//------------------------------// // Magic, snort-snort // Story: On the Corner of Straight and Narrow // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Trixie yawned hugely as she awoke the following morning, arching her back like a cat as she stretched. She gently positioned her teddy bear, Major Ursa, by her new Daddy's pillow. Hopping down from the bed she kicked the coatrack lightly. Her hat and cloak fell from it, and she deftly caught them on her head and back respectively, hooking the cloak behind the clasp. That would have to do for today, as neither her Daddy nor her Uncle were visible to give her a proper bath. Idly wondering where they were, she left the bedroom and headed up the stairs to check the office. "You broke the dartboard again, Max," Sam was saying calmly. "But you said it was good to get a bullseye!" Max replied. "With darts, not bullets." "Well, if the station gave us back our darts-" "Daddy!" Trixie interrupted. "Twixie is hungry!" Sam chuckled as Max scooped Trixie into a morning hug. "Well, we need to head down to Bosco's anyway to get a new dartboard. Might as well pick up some food for Trixie while we're out." "Think Bosco will have something she can eat?" Max asked as he set Trixie down after she nuzzled his chin. "I'd rather find something I'd trust to put into her stomach," Sam pointed out. "She's just a filly, after all." "So...Stinky's then?" Max asked. Sam thought about that for a bit. "Let's see what Bosco has, shall we?" Trixie didn't fully understand what they were talking about, so she stamped her hoof. "The Gweat and Powaful Twixie demands food!" she proclaimed, her horn sparking slightly from her vehemence. Sam blinked. "Trixie, why are sparks coming from your horn?" "Maybe she's an electric type!" Max suggested. "Quick, Sam, get a Thunder Stone!" Trixie harrumphed. "The Gweat and Powaful Twixie will answer questions after Twixie gets food!" "Alright, alright," Sam sighed, donning his hat. "Come on, let's go hit Bosco's." "Hit his what?" Max asked quickly, only to get an eye roll from Sam and a giggle from Trixie. As the three entered Bosco's Inconvenience, Trixie glanced around. The first thing she noticed was that everything on the shelves was under lock and chain, not to mention looking rather unsightly. At her eye level by the register were several magazines that would have been inappropriate for one her age if any of the things they discussed made sense to her. She could not understand the appeal of the coverart on 'Playbunny Monthly', and 'Internal Organs Weekly' was beyond her child level comprehension. "Oh great, it's you two!" a voice proclaimed. Trixie looked up towards the voice. She saw a somewhat overweight human male with purple/brown skin, purple hair, eyebrows, and beard, bald on top, with tiny black eyes and a furtive frown on his face. He was wearing a yellow t shirt with green edges at neckline and sleeve edge, with a nametag that read 'Bosco' on the left breast. She could not see behind the counter he was standing behind to see if he was wearing pants. "What do you two want-" he started to say, then gasped as he saw Trixie. "Oh no! It's a Faustian Beast(1)! They sent her after me! I ain't going nowhere! Keep her away! Don't let her get me!" Trixie scoffed. "The Gweat and Powahful Twixie works for no one! She does not get, others get for the Gweat and Powahful Twixie!" The man - Bosco, Trixie presumed - took another look at her. "Gawd, she's adorable!" he proclaimed, leaning over to pet her. "So what can I 'get' for you, oh Great and Powerful One?" He gave a playful bow. Trixie thought for a time. "...can Twixie have some candy?" Bosco chuckled. "Here you go," he said, unwrapping a lollipop for her and holding it out. Trixie eagerly caught the sucker in her mouth and yanked it out of his grip, holding the stick with both forehooves as she sat back to suck on it. Sam cleared his throat. "Bosco, we want to buy something." Bosco turned back to the canid. "Whadda ya want?" he slurred. Sam tapped his chin. "Do you have any...parsnips in the shape of famous evangelists?" "Nope!" Bosco replied. Sam continued his inquiry. "Do you have any...polka dot rutabagas?" "Nope!" "Do you have any...varsity track and field trophies?" "Nope!" "I bet he doesn't!" Max cracked. "I could still whoop your fluffy butt any day of the week!" Bosco countered. "Bring it on!" Max responded eagerly, getting into a boxing pose. Sighing, Sam continued. "Do you have any..." "Bwack markers, blank cardboard, and a bottle of thumbtacks?" Trixie asked suddenly. Bosco blinked. "Yeah, I do have those." Reaching behind the counter, he handed them over to her. She accepted them. "Gonna play outside!" she said to Sam and Max. Lighting up her horn, she levitated the objects out the door. "How'd she do that?" Bosco demanded in shock. "No idea," Sam replied. "She refuses to answer questions until she gets fed." "So we came down for food for her," Max continued. "And a new dartboard." "Well why didn't you say so?" Bosco demanded. "I have just what you need behind the counter! And it's all yours for $1000." "A thousand bucks for filly food and a dartboard?" Sam demanded. "That's highway robbery!" "And we should know!" Max added. "It's how we pay for most of the stuff we buy from you!" "$1000," Bosco affirmed. "Take it or leave it." Sam looked down at Max. "Guess we'd better go write up some tickets then." "Guess so-" Max began, only to stop as Trixie came back in. "Hey Trixie, have fun playing?" "Trixie had fun," she replies, idly brushing her mussed up mane with the hoof that wasn't stained with black ink. She then looked up at Sam. "Where is food?" "We need to go get $1000 to pay for it," Sam pointed out. Frowning, Trixie pulled her hat off. Reaching inside, she pulled out a bundle of 50 $20 bills. "Is this the wight amount?" Sam and Max both stared. Bosco counted the money. "Yup, that's right," he said. Reaching behind the counter, he pulled out a massive box of canned, organic, vegetarian baby food, along with an equally sized box of canned, organic, vegetarian toddler food with whole pieces of vegetables and fruit. "These ought to hold her until she's on solid food with a full mouth of teeth, and by then she should be able to eat anything you serve her." He placed a dartboard on top. "I'll even throw in a box of darts, free of charge since you had the money so quick." Sam and Max each took one of the crates. "Thanks Bosco!" Sam said, grunting under the weight. Trixie, for her part, levitated the dartboard and box of darts. "Don't ever say Bosco Tech never gave your money's worth!" Bosco called after them. "But don't tell anyone I'm here!" "Say Trixie," Max grunted as he carried the crate, "how'd you get all that money?" "Twixie plays gooder,(2)" Trixie pointed out, as though it explained everything. Sam rolled his eyes. "We'll talk back at the office." Back at the office, Trixie refused to answer more questions until she had been fed. Once she had been fed, she smiled happily. "So...what wisdom can the Gweat and Powahful Twixie dispense unto you mewe mowtals?" she offered expansively, causing Max to let off a happy cackle. "Why was your horn sparking earlier?" Sam asked. "And how did you levitate those things Bosco gave you?" Trixie rolled her eyes. "Magic," she stated, as though it explained everything. Max, for his part, followed that up by snorting twice, which made Trixie giggle. Sam blinked. "Wait...you can use magic? How? Why?" Trixie stared at him flat eyed. "Because the Gweat and Powahful Twixie is a unicown," she stated. "She thought that had been obvious." She flicked her mane back to more prominently display her horn. As she did, she energized her magic to fling one of the darts at the dartboard...only for it to miss, ricochet off the wall, bounce off the edge of the water tank, and nearly impale the fish inside. "Twixie meant to do that!" Trixie insisted quickly. The fish - who Trixie would later learn was named Mr. Spatula - glared spitefully at her. Max grinned widely. "Oh, we're going to have so much fun!"