“Blue eyes?” MARE repeated after Joe told him what happened at Twilight Beach. The old, steel blue stallion puffed away at his pipe, filling the lavishly furnished office with sweet smoke. He stared out the massive window that overlooked the noble’s quarters of Canterlot while twiddling his bleach white mustache. Joe stood on the other side of the heavy desk with depictions of war carved into its relief. Above MARE was a life sized painting of Princess Celestia, regaled in ceremonial armor proudly rampant before a large, rising sun.
“Yeah,” Joe confirmed to old boss, “the whites of her eyes had turned blue and her pupils were just thin slits like a Dragons’. They were the same kind of eyes that Princess Luna possessed back when she was Nightmare Moon.”
MARE’s scruffy eyebrows were more furrowed than usual. Joe was worried that the head of Mane6 would dismiss his report, but he could see that MARE was taking this information dreadfully serious. Not only did MARE believe his story, it worried him.
“What could this mean?” he pondered to his reflection in the window. Joe, weighed down by the awkward heaviness of MARE’s dread, felt compelled to at least try to answer the question.
“Autopsy shows she died of critical heart failure brought about by over-stimulation of the brain’s fear receptors. She literally died of fright.”
MARE’s scowl darkened further. “Who would be able to do such a thing?”
Joe recalled the familiar laughter he heard in the nightmare and the image of a deep purple Pegasus came to his mind. “I have a pretty good idea of who might be responsible.” Joe’s words must have been more terse than he had hoped because MARE turned in his plush leather chair and stared him down with fiery eyes. He removed his pipe from his mouth-- never a good sign.
“This isn't a personal vendetta, Con Mane.” MARE growled, “It’s an assignment like any other. An assignment from a different Princess, but an assignment all the same. Princess Luna ordered you to observe Captain Nightfeather, not mess with his mare. Now he’ll be returning to his home in Cloudsdale in the New Lunar Republic. We’ll have one of our Pegasus agents take over. Your job is done here. I suggest you do what you have been constantly trying to do for the past five months and return to your little donut shop,”
A colony of ants itched underneath Joe’s skin throughout MARE’s lecture and that last statement brought the enraged hive to the surface. “Ok, I screwed up, MARE, I get it! But I can do this. I’d be more than willing to take on this job if I knew what the heck it was about!”
MARE shouldered the lack of professionalism and returned his pipe. His expression remained as stale as ever. He opened up a black folder that sat on his desk. The color meant that it contained the most classified of Equestrian Information. Each one of those folders were sealed with a spell that only a select few could undo and each folder was marked with the simple deterrent of ‘Eyes Only’.
MARE tilted up the folder to prevent Joe’s prying eye and studied the contents intently. “What do you know about Nightmare Moon?” he asked.
Joe felt a chill run up his spine. He of course remembered the recent return of Nightmare Moon during the Summer Sun Celebration. By that time he had already left Mane6 and was running the donut shop, so he could only imagine how much of a panic it caused in the halls of Mane6.
“Well,” Joe began, “After the original members of the Lunar Intelligence Agency were exiled and started forming the beginnings of the New Lunar Republic, Princess Luna transformed into Nightmare Moon, but Celestia banished her to the moon. When this happened, the Elements of Harmony that protected Equestria lost their power. Nightmare Moon came back, but turned good again from the love of her followers. That’s when she took over as Princess of the NLR.”
“Princess Luna is coming here to Canterlot to speak with her sister, and then she’ll be having dinner with me. You’ll be there as well. Meet me here at seven. Black tie.”
The simplicity of the orders caught Joe by surprise. He was just asked to meet with the Princess of the Moon herself. A cocktail of nerves and excitement bubbled in his brain. He stammered to find the right words to express himself. He at first aimed for a rare display of politeness and appreciation but the only words that he could get out were, “You got it.”
MARE looked down at his paperwork and scribbled away with his feather quill. Joe knew that this meant the meeting was over.
Joe trotted out of the office through a thick, heavy door that was padded with top quality leather upholstery and found himself in the far smaller and more welcoming office of MARE’s secretariat, Miss Raven. As always, she sat behind her corner desk obscured by a mountain of paper work that, despite her special talent of being able to hoof write an entire page a second, never seemed to get any smaller. She stopped her endless work as Joe came in and looked up at him through a pair of black rimmed spectacles. She absentmindedly patted at her black, albeit graying, beehive of a mane. She rested her chin on her hoof near a red cravat that she wore around her collar against her white, also graying, coat. Joe could already see what dreams she was formulating in her mind.
“And what do you know about dreams, Miss Raven?” he asked her.
“Only the kind I have every night. A handsome Unicorn with a well coiffed mane carrying me into the sunset.”
Joe smiled at once again being able to enjoy another fruitful conversation with the lonely secretariat. “One of these days we really must look into that.” he mocked her.
“How about tonight? You come over for dinner and I’ll make you a nice angel cake.”
Joe leaned a hoof against her desk and smiled at her. “Well nothing would make me happier, only I have a… business arrangement.”
Raven tutted and returned to her boring paperwork. “That’s the flimsiest excuse you've ever given me.” she complained, “Oh well, some fillies have all the luck. So tell me, Joe? Who is she?”
The intercom on the desk buzzed and MARE’s voice came through the speaker, “She is me, Miss Raven. As well as Princess Luna. And kindly omit the customary byplay with Con Mane. He’s dining with me tonight and I don’t want him to be late.”
The intercom clicked off and Joe couldn't help but wonder if MARE kept his channel on and listened into the room at all times.
“So there’s hope for me yet.” Miss Raven pined.
“Raven,” Joe pretended to be hurt and placed a hoof on his heart, “won’t you ever believe me?”
After washing up at the donut shop, Joe put on a freshly pressed suit and a long black tie which he despised over the simpler, more practical style of a bow-tie. Out of spite, he didn't tuck the tie in and allowed it to hang over the rest of the suit. Within an hour, he was back within the white painted, stained glass halls of Canterlot Castle. Joe forwent the nondescript double doors of the Mane6 offices and instead proceeded to the royal drawing room. The large room was built around a long, pure oak dining table which could easily sit at least a dozen delegates.
The ancient creak of the door as Joe entered drew the attention of the two ponies already within the room and sat at the far side of the table. One of the ponies was MARE dressed in fancy dress similar to Joe. Joe was actually partially surprised that MARE had not instead chose to dress himself in military regalia and the numerous accolades he had achieved in his long tenure in active service.
The other pony was far more interesting. Although Joe and this pony had never met, Joe immediately knew who it was. She was larger than a typical pony. Not so much as the imposing, lanky figure that was Celestia, but just as dominating in her presence. Her coat was dark blue, but it wasn't just any old blue. Her hue seemed more pure and correct. This blue reflected the swirling shades of light and darkness of the night sky; the color of the sky the sleeper would see through the slits of their eyelids as they lulled off into a dream. The color was so perfect, so ethereal, that Joe was unsure as to whether this figure was truly real, or a figment of his imagination.
The mystical nature of the pony was only emphasized by her impossible mane. It flowed and shimmered on its own accord. The translucent night sky itself seemed attached her head and danced around in a soothing, almost hypnotic, fashion. Even the stars twinkled within the depths of her mysterious mane. Ceremonial armor adorned her body as well as an ebony black crown that sat behind a horn, longer and pointier than any typical Unicorn’s. She had wings as well-- large, full wings were folded on her sides; their thickness rivaled even the plush down of that filly, Flitter. The tip of the wings met at a complex patch of black fur that covered her firm, curved flank. The crescent moon Cutie Mark seemed just as bright at the actual thing.
Joe had always appreciated the female form. He had enjoyed the company some of the most beautiful fillies a stallion could ask for. But this. This was beauty that Joe could not have prepared form. And as this unparalleled goddess of perfect form stared straight at him, Joe found himself lost in her cyan eyes of a dream; both welcoming and frightening.
Joe was struck silent. He was in the presence of an Alicorn Princess, and his body, mind and heart reveled in her presence. It wasn't love he was feeling, nor was it lust, but pure adoration.
“It’s about time you showed up.” MARE growled over a plate of various sandwiches. “This is Princess Luna.”
Joe blinked with lips struck dumb. The introduction was normal, so devoid of ceremony, that Joe simply stared forward and said nothing. Princess Luna made the move and rose from her chair to approach Joe. “Greetings, Donut Joe.” she spoke, “It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Her voice was as fluid and florescent as her mane. It tickled his ear pleasantly. Despite her regal size, Princess Luna’s mouth was comparatively small. Her crystal blue eyes continued to star at Joe and her tiny smile faded into a concerned frown. Joe realized that it was his turn to speak. He cleared his throat and refocused his mind. He reminded himself of why he was there.
“The pleasure’s all mine, Princess Luna.” Joe said politely. He did not bow nor kiss her hoof or anything silly of the sort. Joe hated ceremony and thought of it as simply a wasteful acknowledgement of a caste system that was already apparent. Joe sat at the conference table across from Luna’s seat so that MARE, who sat at the head, was between them both. When Luna reclaimed her seat, she wasted no time in getting to her point. Joe respected this Princess’ disregard for trivialities.
“As you know,” She stated clearly and concisely, “as Princess of the Night, it is our duty to enter the dreams of ponies and watch over them, preventing nightmares from occurring. But alas, we have found entering the Dreamscape to be difficult as of late.”
Joe spread some strawberry jelly onto a toasted slice of sourdough. “Difficult?”
“Normally, entering the Dreamscape is as natural for us as breathing. Once there, we can meld into the dream river that flows from the Dream Tree-- the source of dreams for all ponies-- allowing us to exist in every dream at once.” Luna paused to see if either Joe or MARE needed further clarification. Joe crunched silently on his toast and MARE puffed at his pipe so Luna continued, “Lately, however, the very river itself seems as though to impede our entry. Nay… It feels as if some malevolent force is denying us. And with each night, it becomes increasingly difficult to overcome the blockade.”
Joe helped himself to another rather disappointing muffin. He guessed it was a batch indifferently baked with a heavy overdose of hazelnut. “And you think your own military captain is behind it?” he asked dryly.
Luna held her head low. “For anypony else besides us to enter the Dreamscape should be an impossibility. Only a pony of great power and cunning could achieve such a feat. Whenever we fail to enter the river, we see the face of our beloved Captain Nightfeather, laughing a most demonic laugh.”
A chill down Joe’s spine kept him from chewing his meal. Joe’s memories instantly jumped to his hotel room in Twilight Beach. He recalled the horrible laughter that permeated his nightmare, and that disturbing shadow creature. “That sounds eerily familiar.” Joe stated mostly to himself.
“We fear that these visions may be a premonition for a great evil that is to come!”
The fear on the Princess’ face was real; Joe could see that. He scratched the chin of his overly round muzzle and went over in his mind everything that Luna told him. “Ok, but why are you telling me all of this.”
“Nightfeather is the most valiant hero the NLR has ever known.” Joe could sense the strain in Luna’s voice. She, herself, was struggling to believe her own words. “His influence spreads beyond just that of the Lunar Guard. He is very rich and very powerful. As much as it pains our heart to say this, we cannot trust our own guard. Which is why I turned to my beloved sister. She told me of your courage and heart, Donut Joe. That is why we believe that thou art the only one who can answer our plight.”
Before Joe could respond to the unwanted praise, MARE piped in. “But why would Captain Nightfeather invade the Dreamscape? And for that matter, how could he?”
Luna responded, “That is what we must ask you to discover. Apart from being the Captain of the Lunar Guard, Nightfeather poses… nay, that is not quite fair… IS, among his many other interests, a brilliant scientist. He is legally entitled to conduct private scientific and magical research. If he doth have the means to enter the Dreamscape, we must discover how and to what ends!” Luna excused herself from the chair and paced the length of the table. Joe’s eyes remained fixated on her gallant form. She then spoke sadness so deep, that Joe felt like he could drown in the flood of despair. “That unfortunate filly who died in your presence… Her eyes… She was indeed exposed to the Nightmare Forces that at one point had transformed me into the wicked mare of darkness, Nightmare Moon. Though the evil was dispelled, I fear that it still exists. The death that the unfortunate soul suffered could only have occurred within the Dreamscape-- within her own dreams. If the Nightmare Forces are indeed within the Dreamscape, I fear what fate may befall all ponies.” She turned and looked back to the stallions at the table. Her expression was resolute like a leader, but could see the torment behind her brilliant eyes. Joe fought against a twinge of compulsion to pity and coddle her.
Joe finished off a frosted croissant. “I think I oughta meet this Nightfeather socially.”
“And so do we, Donut Joe.”
“Nightfeather,” said MARE, “is hosting a wealthy garden party at a social club in Coltlumbia, The New Lunar Republic’s capital city. The Princess will see to it that you end up on the guest list. Get together with Nightfeather, and see if you can’t get to talking about business. Nightfeather’s kind of business.”
Joe contemplated the scenario in his head. He had attended Grand Galloping Galas and Fancy Pants’ garden parties in the past, and he knew what sort of ponies attended such events. The unashamedly superior who would quickly change all of their political viewpoints at a mere word from a very important pony just to stay within their good graces. “I’m gonna need some bait to draw him out.”
“We agree.” Luna said, “and so a gift we bequeath upon thee.” Luna charged her massive horn. From out of nowhere, an object appeared before Luna in a flash of light and levitated in front of her. “This is a sacred treasure of our republic and the only one that exists in the world. However, if it will aid thy purpose, thou may have it.” The object was a small necklace adorned with a large sapphire pendant. “This is the Lucid Dream Crystal, a magical crystal that allows the sleeper to control their dreams completely. Nightfeather has desired this treasure for many moons. We shall say that the gem was stolen from our vault. Use it as thou see fit.”
Luna landed the pendant on the table in front of Joe. Its faint blue light sparkled in Joe’s emerald eyes.”So I can have any dream I want?” Joe mused, “Oh, do I have some ideas for this…”
Joe reached his hoof out to grab the pendant but it was quickly swept away by MARE. “you’ll draw it from The Doctor along with the rest of your equipment. In the morning!” he quickly added. Joe pleasantly glanced at the old killjoy.
Pleasantries and formalities were exchanged between MARE and Princess Luna as she prepared to make her exit. Joe settled with a nod of the head and a friendly farewell. Even after Luna left the conference room, Joe could still see her luminescent beauty in his mind’s eye.
“So what do you make of Princess Luna?” MARE asked.
“She certainly is pretty. I don’t like her. She reminds me of her.”
“Yes.” MARE said into his pipe, “I know.”
The next morning, Joe returned to Canterlot Castle. The instructions given to Joe were clear, but ridiculous. Joe was told to search the hallways and rooms of the castle between the library and the ballroom until he found a tall, cramped, blue wooden box conspicuously sitting in the middle of one of these random corridors. Joe had been expecting to meet that morning with The Doctor, Mane6’s newest scientific adviser who had just recently signed into the service a few months, ago and Joe was told that The Doctor had finally gotten his state of the art laboratory fully operational. But what, Joe complained to himself, did that have to do with playing hide and seek with some random blue box? After near an hour of searching, Joe was beginning to think that his endeavors were in vain until he turned one last corner and saw, situated between two restroom doors, was, in fact, a seven hoof tall wooden shed painted a shocking blue.
The shed was indeed cramped looking. It looked like only one fully sized pony could potentially fit comfortably inside. The entire construct reminded Joe of an old fashioned style of phone booth which, upon further inspection, Joe realized that’s exactly what it was. The booth had two doors that, to Joe’s surprise, were backwards on their hinges so that the doors swung into the box which would take up even more room and make it difficult for any unfortunate pony inside to get out. Joe jostled the simple handle on the door but it would not open either way. Joe finally found his elusive box, but it was locked.
Joe knocked loudly on the door and shouted into the wood. “Hello? Doctor? I’m here to pick up my equipment? ” He looked up and down the castle corridor in hopes that nopony was watching him. “The heck am I doing? I’m such a schmuck.”
Joe was just about to obey his better judgment and leave when he heard a loud bang from behind the blue doors. Joe put his ear closer to the door and heard a muffled voice.
“Huh? What? Oh! Con Mane! I almost forgot about you. Hold on a tick and let me open the doors.”
Joe heard the click of the lock and one of the doors of the box opened inward. An Earth Pony with a brown coat, a dark brown man and wearing a green neck tie stuck his head out. In his mouth, he held a small metal tool, the end of which was a glowing blue light.
“Come on in, don’t be shy” The Doctor said through his clenched teeth before disappearing back into the cramped box and leaving the door ajar.
Joe stood out in the castle hallway and blinked in confusion. “Doctor, you don’t honestly expect me to squeeze with you inside that little...” Joe put hoof on the door and slowly pushed it wide open. “Mother of maple bars…”
When the doors opened, they did not lead into a small hoof by hoof closet with a few tools hanging on the wall. Instead, beyond the threshold was an entire room about half the size of the royal ballroom. The ceiling within towered higher above Joe’s head than the hallway outside. Joe peeked his head in the impossible room and the walls stretched out far beyond the definitions of the blue box. The situation made Joe’s head dizzy. He went back outside and examined all around the peculiar box. He knocked on the wood. It was definitely wood. He looked behind the box and there was only a tin crack of space in between the back of the box and the corridor wall, on the other side of which was a pair of bathrooms. But when Joe went back inside the box, he was back in the gigantic chamber.
The walls, spread far and tall, were made out of a dark, brass looking metal. The floor was made out of a metal grating through which could be seen a tangled mess of wires and glowing lights. In the very center of the room was a tall, glass column with some sort of device encased within. At the base of the column was a six sided console decorated with tiny light and buttons and a mish-mash of anachronistic keyboards, various levers and even what looked to be a bicycle pedal welded into the wiring. The Doctor was frantically checking meters and turning dials on all sides of the console. Joe stood in the open door frame with his mouth agape.
“Don’t just stand there.” said the busy Doctor, “you’re letting all the cold air out. Come in. Come in.”
Joe stepped fully into the console room and attempted to take in the massive construct. Once he was inside, the double doors closed behind him. “But this is…” Joe stuttered, “I don’t understand-- how could this… It’s bigger on the inside.”
The Doctor stopped his frantic work and admired the massive construct. “Really? I hadn't noticed. Well, now that you’re here, you can take a gander at what I've been able to cook up for you. Would it be vain to say I've outdone myself?”
Joe tried to shake the muddle out of his head and stopped The Doctor’s blabbing with a hoof. “Hold on! I’m still trying to wrap my head around this… What is this place?”
“What? It’s my lab, what do you think it is?” The Doctor raised his hooves proudly, “The nerve center of Mane6’s technological feats-- all of which invented by me at some point in the past or future.”
The explanation did little to placate Joe’s curiosity and so he decided to drop the idea. “So.” Joe approached The Doctor by the humming console. “What do you got for me, doc? A new watch?”
“Watch!?” The Doctor twisted his muzzle in disgust. “Oh please, who wears watches anymore? They’re all round and they tell time in order, no fun at all.” Joe tugged down the sleeve of his shirt to hide the watch wrapped around his hooves. He wondered if the Doctor would care to hear that the watch had already helped Joe out of several tight situations. “Instead you’ll be using these babies!”
The Doctor slammed a button on the console and a stream of mist rose from the floor. A secret compartment opened in the grating and a small lift carried up a strange device. As the mist cleared, Joe recognized the shape of the device.
“Those are what? Mechanical wings?” The wings were no bigger than that of an average Pegasus’ wings. They were constructed from a brass skeleton with the outstretched digits connected by a thick fabric. Thin wires connected the servos or ball bearings or whatever was the driving mechanical force of the bizarre contraption. At the base of the wings were several uncomfortable looking metal straps.
The Doctor went right into his exuberant explanation, “The latest design in non-Pegasi aerial assistance! Strap these babies onto an Earth Pony or Unicorn and they can sustain flight as beautifully as any winged beast. WELL, it’s more like falling in style really, wouldn't recommend entering any flight competitions. But, at the very least, like any good pair of wings, they’ll allow you to stand on clouds like it was nothing! Or would that be something? Can’t really stand on nothing. Anyway, they work in conjunction with your horn. Consider yourself Equestria’s newest Alicorn Princess, eh?”
Joe flexed one of the metal wings up and down. The metal creaked and groaned. “You don’t honestly expect me to wear this thing, do you?”
“MARE’s orders, Con Mane. But just wait till you see this: I outfitted these babies with some neat little modifications. Now pay attention, please?” The Doctor pressed another button on the center console and a small compartment on the panel opened up revealing a tiny device, no bigger than a postage stamp. “Here’s a cute little fella called a homing device. I named it Homer. Once it’s primed, you can track it using radar reception in your watch.”
“I thought I wasn't wearing a watch?”
“Would you rather have a pink bracelet instead?”
“uh, no.”
“Alright then you just keep quiet! The smaller model of the Homer is designed to fit into your horseshoe, so if you ever run into trouble, we’ll know where to find you. Invasion of personal privacy is the best security I always say. The Homer’s larger brother can magically stick to any surface imaginable, except for couch upholstery for some reason. But anyway, you can tail an enemy while keeping out of sight. Any questions?”
Joe held the larger Homer in his hoof. It looked no bigger than a cigarette case and was surprisingly light. “I gotta admit that’s pretty clever. I can stop off to get a quick donut on route.”
“Well, yes, I suppose you could, but it has not been perfected out of years of careful research entirely for that purpose, Cone Mane. That reminds me, I’d appreciate it’s return along with all your other equipment, intact for once, when you return from the field.”
“Hey, Doc, you’d be surprised at how much wear and tear goes on out in the field. So what else you got?”
“WELL, if you got the time, and trust me you do, I will run you through some of the toys your new wings will come with. One simple command from your horn will activate some rather interesting modifications. Smokescreen, oil slick, magical barrier and left and right frontal wing cannons a la the NLR. Now THIS is brilliant! Next to this harness, by your hoof, you will find a little red button. Now whatever you do, don’t touch it!”
“Yeah. and why not?”
“Because you’ll undo this section of the harness and engage, and then fire the rocket propelled turbo boost. You’ll go from zero to way too fast in a very short amount of time. Whoosh!”
Joe followed the wires that ran from the button. He then noticed that the central joint from where the actual wings sprouted had a wide nozzle in the rear. “A rocket boost? You gotta be joking!”
“I never joke about my work, Con Mane.” The Doctor stared down Joe with an unamused glare.