//------------------------------// // 71 Alcohol by Draven Eclipse // Story: Full Moon Fever: A MoonLight Prompt Collab // by TheLastBrunnenG //------------------------------// Alcohol by Draven Eclipse Twilight Sparkle hates Ponyville. Well okay she doesn’t really hate Ponyville, but at the moment she wanted nothing to do with the unassuming town. She thought that when she was told she could hold court in her new castle, that it would be a simple affair. She got along well with the townsponies and it was by and large the friendliest town she had ever been to. So naturally she assumed that things would go at a more relaxed pace. Not as much bickering and whining as the Canterlot nobles. She was wrong, she was so very wrong. In fact, after a thorough study of all of the past times she had been proven wrong, this one was seventeen point two Twilightyears™ ahead of the pack. They somehow seemed to think that just because Twilight lived there, that they would get special treatment and have her bypass decisions previously decided upon by Celestia or Mayor Ivory Scroll. Which did not help her relation with the Mayor in the least bit. Where before they had a friendly relationship, it had devolved down to offical meetings and strained politeness. But that wasn’t even the worst of it. They attempted to schmooze her, trying to get on her good side before bringing up issues of land disputes with their neighbors. It was when things got hurtful is when she really grew to understand the true disdain her BBBFF had of court proceedings in the Crystal Empire. She had started a relationship with Roseluck. Everything the mare did was seemingly innocent at first glance. Then Twilight discovered that the over the course of several months, that she was attempting to abuse their relationship to get funding for an expansion on her flower business. That was the first and last romantic adventure Twilight decided she would ever have until she was married. Her parents would be proud. No she only had one true love now, the sweat nectar of life, alcohol. This wasn’t the dainty wines that Rarity loved to sip on as she read romance novels. Nope, Twilight wouldn’t settle for anything less than rock gut whiskey and mead. She hadn’t even considered alcohol until she met for peace talks with a Minotuar Viking Chief whose people were preying on small costal villages. Part of the agreement was that the Princess who headed up the peace talks would be required to join in on traditional Viking bonding ceremony. Which boiled down to a week long afair of drinking as much alcohol as you could and hunting the biggest prey you could find in the wild. Which lead to Twilights lovely new Ursa fur blanket….and carpet in her room. Now was not the time for reminiscing on fond memories however. She had a particularly trying day and she was now going to perform her greatest magic trick, making an entire cask of mead disappear. Twilight was well into said cask when the doors to her audience chamber burst open. Standing in the doorway was none other than Nightmare Moon. “MUAHAHAHAHA, I HAVE WAITED MANY YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Twilight stared at the dark alicorn and finished off the rest of her mug before smashing it on the floor and filling up a new one. “What the buck do you want? Can’t you read the sign, court is closed for today. Go bother somepony else with your nonsense,” snapped the irritated and inebriated mare. “I SHALL NOT WAIT PRINCESS, I SHALL CLAIM YOUR THRONE AND YOUR LANDS FOR MY OWN! AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!” Nightmare gloated before breaking into another wave of maniacal laughter. “You want my throne and lands? Fine, take them and shut up” she said as she launched her crown at Nightmare Moon, causing it to bounce off of her head. Nightmare was reasonably confused as her nemesis went back to drinking her beverage, which judging by the scent and the impressive pile of smash wooden mugs, was mead. She was expecting an epic duel to the death, or at least submission. Instead, all she was yelled at and everything she came here for. Something was wrong. “Are uh…. You okay?” she asked tentatively. Drink. Smash. Drink. “No I am not okaaaaay, I just spent the last fifteen hours listening to the townsponies argue and demand the most inane and self centered things. Then treat me like I’m the bad pony when I tell them no!” This was awkward. Nightmare did not really handle awkward well. Civil Wars? Easy. Corrupting the weak minded? Foals play. Flower arrangement ceremonies? Just try and stop her. But awkward situations? You’d have better results from a pack of chewing gum. “Do you uh…um” Nightmare struggled to think to something to say, “Do you want to talk about it?” Before she could even blink, Nightmare found herself sitting on the spacious throne beside the mare in question and a flagon of mead shoved into her hooves. Then Twilight began to rant. Five hours and three casks later… “An thash why thosh ponnies can just kiss my purple princess posterior” Twilight slurred, with a satisfactory smirk on her face. “Yeeeeeah you go girls” Nightmare whooped as she tried to figure out which one of the Twilights said that or if all of them said that. Since when were there more than one of her? Twilight smiled at the encouragement. Nightmare was such a good listener. She had never felt so comfortable talking to somepony before. Sure she had Celestia to talk to, but even then she always felt nervous about disappointing her. With Nightmare, it was just so easy. “Sho Moonie, how are you here? I kinna member makin your face go boom” Twilight giggled as she added pantomimed the elements hitting Nightmare Moon. She even slumped over and pretneded to be dead. Nightmare proceeded to choke on her drink at the rather embarrasing nickname. And did her best not to laugh at the younger mares acting skills, it was a hard fought battle. “Not sure if you figured it out, but those things don’t actually kill. One minute I was in Lunas body, next I was a in the stupid forest growing a body. Its weird, considering I was really just a part of Luna. Just laying on the floor gave me a lot of time to think. Figured I’d just get rid of you as soon as I could. Found out you were a princess and it made things pretty interesting, if I could take over you…er your lands, I’d have a nice start to take over Equestria.” “I she” Twilight nodded sagely, “howsh that workin out fer ya?” “It’s not exactly going to plan…I was expecting some big climatic battle to the death…or at least surrender. A battle that ponies would speak of for generations” Nightmare sighed, “Instead I got…this.” Twilight hummed and she thought to herself. She certainly didn’t feel like fighting right now, not after having such a good time. But on the other hoof, it wasn’t fair that she had helped out Twilight by listening to her problems. Something had to be done, but what? It was then that a sly grin made its way across her face. “Moonie, come with me. We can totally have an epic battle” Twilight said, jumping off the throne and stumbling down the hallway. Nightmare was reluctant, but followed the stumbling mare. She even had to press up against her to stop the mare from falling over occasionally. Twilight lead them to a large door and motioned for her to enter. Nightmare did so with slight apprehension, pushing the door open and walking inside. The room was large and the carpet felt very soft under her hooves. It was clearly someponies bedroom. And the carpet seemed like she was walking on the sky itself. She couldn’t help but gasp at the realization she was standing on the fur that once belong to an Ursa Major. While an impressive room, she couldn’t figure out how they would have an epic battle in here. There was not even enough room. When she heard the door locking behind her, she turned around to face Twilight whose face couldn’t be described as anything other than predatory. “Yes thish room if perfect for our battle, I hope you’re ready Moonie” “Twilight, how can we battle in here? There isn’t enough roo-“ she started before being tackled to the bed with lips pressed against her own. Thus ended the Great Nightmare rebellion. The shortest rebellion in the history of Equestria. Nightmare even got her wish, Ponyville ponies would definitely remember that battle for years to come.