My Little Pony: Friendship is Absurd

by Lord Seth


Suited for Failure

“Hey! Are you in there?” Sunset asked, pounding on the door. Suri opened it.

“You know, the door is open. You can just come in. This is a store, after all,” said Suri.

“Last time I tried to come in without knocking your burglar system went off and sprayed me with some kind of disgusting goo that took way too long to get rid of.”

“Maybe using the Smooze for that was a little overkill,” admitted Suri.

“Anyway, I need a new dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.”

Suri smirked. “I never took you as the dress-wearing type. Outside of cases like when your hair all fell off and–”

Sunset stopped her with a glare. “Don’t bring that up again. Anyway, hopefully my work here will impress Sombra enough to give me some kind of promotion, and the better I look the better the chances of that.”

“All right then,” Suri said. “I’ll make sure to get a top-of-the-line dress for you.”

Sunset sighed. “And how much is this going to cost me?”

“Oh, well, in compensation for that alarm accident, I’m going to make one for free!”

“That seems…” started Sunset. She did a double take. “Wait, did you just say you’d do it for free?!”

“Yeah, free.”

“You’re not going to charge me an exorbitant amount? You’ll give it to me for free?”

“That’s what I just said.”

Sunset stared at Suri for a little while. “No hidden strings? I’ll just get it for free? And it’ll be good?”

“If it’s not to your satisfaction, I’ll redo it until it is… for free!”

Sunset looked around. “Have I entered an alternate universe or something?”

“Hey,” said Suri, “if you really want to pay me, I won’t object.”

“Never mind that,” said Sunset hastily. “If you’re really going to make me a great-looking dress for free, by all means do it.”

“And you know what?” Suri asked. “I’m in such a generous mood today that I’ll make free dresses for all of our friends!”

“Friends? I always thought of them as ‘idiots that through surprising coincidence I keep having to deal with,’” said Sunset.

“Well, whatever you want to call them, go and tell Lightning Dust, Gilda, Flim & Flam, and Trixie that if they want a great outfit for the Grand Galloping Gala for free, I’m their seamstress!” declared Suri.

“Okay, now I know I’ve entered some kind of parallel universe,” said Sunset. “That, or you’re some kind of doppelganger. But whatever, I might as well enjoy this as long as it lasts.” Sunset left.

“Right!” said Suri. “Now it’s time to get to work on that dress and–“

“Aha!” declared Sunset as she entered. “I caught you… huh. Never mind.”

Suri was confused. “What?”

“Oh, I just figured you’d be mumbling to yourself your secret angle for being so generous, but looks like you didn’t… uh, I still get it for free, right?”

“Certainly,” said Suri.

“So… uh… bye!” said Sunset as she left. She shook her head as she walked away. “Surreal…”

Several days later…

“Viola!” declared Suri as she let the others in. “Three amazing dresses and two handsome-looking suits! What do you think?”

“You didn’t make one for me?” Gilda asked.

“Well, no. After volunteering to make one, I realized you’d probably hate the idea of a dress and didn’t want to waste my time or yours.”

“Smart girl,” said Gilda.

“Anyway!” continued Suri. “How about them? What do you think? Sunset, I tried to make your dress blazing orange to show a fiery spirit while still maintaining the formality necessary to impress others!”

Sunset examined her prospective dress. “Looks fine,” she said. “I guess I’ll take it as is.”

Suri seemed slightly surprised. “No complaints or requests to change things?”

“No; I’m afraid this weird version of you might wear off soon, so I better take advantage of it while I can.”

Suri rolled her eyes. “I already told you; I’m just being generous.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is in agreement!” declared Trixie. “And if you’re wondering why I was so oddly quiet, it’s because I was looking at this dress, which is actually quite nice looking. Good shade of blue… stars in a good formation… it will do.”

Lightning Dust inspected her dress. “Bleh, dresses. Well… I guess it’s about as good as you can get.”

Flim and Flam also voiced acceptance of the suits Suri made for them.

“Excellent,” said Suri with a smile. “I’m so glad that you all enjoyed them, especially after how much work I put into them.”

“But seriously,” said Lightning Dust, “you don’t have some kind of angle in this? You always have an angle.”

“Again, no angle,” said Suri. “Although there is one thing…”

“And here it comes, of course,” said Sunset with a sigh.

“I was thinking that these designs were good enough that I could set up a fashion show! As you would have no need for these outfits until the Gala, could I hold onto them for that long?”

Flim blinked. “That’s… actually not unreasonable at all.”

“Wait a minute,” said Lightning Dust, pointing a hoof in Suri’s direction. “Now I get it. You just want us to be part of the fashion show and model these designs for you! That would save you money from having to hire people to do it!”

“Oh, no! I wouldn’t dream of asking you to do something for free that others would charge a hefty fee for. I’ll pay you. This could be even better than a regular model because these dresses were custom-made for each of you individually!”

Sunset ran up to Suri and grabbed her. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with the actual Suri? Also, how can we make sure that the actual Suri doesn’t return? You’re a whole lot more tolerable!”

Suri smiled. “Well, I’m glad you happy. This will be the best fashion show ever!”

One fashion show later…

“That was not the best fashion show ever,” admitted Suri. “But it was close! And Hoity Toity really liked my designs! Maybe this could be my in to the greater fashion world!”

“And to think,” said Flam, “it all happened because you decided to be generous and give us free outfits. You should do that more often!”

“Well, I can’t exactly make a habit of it,” said Suri, “because I have to make some money. But hey, considering how great this experience has been, maybe doing things like that more often isn’t a bad idea.”

“In case you do, I have some great ideas for that free outfit for my brother and me!”

Suri glared at him. “You’re just trying to take advantage of generosity for free outfits now, aren’t you?”

“Indeed! Shame on you,” declared Trixie. “Suri actually did something very nice, and you’re completely wrong to try to take further advantage of that. And I’m not just saying that to make myself look good and possibly get more free outfits!”

“Well, I for one am planning to head home, because I have to sent off another letter to King Sombra. And this whole experience has actually given me a great idea,” said Sunset. “Apparently he hasn’t been really happy with the letters I’ve sent detailing what I’ve learned about friendship because they don’t really have much to do with friendship a lot of the time. Or at least that’s what they think he said. It might have been that there wasn’t enough suffering involved, though I’m pretty sure it’s the first one. At any rate, thanks for the free dress.”

Sunset left. The others expressed thanks as well before departing. Suri was left standing alone in her store.

“Well, that was pleasant enough,” she said to herself. “This could all be the start of a new direction for the business! Who needs to always put profit first?“

As Suri continued babbling about the merits of generosity, she didn’t notice a large figure suddenly appear on the second floor. “Well, I guess I should’ve expected that this wouldn’t be that much fun,” said the figure. “Like I thought before, it’s so much more fun to see crazy ponies doing things rather than normal ones. Would have actually gotten more enjoyment out of her regular behavior. Ah well. Should probably return her to normal now.”

The figure snapped his fingers twice. The first time he snapped them, Suri suddenly stopped talking and appeared confused. The second time he disappeared without a trace.

Suri shook her head rapidly to try to get her bearings right. “What just happened?” Suddenly, the recent events all flooded back to her. “Oh no! I gave away all those dresses without making any money on them! And paid extra money for them to wear it rather than guilt them into doing it for free! All that money… completely lost…”

She whimpered for a little while, but suddenly a sly smile appeared on her face. “Wait! I’ve got it! They’re sure to be trusting me far more because of this. And I’m sure they’ll be telling other people about this, making them trust me as well. It has sometimes been difficult to persuade others into paying higher prices due to my reputation; this could fix it all! They’ll be able to fall for my price markups all over again! Every cloud does have a silver lining! Ha!”


Dear King Sombra,

Today I learned that a little generosity can go a long way.

Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer