//------------------------------// // Chapter Two, Part Two // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// “ARE YOU INSANE?” Berry shouted. Lyra's smile only grew wider at the accusation. “Nope!” she said, as cheery as could be. “But-but-but how?!” Berry stuttered. Her face ripe with disbelief and a bit of fear. “Well, first we get a couple of trees, cross them over the tracks like a big X, then we make a stretchy rope out of bark...” as Lyra spoke, Bon-Bon walked onto the tracks and began pacing up and down them. It seemed as if she was feeling them, pausing occasionally to look at something in thought. “...and once the train's almost all the way through, we release the rope and we go flying through the air and BAM! We land right on top of the train!” She finished with a rather smug smile on her face, and her front and back left legs crossed in front of her right legs. If you colored her orange and gave her a cowpony hat, you might almost think it was Applejack standing there. Berry's jaw swung loose. “Are...are you serious?” “Yep!” Lyra cheerily replied. “No, not this time Lyra.” Bon-Bon said. Lyra turned to her and began to pout. Bon-Bon however had her back to her and didn't notice. “We're doing The Jump.” she said as she gave a light kick to one of the rails. Lyra's expression changed on a bit. Once more she was as happy and excited as could be, but then paused. “Do I really have to worry about the spikes again?” she said somewhat apprehensively. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes, “Yes,” she said as she turned around (careful to remember Colgate; she didn't want to flip her out of the carrier by accident), “you do. It's one of the most important parts, remember?” Berry looked between the two thoroughly confused. What in Equestria were they talking about? Jump? Spikes? What exactly did these two have planned, and why did it seem like they'd done this before? “Let's start it back here Lyra, and let's start at a 3 degree angle. I want it to end about...” she took several steps forward. “Here. And I want it to be about a 33 to 35 degree angle here.” She paused, looking along the right side of the track. “And I want two rocks at point 1, four at point 2, and finally I want eight at point 3. You got all that?” She said as she turned once more to face Lyra. “... two at 1, four at 2, and eight at 3. Got it!” she replied. “Good, now help me with these spikes real quick, we don't have much time.” she said, as she bent her head down to the tracks, and with a hard yank, pulled one of the railroad spikes out of the track. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” Berry screamed as she rushed to put an end to Bon-Bon's sudden and apparent (to Berry anyway) madness. Bon-Bon spit the spike to the side, where Lyra caught it with her magic and put it carefully off to the side. “We're taking spikes out.” she said as she lowered her head to another one. “THAT'S INSANE! What if the train jumps the tracks!?” Berry said, stomping a hoof onto the spike Bon-Bon was about to grab. Pausing, Bon-Bon looked at her hoof for a moment. “That's exactly what we want. Now please move your hoof, I need to pull that spike.” She said, as she reached out a foreleg and gently pushed Berry's hoof aside. “Can you at least explain to me what's going to happen? Why are you trying to derail the train?” Berry pleaded. This seemed more and more insane. Yank. Out came another spike, which was also tossed off to the side where it was caught once more by Lyra, and carefully placed next to the other spike. “We're not derailing the train.” Was all Bon-Bon said. Berry looked on helplessly, but she could tell that Bon-Bon would say no more. She looked over to Lyra, who was busy lining up the spikes Bon-Bon pulled out, as well as grabbing the rocks that Bon-Bon had instructed her to grab. Berry watched as the two seemed to work in a practiced harmony. It didn't take long before a nice pile of spikes began to pile up along the side. During that time however, Berry decided to take a quick look around. It struck her as a good idea to take in the surroundings. Behind her lie the Everfree, as dark and foreboding as ever. It even had those weird sounds that came from it from time to time. Which sounds, she relized, had begun to accompany the rather rhythmic progress of the other two. On the other side of the tracks was plains. As far as she could see. At the very edge she thought she could see some distant hills. But that was about all there was. Forest on the one side of the tracks, and plains on the other. She knew that somewhere south of her was Appleloosa, though how far and which direction exactly she couldn't tell. She had been there once, she thought. It was kinda a blur, but she was pretty sure she remembered Buffalo and something about Mild-West dances. Right! The salt! She had gone there for the Salt Block! She had heard that their salt licks packed a mighty fine punch! And where there was punch, there was Berry! That thought made her giggle. She wouldn't mind a bit of punch right about now. She was mighty thirsty. SCREEEEEEE~~~ Her thoughts were interrupted by a terrible noise that make her skin crawl and her ears recoil in pain. In response, she reflexively shut her eyes, and plugged her poor ears with her hooves. The sound continued for several moments then stopped. She then dared to take a peak. Bon-Bon walked out from under a set of bent tracks. One end was still attached to the ground, the other simply ended in the air. Berry blinked. The tracks had been bent upwards, at a gradual slope. She watched as Lyra placed two rocks under the tracks at where the bend began, one under each rail. Then she stacked the four rocks into two piles, and placed them just a little further from the other rocks. Finally, she grabbed the last eight rocks and created two columns that supported the end of the upturned tracks. Then it finally dawned on her. They had turned the track in to a ramp. “W-Wh...” Berry was speechless. She tried to object, but she simply couldn't muster the words to do it. “ARE. YOU. IN-SANE!?!” Berry bellowed. Bon-Bon and Lyra looked over at her with expressions of curiosity, almost as if they couldn't quite figure out what she was talking about. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?” “We bent the track.” Bon-Bon replied in a matter-of-fact kind of voice. “WHY?!” Berry shouted, her booming voice becoming rough from the constant shouting. Bon-Bon simply blinked and looked at her. Lyra, however looked as if something just clicked. “Hey Bon-Bon, I don't think she gets it. I'd guess she hasn't seen a Train Jump before.” Bon-Bon looked back at Lyra then again at Berry, who's face was something between shock, horror, and anger. Then it finally clicked. Berry didn't quite get what was going on, so it makes sense she would be a bit upset. Holding a hoof up, she said, “Alright. Calm down. So this is what's going to happen.” she paused, looking down the tracks to where the train should be coming from. “We don't have much time, so I'll give you the short version. Basically, you, Lyra, and I will all stand on the other side of the ramp. When the train hits it, it's going to fly over our heads. I'm going to reach up and grab the underside, and so will Lyra. We then will both grab you, and then swing ourselves out from under the train before it lands on the tracks again, and in through a window. At which point we will take our seats and pay for our tickets. Any questions?” Berry simply stood there in silence. 'How do you know this is going to work?' 'Where did you learn this?' 'How many times have you done this?!' All of these questions and several more began running through her head, faster then her frozen mouth could respond. Ultimately, two questions finally made their way out. “One: Do you have anything to drink, 'cause I think I might need some for this. And two: Are you sure you were never a commando?” Berry asked. Bon-Bon's hoof smacked with her face with a loud thud. “Yes,” she said with an exasperated voice, “for the millionth time, I've never even been in the military, or served under the Princess, or even seen real action. And no, I don't. That's usually your department Berry.” she paused, looking once more down the tracks. “Train's coming. Everypony in position!” she shouted and headed over to the ramp. A train. They were going to make a train jump a ramp. The very thought of that almost made Berry turn around and head back to Ponyville. After all, there was no way all of this could be real. So she figured she would just leave these two crazy ponies to their insane plan and eventually wake up or something. Perhaps she already had a drink or two dozen and somepony was telling her a great story and she was living it in her drunken mind or something. This was simply too insane to be real. But yet, here she was, staring at an upturned track, and three ponies waiting for her under the ramp. Wait. Three ponies... COLGATE! Berry almost forgot about her and ran to join the other two. “What about Colgate?” she asked as she joined them. She noticed that Lyra's horn was glowing and that her eyes were shut in intense concentration. “She'll be fine. I'll be carrying both of you for the most part. Lyra will be there mostly to make sure we end up going through a window and not the wall.” Bon-Bon responded. “What's she doing?” Berry asked, or rather, started to ask. “Wh-” was about as far as she got when suddenly she heard the train hit the ramp. The sound of the groaning tracks and the sounds of the massive engine drowned out her words. And time seemed to suddenly crawl to all but a stand-still. She watched as Bon-Bon waited for just a moment, watching the front of the train pass overhead. Bon-Bon reached out and grabbed her with one hoof, and reached up and grabbed an axle with the other. Lyra too grabbed both Berry and axle, but also brought to her side the railroad spikes the two of them had pulled out. With a kick from both Lyra and Bon-Bon's back legs, and with the momentum of the train pulling her, Bon-Bon lifted both Berry, and Colgate, out from under the car. The next thing Berry could recall was suddenly finding herself lying in an aisle between several seats in a train car. Looking left and right, she saw ponies of all kinds sitting and staring at her in confusion. Off in the back of the car she could hear a small child. “BEOLD!” the child cried, its voice as adorable could be, “I IS DA GAITH AND POWAPUL TRIKZI! UU HAVE NO CHANCE RADBOW GASH!” She got to her hooves, took another glance around, and saw Bon-Bon sitting in a set of seats next to her as if everything was normal. She had Colgate peacefully leaning up next to her, looking as though she was taking a nap. Berry cleared her throat, smiled sheepishly, and then sat next to Bon-Bon. In the distance, the child continued. It would seem that Rainbow was in for a truly epic battle. “Where's Lyra?” she whispered. “Putting the spikes back in.” She replied, as if such an answer was mundane and perfectly normal. “Huh? How?” Berry asked, even more confused then before. Bon-Bon gave a little tired sigh. “Right, I did slip a little and you did get hit, didn't you?” She said, looking slightly disappointed. Now that she mentioned it, Berry suddenly felt a horrid headache hit her like a … well … like a train. She groaned in pain and leaned back in her seat, holding her head in her hooves. She suddenly wondered if this was how Colgate felt after she got knocked about. If so, suddenly Berry felt very, very sorry for all those Colgate-shaped impressions on her walls. “Wh-ow-at happ-ouch-end?” Berry managed to ask. “Well, the way it normally works is like this: I pull Lyra up, and she uses her magic to both carry the spikes, and to nudge the engine if it looks like it's going to land wrong. I grab the underside of the first passenger car that passes over, and swing up and around and through an open window. Lyra again uses her magic to either open a window or nudge me if I'm just a hoof or so off from one that's already open. As I get into the window, I use the rest of the momentum from the swing-” Bon-Bon's voice was somewhat painful to listen to, as the headache was becoming worse. “Wait. You guys have done this before? How? Ow! When? Why!?” Berry interjected. “-to heave Lyra onto the top of the car.” She continued, practically ignoring Berry. “From there she runs down along the train until the weight of the train presses the rails back down to the ground. Then, she shoots the spikes back into the spots where we pulled them out from. By the time she's done, it looks like nothing ever happened to the tracks.” Bon-Bon's voice had the sound of somepony who'd explained this sort of thing over and over and over again. It was clear that both of them had done this several times before. Now, Berry was no physicist, but that all seemed like a bit of a stretch. “That...ow...doesn't makes sense...” Bon-Bon shrugged. “That's how it works. In speaking of which...” she turned to the window and opened it, and with a motion smoother then silk, Lyra slid in and sat next to Berry as if nothing had happened. “Hey guys. The ticket pony come by yet?” she asked, sounding somewhat winded. “Not yet.” Bon-Bon said. “Ah rats. I'm gonna have to pay again an't I?” Lyra's face dropped. Bon-Bon simply nodded. “Oh well.” Lyra shrugged. “Could be worse I suppose.” Berry found herself very confused by all of this. She needed a drink, stat. Almost on cue, the doors to in the back of the car slid open, and they head a clear voice call, “Tickets Please!” Looking up, Berry could see a train worker making her way up the aisle. She had on a simple uniform. Blue hat with yellow trim, and a nice jacket that had the same colors. In a pocket on the front she could see tickets poking out in a neat and orderly way. As she made her way up the aisle, she punched holes in passenger's tickets and occasionally pulled out a ticket, handed it to a passenger, and then collected their bits in a nice sack she kept attached to her side. As she made her way to the seats where Bon-Bon, Lyra, Berry, and Sleepygate all sat, she gave a pleasantly cheery smile and said, “Tickets Please!” “We're buying them here.” Lyra said, producing a few bits. “Where're you headed?” she asked, as she pulled out four tickets. “Dodge Junction.” Lyra said. “Is this all together?” The ticket pony asked. Lyra sighed, “Yeah...” The train pony punched a few holes in the tickets and handed them to Lyra, who took them and handed the bits over. Taking the bits, the Ticket pony placed them in her little sack and turned around to the other set of seats. “Tickets Please!” she said once more. Lyra grumbled a little. “Yeah, jumping a train is a ton of fun, but stallion does it take a lot of work! Not to mention I usually have pick up the bill.” Bon-Bon gave her a look, as if to remind her of something. “Look, I'm not complaining, I'm just … uh … talking. Yeah.” she seemed suddenly a bit sheepish. Berry would have pried further into this, but her head was in no shape for taking in information. Booze, yes. Information, no. Seeing as how that wasn't a possibility, the only choice she had left was to sink into her seat and moan with pain. The train made its way along the tracks quite nicely. Making a fine pace, it seemed much like any other run along the rough and tumble frontier of Equestria. Hour after hour passed peacefully. And that's exactly what made the train crew begin to feel nervous. Normally, by this point, they would have had a run-in with something. Perhaps a stray critter (or monster for that matter) from the Everfree, or perhaps an irate Buffalo, or at worse … Bandits. So the fact that nothing had happened as the tracks began to pull away from the Everfree and head into solid plains, put the entire crew on edge. It wouldn't be long until the plains would give way to dried dirt. And if nothing happened by then... And still the train went on. Hour after peaceful hour. The grass began to thin, and soon it would disappear all together. The conductor began pacing back and forth, stopping occasionally to look ahead or from side to side, as if expecting something to jump out at any second. This of course did little to help calm the nerves of the other crew members, who too began looking and pacing about. The last of the grass finally vanished, and now all that lay around them was dusty dirt. It would be just under an hour before they reached Dodge. It was killing them. Why hadn't anything happened yet? Where was the trouble? There was always trouble on this route. Where was it!? It would be just about 30 minutes until they reached Dodge. “AAHH!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” The conductor shouted. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE TERRIBLE SUSPENSE ST-” BOOM A loud explosion from ahead of the train blew dust high into the air and cut the conductor's cries off. The air around it filled with dust and smoke. If the train went in there, they wouldn't be able to see more then a few hooves in front of them! Pity it is that train tracks only go one direction (well, ok, two, but that's not the point!). And so, directly into the thick cloud the train went, causing dust to fill the engine car. It all but blinded the crew. The dust quickly filled the fuel room as well, blinding the poor coal-shoveling pony (as if their lot in life wasn't bad enough). Several more explosions went off along the tracks, all of them ahead of the engine. The dust got thicker and more and more of the train became swallowed by the cloud. The crew could hear the cries of the poor hapless passengers as the dust began to fill the cars. Needless to say, all of this only made poor Berry's headache worse. The three of them began to cough as dust filled their lungs. Bon-Bon reached to shut the window, but was suddenly stopped. Peering through the dust to see why, she saw a set of talons holding it open. Then there was a face. Though part of it was wrapped in a cloth, it was unmistakably a griffin. “Oh no no no! You can't close this! I need in!” It said, as it slid the window open to its fullest. Reaching a talon out to a very surprised Bon-Bon, it pushed her aside (knocking her over the back of her seat) and looked around. Lyra, reacting somewhat quickly began to focus on her horn. “Nope, none of that!” the griffon said. In one smooth movement, almost too fast to see, it produced a small cloth that it threw on her horn. The glow of her magic suddenly disappeared. Her eyes shot open for a moment then went blank as she fell to the side. She was out like a light. It then darted its eyes around the car, clearly looking for something. “Rats! Well, don't want to leave empty clawed I guess.” It looked down at Berry, then over at the still sleeping Colgate. “This'll work!” it said with excited eyes as it reached out and grabbed her, and with surprising strength, lifted her up and out through the window. “Ta ta!” it said as it made its way out of the window and out of sight. “COLGATE!” Berry shouted. Then stumbled. Between her being unable to breath, and the fact that her head was splitting in two (or it sure felt like it) she found herself unable to keep her balance. If only she had a drink! If only... **tink** She heard a soft sound nest to her. It sounded like the sound of glass hitting the floor. She looked over. She saw a bottle. But it wasn't any bottle. It was that that bottle. Berry paused. What should she do? She had made a promise. But it looked like she was the only one who could do anything. Wha-her thoughts were suddenly ripped asunder by pain. Tears in her eyes, she looked down at it again. She paused. Then she reached out, and grabbed it...