“The running of the leaves is a little late, but it is finally happening,” Berry Punch announced from behind her newspaper. As a page was turned, a yawn was heard from the earth pony mare.
“Why is it late?” Derpy asked, giving her husband a sleepy look as he stared out the kitchen window. “I seem to recall there was some reason.”
“The first assembly of the Stable of Representatives delayed it slightly. Mayor Mare decided to wait until after the first assembly was done,” Berry Punch replied as she set her paper down upon the table and looked around. “They’ve given Spitfire a choice. She can either serve with the rank of Major, a promotion from her previous rank as captain, or she can continue serving as a Stable Representative.”
“I wonder what she’ll choose,” Bucky grumbled as he stared out the window and off at his school, which was scheduled to open before the month was out.
“She already made the choice,” Berry Punch said, folding the paper over and smoothing it out with her hoof. “She chose to keep serving her nation as a Stable Representative.”
“The Empress is still asleep. I’m going to enjoy this time of relative peace and quiet,” Bucky mumbled as he continued to stare blearily out of the kitchen window.
“Enjoy it while you can. Today, you have a photo opportunity that you have to take… those two big golems for the gunpowder initiative. The news photographers will be by sometime around noon and Twilight Sparkle will be here for it. She’s also bringing Rainbow Dash so that Rainbow Dash can get a bit of snuggle time with the Empress. Somepony is getting mommy lessons from Derpy… also, I’ve agreed to allow the delegation from the Crystal Empire to visit,” Berry Punch announced, cringing just a little bit at the last part.
“You what?” Bucky demanded, his eye going wide.
“Just two. No more than two. So you wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Not the whole delegation. I thought maybe that was the problem. Thirty some odd ponies wanting to speak with you can be intimidating,” Berry Punch responded, looking at her husband.
“There is still time… I can flee… or hide in my office at the top of the stairs. I can-”
“You can stay right here at home, looking after Cadance and getting a bit of downtime,” Derpy gently interrupted, reaching out to touch her husband with one hoof.
“Two mares… nothing scary… one is named Amber Waves and the other is named Arctic Lily. Princess Celestia selected them because they are quiet and gentle natured,” Berry Punch said, trying to reassure Bucky.
“I am telling you, this is a bad idea,” Bucky whispered, slouching in his chair. “I have things to do. A school to open. I am positive that there is some crisis somewhere that needs my attention. A war that needs to be quelled. A disaster that I can stop. The foals… the foals need a bath… I can make myself useful-mmmph!”
“Shut up,” Derpy said, pressing her hoof gently into Bucky’s mouth. “If you do good today, I’ll make it worth your while,” she offered, pulling her hoof away and looking at Bucky with a seductive stare.
Sucking in a deep breath sharply, Bucky silently nodded and admitted defeat.
“There are two different kinds of pegasi mares,” Derpy explained in a soft voice as she looked at Rainbow Dash, who was busy looking at Cadance with wide somewhat fearful eyes.
“Two?” Rainbow Dash asked as she carefully prodded Cadance with her wing, which made the foal giggle.
“There are brooders and watchers. Both are important. Ripple, Yew, and myself, we are brooders. We like to sit on foals and keep them safe and warm. Loch Skimmer is a watcher. She likes to stand near us when we brood and protect us. She doesn’t do it often, but sometimes the mood takes her, especially during stressful times,” Derpy replied, speaking slowly and watching Rainbow Dash.
Reaching out, Derpy lifted Rainbow Dash’s wing and then with a swift movement, scooted Cadance beneath it. She patted Rainbow Dash on her withers and then Derpy smiled.
“I do this with Scootaloo and Slippy… but this feels different with a foal this small… this feels… nice,” Rainbow Dash said, a dopey grin spreading over her face. She turned her head around and then prodded Cadance with her snoot, gently pushing the foal a bit more under her wing. “I could get used to this I think.”
Laying on the floor, sprawled out on her belly, Derpy lifted her own wing. “Harper! Trouble!” she said in a firm voice, initiating a ritual that had been done hundreds of times.
Harper, lifting her head, immediately scooted across the floor as fast as her stubby little legs would carry her and dove beneath Derpy’s wing. She curled into a tiny ball as Derpy lowered her wing down and covered the foal, hiding most of Harper from view.
“That’s amazing,” Rainbow Dash whispered after having watched the display.
“Cadance’s wings are rumpled and need preening,” Derpy slowly suggested as she tried to give Rainbow Dash a meaningful look. “We can’t have the Empress going around with messy wings.”
“Oh… I can do that,” Rainbow Dash replied. She grabbed Cadance by her tail, which made the foal squeak, and then gently pulled her around, situating Cadance between her forelegs. “This is nice. I like this. I could get used to this motherhood thing.”
“Now I’m gonna tell you a few things that are very important to know Rainbow Dash…”
The two golems were immense. Terrifying. Fires burned inside of them, making them look absolutely terrifying. They moved with smooth perfect mechanical precision. Their glass bodies appeared to be made for war. Hands large enough to pick up a pony and crush them into a meatball clenched into fists as the golems stomped around on display.
“This is the general production model,” Bucky said, offering no further explanation as he exchanged a glance with Twilight Sparkle. He grinned at the news reporters from various papers.
“I do believe we will field test these in Minos. We are currently getting the proper clearance from legitimate sources within their government. A couple of these should put an end to the civil war,” Princess Twilight Sparkle said, all too aware that her words were being written down for print.
“The Royal Pony Sisters, I myself, and Princess Twilight Sparkle have pledged our support of the legitimate and peace loving government of Minos. The rebels will be dealt with. Peace will be restored. Barbarism will not be tolerated. Minos has asked to join the Equestrian Sea of Grass alliance. We welcome them as friends and we will aid them. I do hope that I will not have to pay a visit to Minos at any time during the near future,” Bucky announced as a bunch of flash bulbs began to go off.
“Everything that goes into a foal has to come out of a foal. They poop. A lot. Like an unbelievable amount that nopony would believe unless they have actually experienced it,” Derpy carefully explained.
“But the diaper holds it all in, right?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking disgusted.
“Um… no,” Derpy replied.
“NO?” Rainbow Dash questioned, her eyes going wide with panic.
“Sometimes… there are… events. The diaper overflows. The poo happens and it just keeps happening… and there is no way of making it stop,” Derpy answered hesitantly.
Not too far away, Yew Wood nodded with awkward enthusiasm as she continued to knit, her knitting needles clicking as she worked on making a little stocking cap for Cadance.
“Poosplosions happen. Not long after we came home and got settled into this house, we started putting diapers on Harper, Bucky was holding Harper in the bed with him when she poosploded,” Derpy said, reminiscing as she spoke.
Looking down at Cadance, Rainbow Dash’s eyes went even wider with panic. The blue pegasus shivered and gave Cadance a little hug. “I like having older foals… I dunno about having a little foal,” she muttered in a fearful voice.
“Older foals can be kinda gross. You should ask Bucky how many times he’s been barfed on, snotted on, and widdled upon,” Derpy said as she looked over Cadance’s wings and was generally pleased with what she saw.
“Peekaboo had a snoot full of boogers the other day… she kept horking and hawking trying get the snot out of her throat. She gagged and puked all over me,” Yew Wood said, not looking up from her knitting as she spoke. “I love that little foal.”
“OooohooooUGH,” Rainbow Dash whimpered as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Cradling Harper in her forelegs as she lay upon the floor, Derpy reached down and nuzzled the foal she so loved, making Harper giggle and coo in simple foalish happiness. “Rainbow, it isn’t so bad. You get to love something that loves you back… that depends upon you. There are moments that make it worth it.”
“Ooooh HI Cadance,” Twilight Sparkle squealed as she entered into the front room.
“Poosplosions Twi… I don’t know if I can do this,” Rainbow Dash whined.
“I changed a diaper. Pound Cake made a big smelly stinky. His parents were busy and Pinkie Pie was busy trying to get tangles out of Twist’s hair. It looked like it was full of greasy peanut butter,” Twilight Sparkle responded as she laid down upon the floor to be with Cadance.
“Greasy peanut butter… that’s foal formula poo,” Derpy said, making an expression of disgust. “Very hard to clean.”
“I had to bathe him in the sink. He peed on me,” Twilight Sparkle said as she made a silly face at Cadance.
“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash grunted, shaking her head and trying to dismiss the horror she was hearing. “This is awful. I want a foal but I don’t know if I can with all of this other stuff.”
“You want a foal?” Twilight asked, her eyes darting up to look into Rainbow Dash’s eyes.
“Well kinda… I think I’m a broody pegasus… I don’t know... this is really overwhelming and confusing!” Rainbow Dash responded, feeling a peculiar sensation with how Twilight was looking at her.
“But you want a foal?” Twilight asked, a growing excitement in her voice.
“Well, I’m thinking about it,” Rainbow Dash admitted, looking very nervous.
“Oh this is wonderful!” Twilight squealed. “If we hurry we can make a playmate for Cadance. I’m not ready yet but we can get started for you right away. Zecora gave me a potion that makes mares come into estrus almost instantly. Oh this is perfect!”
“Um…” Rainbow Dash hummed apprehensively. She smacked her lips nervously and looked around the room, all to aware that everypony was staring at her. Even Cadance was looking up at her with wide curious eyes.
“Rainbow, don’t get pressured into this, this is a big decision. Make sure you are ready. Think of the foal before you do anything,” Derpy suggested in a patient voice.
Looking embarrassed, Twilight's ears drooped. “I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured… I’m sorry.”
“Twilight, do you think that the Cakes would let us foalsit the twins?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking curious and thoughtful.
“Probably, but we might have to take Twist too, they would probably appreciate some time just to themselves,” Twilight answered, still looking hopeful.
“Derpy, I know it is a lot to ask, but if I was foal sitting the twins, could I bring them here and could we stay, I dunno, for like a night so you can watch over me and tell me when I am making a mistake?” Rainbow Dash questioned, looking at Derpy with pleading eyes.
“That sounds like fun. Make sure you ask the Cakes first. We can have a big play date for our foals,” Derpy replied, beaming, her eyes twinkling with happiness.
“Lord of Winter,” Amber Waves said, bowing her head slightly.
“Lord of Winter, it is a pleasure to finally meet you,” Arctic Lily said, also bowing her head.
Feeling nervous, Bucky tried to make his tense muscles relax. He thought about smiling but then quickly killed that thought. He sat in his chair, holding court in his library, feeling very insecure and afraid.
“You seem very tense my lord… we know that you are not him. And there is no need to speak of that unpleasantness. The Crystal Empire knows of you, your deeds, and your rightful claim to the throne. Most of us do not fear you,” Amber Waves said in soothing voice, trying to calm the trembling unicorn in the overstuffed chair.
“We also know what you have done for our Empress,” Arctic Lily stated, smiling a soft smile. “By retrieving her and keeping her as our Empress, you have proven that, as our rightful Emperor, you truly want what is best for us and for us to be happy.”
No, I want what is best for me and my happiness, Bucky thought to himself, cringing at the mare’s words. “Yes. I want to make sure that the Crystal Empire is looked after long after I am gone. Now you have an Immortal Empress to sit upon the throne. This is my gift to you,” Bucky said in his most diplomatic voice.
“The Crystal Empire has sent us, the delegation, to assist you in your efforts. We are thirty six willing mares of good breeding stock, gentle dispositions, skilled in all manner of tasks-”
“Wait, what?” Bucky interrupted, feeling his testicles shrivel into raisins.
“We are skilled in all manner of tasks from clerical, to domestic, to sexual. We want what is best for our Empress and to make sure that she never wants for anything,” Amber Waves continued.
Cold sweat trickled down Bucky’s neck and he felt a fearful chill prickling his guts. His penis shriveled and retracted even further into his sheath, as though it was looking for warmth.
“We are a willing herd of mares that will look after every need your family has, we are willing to be wed to you to make sure our Empress is happy and well provided for,” Arctic Lily offered, smiling at Bucky and revealing perfect teeth.
“Nope!” Bucky said, slipping from his chair and backing away, moving backside first towards the door. “No no, that isn’t necessary… I assure you, Cadance will be looked after and all of her needs provided for!”
“Lord of Winter, we are willing. Nopony is forcing us into doing this. We wish to reward you for your kindness and to provide for our Empress,” Arctic Lily explained, still smiling.
“The house isn’t large enough for that many mares,” Bucky responded, fumbling for any excuse he could think of. “It would feel crowded!” he cried as he nearly tripped over a stepladder stool that was used to fetch books off of tall shelves. “Not enough bathrooms! The lines to pinch a loaf would be terrible!”
“We would bring the wealth of the Crystal Empire with us. We could construct a proper palace for the Empress,” Amber Waves answered, her smile never faltering.
A wordless whimper escaped from Bucky’s lips as he continued to try and politely back away towards the door. He thought about teleporting… it was an option. “Um, you beautiful mares must excuse me. I’m not feeling well. I, uh, really need to go. I’ve been through some very trying ordeals. I… uh… er… oh… well…”
“We are asking you to do what is best for our Empress. We only wish to reward you for your service. Please, give us a chance!” Arctic Lily pleaded, her smile beginning to falter.
“Derpy help me!” Bucky cried as he bolted through the door, leaving the two disappointed mares alone in the farmhouse library.