//------------------------------//
// At the Station 
// Story: Kicked 
// by Teq 
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“She’s really sorry you know. For everything she did.” Sweetie nudged Scootaloo’s hoof gently, trying to attract her attention. “You know she’s been really beating herself up about it? She didn’t mean any of the stuff she did.”
“I want to hear her say it herself.” Scootaloo stared down at the floor, occasionally peaking upwards through her fringe to spy on the ponies on the platform opposite. Any minute now, the train would be arriving, and two old friends made bitter towards each other would be reuniting. Scootaloo was understandably nervous. There was a lot to tell and be told, and the train was already about fifteen minutes late as it was. It was a cold day as well, and Scootaloo was snuggled deep into her scarf to shield herself from the harsh elements.

It must have been a good couple of months now since Sweetie had saved Scootaloo (she now preferred to see it as Sweetie saving her), and Scootaloo liked to think that she was on the mend. For a start, her nightmares were subsiding somewhat. They still plagued her intermittently, but they were much less severe and she’d gotten to a point where she could deal with it herself. She was no longer so scared of going outside, and she’d even been out several times in the past few weeks to run some personal errands. She’d been doing a little work around Sweetie’s house to try and earn herself a few bits. She was planning something. Something big that she was keen to keep a secret for a while.

Despite her progress, this moment had been looming over her. When Sweetie had approached her in her room and delivered the news, Scootaloo had never quite managed to settle. But now she was here, and for the first time in a very long time, she was going to have a decent conversation… with Apple Bloom. She had no idea why she was so scared. Apple Bloom had been a very good friend of hers; they’d made many good memories together. But she still struggled to understand why Apple Bloom had done what she’d done. She appreciated that it was her own depression that had driven her away, but she failed to believe that she had also driven her to malice. Apple Bloom was so kind hearted, and it didn’t seem like her at all. That was what today was all about. Apple Bloom had been in Appleloosa for the past few months to help with personnel shortages in the orchards there. Since her filly years, Apple Bloom had developed a powerful pair of hind legs, and could probably kick even harder than her big sister. She’d also grown quite a bit, and now stood quite a bit taller than Scootaloo. She was a strong young mare, and made a formidable opponent to anypony who happened to get on her bad side.

But she was still Apple Bloom, the little filly that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had once been so close to. Well, Sweetie was still close to her, it was just Scootaloo that had drifted away.

Scootaloo was yanked back to attention when there was a loud hiss of compressed air, the brakes on the train squealing as they struggled to bring the locomotive to a stop. This was it, it was time. Except that the engine had come to a stop on the other platform. Ponies got on, ponies got off, there were a few family reunions, some business ponies hurried off before anypony could recognise them, and a few ponies in uniform boarded, bound for Manehattan, according to the destinations board. Also according to the destinations board, this was the train from Las Pegasus, and not Appleloosa, which was apparently still running late. Scootaloo groaned to herself. How long was she going to have to wait?

Sweetie seemed to sense Scootaloo’s dismay, and in an attempt to perk her up, picked up her hoof and led her inside to the station’s café, where she purchased hot drinks and grabbed a table next to the window just as a mother and foal stood up to leave, evidently just realising that it was there train that had pulled up outside. Scootaloo gazed out of the frost covered window pane, cradling the beverage in her hooves and watching as the mother and foal only just managed to make the train in time. It had been a close call though; the whistle had been blown seconds later.

Scootaloo went to sip from the surface of her drink. As she did so, she scrunched her nose up a little and winced slightly. Sweetie smiled, “Sorry. I know de-caff’s not your favourite, but it’s better for you.”
“Mmm. Well, it’s hot. I suppose that’s a good thing.” Scootaloo sipped again, this time fighting the urge to contort her facial features. She stared into the blackish-brown depths, almost getting lost in the abyss before her until Sweetie once again engaged her in conversation.
“How are you feeling?”
“Nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous. I reckon she’s a lot more anxious than you are. She’ll probably want to do most of the talking anyway. You know what she’s like.”

Scootaloo was silent for a moment afterwards. She wasn’t hugely nervous about talking to Apple Bloom about what she’d done. She expected her to do most of the talking in that area. What she was more nervous about was telling her about Sweetie. Scootaloo had never told Apple Bloom (nor Sweetie for that matter) that she was a lesbian, and not long ago Sweetie actually had a coltfriend, so Apple Bloom believed that she was straight. This was going to be a really awkward announcement. Apple Bloom came from a very traditional family, and Scootaloo didn’t know how well she’d take to the idea of two mares being more than just friends. Scootaloo didn’t honestly believe that Apple Bloom would take any particular exception to it, but she couldn’t say for sure. How would it change their social dynamic? Would Apple Bloom feel betrayed? Would she find it awkward, believing that she was just a constant third wheel?

“How do I tell her?”
“How do you tell her what?” Sweetie looked up from a newspaper she’d been reading off the table next to theirs. By the looks of things, she was mentally doing the Sudoku puzzle, but Scootaloo had been made aware of how much Sweetie loathed such number related problems.
“How do I tell her about us? She still doesn’t know that we’re… seeing each other. Does she even know about what happened? Does she…”
“She knows about what happened. She was distraught.”
“How could she know?” Scootaloo raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Had Sweetie been in touch with Apple Bloom this whole time?
“I wrote to her the night after it happened. When she wrote back I could tell that she was horribly upset. She spent about three sides of paper going on about how it was all her fault and so on, and the sheets were still soggy from tears. She’s really sorry about everything that’s happened to you, Scoots, and she believes that it’s all because of her.”
“It’s not all because of her. It’s all because of me.”
“Well that’s not what she thinks. She thinks that she drove you to it. She thinks that this is all her fault. She’s sent me a few letters ever now and again asking how you’re doing, and I just keep telling her that you’re getting better. I haven’t told her about us being an item yet, though. That kind of… slipped my mind I guess.”

Scootaloo sniffed. How was this going to pan out? Should she start the conversation or wait for Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom probably wanted to explain herself first – get her cards laid on the table early. Scootaloo didn’t feel much like explaining herself, so maybe Apple Bloom starting would be a good way of easing her into it. What tact should she take? Despite Apple Bloom’s actions, Scootaloo didn’t want her to feel guilty. She also felt that putting herself down would only make Apple Bloom feel worse about herself. She should just state the facts and leave it at that. Apple Bloom could emotionally interpret it however she chose, but Scootaloo wouldn’t be the one to send her on a guilt trip. It wasn’t her fault, after all. From what Sweetie had told her, Apple Bloom was legitimately upset, so their reunification would probably be an emotional one. Scootaloo was determined not to let her emotions get the better of her, but if she felt the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, she didn’t know if she’d be able to prevent herself from gushing.

Sweetie squeaked excitedly (or was it nervously?) as another train pulled up outside. This time, the train was on their side of the platform. The train’s brakes hissed loudly, and a throng of passengers immediately formed around the various doors to the carriages, desperately waiting for them to open so that they could grab a seat before everypony else. Sweetie hopped up from her seat and made for the door, intent on greeting Apple Bloom and welcoming her back. On her way past, she put a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder. Scootaloo looked at her, staring into her deep, glittering green eyes. A wave of calm washed over her, as always did when she looked into Sweetie’s eyes. They were almost hypnotic, and Scootaloo couldn’t help but feel a sense of clarity fill her mind. Sweetie smiled and kissed her gently before continuing on her way.

Safe and warm behind the glass barrier, Scootaloo waited. Nerves seemed to cling to every fibre of her being, pulling her every which way but one. She’d given up drinking the coffee (she wasn’t an avid coffee drinker anyway) and had settled for just staring out of the window, her hooves clasped shakily in front of her, waiting and watching the platform as ponies began to spill out onto the platform. Sweetie appeared, waiting patiently outside on of the carriages. Soon. Soon she would lay eyes on Apple Bloom for the first time in a long time. For what seemed like days she waited, watching almost as though the world were in slow motion. The line of ponies stepping out of the carriages seemed to move at a glacially slow pace, and Scootaloo silently willed for it to move faster.

The next one. No. The next one. No. Surely the next one must be her. No. Come on, come on, where is she? Now. No. Now! No. She’s got to get off that train any moment now – there can’t be that many ponies left aboard. One, two, three, four. She’s got to be the next one off. No, well then definitely the next one.

Or the next one?

The next one?

Had she not even come?

Where was she?

Was that her? Red mane, pastel yellow fur, orangey eyes, a physical build that would make Sapphire Shores blush, by gosh it was her! It was really her! Scootaloo stared at her as she emerged from the train, saddlebags over her back and a handkerchief tied about her neck. Immediately Scootaloo picked up something in her eyes that wasn’t quite right. She looked concerned. She wasn’t smiling, even when Sweetie ran up to pull her into a strait jacket of a hug, she didn’t smile. She was scanning the platform, likely looking for Scootaloo. Her eyes wandered over the café window. For a brief moment, their eyes met. In the short space of time in which they did, something seemed to snap in Scootaloo. Her own lavender eyes glazed over and she had to turn away to hide her emotion. Childish? Probably, but she still wanted to appear strong. She wanted to look confident, even if she wasn’t.

Scootaloo waited as Sweetie led Apple Bloom round to the café, opening the door to let her inside. Sweetie herself gave Apple Bloom a light pat on the back before closing the door and waiting outside. So this was just going to be Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. There would be no Sweetie Belle to act as the arbiter. They were going to have to talk to each other directly, face to face, without Sweetie there to use as a conduit.

The chair opposite Scootaloo was pulled back, and Apple Bloom fell into it, sitting in silence for a good while. Neither of them spoke. Scootaloo stared down at the table, refusing to look up lest Apple Bloom see her tears. It was perhaps the most tense and awkward silence that Scootaloo had ever endured, but nevertheless, she refused to be the one to initiate conversation. Apple Bloom had apologising to do, and only once Scootaloo had heard her out would she tell her side. There was the clearing of a throat, and then the sound of Apple Bloom talking reached Scootaloo’s ears, “So… how’ve ya been?”
“Fine.”
“You’re doing okay?”
“Yep.”
Apple Bloom tapped the table nervously with her hoof, “Okay, well, I guess I’ll just say what I got to say. I am so, so sorry for everything that I have done. What I did back then was… terrible. It wasn’t me, Scootaloo, it wasn’t who I am. I abandoned you when you needed me most, and then I gave away your secrets to those…” she spent a few moments trying to think of an adequate swear word. “A word strong enough don’t come to mind. And then they made your life difficult. I am the one that drove you to do what you did. I’ve been fighting with my conscience for so long, ever since I found out what happened. I can’t shake the feeling that I caused it all. I can understand if you hate me with every fibre of your body, and if you never want to see me again. I just had to tell you how sorry I am. Should you ever find it within you to forgive me, I would be the most grateful pony alive.”

Scootaloo let this sink in. There were some burning questions that she needed to ask and needed to hear the answers to, but putting them in a suitable order just made her head swim. The train outside pulled off with a loud blast from its whistle, and Scootaloo gazed emptily at it as it began to slowly lurch its way off the platform. Scootaloo sighed, and when she turned back to look at Apple Bloom, she let loose with the first thing that came to her mind to ask, “Why did you betray me?”
“Pardon?”
“Why would you tell them things that I told you in confidence?” Scootaloo said that probably a little more forcefully than she had originally intended. Talking about it was bringing back bad memories, and she could feel her blood beginning to run a little hot in her veins. Apple Bloom sensed Scootaloo’s rising anger, and immediately moved to respond to the question before things went bad.
“I was hoping you’d ask me that. I’m afraid it ain’t as complex as you might like to think, though. Put simply, it was blackmail.”
“Blackmail?” Scootaloo spoke in a lower voice this time, probably a little lower than usual. It was taking a lot of effort to keep herself cool.
“Yes, Scootaloo, blackmail. They had something on me, Scootaloo. I ain’t never told nopony what it is, so how they found out I still don’t know. Heck, I’ve never even told you nor Sweetie ‘bout it. And before you ask, no, I won’t tell you what it is. Let’s just say I did something once which seemed like a good idea at the time and which I immediately regretted. I feel ashamed just thinking about it. Anyway, they found out, and demanded that either I start talking ‘bout you, or they start talking ‘bout me. I reasoned that ya’ll were pretty thick skinned and could probably take what they threw at ya. Honestly, I didn’t expect them to be so cruel. I thought they just wanted dirt on you. I didn’t know they were gonna start telling everypony. Since then I’ve kept my lips sealed.”

Scootaloo took a very deep breathe. She needed to keep calm about this. Her body was slowly filling with fury, but she didn’t even know what it was she was so angry about. Everything at once, maybe? Whatever it was, directionless fury had put her in bad situations before, and she didn’t intend to let her emotions best her again. Once her level head returned to her, she continued, “So you were blackmailed? I suppose I can understand that. So nothing you did was out of malice, right?”
“Nope. I would never deliberately try to hurt you, Scootaloo. I want you to know that.”
“I know that… now. But listen, I can see how sorry you are,” Scootaloo’s own eyes were starting to brim up again, her anger replaced by self-pity. “And I just want to say how sorry I am too.”
“Scootaloo, you don’t have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yes I do. I shouldn’t have tried to push you away. I should’ve been more accepting of your help. I should have known that you would never try to hurt me on purpose. Dammit, I shouldn’t have been so selfish!” Scootaloo struck the table hard, making a pony on a nearby table jump and curse quietly.

Apple Bloom waited patiently. She waited for Scootaloo to relax her tensed muscles and to regulate her breathing. When she was back to a state where she could be reasonably talked to, Apple Bloom spoke, “Scootaloo, you had depression. Your parents had been taken from you and the world seemed to have turned on you too. I can understand why you did what you did. Mostly, anyway. Scootaloo, there’s no need for you to apologise. I am the one that caused everything, not you. I am the one who has the right to be sorry. I shouldn’t have abandoned you when you needed me most. I shouldn’t’ve listened to my big sis!”
“And I should’ve listened to you. You were a good friend, and you just wanted the best for me. I’m sorry I didn’t see that.”
“That’s okay, you were depressed and I should have stuck with you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you.”
“That’s okay, you were blackmailed.”

Apple Bloom chuckled and ran a hoof through her mane nervously. In the doorway of the café she could see Sweetie Belle peering in and watching them through the glass. She vanished briefly as another pony in a black trench coat with a guitar slung over his back walked in past her. Apple Bloom sighed, “Looks like we’re doomed to go round in circles.”
“S’pose.” Scootaloo folded her forelegs in front of her, looking off to one side. Apple Bloom inhaled deeply.
“So… are we still friends?” She waited anxiously for Scootaloo’s response. The orange coated pegasus unfolded her legs and played around with the end of her scarf for a bit. It seemed as though she wasn’t going to reply, and Apple Bloom was prepared to pick up and leave should she not get a positive answer. Scootaloo rested both front hooves on the table, as if bracing herself. She looked into Apple Bloom’s eyes. A strange mix of hope and fear seemed to swirl in their depths. Scootaloo afforded herself the slightest of smiles.
“Yea, we’re still friends.”

There was no phenomenal exchange of emotion. There was no hugging or cheering or dancing on tables. There weren’t even any tears. There was just a quiet, calm understanding. At last, for both parties, closure. It was like sunshine after a hurricane, or rain after a drought. Scootaloo had made peace with her former friend/enemy. It was a strange feeling. In doing so, she felt oddly calmer. It was as though a great burden had been lifted from her, leaving her feeling free and relaxed. There was no anger, no bitterness. She felt completely at ease with herself. It was a nice feeling. She hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Actually, she couldn’t remember when she’d last felt like this. Her desire to scream and shout and curse seemed to have subsided. She still had to tell Apple Bloom about her and Sweetie, but right now that didn’t seem to matter.

As if on cue, Sweetie returned to them, and demanded to know how things were. The three spent a long while catching up with each other. After maybe half an hour, Scootaloo broke the news of her relationship with Sweetie. She didn’t act very tactful about it, just stated it matter of factly when the conversation was beginning to dry up. Apple Bloom was initially surprised, but quickly learnt to accept it. Scootaloo was surprised by how understanding she was. Had she really misjudged her that much? She was her friend, had been for years, she should know by now that Apple Bloom was an understanding filly. Most of the time, anyway. As time started to drag on, the group was forced to part, with Scootaloo returning to the Boutique with Sweetie, feeling mentally relieved.

Maybe now, at last, she could begin to recover.

End.