“Welcome to Ponyville, Josh!” Twilight said happily as the group of six ponies and Spike, complete with the annoyed human boy, walked into the bustling little town, “This is the wonderful place that all us ponies call home. What do you think?”
“I think I need to find a cliff and go jump off it,” Josh said, looking sick to his stomach as he was forced to observe the sight in front of him. The pleasant little burg of a town was filled with small buildings and a ton of ponies trotting here and there. Josh didn’t bother paying much attention to specifics, since he was already revolted and felt incredibly creeped out by the change of scenery.
“I know a few cliffs, if you want to see them,” Rainbow Dash frowned, narrowing her eyes at Josh.
“Rainbow, patience,” Twilight scolded, even though she wasn’t looking too thrilled with Josh’s comments either, “Come on, Josh, we’ll show you where we all live and you’ll see just how amazing our town really is.”
“Please forgive me if I contain my excitement,” Josh sniffed. Once again, Rainbow Dash made a move towards the human, but once more Twilight was forced to stop her.
“Right this way, Josh,” the purple unicorn said calmly, turning and leading the group along. Rainbow Dash gave Josh another dirty look, then flew after her leader, while the other four ponies and dragon did the same thing. Muttering to himself, Josh followed along a good few feet behind.
Through the town, Josh frowned as he realized he was getting a ton of ponies staring at him. He saw several ponies gasp, even more tilt their heads in confusion, and still more quickly grab the nearest pony and whisper something in their ear. Several ponies quickly raced inside a house or small business and slammed the door shut, almost as if they were afraid of the human.
Eventually, a green pony with a horn on her head seemed to snicker while pointing at Josh with her hoof and whispering something to her partner pony, who had curly blue and pink hair. Having had enough of these ponies and their insidious looks, Josh flashed the green unicorn a curious hand gesture, which involved him keeping his middle finger raised while he pulled all the others down. Instead of doing what he intended for it to do, Josh was dismayed when he saw the green unicorn whisper even more to her cohort, which resulted in another outburst of giggling and more pointing and staring.
“Right…how could I forget that these ponies don’t have fingers and therefore they have no idea what the hand gesture I just did was supposed to mean,” Josh sighed, slapping his forehead as he nearly stepped on Spike’s tail due to lack of watching where he was going.
“What did ya’ll just do?” Applejack asked, peering back at Josh and frowning a bit. To honor her wish, the human made the same hand gesture at the cowgirl pony. She looked just as confused as the two female ponies Josh had just seen looked.
“What is that supposed to mean? Is it some kind of symbol?” Rarity asked, peering back curiously and noticing Josh’s hand gesture, “It looks like a little tower, if you ask me.”
“No…in polite terms…the person I point it at basically is me telling them to go jump off a cliff,” Josh said, trying to keep his anger under control.
“Well, that’s not very nice, so put that finger down before I break it,” Rainbow Dash snapped, since she had still been flying overhead and keeping a very close eye on the human.
“Something’s about to be broken and it ain’t going to be my finger,” Josh growled, but put his middle finger down anyway just to appease the Pegasus pony. A moment later, the grouped stopped outside of what seemed like a fence heading into a huge apple orchard, complete with a barn and other obvious farm buildings.
“Joshy boy, this here’s mah farm and mah home, Sweet Apple Acres” Applejack smiled, turning to look at the human boy, “We’re responsible for harvestin’ apples and lots of other tasty treats and sellin’ ‘em to the town folk, not to mention many other things, too. Mah little sister should be around here someplace, if ya’ll want to meet her.”
“E-I-E-I-NO!” Josh mocked, crossing his arms and turning away, “Farms suck! They smell bad and they’re really filthy. Plus, my mother always forced me to eat apples when I didn’t want to, so I don’t have good memories of them.”
“While I agree with the smelling bad and the filthy part, there’s no reason to be rude,” Rarity sniffed.
“HEY!” Applejack snapped, “Ah resent those remarks! Mah farm does NOT smell bad…and it is NOT filthy! Ya’ll take that back!”
“How about I take my foot and show you how far I can kick a pony?” Josh snapped, turning back around and glaring at Applejack. However, before a fight could break out, another little filly came bounding up to the group a moment later. She looked just like Applejack, only with a much lighter body and with a red mane and tail. As soon as she saw Josh, she reacted in almost the same way as the fillies back at the picnic had reacted.
“Big sis…who is that?” the little filly asked, tilting her head as she looked up at Josh. She had a southern accent just like Applejack, and Josh actually didn’t get annoyed with her. He couldn’t really explain it, but something about this little filly made him feel a bit better. She wasn’t jumping at him with too much hyper energy, she wasn’t really asking any stupid questions, she wasn’t acting like an idiot, and Josh honestly thought she had a cute voice.
“Ah, Apple Bloom…this is Josh…he’s a human,” Applejack said calmly, “Josh, this is mah little sister that ah was tellin’ ya’ll about, Apple Bloom.”
“Um…nice to meet you, sweetie,” Josh said, reaching down and gently patting the filly on the head, where she had a bow tied around her hair. This act of kindness instantly shocked and stunned all six of the other ponies and Spike. Apple Bloom didn’t look at all scared of Josh, either. Even though she had no idea what a human was, since Josh had made a good first impression on her, she just smiled and nuzzled his hand back.
“Hi there, Josh, it’s nice to meet ya, too!” Apple Bloom giggled, peering at the human’s hand and tilting her head, “Wow…yer…really different! Ah don’t really know what a ‘human’ is, but ya seem really nice. Are ya friends with mah big sis?”
“Well…I just got here not that long ago, so I can’t say for sure,” Josh said honestly, still patting the little filly and never stopping smiling, “But, I’d like to think so; she’s quite a cool little pony, as are her friends. Right now, they’re giving me a tour of this…town…Ponyville, was it?” Rainbow Dash was about to make a snappy remark, but Twilight quickly shushed her.
“Yup, it’s Ponyville!” Apple Bloom smiled, closing her eyes and slightly wagging her tail as she enjoyed Josh’s patting, “Do ya think ya could come back later and play with me once yer through with yer tour? Ya seem really fun!”
“Sure, I’d like that,” Josh chuckled, gently stroking Apple Bloom’s back a few times before standing back up, “But, we really should get going; we have a lot more places to cover. It was nice meeting you, Apple Bloom. Take care, alright, little sweetie?”
“Nice meetin’ ya too, Joshy,” Apple Bloom said, nodding her head up at the tall human, “Have fun with the rest of yer tour. Oh, and if ya’ll see mah two best friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, make sure to tell them hi from me, ahright?”
“I’ll be sure to do that,” Josh grinned, giving the little filly a little salute before turning around and being the leader for once, “Come on, Twilight; where are we headed next?”
“Uh…uh…right, of course!” Twilight blinked, shaking her head as she quickly followed after the human, the rest of the stunned ponies and Spike doing the same while Apple Bloom waved goodbye to them with her front hoof. As soon as they were all far away from the farm, the group of seven immediately started bombarding Josh with questions.
“What the heck was THAT all about?”
“Were you just acting again?”
“Since when did you turn back into a nice person?”
“Ya’ll weren’t tryin’ to seduce mah sister, were ya?”
“Um…it’s nice to know that you have a nice side, too…”
“Yay, now we can finally have a group hug!”
“I’m watching you, human!”
“Will you all please shut up before I punt you across the stupid town?” Josh snapped, instantly going back to his angry self as he glared at the ponies and dragon, “The only reason I treated that little filly kindly was because she deserved it…and she was a little sweetheart.”
“And WE don’t deserve that same kindness?” Rarity asked.
“Nope, you sure don’t,” Josh sniffed, crossing his arms, “You all are still annoying little horses with wings and horns and big mouths and I still would love to punt you all across a field, if I got the chance.”
“Wow, THAT sure didn’t last long,” Rainbow Dash growled, flying down and getting into Josh’s face, “What is your deal? Why would you treat Apple Bloom differently than us? She’s a pony too, you know.” Josh paused as Rainbow Dash said this, as though thinking about something, but then he just shook his head and pushed Rainbow Dash’s face away from his own.
“That’s none of your business, now hurry up and continue with this stupid tour before I use one of you as a chair,” Josh smirked.
“Try it and see where it gets you,” Spike snapped, flashing his fangs up at the human. After a moment of muttering and complaining from the entire group, Twilight reluctantly led Josh towards the next part of their tour, which was a building that looked to be made of gingerbread and cupcakes.
“This is Sugarcube Corner, where a lot of baked goods are made,” Twilight explained, “And it’s also where Pinkie Pie lives.”
“That’s right!” Pinkie gushed, bouncing up and down and smiling up at Josh, “Would you like some cupcakes?”
“No thanks, little pony who obviously has ADHD or ADD,” Josh sneered, wagging his finger in Pinkie’s face, “If I want some cupcakes, I’ll just take some pieces off the top of this building. Next!”
“What’s ADHD and ADD?” Pinkie asked, as Twilight grumbled and continued on with the tour without letting Josh say anything else rude, “Ooh, ooh, I know! ADHD stands for ‘action decision heavy dose’, right? And ADD stands for ‘alligator dairy date’, right?”
“Please just kill me now,” Josh moaned, trying to plug his ears as Pinkie talked. The next destination was another tall building that looked shiny, stylish, and quite mesmerizing. It gave Josh a headache just looking at it.
“This is Rarity’s Carousel Boutique,” Twilight explained, smiling over at the proud-looking white unicorn next to her, “It’s where she makes a lot of brilliant clothing items for everypony in Ponyville…and sometimes even in other places, too!”
“That’s right, darling,” Rarity smiled, reaching up and gingerly puffing up her mane as she glanced at Josh, “Isn’t it just a lovely place? Would you care to take a look inside?”
“Hmm…well, it looks clean, I’ll give you that,” Josh muttered, “But…in all honesty…the sight of it makes me want to hurl, since the colors are blinding me and it’s way too girly. I feel sorry for any male that has to go in THERE.”
“HEY!” Spike and Rarity both screamed at once, both of them going red in the face, both from anger and embarrassment.
“The truth hurts, don’t it?” Josh snickered, “Besides, the last time I was forced to dress up like a girl was back in middle school, and it was for a play. I didn’t like it at all, and I ended up beating up a random fool on my way home, too, out of sheer frustration and humiliation.”
“…let’s just move on before Rarity does something that you’ll regret,” Twilight grumbled, nudging Josh’s left leg and forcing him to move along. Next, they visited a schoolhouse.
“This is where little ponies go to learn about cutie marks and friendship and everything else!” Pinkie cheered, “Isn’t just an awesome place? Cheerilee is the teacher who works here!”
“Wow…amazing…you little horses actually have a SCHOOL so that you may actually LEARN things? That’s a huge shocker!” Josh gasped, “I think I might need to lie down and rest my head, since this wasn’t something I was expecting at all!”
“Don’t you have ANYTHING nice to say about ANYTHING?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Not really, since this world is beyond girly and pathetic and makes me want to cry,” Josh explained. It wasn’t long before the group quickly decided to move on, just in case any young ponies came out of the school and had to witness a gruesome beating. The next place that was visited was what seemed to be some kind of large home floating on some clouds in the sky, with rainbows shooting out the sides.
“THAT is my home,” Rainbow Dash said smugly, floating in front of Josh and grinning at him, “Pretty amazing, don’t you think?” Josh peered closely at the floating house in the sky, and after a few minutes of constant observing and contemplating, he came up with his decision.
“Even though I still think you ponies are lame and too girly for my tastes, I cannot deny that your home is amazing, Rainbow,” Josh admitted, “It’s pretty cool...it honestly doesn’t even LOOK girly…it looks cool enough for even a male to live in. Are you sure you’re not a les…uh, never mind; that might be pushing it a bit far.”
“What were you about to call me?” Rainbow Dash growled, “A les…what? Tell me!”
“No, no, it doesn’t need to be said…right now,” Josh snickered, “Let’s move on, Twilight; I can’t wait to find something else to mock and get a headache at, since I do so love getting migraines.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Twilight sighed, trotting along again, “We’re almost done for the day.” The second-to-last place that was visited was a small cottage that seemed to be overflowing with nature and animals. Josh got his wish and received another migraine as soon as he saw it.
“Um…this is my place…” Fluttershy spoke up, shyly looking up at Josh, “What…do you think?” Josh peered down at the little Pegasus, and even though he felt slightly bad that he was about to mock her, he just couldn’t help it.
“Frankly, my dear, I’m surprised you don’t live in the middle of a zoo,” he said, “Seriously, are you a nature freak and animal stalker or something?”
“Uh…well…I wouldn’t quite say a freak…or a stalker…but, I do really like nature and animals,” Fluttershy squeaked, “Animals are so very sweet, and I take care of them whenever I can. Plus, being with nature all the time is a lovely experience.”
“Hmm…yeah, well…curse you, Fluttershy,” Josh snapped, “You make it so hard to get mad at you; why can’t you be more brash and annoying like your flying blue friend instead? Then I’d have no trouble teasing you and telling you how lame you are.”
“I’m sorry…I can rage for you…um, if you want,” Fluttershy said, smiling up at Josh and looking hopeful.
“Er…let’s just move on before my face melts from seeing that cute expression your face,” Josh grumbled, “Twilight, let’s please go before your friend drives me insane with her kindness.”
“Kindness goes a long way, Josh,” Twilight grinned, “Maybe I’ll let you hang out with Fluttershy more often and see what happens.”
“Me jumping into a lake or over a cliff is what’ll happen,” Josh whispered. The ponies didn’t hear, so they started heading towards the final stop of the tour. Spike had gotten tired and had climbed on top of Twilight’s back. Josh saw the dragon curled up into a ball on the pony’s back and was sleeping soundly, while Twilight herself trotted slowly along to not wake him. This made the human boy curious.
“In case yer wonderin’, Spike is Twilight’s assistant,” Applejack explained when she caught Josh’s stare, “They’ve been together ever since they were little; they’re quite close.”
“Huh…a dragon and a pony?” Josh blinked, “But…they’re so…different! And, Spike is, like, the ONLY male that I’ve seen around this female-infested world! It’s so weird.”
“Uh…don’t know about that last part, but…who cares what Spike is?” Rainbow Dash asked, “I used to have a best friend who was a griffon; it doesn’t matter who or what you are. Anything can become friends.”
“That’s right!” Pinkie piped up, “Having a lot of friends…big and small, alive and not alive, cute and ugly, pink and not pink, ponies and non-ponies…it all feels so great! It’s a joy to share your love with so many others.”
“What’s the point of sharing love that is meaningless?” Josh argued, crossing his arms and turning away, “Just because someone or something is ‘nice’ to you doesn’t mean they’re your friend. You can never see into a person’s heart, so you therefore never know just who or what they REALLY are. What might be an angel on the outside could very well be a devil on the inside, and vice versa. What good are stupid friends? You can’t ever trust them…the only one you can ever trust is yourself.”
The ponies all glanced back at Josh and stared at him for a long time. The part where he said that someone could be a devil on the outside or inside, but an angel on the opposite place really intrigued them. But, the rest of what the human said really made them a bit sad. They knew that there was something preventing Josh from accepting friends and love, and even though they all found him to be a rude jerk, they wanted to help. As Twilight made it to their final stop, a giant tree library, she was very anxious to get to work on trying to unlock Josh’s heart.