***
Twilight Sparkle was feeling the pain of sadness and loneliness because she missed Princess Celestia, who she had these weird feelings for that she didn't understand and which made her cry into her books a lot and lament loudly about it to Spike or even no one in particular. Spike forgot about his crush on Rarity for a bit and so gave her some really bad and vague advice about how she felt that involved the word "weird". The lavender alicorn lay lonely and helpless like that for a few weeks until Princess Celestia abruptly decided Luna should take over the country because she was sure from the results of Luna's first Nightmare Night that she was capable of running the country effectively, so she went on vacation without checking up on how well Luna was doing at any point in time and decided to spend it tied to the hip with the lavender alicorn. This went well until she realized that she was in love with Twilight because of how cute her blushing was and the fact that the scholarly princess had saved Luna's life, which she also said to nopony in particular while standing in an empty room. This all seemed very logical but happened in the span of about two hours, which is a lot less than you'd think would take for somepony as old and smart as Princes Celestia. The alabaster diarch was too scared to admit this to the lavender alicorn, but started talking about her Very Tragic Backstory (I'll tell that another time) to take up the time, which was apparently less personal than her crush. Grown-ups are weird like that. Everything went well until Twilight's crush got the better of her and she got really anxious and stopped talking to the alabaster diarch for a bit. This hurt the solar princess's feelings, which hurt Twilight's feelings, and so one of them started crying and the other asked why and then the two of them made up and confessed and then they started kissing for like a really long time. They declared they were in love with each other and probably lived happily ever after. The end.
"So..." Cheerilee looked to either side of the room, unable to meet Twilight's eyes. So luminous was her blush that Twilight idly wondered if it was visible from the moon. She, of course, was not one to talk, given she herself was blushing furiously at the reading Cheerilee had provided. The teacher launched into a panicky, immensely apologetic tirade, most of which sailed over Twilight's head in her understandably frazzled state. "What should I do with this, your majesty? I mean, I know he's too young to really see why this could be hurtful for you, but still. This," Cheerilee waved the report around, "is clearly not appropriate for a "Stories about famous ponies" assignment. I've already spoken to Featherweight's parents about it, and about how his hobby of snooping around might have exposed him to this kind of gossip and the paparazzi who engage in it. But even then, I want a second opinion from you. Is there anything you'd like to do with the story? Anything you'd like to add to his punishment?"
Twilight tried to find her bearings, shaking her head to fight back the blush. "I, err, I'll deal with the story privately. You can leave it here. With regards to Featherweight, tell him I'll be giving him a talking to about celebrity lawsuits and the dangers of snooping. Just--uhhh---just leave the rest to me."
Cheerilee's brow creased in concern. "Are you sure you won't need any help with that or any--"
"Nope!" Twilight began pushing Cheerilee to the door with a wing, walking at a very brisk pace. "Thank you for your time, Miss Cheerilee. I'll be happy to take any questions at a later time, and I'll be sure to meet you at that tutoring workshop you're hosting next week."
"But--" Twilight opened the front door to her castle.
"Bye!" She gave Cheerilee a prod, then pushed the door shut behind her. Her magic locked the door in a flash, which was followed by her teleporting to the top floor of her house immediately. She tore a sheet from the bowels of her writing desk with a flourish of lavender energy, scrawling a quick and panicky message across the page. She rolled it up with the infamous assignment, then dissipated them both with a flicker of energy.
Celestia approached the message with trepidation, uncertain of what her old student would have sent her at such an ungodly hour, especially given the hecticness of the past few months. She opened the letter with reservation, eye scanning the frantically written contents for alarming details. Her eyes widened in surprise at what she found.
Dear Tia,
Somepony knows
Love, Twiley