Okay this is what happened to me so far. I got sucked through a worm hole, and landed through the roof of Sugarcube Corner. I met Pinkie Pie and had a fit, I fainted twice during that encounter. Pinkie then dragged mr through the streets of Ponyville kicking and screaming bloody murder before she dropped me off at her friends house.. errr tree. Good I remembered that so far, then I was being questioned by Twilight Sparkle and I had another fit. I fainted only once that time, so maybe I'm starting to get used to this place. Yeah that's it, I'm getting used to this place. I was dragged over to Fluttershy's cottage by Twilight where it was decided that I should stay there for the night. Gweebo my imaginary friend abandoned me to go fishing, that bastard. And now here I am trying to explain to the girls why I'm like this, I was glad that Pinkie decided to give me space seeing as I'm scared of her. So far I met Pinkie Pie, the Cakes, Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Fluttershy in that order. It's morning now and the mane six are here. I think Rarity was put off by attempts to poke fun at her. That landed me a swift kick to the balls, my god she can hit hard. Applejack was concerned that I might go bananas at any moment, smart girl. Rainbow Dash only laughed when I screamed and ran from Pinkie Pie, I don't think I will get along with her. Twilight tried to convince me that nopony will try to murder me, and that Pinkie won't hurt a fly.
Twilight: "Come on Curtis, Pinkie wont hurt you so stop acting like a filly."
Me: "Easy for you to say, you haven't seen what I've seen let alone go through what I went through."
Twilight: "......."
Me: "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"
Twilight: "I'M NOT IN YOUR HEAD!!!"
Me: "SHUT UP, FOR ALL I KNOW YOU COULD BE A BRAIN EATING ALIEN!!!"
Twilight: *facehoof*
Applejack: "Must ya always be this paranoid?"
Me: "Holy shit a talking pony"
Applejack: "Yeah ah noticed."
Me: "Holy shit a talking pony."
Everypony: "........"
Rainbow Dash: "I think we broke him."
Me: "Holy shit a talking pony."
Everypony in the room deadpanned. I started to stutter at random as I balled up on the floor. My paranoia strikes again, god I hate my life. It looks like it might take a bit longer to get used to things around here.
After that bit of random shinanigans, Twilight thought it might be a good idea to slowly ease my way into pony society, and to help me get rid of my fear of Pinkie Pie through a direct approach. I still can't believe she would chain my arm to Pinkie. Pinkie thought it might be a great opportunity to try to get to know me. I'll give her an A for effort, but if she makes one move on me I swear.....
Pinkie: "So Curtis where are you from?"
Me: "......"
Pinkie: "What are you anyway?"
Me: "........"
Pinkie: "Why are you so scared of me anyway?"
Me: "God help me."
Okay I have to admit that the direct approach to getting me to stop being scared of Pinkie had helped a little. I managed to stay with her for five minutes without having an episode, see I'm improving. ACKNOWLEDGE ME!!!!
I promise to not brake the fourth wall again. I apologise for causing anybody reading this to shit themselves. Who am I talking to.....My god this is creeping me out. My thoughts are braking the fourth wall, everypony run the end of days is upon us.
Anyway Pinkie stuck out a hoof to try and shake my hand.
Pinkie: "Friends."
Me: *grabs hoof and screams* "IT BURNS!!!!"
Everypony in the town was now looking at us.
Me: "Holy shit talking ponies."
uggg...This is going to be one of those days. You know what I just noticed, my thoughts seem to be smarter than me. What's up with that. I just broke the fourth wall again didn't I......Damn it. I guess it's time for some tunes. *Starts playing "Always look on the bright side of life."*
Everypony is staring at me now. Might as well go with it. *Starts shaking his head side to side to the music* Ahhh.....Much better.
I guess I was too busy being a jackass to notice that everypony in town was staring at me like I was a drunk hobo that just got his hands on some Ridalin. Because last thing I remember was Pinkie dragging me off to Sugarcube Corner.