Charcoal, but now that I’d worked out the kinks, I was doing well enough on my own. I really didn’t need him to come home right away after work. Now that I thought about it, it must’ve felt like I had him under some sort of lockdown. In fact, if either of us had been running from the responsibility of parenting, it’d been me. As soon as Torchwood got home, I’d go off to join my friends, justifying my actions as a ‘hard-earned break’. Yes, Torch did his fair share of babysitting.
What in Equestria was I supposed to do without him? Well, at least I still had my friends. And Blaze had always been a big help...
Blaze.
What was I supposed to tell him? His biological mother had already passed away, and his brother had chosen to return home. But Blaze stayed with me because I promised that I’d always take care of him. What kind of parent had I become? It was bad enough that his first family had broken, but now this one was falling apart. 
I was too stricken with grief to do anything. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t even move. I just hunched over in a dejected, forlorn, wistful heap. What a miserable form I was! A lousy wife, a wreck of a parent... the only thing I could still claim to be good at was art. ‘A whole lot of good that does me,’ I bitterly thought to myself.
“You in there, Acrylic?” came a knock at the door. My heart dropped. Twilight was back, which meant Blaze would be coming home. “Hello?” My voice caught in my throat when I tried to reply, so I forced myself to mechanically lumber over to the door. I supported myself on the wooden panel as Twilight peered in. I saw everyone else already gathered behind her.“Oh, there you are! I was beginning to think you weren’t here. I was just rounding everypony up for a debriefing... hey, are you alright?”
“No.” My voice quavered, as did my lip. 
“Whoa!” she exclaimed, catching me with her wing as I staggered forward.
“Heavens!”
“Are ya alright, sugar cube?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Is there anything we can do?”
“Blaze, why don’t you make her some tea?” Rarity suggested.
“Tea. Okay.” By Blaze’s dejected disposition, I got the idea he had an inkling of what was wrong.
“I’ll help,” Spike spoke up, jogging in after him. I saw Spike place a consoling claw on his shoulder before they rounded the corner. Rarity leaned in close, her voice hushed.
“Is it Torchwood?” My eyes filled with tears.
“He’s gone, Rarity,” I wailed, entire body trembling. “He’s gone!”
“Shh,” she cooed, stroking my coat.
“Torchwood? Gone?” Twilight gasped. “But that’s so unlike him! What happened?”
“Twi missed last night,” Applejack realized. “Ya better start from the beginning so she can follow along, sugar cube.”
“Torch and I...  h-have been fighting for a while,” I unsteadily confessed. “Over s-stupid things, n-not worth it.” The stutter grew worse with every breath I took. “W-we came home, a-and he was s-sitting there at the table. Blaze was g-gone, and w-we started f-fighting again. Then...” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. Applejack picked me up.
“Take it easy, darlin’. What happened?”
“He left!” I sobbed, burying myself in her mane. (Unlike Rarity, Applejack didn’t care if her hair was ruffled.)
“Torchwood’s gone?” Blaze reappeared at the end of the hallway, eyes wide and full of terror. I’d never seen him so scared.
“Blaze...” I choked.
“He left?”
“Please, Blaze-”
“Is he coming back?” The hatchling frustratedly demanded, desperate from a straight answer. Another tear splattered on the wooden floor as I looked away. “Just tell me!” he begged.
“I don’t know, baby.”
“I’m sure he will, sweetheart,” Fluttershy assured, creeping forward to reassure him. He pulled away from the yellow mare. 
“No! This is... this is all your fault!” He pointed an accusing claw at me, eyes full of contempt and tears. He might as well have pierced me with a sword, for the hurtful action cut through to the heart.
“Blaze,” Twilight gently scolded. But the hatchling had already spread his wings. He shot out the door above us, escaping to the open skies.
“Blaze, wait!” Spike called after him, running after him as far as the threshold. Without wings, he was unable to pursue his best friend.
“Should I go after him?” Rainbow inquired.
“Just keep an eye on him, Rainbow,” Twilight directed. “But stay your distance- he wants to be alone right now.” Dash gave an affirmative salute before taking off. 
“He’s right, though,” I miserably wept. “It’s all my fault.”
“How about that cup of tea?” Rarity suggested, heading to the kitchen to fix it herself. After Blaze had rejected her, Fluttershy moved to work her magic on forgotten Charcoal, who was still crying off in his corner.
“I’m sure it wasn’t all your fault,” Applejack heartened, half leading, half carrying me over to the single armchair.
“It was! I never should have said any of those things. I’m the Element of Forgiveness! I should have stopped it early on. It’s my fault it came to this! It’s all my fault...”
“It’s okay! Even though you did chase him away with all those nasty things you said, I’m sure everything will be ooooookay!” Pinkie sang. “I bet he’ll come back and you won’t have to worry about any more screaming or yelling or fighting!”
“That’s not helping, Pinkie,” Applejack face-hoofed. 
“No... she’s right, in her own weird, Pinkie Pie way,” I sniffed. “Except, I can’t wait around for Torch to come back. I’ve got to go after him.”
“You sure you’re up for it?” Twilight asked. “That was a traumatic experience for both of you.”
“I’ve put this off far too long, Twi. You guys think you could keep an eye on Char until I get back?”
“I’m sure he’ll be a pleasure,” Fluttershy gently rocked him. “Who’s a good boy? Yes, you are!” she giggled. 
“We’ll keep an eye on ‘er,” Applejack whispered.
“I still think you should give it a little time,” Twilight pressed. Just so you both can cool down. Do you even know where he went?”
“He said he was going to Cedar’s.”
“Great! Then let Cedar talk a little sense into him before you go back. Just think about it, Acrylic. I think it’s for the best.”
“Well...” It made sense, but I wasn’t sure if I could wait that long. Wait a minute. I shook my head. No, I’d been putting myself first for far too long. “I... guess you’re right.”
“Are you kidding? She can’t wait another second! All this is tearing Blaze apart! The sooner it’s fixed, the better,” Spike resolutely folded his arms. I sank. He also had a point. So what was I supposed to do?
“SPIKE!” Twilight loudly barked. The dragon didn’t even flinch. “I think you should go home. I’ll meet you at the library.”
“But-!”
“No buts! I’ll meet you there,” she repeated. With a snarl of irritation, Spike stormed out.
“I know I’ve been unfair to Blaze,” I sighed. “I’ve got to set things right.”
“And you will, darling,” Rarity set a steaming cup of chamomile in my hooves. “But in your own time. No use in making things worse by approaching the matter too soon.”
“I know.”
“He made it to the dragon craters,” Rainbow panted, landing in the doorway. 
“I figured he’d go to his brother,” I nodded. “Garble’s the one stable person he can always count on.”
“So, Twi. Looks like you’ve finally gotten us all rounded up. What was it you wanted to tell us?” 
“Rainbow Dash! I don’t think Acrylic’s in any state to be concerning herself with Equestria’s problems. She’s dealing with her own at present.”
“That’s okay. Maybe it’ll take my mind off things. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little curious.” I took a sip of Rarity’s tea, which helped me compose myself that much more.
“There’s really not much to report anyway. The meeting was called because Princess Luna and Princess Celestia had a vision last night that one of their old foes, Lord Tirek, had returned. They said he was a creature capable of and intent on stealing Equestrian magic.”
“He sounds awfully dangerous,” Fluttershy shuddered. 
“Bring it on! I’m not letting that punk steal any magic from my friends,” Rainbow energetically punched the air, fighting some invisible opponent.
“How are we supposed to defeat such a creature without the Elements?” Rarity wondered.
“We’re not. The princesses decided to send in Discord to take care of it,” Twilight almost irritably sighed, pouring herself a cup of tea as well.
“DISCORD?! As in, Discord, Discord?” Applejack exclaimed. 
“Yes!”
“I don't think it's that big of a surprise. He can be very helpful,” Fluttershy spoke up. The others all shared the same incredulous look.
“He can sense when there's a magical imbalance. The next time Tirek steals magic, Discord will be able to track him down,” Twilight explained.
“So what are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Rainbow wondered, rather disappointed we’d be missing out on the action. 
“Right now, we just need to deal with the problem at hoof,” Twilight stomped in emphasis, and looked to me. She was talking about my problem. I almost chuckled.
“It feels like you guys always have to step in and take care of me. Thanks for putting up with all this drama, everypony. Sometimes I think I need more babysitting than Charcoal does.”
“Don’t mention it, sugar cube.”
“As your friends, it’s our job is to keep your frowns turned upside down,” Pinki dutifully agreed.
“You would do the same for us,” Fluttershy nodded.
“But surely you have better things to do than look out for me?”
“Not really. Not unless one of you needs me to smile and wave,” Twilight sagged.
“Well... I do have an appointment later on today...” Fluttershy confessed. “But why don’t you girls tag along? It was just going to be me and Discord going out to a picnic, but the more the merrier, right?”
“Discord?” Applejack rolled her eyes.
“Oh, no, no, no, dear. I’m not in the mood to put up with such a brute, let alone Acrylic.”
“I think that would be nice, actually,” I weakly smiled. 
“WHAT?!”
“I haven’t seen him since having the baby. I’ve been meaning to pay him a visit, but I know he doesn’t like kids much.”
“Oh, don’t be silly. I’m sure he’d just love to meet Charcoal!” Fluttershy beamed. 
“Don’t you guys remember? The princesses commissioned him to catch that Tirek guy. He probably won’t be able to make some boring old picnic,” Dash pointed out.
“Some boring old picnic?”
“YAH!”
“Why, Fluttershy’s picnics are never boring,” Discord corrected. “In fact, they’re delightful occasions!”
“What’re you doin’ here, Discord?” Applejack barked.
“My ears were burning,” he innocently shrugged, the tips of his ears spontaneously catching flame. He splashed a glass of water on his face to put it out, the liquid failing to wash a sly smirk off his face. Charcoal was rather disappointed when the pretty flame went out, and tried to reignite  it. Baffled when his ears again lit on fire, Discord perplexedly extinguished the flames with a snap of his paw. Charcoal again lit it, Discord put it out again, and the two went round and round like this until Discord finally pinpointed the source of the blue fire. “Oh, what a cutie this one is!” The draconequus teleported to Charcoal’s corner and picked him up for a closer examination.
“Discord, meet Charcoal Stormwood. Charcoal, meet your Uncle Discord.”
“Do?” Charcoal cocked his head. 
“Oh, so you’re the reason your mummy hasn’t come to visit me in over a year,” Discord’s voice went to a cheery sing-song tone to a flat, unhappy one by the end of the sentence, and he looked at the baby with new distaste.
“Sorry.”
“Oh, it isn’t your fault. The child simply must learn to share.” Discord indignantly turned away, and dropped Charcoal so he was free to fold his arms. I leapt forward to catch the tumbling baby. 
“DISCORD! Be gentle with him!” I tenderly brushed aside a few misplaced locks of hair before gently setting him back down.
“Why don’t you just leave already? Don’t you have some fancy smanshy mission to go on?” Rainbow growled.
“Yes, yes, I suppose you already know the princesses have tasked me to capture a certain escapee. I was just doing a bit of light reading before I head off.” He lightly flipped through the friendship journal we’d all been keeping. “My, my, haven’t you girls just learned sooo much?”
“Hey, give that back!” Twilight irritably yanked it away. He held up his paws for a truce. 
“Why would you possibly want to read experiences from our private journal?” Rarity snapped.
“I was simply trying to be a good friend.”
“How is invading our privacy being a good friend?” Dash’s eyes narrowed. Discord wrapped his arms around all of us, and we were suddenly teleported to the Tree of Harmony.
“Charcoal! Where’s Charcoal?!” I immediately squealed. I couldn’t leave him alone!
“Charcoal? Hmm, sorry. The name doesn’t ring a bell.”
“My. Son.” I seethed. Just because we were friends didn’t mean he never got on my nerves.
“You mean the little green fellow?” Discord presented the child up on his shoulders. 
Honestly, he looks nothing like either of you.” I irritably snatched back my child. “You must stop worrying about him so much. It isn’t as though his father couldn’t take care of him.” I stiffened.
“Torchwood... isn’t home, at the moment.”
“Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot about your most recent fight.”
“Wait, how did you know we were fighting?”
“Oh dear. Is eavesdropping not how you’re supposed to find out what your best pals are up to? Woe is me! Will I ever learn the intricate nuances of being a good friend?” While Discord sniggered, I felt so hurt all I could really do was glare at the ground and coddle my son. “Don’t give me that look, Acrylic. I say you’re better off without him. I specifically remember him promising you and me at your wedding day that he would take care of you, and I quote, ‘For as long as he lived’. Where is he now?”
“Shut up, Discord,” I quietly muttered.
“I mean, unless he spontaneously keeled over and died, or flat out fell off the face of Equestria, that would be another matter entirely, but this-”
“I SAID SHUT UP!” I screeched. He was rather taken aback, and simply blinked at my outburst. I situated Charcoal on my back and began pacing. 
“Discord, be nice. She’s been through a lot,” Fluttershy scoldingly whispered.
“It’s not my fault she married a jerk,” he shrugged.
“Enough! Now, back to the subject at hoof. What are we doing here? And what did you mean when you said you were ‘just trying to be a good friend’?” Twilight inquired, changing the subject.
“Yes, that. See, it's just that I couldn't help but notice that Twilight hasn't yet opened this little chest of hers. It got me thinking, what if what's locked inside is something that could help her prove her royal worth? I only bring it up because she said that she's been feeling like her role as a princess doesn't equate to much.”
“More eavesdropping? Come now, Discord, I know you know better,” Fluttershy crossed her arms. 
“Well, well. It appears as though I’m unwelcome here. I suppose this is as good a time as any to make my exit.” Discord hopped aboard a purple-and-blue polka dotted scooter, strapped on a helmet, and teleported off.
“AND GOOD RIDANCE!” Applejack hollered off into the distance.
“Oopsie-doopsie, I almost left with the little journal you've all been keeping. What a fascinating read. I've bookmarked a few of the more interesting passages. You really should take a look!” He balanced it back on Twilight’s horn. He then crouched down next to Fluttershy. “And about the picnic... with all this Tirek business, do you think we could reschedule for when I get back?”
“I’ll be there. I also invited Acrylic, but after your behavior today, you might’ve just scared her off.” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, prompting an apology. Discord either didn’t catch on or refused, because he merely shrugged.
“Her loss.” He nonchalantly trotted off through a door leading off to who-knows-where, leaving us alone at last. 
“Sometimes I think the ‘reformed’ Discord is even more obnoxious than the ‘before-he-was-reformed Discord’,” Applejack snorted. 
“Indeed,” Rarity concurred. 
“But he could be right, though, couldn’t he? What if there is something important inside that chest?” Fluttershy wondered. 
“Well, there’s only one way to find out. And since we’re already here, I might head over to the Castle of the Two Sisters and do some digging,” Twilight decided, levitating the book off her head.
“You go ahead. We’ll walk Acrylic and Charcoal home and meet you over there.”
“What? Hold on! If you guys are going over to the castle, I want to come too!”
“Your enthusiasm is admirable, darling, but it would be better if you went home to rest.”
“Please, you guys. The last thing I need is more time alone.”
“But what are you going to do with Charcoal?”
“If we’re headed to the castle anyway, it’s only a few more miles to Baltimare. I can drop him off at my sister’s and come right back.”
“If you’re sure you’re up for it, I guess we can’t stop you...” Twilight shrugged. “But take it easy.”
“Sitting around doing nothing is just going to make me feel worse. And it’s just reading, right? How hard could it be?”
“We’ll meet ya over there, then,” Applejack scratched her head. 





*Knock knock knock!*
“Coming,” a voice called from within the isolated log cabin. “Oh, hey, Torch.”
“Hi, Cedar.”
“Is your wife here?” Cedar peered around the stallion in his doorway.
“No,” Torch looked down, a sad smile tickling the corner of his mouth. 
“Well... come on in. What brings you around to this side of the Everfree?” Cedar swung the door wider, moved aside to let Torch in, and promptly got to work clearing space on the single couch.
“Look, I’m sorry to have to ask on short notice, but I was hoping I could stay over a night,” Torchwood confessed. Cedar stopped what he was doing and stared at his guest.
“Sorry, come again?”
“Acrylic and I... need a break,” Torchwood chose his words carefully. Cedar was too stunned to speak for a moment, and just stared out into space.
“I... uh... I had no idea,” he finally stuttered. “It’s that bad, huh?”
“We can’t go three days without fighting anymore. So, can I stay over?”
“I... guess...” Cedar decided. 
“Thanks.” Torchwood removed his bags and set them neatly on the couch. 
“How long are you going to stay? What will you do? Where will you go?”
“Back to Vanhoover, maybe. Graphite Sketch and I are on better terms. Maybe he’ll take me back.”
“So you mean you’re leaving leaving? What about Acrylic and Torch? That’s going to tear them up!” Torchwood looked pained at the mention of his family.
“I know. But Cedar, I can’t put up with this anymore. At first I thought it was just the stress of the baby getting to her, but I can’t put up with it anymore. Everything is always my fault. She says I need to do more for the baby, but I can’t be at work and home at the same time! Somepony has to bring in enough income to support a family.”
“Well... maybe she doesn’t want your money. Maybe she just wants you.” Torchwood paused. He had been a little caught up with work lately. And he had been staying out recently, whether with Carrot or just off on his own. But that was justifiable. After all, Acrylic went out with her friends all the time. Right? He never even told her where he’d been going. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Torchwood saw how this could have caused problems.
“Look, Torch,” Cedar sighed. “You’re welcome to stay here- you’ve always been like a brother to me, and brothers look out for each other. But you have another family to look out for now. You and Acrylic might have your differences, but you can’t just walk out on them. It’s your baby too.”
“Now you sound like her!” Torchwood growled, unsettled once again. “I take as much responsibility for the baby as she does!”
“I’m sure you do,” Cedar hurriedly soothed. “And that baby needs you. You don’t really want Charcoal to grow up without his dad, do you?” Torchwood most definitely did not want that. “So stay the night, sleep it off. Maybe you’ll have things figured out by morning, but if not... take all the time you need.” Cedar spread a brotherly wing across his friend. “The couch is all yours. I’ll see if I can dig up some spare sheets.” Left with these words of wisdom, Torch found himself alone in Cedar’s living room. 
Alone.