The flight from Twilight's back to her house was uneventful. The winds were out of the northeast, giving her a bit of a headwind on her way. Over the howling winds, a distinctive and familiar rumble reminded her that she'd skipped dinner. Her home in sight, she sped up and landed gracefully on her porch, folding her wings at her sides and stepping inside. She dropped her saddlebag by the door and looked at her apartment. As she turned on the lights, she noticed something different about her home. It was as if she was truly seeing it for the first time. Her old flight magazines littering the coffee table in an unorganized pile, a few of her Wonderbolt reserve uniforms hanging over the backs of her furniture, not to mention the dirty dishes piled high in the sink, all jumped out at her and demanded her attention.
"How did I let my house get so gross?" She walked into her kitchen to inspect the dishes. "Well, I guess this comes first." It made sense. After all, if she wanted to make food, she'd need those dishes. Ordinarily, Dash hated housework, and more or less anything not leisure or flight related. This time, however, the drudgery didn't bother her. In fact, it seemed almost... fun, to create a presentable home. Before she knew it, the dishes were done. Her stomach grumbled again, reminding her what time it was.
She scanned her cupboards for something appetizing. Lot's of ingredients... That was true, yet she had no idea how to combine them into something tasty. Until she recalled a recipe she had read while flipping through a cook book back in Twilight's library on a lazy Saturday.
It was hayseed casserole with all the trimmings. She could see it in her mind as plain as if it were right in front of her face. Dash checked her pantry and placed the ingredients on the counter.
The instructions seemed pretty straightforward, and in no time, she was well on her way to a filling dinner. As she popped the casserole in the oven, something occurred to her. The last time she'd tried to make anything harder than a grilled cheese sandwich, the fire department got involved. She opened the oven and peered inside to check her food. The heat washed over her face as she scanned her creation. Did I forget something? Add a wrong ingredient?
It smelled incredible, and would be ready in an hour. She closed the oven and glanced back into her living room. It was a bit untidy, and she did have an hour until dinner was ready...
In a half hour, her house was as clean as she could remember. She flopped down on her couch and wondered what she could do for the next thirty minutes. The stern face of Spitfire stared up at her from the coffee table as Dash picked up the magazine. She turned to the first article and read it completely, then the next, then the next until she found herself at the back cover. That had to have taken up some time she thought, looking to the Wonderbolts clock on the wall.
11:37
Rainbow gasped in surprise. "I read this whole magazine in four minutes?" she said aloud to herself. Dash glanced toward her saddlebag, her massive study guide peeking out from the corner of her bag. She grabbed it and set it down on the table, opening to the page Twilight had marked as their stopping point. Dash began reading, and unlike the hours spent with Twilight, Rainbow didn't absolutely hate what she was doing for some reason. She found the subjects almost... bearable.
Paragraph after paragraph, page after page, Dash flew through the book like she flew through the air. Before she knew it, she found herself at the index of the manual. She looked to the clock.
11:58
Rainbow's jaw hit the floor. "It only took me twenty-one minutes to read half this book?" she said aloud. Dash walked into the kitchen to pull her food out of the oven. It was cooked to perfection, and smelled heavenly. She cut herself a piece and took it back to the coffee table, still contemplating her newly acquired skill. Maybe I just skimmed through it...
She opened the book to the table of contents and picked a chapter. "Chapter seven: low level wind shear and hazardous conditions." Instantly, Rainbow could visualize every piece of useful information. It was as if her brain was a deck of cards, and they were now organized in the most efficient and convenient way possible. Every bit of knowledge she'd ever run across was now at her beck and call.
But why?
Why now? Why not during her first Wonderbolt exam? Why not in flight school?
Rainbow wasn't sure why her brain suddenly decided to start working far more efficiently than it had before, but she wasn't about to question it. After all, she had just knocked out all the studying she thought she'd be stuck with Twilight doing for the next week in under a half hour. What more could she ask for?
Dash took a bite of her dinner and nearly choked.
This is incredible! she thought to herself, attacking the rest of the food and promptly going back for seconds. I can cook now, too? she asked herself, recalling her previous horrifying failures at creating culinary art. She decided to save some of her dinner to pass around to her friends. Any chef can insist their food is the best if they're the only one that eats it.
After dinner, Rainbow looked around her house for other books she'd borrowed from the library (back when it existed) and hadn't had time to read. She finished the Daring Do book she'd been putting off in just under an hour, before deciding it was time for bed. A stack of unread books on flight theory and physics of the atmosphere lay next to her bed, given to her as supplements to assist her in understanding the topics more thoroughly. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, a horrifying thought occurred to her.
Sweet Celestia, what if I'm becoming an egghead?
The next day, Dash awoke refreshed. Unusual for a pegasus in such dire need of midday naps. Her normal mornings consisted of a groggy wake, followed by copious amounts of coffee, which was then followed by her midmorning crash and nap. However, today she was up and raring to go at six in the morning, quite a departure from her usual wakeup time.
She made herself a quick breakfast and still had over three hours before she had to report to the weather station.
"I know! I'll go see what AJ's up to. She's always up this early."
With that, Dash took off from her porch heading towards the stately farm on the edge of town. In no time at all, the apple trees sprouted over the horizon and she glided down to her favorite farmer as she sat on her haunches, her hat tilted back on her head.
"Hey, AJ!" Dash greeted happily, having already had her morning cup of java.
"Rainbow?" Applejack replied curiously. "What got you outta bed this early?"
Dash landed softly beside her. "Couldn't sleep."
Applejack had to contain her laughter. "Come again? That don't sound like any RD I've ever met."
"How many have you met?"
"More'n most ponies could take," Applejack replied, looking back toward her orchard.
Rainbow followed her line of sight. "Something up with the orchard?"
She sighed, removing her hat and wiping her brow. "Yeah, imported apples are undercuttin' our crop. They got one of them factory farms out near Appaloosa, and ever since it opened they've been cuttin' into our business."
As Dash thought about her pal's predicament, the answer seemed obvious. "Why don't you just lower your prices?"
Applejack snickered. "I can't, we're barely making anything as it is." She stood up, walking over to the barn. "Mac went'n borrowed some business books from Twilight ta try and drum up some sales, but so far he's only made it through half of one."
Dash raised an eyebrow. "You think I could take a look at those books?"
Rainbow sat in Applejack's living room, pouring over the books laid out on the coffee table.
"I wouldn't believe it if it weren't right here in front of me," she mused, watching Dash scan the volumes, her mane tied in an uncharacteristically studious ponytail.
After about an hour, she closed all the books and looked to Applejack with a warm smile. "I know exactly how to fix your problem."
She sat back. "Really? Shoot, it's only been an hour!"
Rainbow chuckled. The solution was obvious, how could Applejack not see it? "Raise your apple prices by fifty percent."
"Fifty percent?" Applejack parroted in shock. "But we're hardly outsellin' them as it is!"
"I know, all you have to do is market your apples as vintage, hoof-crafted, organic, while at the same time, implying apples that aren't yours, are just massed produced, standardized bland fruit pulp."
Applejack rubbed a hoof to her forehead. "But, how will callin' our apples all those things make ponies want ta buy 'em?"
"It's called exclusivity, something costs more, therefor, ponies must think it's worth more."
"So, you're tellin' me, that ponies will actually buy somethin' just because it's more expensive?"
Dash leaned back on her side of the couch. "Eeyup."
Applejack sat quietly for a moment, considering the advice Rainbow had just given her. "Well, I'm gonna run this by Mac, but this looks like it might just be crazy enough to work!"
Rainbow flew back to her house, still an hour from having to be at work. Dash stepped into her house and glanced at her never-before-opened weather manual. She smiled.
I bet I can turn that place into a two pony operation by quitting time today.
"Alright, let's look at the positives," Twilight said, pacing around the throne room, Spike watching from the couch, having seen her this way an uncountable number of times before. "I have a pony test subject to observe!" she smiled, her eyes shining with the possibility of new and exciting discoveries. "Who has no idea she's been given an untested and experimental formula without any timeline for it to wear off..." she looked to Spike. "What have I done?"
"Well, it's pretty obvious," Spike replied. "It will wear off though, right?"
Twilight flopped on the couch next to him. "I'm pretty sure it will... Sweet Celestia, Spike, how could I have let this happen? Why didn't you tell me what a bad idea this was?"
Spike straightened up. "I did tell you what a—"
"Spike, this is no time for arguing! I have to do something."
He rolled his eyes.
"I'm going to find an antidote. Just in case this thing goes off the rails."
"Right, because that's never happened before."
Dash sat behind her desk. It was only two thirty, but she'd already compiled the weather schedule for the next two years. "Now what?" she asked herself, spinning idly in her chair, balancing a pencil on her nose.
Maybe some of the girls need help with something?
By the end of the day, she'd helped Fluttershy create the towns first animal sanctuary for dangerous and legendary creatures of the Everfree, designed an award winning ball gown for Rarity's fall line, and baked a cake so tasty that Pinkie Pie decided to destroy the recipe rather than release something so unfathomably delicious on an unsuspecting society.
By sunset, Rainbow was once again out of ideas.
I know, I'll bet Twilight has something she needs done! She's always got some crazy science stuff going on!
Twilight answered the knocks at her door to find her unwitting test subject waiting outside. "Hey, Twilight!"
"Rainbow, how are you doing today?" Twilight asked, a smile plastered across her face.
"Great! I know we were supposed to study tonight, but I don't need to anymore!"
Twilight blushed, inviting her in. "That's great, but... well, why?"
Dash sat down on her throne and put her hooves up on the table. "It's the weirdest thing, when I was flying home from your house, and I cleaned. Like, I cleaned a lot. Then, I made dinner, and I rocked it! Normally, I can't even boil water, but I made a casserole that will knock your socks off!" she replied, rummaging through her saddle bag and finding a container with a bit of her creation from last night.
"Rainbow, I'm not wearing so—" Rainbow cut her off, shoving a piece of her dinner into her mouth. After Twilight stopped coughing, she tasted one of the greatest things she'd ever eaten. It was pure happiness in edible form, so delicious Twilight nearly wept with joy.
"This is incredible!"
"I know! Then I blasted through this book like it was nothing! And I remember all of it!" she beamed.
Twilight smiled. "So, you just, all of the sudden, became a speed-reader?" she asked, taking out a scroll and ink and started writing.
"Yeah, and not only that, I actually get the stuff I read!"
Twilight nodded. "Any idea why that might be?"
"Yeah, actually, I know exactly why all of this happened," she said flatly, staring at her with knowing eyes.
Twilight's smile faded. "L-look, Rainbow, I—"
"I'm a genius! I don't know why it took so long for my brain to finally start working like this, but it is and it's awesome!"
She breathed a sigh of relief as she put the quill back to paper. "Have you been experiencing anything else unusual? Headaches, nosebleeds, any negative side-effects?"
Dash raised an eyebrow. "Side-effects? Of what?"
"Of..." Twilight's eyes shot from Dash, to the empty couch, back to Dash. "Becoming so smart so quickly!"
"Nothing, but I do have some good news. I moved the test up to tomorrow! I'm headed to Canterlot in the morning to ace that test!"
"Really, you're ready for it after one day?"
"You bet, ask me anything!"
Twilight flipped through her flashcards. "Okay, what is the lapse rate—"
"Two degrees Celsius per thousand feet," Dash shot back before she could finish.
"Wow... it really does work!" Twilight clapped her hooves together excitedly. The old Rainbow thought lapse rate meant the rate at which someone gets lapped in a race.
"What does?" Dash asked.
"Our study techniques, of course!" she replied. Good save, Twilight.
"Right, anyway, I just came by to let you know I appreciated the help. Also, you think I could borrow some of your books? I want to get some reading done before bed."
Twilight rubbed her ears in disbelief. "Books? As in, other than Daring Do or comics?"
"Yeah, Daring Do is awesome, don't get me wrong, but I'm looking for something a bit more... involved, you know?"
Her smile could hardly contain itself between her ears. Rainbow Dash actually wanted to check out real books! "Of course you can, Rainbow! I've been reading through these, and I've made some notes in the margins, but feel free to add anything you feel is important!" she said, floating a variety of books of every subject into her friend's saddlebag.
"Thanks, Twilight. It's getting pretty late, I'll let you know how I did on the test tomorrow!" With that, Rainbow disappeared through an open castle window.
"Finally, I'll get to have an actual intellectual conversation with one of my best friends!" Twilight squealed.
"Ahem."
Spike sat at the top of the stairs. "I know I don't have to tell you how morally jacked up this is." The young dragon folded his arms. "Do I?"
"No, I know it isn't right, but I'm just going to give her one more day so she can pass her test, then I'll give her the antidote and get the normal Rainbow back."
Spike scoffed.
"C'mon Spike, twenty four more hours, what could she possibly do that I can't fix in one day?"