//------------------------------//
// Can You Kill Trust Or Love Or Loyalty? 
// Story: A Pony In The Wasteland 
// by Ribe_FireRain 
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Me and Rainbow were walking back to Megaton after exiting the Ranger Compound, thankfully not running into any dangers. We barely talked as we headed for our destination. To be honest, I haven't really planned what I was going to do when we get back. Rainbow has been put through a whole bunch of stuff because of me and what they did to us at Paradise Falls, but she seemed so weak, so frightened. 

It only took us a short while to find a place to rest for a little bit. A run-down shack. It wasn't much and didn't offer much overhead protection, but it'll do. There wasn't much inside, either, except for a fridge that was on it's back and a couple footlockers with no locks on them and a box of spare rifle ammunition. We both looked inside the footlockers and took what was useful, if not, tradeable. I only found a few bottle caps, a metal helmet and a 44. Magnum along with around twenty-four rounds for it, including some already inside the cylinder.  Rainbow didn't find much, but did find a couple grenades. When she rolled them over, I just looked back at her, able to see that upset expression she has had on her face since a couple or so days ago.

I sat on my footlocker, Rainbow doing the same with hers. She didn't look back to me, she just kept her eyes on the floor. I don't really know why she was acting this way, but after everything, I guess it is understandable. I picked up one of the grenades that was near my boot and mindlessly looked over it. 

''Hey, Rainbow?'' I said, trying to not raise my voice to a loud enough volume that would startle her. She didn't look up, but I did see her ear twitch, showing me that she was indeed listening to me. ''You okay?'' You look pale... Rainbow looked up this time, staring back into my eyes. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and they were glazed with tears. Clearly all this emotional stuff has taken its toll on her. I slowly moved beside her, just able to feel how cold she was. I stroked her mane softly in an attempt to calm her down. Within moments, she settled down and looked back into my eyes. I could see her shaking softly.

''...Why?'' She whimpered. ''Just...Why? Why me?'' Her shaking grew more violent as she looked down to the floor, a few tears impacting with the metal flooring. ''I didn't ask for any of this! I-I just wanna go home! I want my friends back! I want my old life back!'' 

''Dashie I-''

''No! Don't 'Dashie' me!'' She glared at me, her breathing becoming heavier. ''I'm sorry, Brady, but I don't know if I can bring myself to trust you again! You nearly killed me! You shot me! And I'm pregnant! I don't know what to do about any of this at all! All I want is to go home!''

I didn't know what to think. It got me thinking about everything. I didn't actually blame her for thinking any of this, even if it did make my heart ache. Everything that Rainbow said just now...it basically meant she doesn't love me anymore. Not in the same way that she did, anyway. She sees me as something different. A monster, a cold-blooded assassin. If the Enclave didn't do whatever they did to me and left me dead, then maybe none of this would of happened. I got up off of the footlocker and picked up the Magnum from the one I was previously sat on. Without thinking, I placed the barrel towards my head and pulled back the hammer with my thumb, sounding a click that caught Rainbow's attention, alarming her as she looked at me.

''Brady! What're you doing?! Put it down!'' She pleaded, reaching her hooves out as if to touch me as tears welled in her eyes. Tears invaded my own eyes as I looked at her. I seriously didn't know what I was even doing, pointing this gun at my head. Truth be told, I think things were better if I just didn't come back to the world of the living. I was better off dead. If I still was, none of the pain my Rainbow is feeling right now would be felt. She could of been happy and moved on. But the Enclave changed that.

''Rainbow, I'm sorry. Maybe things were better the way they were. If I stayed dead, you wouldn't be living like this. This is all my fault.'' 

''No! Don't! None of this was your fault, Brady! I lost you once, I don't want to lose you again!'' 

I noticed her flinch as I gently squeezed the trigger, snapping my eyes shut as the hammer was released. But the bullet never came. I pulled the trigger again, hearing nothing but clicking.

Click, Click, Click

I retracted the pistol from my head, focusing on a somewhat relieved Rainbow Dash. I dropped the Magnum, Rainbow watching me with sad, angry and relief-filled eyes.

''Are you...CRAZY?!'' She shrieked. ''You were going to kill yourself?! What were you even hoping you would gain from that?!''

I looked down this time, feeling partly guilty yet annoyed. Things were clearly not how they were meant to be.

''I shouldn't be alive, Rainbow. You're like this because of me, aren't you? You don't trust or love me like you did before and probably will never do so again. Things can only be right again if I die.'' I turned away from her, sitting back on the footlocker as I hung my head. I could of sworn I heard Rainbow sniffling behind me. I felt her hoof on my shoulder as she sat next to me. She placed her hoof to my chin and turned my head to face her, smiling the softest smile I have ever seen her use.

''Brady, I'm nothing without you. I couldn't get over it when you died and I pretty much lost my mind. Moira and Billy and everyone else wanted to help me, but the only one who truly understood me was you. You're right about me not containing the feelings I had for you before you died, but I still have a fraction of those left.'' She gently kissed me on the lips, the moment lasting for only a brief second. ''I don't know where this puts us now that things are different, but if there was one thing to ask...I...'' She paused, looking unsure of what to say next.

''Yes? Come on, Rainbow you can ask me anything.'' I ushered her. She fidgeted with her hooves before she could bring herself to look up to me.

''I want to go home. Not to Megaton...but home-home. Back to Equestria. My world, the one where I belong.'' 

Well, she's got me there. As much as I want to help her, she has to ask the one thing I aren't even sure is possible. What could I possibly say to her? Tell her very simply and plainly that there is a way to get back home even though there obviously isn't a way. Rainbow's pony friends may be able to find her and take her back home, but with god-knows how many universes there are, there will be no telling if they will ever find the right world.

''Rainbow Dash...I...'' I couldn't say anything. All I could do was hug her. She squirmed and fidgeted around a little as I held onto her. She eventually settled down into the embrace and began to cry on my shoulder, softly at first then getting heavier. All I could do was hold her close and stroke her mane, wanting nothing more than for her to settle down and know that someone still cared about her. ''I'm Sorry, Dash. I'm just...not sure if there is a way. If there was, I'd gladly see you through it. All I want is for you to be safe. I know you may not trust me, but at least know that I care for you greatly. After all we've been through together, I intend on staying by your side.''

She looked up, smiling warmly as she wiped her eyes with a hoof, sniffling. ''T-T-Thank you...not just for this, but for everything.'' 

''I won't ever leave you hanging, Rainbow. I mean that.''


***   ***   ***


We sat there for a while in each other's arms as the day turned into night. It was the closest we've been with each other in a long time. When I looked down at her, seeing her still sleeping with her cheek pressed into my shoulder, I could see her smiling. I missed seeing that adorable look on her face, she looked so peaceful. How she got here still remained one of the biggest mysteries, but I'm determined to know how she can get back to her home. She deserves more than a life of hardship and cruelty. Even more so than me.

I rubbed the top of her mane with my hand in a soft and loving motion and when I was about to wake her up, I heard what sounded like a bird. But oddly enough, there was no birds in the Wasteland, apart from the hawks above Megaton. It grew louder and louder and when I dared to look for the source of the noise, I peeked at the sky, seeing something flying towards us, being just near invisible in the field of vision the night provided. 

It was a vertibird.

I quickly pulled Dash off my shoulder and pushed myself furthest into the wall as I could to prevent them seeing us. Rainbow tumbled around in my arms as I held her close, clearly being quite shocked by the sudden movements.

''Brady! What're you-'' She started but I stopped her by placing my hand gently over her mouth. 

''Shh. Keep it down, we're in trouble. Vertibird in the sky.'' I pointed to the flying gunship in the night sky and immediately felt Rainbow tense up. I released my hand from her mouth and I heard her gasp softly. ''Don't make any noises or sudden movements. They'll gun us both down if we're not careful.''

We watched on in silence as the vertibird flew overhead for a few moments before it moved on, the sound of the engines slowly fading into the distance. Breathing a sigh of relief, we both got back to our feet and decided it would be best to head to Megaton now before it comes back to find us.


***   ***   ***


Thankfully, we made it to Megaton with no problems getting in our way. Again, though, like all the other times we came into town after supposedly going missing or being on a mission that most people thought us to be dead for, some (or most) townsfolk began to crowd around us in seconds. Lucas was of course at the front.

''Brady?!'' He would of exclaimed, if not for the amount of shock his brain was rolling in. ''How's this even possible? I shot you! You're dead!''

I frowned a little at that. ''I was. The Enclave did something to me, made me forget who I was after bringing me back. Trust me, don't ask.''

''But...where have you been? First you die, we don't see you for a long time and then Billy comes back with some guy in black armour and Gustavo isn't with him, only Rainbow.''

I saw Rainbow cringe a little. I touch her shoulder with my hand, calming her before looking up to Lucas. ''Yeah, about that. That was me in the armour. It was Mark 2 Power Armour. From the Enclave. Look, just don't worry about anything, Lucas. I'm just here to get a few things and then I'm leaving. But first, where's Moira? Still in her shop?''

''Yeah, she's still up at Craterside Supply.''

''Right, thanks.'' I nodded as I smiled softly, shortly making my way to the walkway going just above the clinic and onto the level with Moira's shop on it. When I got inside, I saw Moira doing what she usually does - sweeping the floor with a worn, old broom. She took one glance at me, and it didn't take long for me to notice just how miserable she looked. She unexpectedly dropped the broom and pounced on me, hugging me as she took me down to the floor. She hugged me tightly, cutting off air to my lungs. 

''M-Moira! Hey! L-Let go! C-Can't breathe!'' I squirmed as I was crushed under the odd strength off the joyful shopkeeper. Despite my protests, Moira didn't want to let go. In fact, she just hugged me tighter. Christ, I felt like I was some kid's rabbit that died because their owner hugged it too tight. Moments of torturous-hugging later, Moira released me, pulling me back to my feet once she got back onto her own. She just looked at me with hopeful yet sad eyes. Pretty obvious that she wanted an explanation.

''Brady, I...you...you're alive!'' She exclaimed before hugging me again. I've never known a women to be so cuddly... ''How is it even possible?! When Rainbow told me, she was just all mopey-dopey and was I after I heard and...just...I can't even explain how phenomenal this is!''

I held a hand up. ''Hey, it's a long story, Moira. Believe me, I'd really rather not go through it again. The more I talk about it the more I hate myself.'' I thought I should just leave it there. I didn't need to mention the part where I nearly killed Rainbow twice. It may not bother me more than the fact that we weren't actually together anymore. It just scared me. Just thinking and knowing I nearly killed somepony very close to me whom I used to be in a relationship with was nearly killed twice by my hand. 

''You okay?'' Rainbow looked to my eyes, worry evident in her own. ''You're crying.'' 

''Huh?'' I rubbed a hand across my eyes, feeling it wet to the touch of my upper cheek. ''Oh. S-Sorry about that.''

''So,'' Moira coughed into her hand nervously. ''You've been through a lot then?''

''Yeah, I guess you could say that...'' Me and Rainbow exchanged sad expressions before looking back over to Moira. ''...Listen, while it may be nice to see each other again, I needed someone to help me with something. Normally I'd ask Gustavo, but the guy's dead and as for Billy, I think he's still pretty mad at me. That just leaves you, Moira.''

She gasped softly after hearing about Gustavo and she raised a brow as she spoke, almost quizzy-looking. ''But what can I do? It really depends on what you need doing. You best tell me before I tell you if I'm any use or not.''

''Right. Well, you see, it more or less relates to Rainbow. Since she got here, she just wanted to get back home, but instead she stayed with me and we became close. As a friend of hers, I wanted to help her get back home, to Equestria, where she belongs. I promised I'd help her. I just don't know how.''

For a moment, Moira looked frozen, most likely trying to comprehend what I just said. ''I see...'' She said slowly. ''But how could I help you? She's from an alternate universe that we have no idea how far it is from this one. I don't really see a way of getting past this one, Brady, to be honest with you. I couldn't possibly know where to begin helping. And from the sounds of it, neither do you.''

Okay, she's got me there. I don't really know where to go from here. It isn't like a trans-dimentional portal will just fall from the sky or magically appear in front of you that could send you to wherever you wish to go. It just isn't that simple, but I promised Dash I'd help her get home, no matter what the cost is.

''Brady?'' Moira said, snapping me from my thoughts. 

''Huh? What?''

''You zoned out there for a while. Lost in thought?''

''I...um...yeah. I guess so.'' I sighed audibly through my nostrils. ''I don't know if I can actually keep the promise, but I'll do my best. It's all I can do. Especially for Rainbow.''