"...What? That's it?"
Rainbow donned the best fake smile she could muster, laughing nervously and sweating bullets as she did so.
Applejack wasn't fooled.
The farmgirl's scowl only darkened, and the rest of the girls around her fidgeted nervously. Rarity hugged the cowering Fluttershy close, and Pinkie filed nervously away at her hooves with her teeth. Even Twilight hid beneath her own sheltering wings in fear of the worst that was to come.
"That's y'all's excuse?"
A pair of fiery green eyes darted between the girls and her own girlfriend, everypony flinching in turn.
"S-surprise?" Pinkie stammered, producing a piece of steaming apple pie with a forced grin.
Applejack drew gasps slapping the dish out of the party pony's hoof. Being so callous to apple confections of any kind was highly unusual for the proud earth pony, yet she seemed as entirely unmoved as before.
"Do y'all have any idea what you've done?!"
Fluttershy gulped and whimpered from behind her fashionista friend. "We... have an idea..."
"I mean, what could y'all have possibly been thinkin'?! This is gonna set us behind production schedule for weeks just to get ready, if'n this happens!"
"But we did it with good intentions!" Twilight boldly said, though drawing Applejack's ireful stare caused her to shrink again. She gulped. "W-what I mean is... t-tourism is a very lucrative business, and Ponyville's local economy has been suffering from a lack of visitors lately."
"And y'all just thought it'd be a good idea to turn Sweet Apple Acres into some kind of crummy amusement park fer a bunch of high-falutin' bluebloods?!"
Twilight gulped. "W-we just thought... we just thought that maybe if ponies got to experience what Sweet Apple Acres was like, then perhaps it could increase your revenue and spread word of your orchard!"
Applejack's brow smoothed over slightly, eyes still narrow and accusatory.
"Th-think about it!" the princess continued. "You could hold apple-tasting, tours of the farms, you could show everypony how you create your cider right from scratch, and everypony could buck their own apples to find out just how easy it is."
The farmgirl's glare could have killed a basket of puppies.
Twilight's eyes bulged. "Aaaaaand by 'easy', I meant, how NOT easy at ALL it is and how hard you Apples work to provide your produce to Equestria... is of course what I meant!" she corrected hurriedly. "Eheheheh..."
Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash and stared at her as if she willed her heart to stop beating.
"And you never thought to tell 'em I might have my own ideas about this?"
The pegasus pouted pitifully, which seemed to take a lot of the anger out of her girlfriend's eyes.
"It's as Twilight said, dear! W-we thought it would be a good opportunity for developing interest in Ponyville and could drum up additional business for Sweet Apple Acres! Rainbow Dash assured us you wouldn't mind."
Rainbow's eyes widened and she looked at Rarity with a grave expression.
Applejack grit her teeth and turned to her girlfriend again. "Did she now...?"
Rarity paled even further, if that were possible. "Oops."
For many moments, the cowpony seethed, breaths steady, even, and furious.
"W-we had the best intentions," Fluttershy assured her.
Applejack leveled her eyes at Rainbow again -- eyes that could shake a mountain to its foundation.
"Everypony in the crowd was looking at me!" she squeaked, cowering on the ground as the farmgirl stepped closer. "I wanted to say something cool! They talked up my ego! I GOT CONFUSED!"
Her girlfriend stopped not ten inches away. She stood over her as if a hooded executioner over his next victim. Rainbow Dash flinched and covered herself, expecting well-deserved pain.
She peeked up after several seconds, and instead found an ominous smile.
The other girls shifted uncomfortably.
"Well, it's mighty nice to know I've got such good friends willin' to help us out on the farm and get ready for all these new-fangled tours we're gonna be hostin'! Would sure be nice havin' a few extra sets of farmhooves to get ahead on the harvest 'fore all them tourists get here... Twilight."
The princess's ears fell in a pout.
"And the rest of y'all can help Rarity clean out the barn and barnyard and decorate fer all the guests we'll be gettin'! It's a big job, but I'm awful glad y'all are here to help!"
The girls all looked wincingly amongst one another.
"Sounds good to me!" the pegasus said in relief, darting up mid-hover. "This is gonna be like the most awesome thing for Sweet Apple Acres ever! I'll just go get a head start on that applebucking and--YAIGH!"
"Uh-uh," Rainbow heard, yelping as she was yanked from the sky by her tail. She landed with an "oof". Applejack stepped firmly on her partner's tail to root her in place, leaning in closer. The heat from her breath licked at the pegasus's fur like the flames of Tartauros. "I got darker plans fer you, sugarcube..." An evil grin washed over her girlfriend's lips. "And maybe it'll just shrink that ginormous ego ya got..."
Rainbow Dash's ears pinned and her pupils dilated.
***
"Step right up, folks, and welcome to the grand openin' of Sweet Apple Acres' Barnyard Tours! My name is Applejack, and I'll be your hostess while yer here! And don't forget to say hi to my brother Big Mac...!"
A large red stallion attached to a wagon nearby waved. "Eeyup."
"My baby sister, Applebloom!"
Her younger sibling grinned and saluted.
"My dear Granny Smith!"
Granny looked around dazedly. "Soup's up?"
"And the newest addition to our little slice of home, let's hear it for Sweet Apple Acres' new mascot, Sparky the Wonder-Apple!"
Rainbow Dash scowled nearby, dressed in an oversized zap apple suit. The cause for the flush and sweat on her face was hard to discern, whether it was from humiliation or from the heat. She pouted and sighed.
"Golly gee, wowzers, Applejack..." she droned, dancing limply from side to side, "what a zap-happy day..."