Alone. A word that describes many in this world, most looking for love or something cheesy like that.
A word that, in fact, describes me, but not in the way you think.
Alone I walk, alone I stand, alone I battle. I am alone. Alone, stuck without anybody, or anything, to be there for me.
Alone. It's a term I've become used to.
It's a term I've adapted to.
It's a word I simply live by, like a royal guard to a king's word every day. Every single tiresome, lonely minute that ticks by.
Friends? Never heard of that. Just me and myself, alone. Alone to my thoughts, just like I've always been every single day of my tedious, dull, humdrum life.
What? Being alone is bad? I should try to stop being so alone? Please, save it. I've been alone since the day I was born, left outside of an orphanage by my own mother and father. Hell, they left a note saying I was an abomination and they could care less if I were left to freeze outside.
Loving, aren't they?
Isolated by the other kids like a wolf pack does to an injured member, I thrived, well, alone. Just like it's always been. The same thing that will never change, even if I try.
Sure, you could say I became the protege for a princess. Sure, I practically excelled at life from then on. Sure, I was living 'the good life'.
But guess what?
I slipped up. The 'perfect little girl' made a mistake, and her life was thrown out the window. It all flew away, like a pretty little bird finally let out of its cage.
And alone truly became my life. Alone became my everything from then on, and I marched off into the abyss I knew I'd never leave. All because of... well, I guess you could say because of me. And you could say I could've fought off the loneliness, got friends, whatever. But what use is there in fighting destiny? It's like trying to change your cutie mark.
My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I'm about to die.
Or so I thought.
The magical laser then hit me just as I escaped my pondering of life, and everything went dark as I stumbled backwards and fell. But instead of then seeing the gates of Hell waiting for me just as I did so, I instead was greeted with nothingness, driving me to look around, perplexed. Where was my sealed fate of torture?
Yet as I tilted my head, I saw that nothing was really around me though, just. . . black. My eyes then darted around frantically as panic began to well up in my stomach, only to be rewarded with more sickening black. Was there nothing but black in this place? Was this my torture?
Breathing heavy with my eyes wide open, I craned my head over to look behind myself, seeing that the blackness was indeed everywhere as I had suspected. And I was seemingly floating, though it felt as if I were underwater and sinking to the bottom.
Arms shaking as I outstretched them, I tested the 'air' around me, feeling nothing as I clasped my hands into fists.
Is this what's it like to be dead!?
Yet as my panic began to become to the point where I was choking on my own, fast paced breaths, another thought came to me: Panicking wasn't going to help. Logical thinking was.
Putting my head back in its natural position and sighing as I forced myself to calm down with shorter paced breaths, I folded my arms and wondered just why the 'rainbow beam of friendship and death', as I now called it, even put me here in the first place. Maybe it could somehow help me find an escape. Unless, of course, I had died. Then I'm screwed.
Was it for me to reminisce about my past mistakes? Because I've already decided what I did was bad, and I'll apologize to everyone I've hurt if I ever leave this place. Boom, that's out of the picture. Maybe it knocked me into a coma, but wouldn't I hear voices or something? Pretty sure I read that somewhere online. And I know I don't have friends, but still-- doctors 'n stuff.
Unless they left me there, to shrivel up and die like I'm supposed too.
Shaking the thought off, another theory was that the death ray of sunshine killed me, and now this was where I would stay for all of eternity. Like, maybe it was a reserved place in Hell, designed to make me go crazy as I floated around the nothingness. Seems legit to me.
Yet then again, it left me in my body with clothes. Pretty sure that the Devil would take away those things just to make me go even more insane... Right?
I honestly don't know.
Growling and grinding my teeth together, I tried to move forward, only to flail about helplessly as I began to do flips indefinitely. The watery feeling then changed to that of falling, the pushed back panic coming up again.
"Oh, come ON!" I yelled into the abyss, expecting no answer as I continued to vent out my rage. Alright, I'll admit it- I'm not exactly a clean woman. I've done some pretty terrible things, and I deserve whatever this is supposed to be. But still-- this was kinda cruel, to flip around with what felt like a never ending panic.
"Yeah, this is kinda cruel. Maybe I should've just teleported you straight into the flashback," a voice mumbled.
"W-what? Who's there!?" I shouted out as I continued to spiral out of control, seeing no figure among the dark. Great, now my fear had even more reason. "Show yourself!"
"Quite bossy, I see. Allow me to introduce myself."
Suddenly I felt something cold and sharp press down against her head, stopping the spiraling instantly. Letting out a relieved sigh as I once again returned to being still, I looked forward to my savior, only to find my body freeze up as I choked out what I wanted to be a name.
"D-d-d-d-d-d-d--"
"Discord, dear. D.I.S.C.O.R.D. Or rather,"that guy who doesn't have bacon for hair like you do"."
"But, why are you- why does everybody say my hair looks like bacon!?" Yeah, I was scared, but frustration for me overpowers everything else.
"Because it does. Seriously, consider dying that or something. Nearly ate it myself when I first encountered you lying in that crater unconscious."
"But... why... how... what."
Discord responded to my confusion with a small chuckle, proceeding to lay a talon on my nose and say "boop". I in turn grabbed his arm and pushed it away, shuddering as I did so. Discord was just... creepy.
Oh sweet Celestia, what was going on?
Was this my torture?
"My dear little sun, now is not the time for questions. I am here on a friendship mission for Celestia, simple as that. So come along, and we'll start this little adventure of ours!"
He then placed his eagle talons together with a sly grin, ready to take me to wherever, but I stopped him with something that I guess could be called a scream.
"WAIT! I just would like one question answered!"
Groaning, Discord pulled his talons away from each other and put it on his hip along with his lion paw, saying,"Alright. But I am a very busy chaos maker, and cannot stay here for to long, so make it quick!"
He then clapped his 'hands', as I settled on calling them, a flash of white engulfing the darkness of the void before it came rushing back, revealing that we were now sitting in on big, brown chairs. It felt off for a moment, gravity suddenly returning as I sat for what seemed like the first time in years, but I eventually adapted to it. Then rolling my eyes as I noticed that Discord was dressed up like a therapist, glasses and everything, I paused for a moment and thought carefully of what to say before speaking.
"Why?" I bluntly asked.
"Come again?" he said with the slightest hint of puzzlement in his voice, adjusting his glasses and looking up from the paper he was now writing on. "You need to be more specific, dear. This is an evaluation of your mental health, after all."
I didn't even bother with face palming or anything as I spoke up again.
"Just... why? Why are you... doing... this!" I then gestured to the void around me as I tried to make sense of the whole situation. Smirking slyly like before, he teleported the ridiculous getup he had on away, along with the chairs we had been sitting on. Yet again the sensation of weightlessness came onto me at full force, and I had to kick around desperately to adjust to the floating again.
"Dear Sunset, you've gestured to everything. And like I've said before-- this is for Celestia. You see, one night when I was aimlessly wandering about Celestia and Luna's castle, trying to figure out just why Rarity's butt always has glitter on it, I heard sobs coming from her chambers. Being the good friend I am, I walked in, forced hot chocolate down her throat, and asked what was wrong.
"She then yelled at me about nearly choking, but we quickly made up and Celestia explained that she was worried about Sunset Shimmer, aka you. She was worried that the hatred that had resulted in her neglecting you like she once had her sister all those years ago still resided in your heart, and that Twilight may not be able to restore you with the elements, and may have to resort to... more brutal ways of taking you down..."
I didn't need to hear much more to get where he was going with this as I nodded. Celestia still had feelings for me like a mother would to a daughter, and she feared that I had grown hateful to the point where execution would be the only method in saving the world I was now in. I should've known she wouldn't accept me for who I am and get over me.
"Anyways, I then decided to check up you myself, to see if the elements restored you--"
"And they have," I finished. I know I'm good now, and I don't need Discord telling me so.
"Not really."
If my jaw could fall off, it would be long gone by now. What did he mean!? I get it now, what I did was wrong! What more did I need to learn? Did I have to take a freakin' friendship exam or something?
Seeing me trying to wrap her head around his accusation, Discord was swift to explain his reasoning.
"You see, you know what you did was wrong, but... you still don't really know."
I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Sunset Shimmer, you... basically learned that your plan was far to complicated to ever work. You'll probably just come up with a simpler way to take the element and get world domination or whatever you kids want these days. Tartarus, you may just kill Twilight and get on with it!"
I opened my mouth to protest, only to have it close again as my mind began to think. Discord was... right. Though I don't like admitting it, he does have a point. I know what I did was wrong, but do I feel sorry for doing it? Will any apologies I say be sincere?
No.
I'm a loner, and loners aren't the understanding type.
"Anyways, I am here to truly show your the error of you ways, send you back knowing that you will never be evil again, cheer up Celestia, and seduce Twilight Sparkle."
Ignoring his last few words, I began to speak.
"But..."
"Yes?"
I breathed in, not believing what I was about to say.
"What if I don't want to be good?"