I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “Look, I know this sounds like a bad idea, but trust me okay? If I’m going to change things, change the way ponies think about us, then ponies need to know what I am. Who I am.” I looked up at him, pleading with him almost. “I need you there with me. Please.”
“Bluey... Luna’s orders are to remain hidden for now, at least give me time to talk this plan over with her, and discuss the best way to implement it.” He pointed a hoof towards the empty bunks of the barracks. “Not to mention the chance that one of them, most likely Gilda, will try to kill you. I understand the logic of your suggestion, but it’s a bad idea. The goal is to change things for your species, not for you to become a pointless martyr.”
Perhaps becoming a martyr was what was needed.
“And we both know Luna would never allow it.”
“Then you shouldn’t do it.”
“I need to do this. For myself.” I sighed and looked away. “Look, I was rejected by all the changelings, I need to be accepted. To feel wanted. I am a changeling and changelings are social creatures, we need to belong, we need to fit in.” When I glanced back up at him, I saw the worry in his eyes and I gave him the most reassuring smile I could manage. “Look, you’re concern is touching, but I know what I’m doing.”
“... I’m not sure you do. Bluey, what happened last night was... well, it affected you very heavily. I’m not sure you’re looking at this objectively...” He kicked a hoof awkwardly. “Or to be honest, completely sanely. This is a rash decision which has the potential to... frankly get you killed. Wait a few days. Restore an emotional equilibrium and distance, and reconsider then.”
“Sometimes emotions are necessary, sometimes emotional choices are the right choices,” I said. “Plus, I’m not the only one who thinks this way and if I’m not the only one, another will take Luna up on the offer. Hopefully, it’ll be less painful for them.”
“When that happens we can deal with it then, but we don’t have any idea how long it could take another changeling to defect. Listen to me Bluey, this could get you killed, and it is not a necessary risk.”
“It is. Don’t you see? I’ve worked with them and they know me. Maybe not well, but they know me and if they can’t see past the appearance, then no one can. Plus, we’re a team, we need to work together and there cannot be any secrets between us. They need to trust us completely and we need to trust them completely. The longer we keep this a secret, the worse the damage will be when it comes out.”
“But you can still afford to wait a few days,” he frowned. “Take some more time to think it over and be absolutely certain this is the right course of action.”
“Look, either you support me or I do this alone,” I snapped.
“Of course I support you,” he replied and I felt a bit of hurt leak through before he clamped down on it.
“Thanks, that means more than you know.” I breathed out a sigh of relief as the tension drained from my frame.
“Just know, that from the perspective of complete logic, this is a bad thing to do. If I advice against it, it’s because I’m thinking of your well being.”
I grinned at him and stuck my tongue out. “Since when have I been the most logical bug in the room?”
“Ever since you were the only bug in the room,” he replied.
“Which makes me the sexiest, awesomest and best bug,” I shot back as I trotted towards the main bunk room. “You coming for the big reveal?”
He replied as he followed after me. “Someone needs to step in between you and the knife that gryphon will inevitably attempt to place in your sternum.”
“Oh come on, don’t be like that!” I spun around and began walking backwards. “Also, no taking a knife for me. I’m not worth it and you’re worth more than some pointless death.”
“You’re lecturing me about pointless death when you’re about to do this?” He gave me a flat look. “And you have to remember, you’re one of a kind where I’m merely one of twenty. You’re worth as an individual is notabl-”
“No. Just... no...” I sighed. “Trust me alright? Despite everything, you’re worth more.”
He rolled his eyes. “We really need to find a psychiatrist for you. Your lack of self-worth grows ever more concerning. Understand this, Bluey, if I were to take a knife for you it would not be out of sense of logic or pre-considered weight values, it will be because I will do everything in my power to prevent the death of a close friend.”
“Like how you’d prevent the death of Pitch?” I chuckled.
“In Pitch’s case I’d probably help whoever held the knife and congratulate him afterwards.”
I blinked and looked around. “Talking about Pitch, have you seen him lately? Him and Shiver now that I think about it...”
“Whatever you did to the two of them was clearly a mistake.” He rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing more insufferable than a stallion in love and trying to hide it so poorly.”
“I think it’s cute,” I replied, spinning around to open the door to the main barracks. “Maybe you should change the silly rule about dating in the ranks.”
“I didn’t make the rule. It’s a standard Equestrian military regulation.”
“Well you should petition Luna to change it.” A grin crawled onto my face. “Actually, petition Cadence.”
He snorted, but didn’t comment.
Stepping into the main room, I couldn’t help, but smirk at the sight and sound of all those sleeping bodies. They looked so peaceful and happy, no doubt dreaming of happy times away from the tartarus I was about to give them. Such a shame. Such a great shame someone was going to wake them up from their beauty sleep and hey, if I couldn’t get a good day’s rest, neither can they.
Actually, waking them up could wait, it was time to have some fun first.
Grabbing my manepin, I began working on the lock to Shiver’s door and popped it in seconds. “Hey, can you open Pitch’s room?” I asked as I tossed the pin to him and opened the door. “Let’s have some fun first.”
He rolled his eyes, but took a key from somewhere on his armour and unlocked the door. “You didn’t need to pick the lock.”
“It’s practise!” I stepped through and grinned down at Shiver. “Look, can you help me drag her into Pitch’s room or not?”
“Sounds like an inappropriate action for an officer,” he answered and stepped over to help. “Good thing I haven’t been made one yet.”
“I won’t say anything if you don’t,” I said as I looked around the room, noticing how boringly plain it was. “And seriously, this place looks so boring. She hasn’t really bothered to spruce it up, has she?”
“Shiver has two interests in life; Fighting, and sarcasm. Neither of those is home decoration.” He replied as his eyes turned black with shadow magic, and he carefully began to slide Shiver along the floor. “Actually, make that three. Her crush on Pitch is just as sickening as his.”
I stuffed a hoof in my mouth in an attempt to stifle my laughter. By the time I recovered enough to not make a sound and just grin widely, Shiver was in Pitch’s bed and they automatically snuggled into each other. It looked cute if truth had to be told, but it was also going to be a very hilarious couple of minutes.
“Well, at least it’s not as bad as Pitch’s room.” I glanced at all the mare posters on the walls in various almost, but not quite, compromising positions. “Seriously, this must be against regulations or something.”
“It is, but Shiver hurts him every time she see them so I let it be for entertainment value’s sake.”
“Hm...” I rubbed my chin as I stared at the posters. “What do you think she’d do if the posters were even more... compromising?”
“Possibly leave him limping for quite some time. He favours his right hoof, you see, so she tends to target that.”
I nodded slowly before grinning at him. “Got any compromising pinups I could use?”
He gave me a flat look.
“Mares or stallions, either would work,” I prodded, grinning even wider at his reaction.
“To posses such would be in violation of regulation. When have you ever known me to violate regulations?”
“Come on, not even a dirty magazine?”
“If I had one, I wouldn’t keep it here.”
“You’re booooooooooring.” I poked his side. “I bet you’re the only one here without a dirty magazine or something similar stashed away.”
“What about you?” He gave me a look. “And I’m sure some of the other mares don’t.”
“I’m a bug,” I replied. “I doubt the last thing you need to imagine is me clopping.”
He grimaced. “...Yes, that’s a good point. Please refrain from confirming my fears.”
I immediately slid up beside him, smiling up at him cheekily. “Awwwwwww, afraid of getting too hot under the collar?”
“No.” He replied dryly.
I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the room, waiting for him to get out and lock the two rooms before asking him, “So... how do you want to play this? Just yell at them to wake up?”
He coughed, clearing his throat before stepping forward and roaring, “EVERYONE GET OUT OF BED AND YOUR HOOVES OFF YOUR CROTCHES RIGHT NOW!”
I blinked and just stared at him. “‘Off your crotches’? Really?”
He shrugged at me, as the sound of scrambling hooves could be heard all around us. In the blink of an eye, doors were being thrown open and ponies half stumbling, half scrambling out. Even Gilda came out, though she was far more relaxed about the entire thing despite looking half dead. Then again, most of them looked half dead on their hooves.
Well, almost all of them. Two sets of doors remained closed and oddly nothing could be heard from Breeze and Pitch’s room. Just as I opened my mouth to say something, Breeze’s door clicked open and she stepped through, a bit of pink staining her cheeks and soon after, Pitch stepped out, looking very much awake.
I cocked an eyebrow at Eclipse, and he rolled his eyes and smirked. Typical male.
“Alright, listen up everyone, we have an announcement to make!” I took a deep breath, trying to suppress my fear, but even then, my legs trembled. “Or rather I have an announcement to make.”
Eclipse gave me one last look, one last chance to back out.
I gave a small shake of my head and breathed out slowly. “I just ask that you all keep your mind open and to not do anything too rash. Just know that Eclipse has known about it for a long time and was assigned to keep an eye on me by Luna.”
One last chance. This was it, either I’d die in the next five seconds or I’d be in the clear. It seemed so easy on paper, just drop the disguise and close my eyes and await the inevitable, but now? Now it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Every single last fibre of my being screamed at me to not do it, but I had to. I must do it.
I touched my magic, ready to drop it, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go through with it.
Eclipse stepped forward, standing right next to me. “I have complete confi-”
I shook my head, cutting him off with that one simple act. He needed plausible deniability. He needed to be able to stand up to Luna and say he had no clue what I had planned, and he needed to be able to do that with others testifying to that fact. This needed to be on my head and on my head alone.
“Gilda, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t immediately stab a knife in my neck,” I said as they all tried to process that little fact, I dropped my disguise and stood there nervously. “Um... Hi?”
Gilda stepped forward, her shoulders set and a scary look in her eye. Eclipse immediately stepped forward and put himself between me and her, but I knew he wouldn’t do much good. She barely even payed attention to him, and hate, anger, and adrenaline were rolling off her in waves that would have made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up if I had any.
“Gilda,” Eclipse warned.
“It’s a changeling,” she growled. “And a mutated one at that.”
“Mutated?” I didn’t know who asked that and I didn’t care, I was entirely focused on Gilda, just waiting for that knife to the brain.
“A normal changeling isn’t that tall, and its wings don’t look like that. You know what the last mutant changelings did to the world?” She met Eclipse’s eyes.
“I’ve hinted at it, but I don’t think he knows,” I whispered. “I’m sorry about that by the way, and despite everything, Chrysalis does owe you a lot for what you did. You and Trix-”
Eclipse was barely a half second’s delay between where she was standing and her claws around my neck. “Don’t you dare say that name,” she growled into my face, my back pressed against the floor and my head spinning.
I held up a hoof, knowing all too well Eclipse would be jumping in if I didn’t. “Look, I’m sorry alright? But we’re not all like that. I’m not like that. I’m sane aren’t I? I’m not some all consuming growth.”
Her claws only tightened around my throat. “Even if you were just a normal changeling, that’s enough reason for me.”
“Racist,” I spat.
She blinked in shock, and her grip loosened again. “It’s not the same.”
“How isn’t it the same? I’m a changeling, therefore I’m evil. I’m a changeling and therefore you’re willing to kill me just like that. Actually, no, wait, you’re right. Because at least a racist would just hate me rather than actually kill me straight off,” I spat before glancing over at the others who just stood there, staring at us. “And you. Look at all of you. She said she was going to kill me and you’re all just fucking standing there, letting her get away with it. The only one who probably made to help was Eclipse and you’ve all sworn to be protectors. Fuck that oath, am I right? After all, who cares, I’m just some bloody changeling.”
The room was silent for a moment, before Shiver stepped forward. “I don’t know about any of you, but I think she deserves a chance to prove herself. The least we could do is talk to Luna about it.”
I blinked in surprise. Out of all the nightkins to support me, she was certainly the last one on the list.
After a second, she elbowed Pitch in the side and glared at him. With a sigh, he rolled his eyes and said, “I agree.” Another elbow. “What? Fine. Seriously, we should give her a shot, I mean, she did organise that raid on the warehouse didn’t she?”
“You know what the mutant changelings could do?” Gilda stared straight into my eyes. “Crawl in your head, twist your thoughts, control you like a fucking puppet. An entire town of gryphons was turned into a pack of brain dead zombies, and that’s before every last one of them was lobotomized into a vegetable.”
“I’m sure Luna’s not stupid enough to give me that much power,” I chuckled.
Her grip tightened around my throat, cutting off my laugh. “Fuck. Luna.”
I tried to say something, but with how tight her grip was, that was impossible. Even the mere act of breathing was impossible and I could feel myself struggling to stay conscious, the edges of my vision already starting to blur.
Eclipse smashed into her side, only just throwing her off me, but she rolled with the attack, launching him into the wall. Instantly she lunged back towards me, but it was Shiver that stepped in front of her and Gilda had to bring herself up short to avoid a hoof to the face.
“Stop and think!” Shiver shouted as she lowered into a combat stance.
“You really want to get in my way?” Gilda growled. “I won’t kill you, but it’ll hurt like a bitch when you’re shiting out of a-”
“Great job living up to the stereotypes,” I said from where I was on the floor. “Great job being a racist, you could really show all those ponies how it’s really done. Just look at where everyone is standing. You’re alone Gilda, you’re all alone in your hate and anger. They may not know who to believe, but they’re willing to give me a shot. Celestia is willing to give me a shot.”
Her claws formed a fist on the ground. “It’s not the same.”
“It’s exactly the same!” I yelled. “How is it different? How?”
“Because every second that thing’s still breathing is another chance for Aviana to happen again!” She roared. “Because an entire country is in civil war because those things existed!”
“Hey, I didn’t do any of that and frankly, I’m disgusted to be even associated with those things. It’s like saying all nightkin are like Slight! You know, the nightkin who basically bought the entire freaking Equestria to its knees!?” I yelled back.
Gilda wasn’t even listening to me. “It needs to die! Now! Don’t you see? Before it all starts again! Before Canterlot’s a war zone, before I have to-”
She twitched and snarled, “Shut up!” at the empty air next to her.
I blinked and stared at her before glancing over at Eclipse and the others. “Did she just...?”
She immediately lunged forward and grabbed me again. “It’s you isn’t it?! You’re the one making me see him, aren’t you?”
“Wha- What? I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about!” I tried to scramble back, but her grip was too strong and the more I struggled, the harder she clamped down.
“Gilda!” Eclipse shouted, moving closer. “You’re not thinking straight!” He shouted over his shoulder, “Someone get Luna! She’s lost her mind!”
“Don’t!” I yelled. “Trust me, don’t get Luna, it’d only make the situation worse.” I turned back to Gilda and stared straight into her eyes, a bit of magic sparking forth. “What are you seeing? Who are you seeing?”
“You know who!” She hissed, before shouting over her shoulder, “I said shut the fuck up, Grace!”
Grace... that name was so familiar, but where had I heard it before? It was important, it rang a bell, there was something there, something important. This was no time for that, no time for figuring it out, maybe Luna would know, but for now I had more important things to deal with.
“Eclipse, hand Gilda your knife.” I smiled up at him. “If you trust me, then you will do this. If you trust Gilda and those under your command, you will do this.”
“Are you nutz!” Pitch shouted. “Sure, give the delusional psycho a knife, because that’s sure to help!”
“Good thing I outrank you then.” My eyes turned back to Gilda and I smiled up at her. “Take the knife and kill me if you’re so certain.”
She growled. “I don’t need a fucking knife...”
“Well it’ll be less bloody with a knife, that’s for certain.” I glanced over at Eclipse. “Come on, a knife. Or a sword. Maybe a spear if you must, but spears are so unwieldy in close range like this. Not a crossbow though, I mean, yuck, so not my style.”
Eclipse hesitantly offered Gilda a dagger, and she glanced at it, then back at me, then at the dagger again. She snatched it up, and pressed the blade right up against my chin.
In turn, I tilted my head up so she could get at my throat. “So? What’s it going to be?”
“Shut up.” She hissed, and drew blood but didn’t go all the way.
So I merely cocked an eyebrow at her.
The knife in her claw started to tremble, and the cold tingle of shadow magic passed over me as she warned, “Shut up,” again.
I stayed silent and closed my eyes. Either she’d kill me and this would be over, or she’d stop and we’d have one emotionally damaged gryphon on our hooves. Either way, the results were fucked up, but then what was the be expected from two freaks? Two mutants who didn’t fit in anywhere and were broken beyond belief. Her more so than me, but still, broken was broken.
For a brief second, she pushed down just a bit harder and I hissed as it dug in, drawing blood and sending pain through my brain. And just as she tensed up above me, ready to kill me with that quick cut, she dropped the knife. Just like that, the knife hit the ground and Gilda vanished in a flurry of wings and magic, vanishing through the wall and out of sight.
I opened my eyes and smiled up at Eclipse, “See? You should trust me more often. Now, I think we need to look for her, don’t you? I suggest sending someone to Dash’s room, to Trixie’s apartment and one final group to Luna. Also, Pitch and Shiver, you two will not be in the same group and we need to talk to you about regulations. Got that?” I looked down at the ichor leaking all over my chest. “And some bandages would be lovely.”
Eclipse was immediately helping me up. “That was incredibly stupid.” He looked up at the others. “You six,” he waved a hoof, “Secure her apartment in the city, do not engage her just make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone, Shiver go with them.” He pointed a hoof at another six, “You, check the Element of Loyalty’s apartment, same orders, don’t engage and don’t let her hurt herself or anyone else.” He pointed a hoof at Pitch and another five. “You go find Luna. Tell her what’s happened.”
“And defer judgement to Trixie or Dash. They’re familiar to her and therefore probably better at calming her down,” I added.
They all saluted and headed out the door, looking unsure.
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I should be insulted or not that no one tackled Gilda off me,” I chuckled as Eclipse pulled me onto my feet.
“Most of them were trying to decide whether they should help her or stop her,” he muttered. “Right up until she started talking to air, then most of them were more afraid of her.” He hesitated. “Where you... actually the one making that happen?”
“No.” I sighed and pressed the towel to my throat. “She went through some serious shit in Aviana and she’s still dealing with all that baggage apparently.”
“Hold still,” he ordered as he starting applying bandaged to my throat. “At least her raging insanity helped distract from your revelation. Hopefully, that won’t be as much of a concern.”
“Hopefully she’ll finally start to get better you mean,” I grumbled and glared at him. “And I can do this myself you know.”
He ignored me, and finished covering my wounds. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, mother,” I said and rolled my eyes. “Shouldn’t you be out there helping them?”
“I doubt my presence will make a difference. As you said, leadership is all about the delegation of responsibility.”
“What’s this? Clipsey is actually learning something from me? The horror! The horror!”
“Hush. Now we need to move you somewhere safe in case she returns.”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll be fine here.”
“You’ll be less fine without a head. How long before she loses any semblance of sanity and comes back here to finish you?”
“You know, you should trust others more. If she didn’t kill me then, she’s not going to kill me now.”
“Yes, trust the delusional psychopath. I seem to be the only one who recognises how foolish it was to not throw her in chains the moment she entered Equestria.”
“Hey.” I touched his cheek and forced him to look me in the eyes. “She’s just as broken as me, if not more so. Give her time, let her piece herself together and she’ll surprise you. If anything I saw about her time with Luna and Trixie is accurate, she may be fucking scary, but damn. I wouldn’t want anyone else protecting my back.”
He snorted but didn’t comment.
“Not jealous, I hope.” I nudged him playfully.
“Just hoping she doesn’t cut our throats while we sleep.”
“If you’re that scared you can sleep in my room.”
He gave me a flat look.
“We can keep each other warm at night, dye your mane pink, pretty you up a bit...” I grinned at him.
“As attractive as the option is, I think I’ll pass on your offer.”
A playful pout was thrown at him. “You’d pass up a night with a sexy mare like me?”
“I’d pass up a night with any mare if I was on duty.”
“Hm... Maybe you should take some time off then. At least until you’re over this irrational fear of Gilda killing you in your sleep.”
“It’s not me I’m afraid for.” He gave me a pointed look.
“Well then I can take the day off and you can guard me in my room.”
“All I’m saying is it would be a relief for me to know you’re safe. I’m not sure why you’re mocking me when she already almost killed you.”
“Mocking, hitting, eh, close enough.” I chuckled at his expression and tilted my head back down, wincing slightly in pain. “Plus, you’re around which means I’m safe enough. I mean, she could find out where I live and appear in the middle of the night you know, so it’s probably safer here where there’s a dozen nightkin.”
“You raise a valid point,” he admitted. “But it would still be inappropriate for me to sleep in your room or you in mine... Perhaps Shiver? We could do it under the guise of keeping her away from Pitch, and she’s the only one of us who could really be much trouble for Gilda one on one.”
“Well it’s not like you’d actually want to do anything with me since I’m a changeling so there’s nothing inappropriate there,” I said with a shrug. “Also, walking around like this? Totally awesome!”
“Just be glad we haven’t run into any guards yet.” he muttered. “That would be challenging to explain.”
“Just find Luna. Plus, we’re in the nightkin barracks, as if anything could happen in here.”
He grunted but didn’t say anything.
“Seriously, you need to get laid,” I said.
Instead of replying, all I got was an eye roll causing me to smirk. One of these days I was going to get through that thick skull of his and make him realise just how important emotions and having fun was. Until then though, I’d just have to keep prodding him until he eventually caved. Heh, I wonder what he was like when drunk. Now that’s an idea to run past Pitch later today.
With a sigh, I settled down into the nearby seat and closed my eyes. Now that the adrenaline was beginning to drain out of my system and I stopped suppressing my emotions, my legs began trembling. I had come this close to actually dying. All it took was one wrong move that startled Gilda and I’d be missing a head right now. I’d die a martyr, but I’d still be dead.
“Hey, Eclipse? Are Vinyl and Octy here? I really could use something to keep my mind off of what happened.” I licked my dry lips. “Or some alcohol. Lots of alcohol.”
“I imagine they’d be at work right now, and I’m afraid alcohol isn’t permitted in the barracks. I can offer you some green tea, though.”
“Eh. Green tea is nice, but I almost died, I think I deserve some alcohol.” A shudder ran through my body. “Why didn’t you stop me from doing something so stupid?”
He gave me a look right then. Not just any look, but the most emotion I’ve ever seen him show on his face. It was anger, worry, frustration and concern rolled into one and it shocked me for a moment.
“Sorry...” I shrunk back in my seat and looked away.
“It’s fine.” He turned his back to me.
“No it’s not fine.” I stood up and placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Emotional parasite remember? I can feel the concern and anger rolling off you.”
Just like that, his emotions were back under control.
I sighed and dropped my hoof. “Fine, whatever.”
“I just hope this was worth it.”
“It was,” I said with far more conviction than I actually felt.
“Just know that if that gryphon doesn’t recover, you’ll have sacrificed her sanity for your own.”
I chuckled sadly. “I don’t think Trixie or Luna would let that happen.”
He grunted but didn’t say anything more.
“Oh come on.” I skipped in front of him and leaned forward so that I could look up at him. “Don’t be so downy-frowny.”
“Someone needs to take this seriously, especially if you insist on phrases like ‘downy-frowny’.”
“And I am! But that doesn’t mean I can’t be optimistic about everything.” I slung a hoof around his neck. “Come on, relax a bit.”
“There’s a time for relaxing, and that time is definitely not now.”
“The time is now. It’s now out of our hoof and all we can do is wait.” I punched his shoulder lightly. “Come on, you’ve come this far, might as well come further. Come to the darkside, we have cookies.”
“I wonder, what was the most important decision an offer of cookies ever helped influence...?”
“Who cares! Come on already, trust me.”
“That’s the third time you’ve played that card on me in the last hour.”
“Oh... it is? Um...” I frowned and rubbed my chin. “Do a sexy lady a favor then?”
He rolled his eyes, but gave a small smile and said, “Very well.”
“Booyah!” I punched a hoof into the air and grabbed his hoof, dragging him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go to Mixers!”
My heart was pounding in my chest, and my sense of direction failed me. I was running through the palace, not knowing where I was going other than the place Luna might be. I think I was just running in circles, getting lost and confused but my head was just so...
“You’re panicking,” Grace told me, waiting at the top of the stairs.
I didn’t even bother answering him as I ran past. Of course I was panicking. One of those things was here, in Canterlot, the same city as Trixie. I needed to do something, I needed to keep her safe, and I needed to stop it, and I needed to... I needed to... I needed to...
“Needed to murder me?” Grace offered from the doorway as I ran past.
No. No, I didn’t need to do that right now. I needed to save Trixie before I murdered her.
“So... you’re going to save the mare you’re afraid you’re going to kill?”
Yes! I needed to save her from me.
He rolled his eyes at me from a chair I passed. “You didn’t need a bug to make you kill me.”
The truth of that hit me like a warhammer to the chest, and I tripped and fell to the ground. Blood dripped into my eye and I blinked it away, and when I looked up Grace was standing over me.
“You don’t get to use that excuse. You were saner than you’d been for months when you killed me.”
I grit my beak and stood up. Okay, I was crazy. I was seeing delusions of my brother, and I doubt it was that goddess damned bug making me see it.
“So then why does the bug need to die?”
Because if it didn’t, Trixie might die.
“Then why didn’t you kill it? It’s not like you to show mercy.”
I winced and ran past him. It didn’t help, he was just waiting for me up ahead. He didn’t say anything this time, but he tripped me as I ran past by grabbing my ankle.
“You didn’t kill it, because it’s not the threat. You’re all the danger Canterlot needs.”
“Shut up!” I shouted and pulled my paw free of his grip. I scrambled back to all fours, but he was standing right in front of me.
Before I knew what was happening, his fist was in my face and I was back on the ground. Dimly, I realised the punch didn’t even hurt. It was my head smashing into the floor that made my ears ring.
“You know you need to die.” He growled. “Getting Trixie away from you wasn’t enough, you need to save her completely. The bug’s not the problem, you are. Those promises you made, not to drink, not to kill yourself, to be there for her, pathetic.” He rolled his eyes and fixed a glare on me. “Useless. Petty. You’re just as insane and self destructive as ever.”
“I’m not insane!” I shouted.
He snorted. “Please. I don’t exist. If you were ever remotely sane, that bug showing up completely snapped whatever was left of your mind.”
“Shut the fuck up! You’re dead.”
“Exactly.” He replied over my shoulder, and suddenly his face was in the mirror instead of mine.
I panicked and slammed my fist into it, yelping and shaking my claw in pain.
“Trying to kill me again?” Grace glared at me. “How twisted are you?” He stepped over, and removed one of the broken shards of glass from the mirror. “You know I’m right. I’m just a figment of your imagination, which means that you’re right. You need to die.”
“No. I’ll get better.” Goddesses, that sounded weak. I slowly backed away from him as he came closer, the shard of glass glittering in his hand. “I’ll be better.”
“No you won’t.” He shook his head. “You know it, I know it. You can’t put a knife back together after its been shattered.”
“But you can break it down, forge it again from the pieces of the old one.” My back pressed against the wall.
“But you can’t do that to a table that’s been splintered, or a glass that’s been broken.” He shook his head again. “You and I both know you can only carry a metaphor so far, and you know as well as I do Trixie could only ever carry you so far.” He come a step closer, and held the glass up. “Just let this happen.”
I clenched my eyes shut. I couldn’t fight him. I couldn’t fight Grace, not again, not after last time. All I could do was shut me eyes and wait for-
I shrieked in pain as the glass stabbed into my chest, not pushing deep enough to kill, but hurting like all hell. Grace was gone when I opened my eyes, and I was the one holding the glass.
“Mother fucker!” I cursed and yanked it out of me, cutting my palms on its edge.
Dropping it to the floor, I limped away from the mirror and kept moving upwards again. All that was left was the pain, and the need to find Luna. I had to... fuck, I don’t even know, but I needed to find Luna and... Something needed to happen. I couldn’t go To Trixie, she wouldn’t be safe with me around.
I finally came up the stairs and saw Luna’s room at the end of the hall. There were six nightkin waiting for me. They said some things I didn’t hear, and tried to stop me seeing her.
Tried.
The door to the room also tried to stop me.
Tried.
Some small part of me tried to stop me.
Tried.
“Gilda?” Luna almost sounded concerned. “Art thou alright?”
“It’s a changeling!” I hissed at her. “One of those things from Aviana! And you’re making them in Canterlot.”
“So thou knows.” She sighed and walked over to the balcony, gazing out over Canterlot. “They art different. Surely thou hath interacted with her, she is normal, and not the cancerous growth we met in Aviana.”
“Like you’d know the fucking difference!” I snarled. “How fucking stupid are you! Why would you even take the risk?!”
”Chrysalis is in the capital. She’s here, somewhere and she’s interested in you.” Luna turned back to look at me with troubled eyes. “Blue Moon as she’s now known as came to us willingly offering information in exchange for her freedom.”
“I don’t give a fuck what she wants! Mixing those chemicals with anything is a bad idea, let alone those things!”
“She cannot influence anybody let alone take control of them and if necessary We still have the ritual to stop her,” said Luna with a shrug. “The safety of a nation, your safety, justifies the risk.”
“Fuck my safety!” I snarled. “Those things-”
“In case thou has failed to realise, if Chrysalis is interested in thee, then that puts Trixie in danger.”
I hesitated, before a growl worked its way up my throat. “Then why didn’t you tell me Chrysalis wants something from me?”
“We seem to recall thou demanding us to no longer drag thou into these scenarios.”
“I’m already in this one!” I shouted. “And if Trixie’s in danger, of course I want to know! She deserves to know!”
“Well now thou knows.”
“After the changeling confessed she was a changeling! She’s been more honest than you have!”
“Thou wouldst have been informed eventually.”
“Yeah, just like you would have eventually told me about Nightmare Moon, or the way you would have eventually told me about Tartarus, or the mutants, or any of the crap that happened! You’re trying to convince me you’re my friend or some shit, that I can trust you, but you still go and pull shit like this?!”
“And yet thou art here rather than talking to Trixie. Or Rainbow Dash for that matter.”
“I... can’t...”
“-be around them right now?” Grace supplied for me. “They’re not safe with you there?”
“That doesn’t matter!” I snapped. “You’re keeping shit from me again! The exact same world destroying shit that involves me personally as last time!”
“Very well, what dost thou wish to know?”
“Exactly what kind of danger Trixie’s in, exactly what’s happening, and exactly what that thing in the barracks is! Are there more of them?”
“Bluey is the only one, We do not know what is going on and therefore, We do not know what type of danger is going on. Bluey gave us leads, avenues to finding potential information, but no information for she has none. We know naught right now.”
“You don’t know anything useful at all?” I stared at her.
“Hence why We have not approached thou before now.”
“How do you even know Chrysalis wants something from me?”
“She expressed special interest in you and we believe she wishes to use the current racial clash as a cover for her operations.”
“And what? She’s trying to use me to make things worse?”
“Perhaps. We think she wants to make the situation volatile and when it explodes, swoop in and secure Equestria with a single move.”
“Is that why you wanted me in your guard? So you could have more direct control of me or something?”
“We did not know about Chrysalis back then. We wanted thee because despite thy rough edges, thou art the best choice.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m the only sane one left.”
“Perhaps.” She inclined her head towards my stab wound. “Dost thou require medical assistance?”
“Probably a good idea to sew this up,” I winced and touched the wound. “And... some of those nightkin guarding your door might need help too. I’m not sure...”
“We art hardly surprised.”
I shrugged. “And... do you know anything about him?” My eyes flickered towards Grace.
She frowned. “Him?”
“Never mind, I guess not.”
“I told you, you were crazy.” Grace gave me a flat look. “Where you hoping she was the one making you see me?”
“Gilda, talk to Us, please.”
I glanced back towards Luna. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Everything.”
I snorted. “We’re still not friends.”
“We revealed everything to thee, it is mere courtesy to return the favor so to speak.”
“You just told me what I deserved to know in the first place, I don’t have to tell you shit.”
“Very well, ask away.” Stepped over to her desk, she sat down and pulled out a bottle of wine and a glass. “Thou may not consider us thy friend, but We hold thee and such esteem and We are willing to divulge everything in that regard.”
I clenched my beak and eyes, pinching my brow with a claw. “Just tell me what the plan is for that thing,” I said through grit teeth. “Tell me what we’re gonna do about Chrysalis, and tell me that you’re going to do whatever you need to keep Trixie safe.”
“We could move her into the castle if thou likes. Currently Bluey is still in the process of verifying all the guards as authentic, but it will be safest location for her,” said Luna, swirling the wine. “As for Bluey, we have some ideas, but first and foremost it is to clean out the rabble. From there it really depends on her own emotions, but at worst, she will be a member of the interracial guard under a new disguise to prevent any retaliation. At best she will... an interesting ruler of the changelings. Someone less aggressive and more willing to work with nations to bring changelings back to what they were a couple thousand years ago.”
“Bluey as a ruler?” I raised an eyebrow. “Have you... met her?”
“Yes and frankly the changelings need a firm kick to the flank and Bluey will give them that. Plus, she will not be worse than thou as a commander.”
“That’s not saying much.” I frowned. “What, are you just... giving the worst possible sentients the highest rank you can just to see what happens?”
“Please, We hath found that sometimes the most eccentric and interesting ponies make for the best rulers.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Look, we can’t bring Trixie to the palace. Can you set someone to guard her at our apartment or something? Some ponies that you know aren’t changelings.”
“We can ask Celestia, but the nightkin does not have the numbers to do something like that.” Luna took a sip of her wine and frowned at me. “Why? Does having thy marefriend close by offend thee?”
“Because you know she’s not safe around you, not with that changeling.” Grace chuckled. “If it happened to me, it could happen to her.”
“Look, she just can’t okay? And... does Dash still need to be in the palace? Maybe it’s time she goes back to Ponyville, you know, with things here getting as tense as they are.”
“Perhaps, but Celestia thinks to believe the Bearers will be safer in Canterlot where there are guards to protect them.” She looked at me curiously, but shrugged. “We shall not pry into thy affairs.”
“Just tell Celestia she’s wrong. Dash shouldn’t be here, and neither should the other bearers.”
“Gilda, what is wrong?”
“Better question would be what isn’t wrong?” Grace asked me.
“Shu-” I snapped my beak shut and groaned as I pinched my brow. “Whatever. Just... try to get them out of here, please.”
Luna frowned, but nodded. “Very well, We shall try and convince Our sister.”
“And I want to know what that changeling’s doing. If you could just keep me updated on the missions she’s going on, who she’s talking to, and what the deal is with her and Eclipse... It’d help me sleep better.”
Grace snorted. “Like you sleep.”
Luna tilted her head curiously to the side. “The ‘thing’ with Eclipse? Oh, that, nothing thou needs to worry over.”
“I’m a guard, aren’t I?” I snapped at her. “It’s my job to worry.”
“Very well, dost though wish to know what is going on between them then? Provided thou keeps it a secret that is.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know you can trust me with secrets.”
“Very well, We think modern tongue would say ‘Blue wishes to fuck Eclipse’ or something to that effect.”
I winced. “Shit. Really?”
“Apparently so, if her dreams are any indication. Whether Eclipse returns those feelings it is hard to say, he has always managed to keep his emotions under control and what are dreams but a mere extension of emotions?”
“What does that say about your dreams, ‘Aurry’?” Grace gave me a pointed look.
“Fucking gross.” I shuddered. “I didn’t even know changelings could have wet dreams. Aren’t those things asexual?”
“They do need to mimic ponies remember, and apparently love is the greatest emotion to feed on.” She chuckled at my reaction and took another sip of her wine. “That means thou art no longer the sole sentient in an interracial relationship in the guard.”
“I almost wish I hadn’t asked,” I muttered. “I’d rather think I was one of a kind than know that’s happening.”
“We find it rather romantic ourselves,” said Luna. “Also, we suggest thou talk to Trixie. It would not surprise Us if she decides she is joining the nightkin and We feel as though thou wouldst like to talk it over with her in advance until thou hath worked out whatever thou is going through. Also, thou hath failed to attend thy weekly sessions with the psychiatrist lately, please consider going, or at least pretend to.”
“I’ll think about it.” I replied. And by that I mean, ‘fuck you, I’m not seeing another one of your useless shrinks’. I turned and moved towards the door. “If anything new comes up, please just fucking tell me. I’m sick of this shit biting me in the ass.”
“Very well, but We ask thee to at least consider bringing Trixie here. Bluey has asked for both Vinyl and Octavia to be brought here for safety.”
I gave her a look over my shoulder, staring her straight in the eye. “You and I both know the scariest things in Canterlot are in the palace right now.”
She chuckled sadly and shook her head. “So thou art the same as public opinion?”
“The public’s scared of you?” I asked.
“And of thou and of the nightkin and if Bluey’s identity gets out, her as well.”
I snorted and walked out the door. “If that changeling even touches Trixie, I’m ripping her head off.”
Luna’s laughter echoed after me as the door slammed closed.
The nightkin weren’t there anymore, and I felt a pang of guilt. Yeah... they probably didn’t deserve whatever I’d done to them.
“Do you even know if you killed any of them?” Grace asked from the wall he was leaning against.
“Pretty sure I didn’t.” I muttered.
I continued down the corridor but found myself pausing when the changeling stepped into the hallway. She was disguised as a pony again, but I knew it was her. When she saw me she took an instinctive step back, but shook her head when Eclipse made to step between us.
“Gilda,” she said politely.
I paused and frowned. “If you ever touch Trixie, I’ll kill you.”
Eclipse’s eyes narrowed and stepped forward towards me. “Then you’ll be hanged for killing a soldier in Equestria’s army.”
“Eclipse, please.” Bluey put a hoof on Eclipse’s shoulder.
He gave her a glance, but relaxed.
“Do you know what happened to the six guys who were here?” I frowned. “Are they okay?”
“I told them not to stop you for a reason,” sighed Bluey as she rubbed her temples. “I think you injured their pride more than anything else.”
“She broke Pitch’s nose.” Eclipse frowned. “For no reason at all.”
“Just a nose,” chirped Bluey.
I shrugged. “I can get irrational sometimes. Sue me. They should have been able to stop me anyway.”
“Like I said, just a nose,” said Bluey as she skipped past. “Come on Clipsey, time to see the Princess about you know what.”
I started to walk past them, before I felt something prod me in the side. Grace stood there, and indicated Bluey with his head.
I grit my jaw, but realised he had a point. Turning around I called out, “Bluey.”
“Yeah?” asked Bluey with a glare at Eclipse and shut him up.
“I know I skitzed out back there, but if I found out rather than you telling us, I would have killed you. So... thanks.”
Eclipse glared at me, but didn’t comment.
“You’re welcome,” said Bluey as she stepped past. “And Eclipse, stop glaring at her. Once this discussion is over we’re having a night out remember? So no frowny face.”
I winced at the mental image, muttering, “Fucking gross,” as I walked away.
“What was that supposed to mean?” Eclipse frowned as Gilda rounded the corridor.
“She must think you’re dating me,” I chuckled before bursting out laughing at the annoyed look on his face. “Or at least sleeping with me.”
“That’s a bit hypocritical of her, isn’t it? She’s a gryphon with a pony after all.”
“So you’re saying I’m as attractive as a gryphon? I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted,” I said with a grin.
He shrugged. “The attractiveness of gryphons is subject to opinion and open mindedness, as well as blatant fetishism. Comparing you to a gryphon offers no real point of obvious comparison, unless it’s a particularly ugly subject.”
“Now that’s just insulting.” I punched him on the shoulder and sauntering past. “I’ll have you know, I’m more attractive than any gryphon.”
He rubbed his shoulder. “All I was saying was that unless the gryphon is obviously unattractive and unpleasant to any tastes, there’s no way to be sure of its relative interest to a pony. I’m basically saying, if I were to compare you to a gryphon it wouldn’t mean anything.”
“But if you were to compare me to a gryphon,” I pressed.
He gave me a look before rolling his eyes. “Well you’re more attractive than that gryphon.”
“Nuh ah.” I took a step forward and put both hooves on the wall beside him, pinning him in place. “Compared to the average gryphon.”
He stared at me with an eyebrow raised. “I’m no longer confused about why someone would think we’re dating.”
“And yet you’re not pushing me off you.”
“Allow me to remedy that.” He replied and pushed me away.
I stumbled back with a chuckle before trotting off towards Luna’s study, flicking my tail at him playfully as I passed. “And yet it took me reminding you for you to get the point.”
He didn’t reply.
I rolled my eyes and knocked on the door. “Enough with the silent treatment, just relax, it’s not like we’re actually dating.”
Again he didn’t answer me, but his eyebrows came together in contemplation and a distant look appeared in his eye.
Chuckling at the adorable scrunched up look on his face, I knocked on the door once more and this time, they opened of their own accord. I glanced back at Eclipse and waved at him. “Hello? Anyone home? Time to meet the Princess.”
He blinked and shook his clear, following me inside, concern radiating from him until he stomped down on his emotions again.
“And you’re gonna tell me what you were just thinking of,” I said as I stepped through.
“I’m still trying to figure that out myself...”
“Alright...” I bowed to Princess Luna who was watching us with a curious look on her face. “Princess.”
“Princess.” Eclipse bowed as well. “Were there any problems with Gilda?”
“Of course not,” she replied and gestured to the wine bottle on her desk, “A drink?”
“I’m afraid I don’t drink, your highness.” He stood back up. “Does anything need to be done about her?”
“Gilda? Of course not, her reaction was rather mellow if We say so Ourselves.” Her gaze hardened as she gazed at us. “Though We must question what thou was thinking in revealing the truth to her so early.”
“If that was a ‘mellow’ reaction, then I have to say she is far greater concern right now than anything Bluey’s done.”
“Eclipse,” I growled, “I said drop it.”
“I’m not going to drop it,” he gave me a look before turning back to Luna. “Until that gryphon has dealt with whatever baggage she has, she’s an extreme risk. She injured the nightkin I sent to you for no reason other than an irrational desire to... I’m not even sure what. A mirror has been broken in the west wing, and pieces of it were used to draw blood from someone. She was the only one bleeding, which means she was either attacked or she stabbed herself. It simply isn’t safe for a pony to be in the same room as her.”
“Eclipse, out of respect for thou and what thou hast done under both Our command and Our sister’s command, We respectfully ask thou to shut the fuck up,” said Luna and even though I couldn’t feel any anger rolling off her, the look she gave Eclipse was enough to make me shrink away with a terrified whimper. It just felt like there was this pressure, this force on me, pushing me down, and for the first time in my life, I felt truly insignificant and worthless.
Even Eclipse took a step backwards, swallowing nervously.
“Understood?” asked Luna all too sweetly.
“Honestly, no.” Eclipse inclined his head. “Bu-”
“Seriously, shut up,” I hissed.
He looked at me, but kept his mouth shut.
“Princess, you’ve already done a lot for me, but I’ve got a request.” I licked my dry lips and tried to meet her eyes, but even then I was forced to glance away after a second. “Another hivemind, like that in Aviana, but not so hungry. A hivemind separate from Chrysalis where changelings like me can go to.”
Luna blinked before she gave a short bark of laughter. “Dost thou truly believe thou art that different from those in Aviana? Thou transformation was based off of what occurred there and thou already possesses that power.” She grinned at me. “It was Our intent from the start to create a second hivemind, one under thy control. One created without the need of my alchemy. You already possess that power, or rather, you theoretically possess that power, how to access it though, is another matter entirely.”
I blinked in surprise. “You mean I’m-”
“Unique. Different. Special. You’re like Chrysalis, but not like her. You’re like those vile monsters, but purified.” Luna closed her eyes and smiled. “Did you know, thousands of years ago, changelings were the most celebrated race? They donated money, they helped other nations, they were symbols of charity and as a result, they were showered with love from all corners. And for a race that feeds off of emotions? They were the most prosperous nation alive. And now? Now they nothing, they are the dust in the hourglass, the broken dreams long forgotten.”
“So, Bluey is essentially a new form of changeling queen?” Eclipse gave me an interested look. “A blank slate to start the race up again.”
“Less a blank slate, more a new hope,” said Luna.
He snorted and glanced at me. “And you said you wouldn’t be worth my life.”
“That was before I knew about...” I gestured at Luna. “This. I just wanted to improve public opinion, not this.”
“Well, if this plan succeeds that’s the least of what you’ll be achieving.”
“Exactly.” Luna leaned back in her seat and poured herself another cup of wine. “Any further questions?”
I shook my head and bowed once more. “No, that was it your majesty. But... um... how do I do the whole... thingie?”
“We do not know, We fear that is something thou must work out for thyself.”
I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane, tugging on my braid in frustration. “Very well. Regardless, thank you.”
“Actually, I have a question.” Eclipse looked at me then back at Luna. “With the return of the nightkin, and this new breed of changelings and... well, just the impression I have been getting these days, do you have some particularly long term plan to improve the world or something along those lines? You’re enacting wide scale change in a lot of areas.”
Luna simply smiled at us. A strangely mysterious smile that promised a lot, but offered nothing. It was reassuring in an odd sort of way, it said everything would be fine in the end, and that everything would work out even if we might never see it. At the same time though, it promised nothing other than smoke and mirrors, secrets within secrets that would give us nothing in the end. It was a weird smile. Too simple, but all too complex, all rolled into one.
Eclipse blinked but didn’t say anything. He just met her gaze for a moment, before he bowed again. “Your Highness.”
I followed his example and quickly backed out, the doors once more automatically opening and closing for us. Once out, I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and it felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
“Do you really think she has some long term goal?” I asked eventually as I walked off.
“I’m honestly questioning just how accidental the destruction of Avianna was at this point.”
“Depends on your definition of accidental and at what point in time you start,” I said. “But it’s best not to question the official version of events.”
He chuckled, but continued down the hall. “Well, I’m going back to the barracks.”
“What, no, we’re going out. Remember? You promised.” I poked him in the chest. “One night off. One.”
He paused, another flash of emotion breaking through his armour.
It came and went so quickly that I couldn’t identify what it was, but I turned around and started walking backwards so I could look at him. “Come on, you promised and we deserve this. Considering the crap we’ve been through these past couple of days? Just one drink and a bit of relaxing.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea anymore. Perhaps you could take one of the other nightkin drinking, or Vinyl and Octavia.”
“Nooooooo.” I pouted. “Come on, you promised.”
“I know, and I hate to break my word, but still, no.”
“At least gimme a reason as to why,” I said.
He frowned. “Why do you even want me to share a drink with you? I thought I was boring, indeed I’ve done my best to cultivate that perception.”
“Because you’re the only pony I trust other than Vinyl and Octy and they normally work nights. So come on, just one drink. We can even head back to your office and share a bottle and grab everyone else and all go out for a drink. I bet Vinyl would love that.”
“Sorry, but it’s still no. And besides which, I don’t drink.”
“Fine, I can drink and you can have orange juice,” I pressed.
“Please, not tonight. Something has been brought to my attention, and I feel it needs to be dealt with.”
I sighed. “Fine. When then. Give me a date.”
“...I’m not sure I can offer you an exact date. I imagine a week would be a reasonable amount of time.”
“A week,” I said flatly. “Not good enough.”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I can’t promise anything beyond that.”
“No. Just, come on! What could be so important?”
He didn’t answer. “I am sorry,” he apologised and stepped through his shadow suddenly.
I just stared at the spot he had been standing in.
“What. The. Fuck!” I yelled as I raced to the balcony and jumped off. “Damn it Eclipse, get back here, I know where you work! I know where you live!”