As Soldier, the de facto and self fancied leader of the merry band of lunatics had promised. They took their turkey. Killed it in cold blood. And then ate it. By ate it, I mean that when they were in the process of doing a crappy job of roasting it, out of nowhere did crit stickies RAIN from the formerly calm skies.
ROBOTS.
Scattering around like leaves at first sight of an autumn gale, the mercs milled about screaming incomprehensibly as they snatched up their weapons ranging from rocket launchers to homemade flamethrowers to frying pans. The robots persisted in their attack, as they switched from sticky bombs to the standard grenade launcher raining the mercs with pipe bombs.
"THOSE GOLDBRICKS DARE ATTACK ON WHEN WE ARE EATING TURKEY?! KILL THEM ALL!" Soldier screamed over the din as he fired a rocket at a nearby Demobot, blowing the metal contraption to bits. "Alright men! ATTACK!"
No one truly needed any second bidding when grenades were flying at them from all directions. What people needed at the moment was something to duck behind against the raining grenades and bullets. Had it not been the quick actions of a German doctor or the fast hands of an engineer, most of the team would probably be in pieces at the moment. Instead, they all remained well and alive (relatively) as they lobbed back bullets and explosives at the advancing robots.
"There's more of them!"
"Goddamn it! More shooting and less shouting!" Soldier rasped over the din as he advanced through the fire, braving past a few bullets within his trousers and a near miss from a grenade. "Take... that! And that! Come on sissies! Keep fighting! Look! They're pulling back! After them! There's money to be had in the spoils of war!"
No one moved a muscle.
"AND HATS!"
Soldier soon found himself flattened paper thin as the stampede crushed him as eight other lunatics ran through the forest, tearing through foliage as they picked up money and dropped metallic hats in the process. Bullets and rockets flying in the meantime.
Everything would have been fine. If a sudden discharge from a rocket launcher hadn't collided with a weather factory... everything would have been somewhat fine if the explosion hadn't tore open the place they kept all the blizzard clouds. The runaway blankets trailed over across the skies in a flash before finally making their way to the coast where they continued to float before stopping above a certain derelict island dumping their payload all over a normally warm place. This would be noticed by the couple dozen thugs that the Crime Syndicate had placed on charge over the island. That however, would be saved for a later date.
Everything for the mercenaries, may have been fine if a passing Pegasus didn't choose to alert the authorities of the destruction caused, and mysterious "flashes" happening in the woods.
10,000 rounds per minute was something that could knock houses down in a flash. Against robots, it produced similar effects as the Russian screamed happily in his mad joy at the sight of spare parts and bolts erupting in all directions as his gun shredded anything within a hundred meter radius into metallic soup. From in front of him, the explosion of a carefully hidden sniper bot made the Russian pause for a moment, before nodding his thanks to the Australian sharpshooter besides him.
"Good shot!"
"Thanks mate." Sniper replied. "There are more of these tincans now. I am betting at them having a camp somewhere round here."
"Mmmph...mmmph." Pyro nodded in agreement as he sent a rocket straight back at the hordes of robots which kept hitting the mercenaries like a storm. The mercenaries hit them back.
"Now then. ONWARD! TO HATS AND GLORY MEN." Soldier yelled over the din. "Charge me doc."
"Ja." The German replied as the red aura covered the Soldier who walked past them enemy machine gun and rocket fire. His teammates supported him, raining down fire and brimstone upon the robots.
"NO!" Gray screamed in frustration as the camera feed died once more before shortly establishing connection on another robot which once more, got him a really excellent view of what it would be like to have the last thing you ever see be a grenade flying right at your face. This happened for quite a few times before the connection caught him to the semi-functional camera of a broken soldier bot that was watching the metal massacre.
Casualty rate is at 5% Supreme Overlord. May I request that we retreat?
"No you bumpkin! It's not the damn robots! They're taking all my hats! And money too! Those burglarizing peons!" The old man ranted. "If only I somehow had a better mercenary to show those buffoons who is boss around here!"
Cue Deadpool
"Now if only something.... Grah! It's hopeless! Those dolts are going to find the headquarters I worked so tediously to set up and ruin every... what the....?"
"Eh fellas?" Engineer asked as he looked around him. "Anyone else feel something weird is going on?"
"Mhm." Pyro nodded. "Hudda...hudda...mmmffff..."
"Yeah...yeah... like this... like this... FRICKING PURPLE... BUBBLE THING!" Scout exclaimed. For a moment, picture a massive purple bubble that surrounds you. And now find that you are unable to get through, and anything inside is unable to go outside. That would be an excellent way of describing the scenario the mercs found themselves to be in.
"I WILL BREAK PURPLE!.... OOF."
"Calm down Heavy. Using that lard as a battering ram ain't gonna do us any good." Sniper muttered underneath his breath. "Oh look. A horse with wings."
"ROYAL GUARD. YOU ARE ALL UNDER ARREST."
"Wait... what?" Scout asked. "Under arrest? I can't be under arrest! I was already arrested last year!"
"For disturbing the peace and for property damage, you lunatics are all under arrest! Resist and we will have to respond with force!"
"You will not imprison me you cartoon... comicbook... thing!" Soldier retorted as he aimed at the barrier which was only small enough to contain all of them comfortably... but let's just say the same can't be said if an explosion was to happen. "I BREAK OUT OF THIS BARRIER."
"Wait. SOLDIER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....!!!!!!!!!!!"
Boom.
"And Princess. We have arrested the nine lunatics that were responsible for the destruction of a local weather factory." The Royal Guard Captain explained as he gestured at the heap of unconscious bodies that were all contained within the purple force field. "A Pegasus had explained that there were... um... two legged... eh... creatures in town. Just hours past, he had told us that the same creatures were responsible for the destruction of a weather factory. The means of which is still under investigation. However, judging from the fact these nine were on the scene... forensics detailing a... fight of sorts... we have kept them detained for questioning."
You needed forensics to come down here to tell you there was a fight? Celestia thought with a raised eyebrow. No wonder a certain two-legged creature with only one eye thought her guards had no business defending anything. If anyone took one look at the shattered trees, bullet casings on the ground or the fact there were decapitated robot heads in a pile, it'd take them about two seconds to piece together a total WAR had occurred on this spot.
"Now then. Onto the task at hand." Princess Celestia spoke as she had the force field drawn down. Taking a look at the unconscious (and battered) humans, she spotted one of them... who wore familiar white clothing... medic. What's he doing here? Deciding now was the time for same answers, the Princess of the Sun opened forth some of her magic, causing a few large buckets of water to pour right on the unconscious mercenaries who all shook awake, with Pyro being the most dramatic, as though someone had dumped ice down his back.
"Alright. Now I don't know what went on here, but can all of you explain what just went on here? Let's start with you... Medic." Princess Celestia said as she looked at the German. What was he doing here? It's not like Celestia actually needed some band of lunatics to do any more dirty work.
"Celestia? Vell... eh... you see...."
"Wait doc.... hold on a sec... how do you know... her? It...?"
"It's a long story." The German began, half to Celestia, half to his colleagues who were all rather interested in hearing.