//------------------------------//
// Part 9: Too Many Characters 
// Story: Constantine and the Eternal Night 
// by Jaysteeny 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 9: Too Many Characters


Golden Shield was worried, as were the pony and human beside him. They all thought the worst had happened, except George, who assumed Featherback was doing the manly thing and not asking for directions, which was in a way worse. At the same time, both the Doctor and George voiced their thoughts.
“Oh, I do hope he’s alright. He should have at least sent a messenger by now,” said a worried Doctor.
“Bah, you should still ask for directions, even if you can fly, you fool!” grumbled the only human in Equestria. Hearing one of his only friends speaking, he responded “Relax, this happened to my mates all the time back home. It’ll turn out that they ‘must ‘ave taken a wrong toin at Albatoikey’, meaning they were unsure, didn’t ask anyone or consult a map, watched some cartoons and went the wrong way. Either that, or found the place and negotiations have gone bad and they’re in a firefight. Whether or not you have guns here is none of my concern,”
“And if they are in danger then we should go and help them, if they’re lost we don’t need to, but if they’re lost and in danger we can’t.” Said Golden Shield gruffly “I’ve worked with all three of them before, and they can all handle themselves in fight, even if hostages are involved. You know Featherback was in the same squad as anonymous unicorn #2? The one who cut his eye out on a rock? Featherback killed one of those dragons all on his lonesome.” No matter how ridiculous it sounded, the Doctor knew he was probably right.
“There is one quick test we could try… Is your unicorn sense tingling, captain?” George received no answer.
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*
As the dust settled, the cause of the explosion would have become clearer, had any of those affected been conscious at the time. The cause was one of the most powerful mares of her generation, who was working alongside her only rival, aside from the Queen herself. She stepped in, grinning, and put her hat back on. Looking over her victims, she addressed them.
“Trixie hopes you will not mind me destroying the door, Miss Pie, Trixie wanted very much to see your guests.” She walked across the rubble to the stallions in shining armour. “A handsome trio of gents who also rank highly. And Trixie could barely resist a stallion in uniform before.” She smiled and looked more closely. Anonymous Pegasus #3, like all of at least his rank, had his name engraved on his armour, and inlaid bronze artwork to show he was fourth in the chain of command. Moving on to the one labelled Anonymous Pegasus #2, she saw he was ranked higher still, with silver artwork decorating him from flank to helm.
“Trixie is impressed. Trixie did not expect such esteemed military personnel to be providing information,” her hat was put aside as her horn lit up, checking for injuries and seeing how long until they came to. Most of them would be out long enough for her to take them back to base Earth pony style. Her horn suddenly detected a problem; one of them was suffering a haemorrhage. “Surely Trixie’s magic did not do this? Trixie’s co-conspirator will be most upset,” she checked melatonin levels, and they showed he would be awake sooner than the rest. “Ah, so you were sleeping before Trixie arrived. Trixie was worried for a moment there,”
It was then that she noticed the third warrior in the room. She leaned in to look closely at his armour, and saw something that sent a pleasant shiver along her spine. The most handsome of them all, in her opinion, had the platinum inlay only awarded to one Pegasus at any one time: She had taken the general captive. “Oh, Trixie will have such fun with you,” she mused, before levitating all of them and exiting the same way she entered, accompanied now by a stolen cupcake. Kidnapping is hungry work.
Mr Cake, entering from the kitchen, saw the mess, heard something along the lines of “he should really get out more instead of reading romance fics,” and saw the door-hinges and debris begin to levitate. He closed his eyes, held his breath and slowly counted to ten. When he opened them again, the door was in its rightful place, the floor was clean, and Pinkie was nowhere to be seen. “Perfect.” He said aloud before noticing one of the cupcakes he used in his other job was missing. He decided he’d wait for a week or two before detonating this batch.
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*
“Why don’t we ask that Zebra? See if her Zebra sense is tingling,” suggested Golden Shield, not realising how racist his comment seemed.
“Do I go up to you and ask if your unicorn sense is tingling,” responded George. Really he was just testing to see how much the general paid attention to him.
“Yes, you did just this morning,” the general, despite all of his tactical training and field experience, had no idea he just walked into a trap.
“And you didn’t like it, now did you? I don’t think you should take a hoof to the face on Featherbrain’s account. He’s as stubborn as the mules we didn’t invite,” George had no idea about all the training and experience the general had, and as much as that gave him the psychological advantage of ignorance, it also meant he could not prepare for his response. So, like all of their debates, it could go either way at all times.
“If that’s how you feel, then how about you go and ask her. I mean, you have experience in asking these kinds of questions,” he replied easily, with a smile that made his heart seem just like the metal of his armour: non-reactive.
“How about we try to find him, but you have to promise me you’ll ask for directions, when the time comes,” interjected the doctor, breaking the staring contest.
“Fine by me, doc. But asking for directions won’t do us much good. A philosopher friend of mine once said ‘you can’t find a lost man in familiar territory’ meaning to find him, we’ve got to get good and lost ourselves first,” replied George sagely. They ignored the Zebra idea, and set out for the nearby town. “This is going to be a bumpy ride.”

(Authors Notes) Bleh. Waking up early one handed. I intended to be done with the following chapter by the time I uploaded this, but alas, I was being downright lazy. Maybe finish it this afternoon. Yes, self-depreciating humour. Yes, an unintended reference to a film I've only ever seen the Simpsons version of. Yes, what Trixie said is probably true. Yes, as always GOODBYE, PEOPLEZ!